17, what should I buy?

17, what should I buy?

Before you ask, grandad died at 14 and gave me and my bro 10k each. He using some of his own money as well made very wise investments and the rest is on the screen
Time in corner

Hire a hooker to clean your house

DON'T BUY ANYTHING. Save your money.

What a waste of a hooker

If I hired a sexy maid, it isnt to clean my bloody house

Nice account number and sort code user. Probably not the smartest place to post it..

I sense a bait thread, OP post naked timestamp for real proof

ok HALIFAX fag, how the fuck can the BALANCE be LOWER than the available balance... .some sort of reverse overdraft?

I'm calling this bullshit

>17, what should I buy?
A gun.. oh wait
>that pound sterling symbol

Buy yourself out of CuckLand

All these new fags derp

Its clearly fake. You just click inspect element on your PC and change it you idiot newfags

Seriously not even trying as bait

He gave you 10k and now you have 862,320?

Non-Halifax literatefag here. The available balance is lower.

I'll inspect your element in a minute.

Available balance deducts any pending outgoing transactions. E.g. You bought your grocery shopping by card but the money hasn't left your account yet, BUT the bank knows so it's already set aside.

NOTHING invest it in something

I got a few outstanding debts, you. Could give me a few hundred quid for good vibes. On Halifax too if that helps.

Don't buy things. Buy experiences. Spend a year or three traveling - bring your best friend along with you so you have someone to banter with. Put up videos of your journeys online, make a Youtube for them, you'll get 100k+ subscribers easily. You'll never work a day in your life after that.

>grandpa died at 14
Your grandfather died a teenager?

I know what available balance is. Look at what I replied to.

That was the second most tragic part of OP's story, after the part where he was a faggot.

Send me 13k so I can be debt free.

Put 500k in a secure mutual fund NOW. You are now set for life. But read up online on how to avoid it being taxed to eternity (I don't know how it works in the UK -- you won't be taxed for sure if it's in a retirement fund tho, and that's totes legal, so 100k there is a good start too.) You also want to check out what needs to be declared if you hope to apply for federal grants to attend uni, depending on how good at school you are.

If you can get the 400k or so into a mutual-fund-type account from which you can extract earnings yearly, you will have a comfortable basic income and never have to work. Though if you choose this lifestyle you will be a bored, depressed, and worthless NEET -- women will NOT like you for being unambitious.

Alternatively, depending on how tax deductions and rates on mutual funds work there, you can use this as your source to make well-sized donations to your favorite struggling clubs at university (which is basically the equivalent of paying for your hobbies) -- so for example you could even start a "wine lovers club" at your uni, give it a tax-deductible GBP1000 donation, and use the money to buy wines for the club and have fancy wine galas every month -- and still charge admission! As long as it's "for everybody," nothing's wrong with it, and you will be the most popular motherfucker on campus hosting formal balls every month.

PP:
[email protected]

Need help. Much hunger. May have pizza? [email protected] is like a paypal

At your age, if you really must buy one or two "things", don't. Do not show off wealth at your age -- it's a turn-off to modern women and men -- it screams "the only way I could possibly have this is by being completely unqualified to get it."

If you just need a trinket of your own vanity that you can stand to not show off though, pick something durable, small (so you can move/travel with it easily, since at your age you will have to move a lot almost every couple years), still relatively cheap (you will lose shit in moves -- boxes get stolen, luggage gets lost), and won't depreciate in value (so no $1000 shoes, massive bitcoin investing, or fancy latest console + 50 newest games all at once).

Fyi, the most valuable things I own are all computer, sports, and martial arts equipment -- my race skis are $250 when bought (they depreciate fast -- tech and rules change) and my iaito is $350. My desktop comp has a $250 graphics card at time of purchase and my laptops are all gifts -- one I bought is a $200 tablet. Otherwise my largest single purchases have been rent+security deposit, and an emergency transatlantic plane ticket, both over $1000 (so always have $10k in a ready bank account -- $5k is all you need in checking since transferring from checking to savings and back is free, and you can get cashiers checks and money orders from your savings account for the big purchases).

More investments.

found the autistic virgin

1. go to college
2. pay off the bills at once
3. save some for your house bills/gasoline
4. use it to mine some gold diggers
5. sell most of your outdated stuff for a somewhat high price, replace with new stuff
6. buy some nice parts for a pc
7. build a car/ buy a car
8. save
9. go on interweb, look for a badass wallpaper, go to your local printing place, ask if they can print this huge ass poster, stick on wall like a badass
10. buy a ton of stuff like flags to support your country
11. motorcycle/bike


all i could think of

Also when you put money into a fund, look up how to do it properly, and do it into federal funds so that you don't need to pay a broker who takes percentages.

Also, do not get into situations where you need to pay annual fees -- so if to avoid taxes you see this great deal for offshore banking, but you need an accountant to do so, fuck it -- you don't have enough of an annual income to afford paying an accountant every year.

Do not take out loans if you can avoid it, and use that as leverage to negotiate down costs for things that normal people usually take out loans for -- cars, houses, tuition (if private), etc. For reasons stated previously about not advertising that you have wealth, your first car, should you need one, should be cheap and used. Check out a few dealerships and check online to see how much you can expect to drop the price by saying you'll pay cash (make sure to offer proof of the bank balance in case they get suspicious that you're a drug dealer -- you don't have to explain inheritance -- the bank would have already background checked large influxes of funds).

when it's time, buy a nice used car

Invest in CARA and CBIS

Humility is one of the great virtues. You act like mining golddiggers is a good idea. Golddiggers are scum for every obvious reason, and if advertising to them is the only way you can get laid, then you are truly pathetic.

When I hint at my family's wealth about 2 months into a relationship, yes it means an hour-long bj, but it also means a new level of respect for holding back on it, and you can see it in her eyes when she's talking about me to friends -- like, if they're bragging about superficial shit about their bf, she kinda wants to bring it up, but she also wants to be smug about knowing you're better than all of them, which makes her value your relationship more (this has happened in all my relationships -- all have lasted 2+ years)

>17
Underage b&
MODS GET IN HERE

Buy a Canadian.

Invest in driving liscense.
Biy a car that will last, but dont buy anything too flashy.
Travel the world.
Live your life.
Be happy.
Dont wake up in your 40s thinking about that massively wasted oppertunity when you could have do e a lot more with yourself.

All these newfags here
is the only one noticing OP is not only a faggot, but underage.

Enjoy your b&

>all these newfags
You realise Sup Forums is mainstream as fuck, right? Weve literally got pewdiepie promoting us now, thats why we don't have based OPs anymore, a majority of the people here now are just here for the stale memes we have. Ive been here 5 years and the only thing keeping me here is the porn we get, which in turn is mai stream as fuck now. Id be suprised if you arent an underage b&

Also, get.

Literally buy 3,000 shares in Facebook stock. if it increases by $3 (and it will in a week likely) you'll make close to ten grand like that.

Also give some of it away at random. Makes you feel much better.

buy me a new car

Remember of course that cars and rent are monthly/annual fees. At your age living in a bachelor pad with roommates in a city (after uni, of course) is not only economical (less rent, no car) and expected, but it's the most fun and the best way to make friends, get your pick of attractive women, etc.). A weekend rental car is as cheap as $50 if you need to go with some poorfag friends or a date to a concert in bumsfuck nowhere, which is less than the monthly payment you will have on car insurance for a vehicle you will never need as long as you are in a city with public transportation or a bicycle.

These aren't poorfag lifehacks, like how to live on a diet of rice and beans for an entire year. This is the big stuff that will save you easily 15k/year at minimum, depending on your lifestyle, while you never ever have to sweat the small shit -- buy the premium cheeses, the best wines, the cage-free cassava-fed thai-massaged chicken eggs all the time all year and you'll be down $2000 max compared to this. This is how I manage to not live with the buying anxiety like my dad and my mom, who are terrible cheapskates when I grew up with very little money in the UK and kept the habit thru the US -- I go to the grocery store, concerts, plays, and movies, and get what I want when I want it without a second thought of guilt, because I know it's pennies compared to how I manage my money in the big picture.