Tinder Stories?

Tinder Stories?

Not tinder but meetme

>be me
>be 18
>find some random country bumpkin on meetme
>she wants the D
>penis takes over and turns of logic
>drive two towns over and meet her
>go to some random house and fuck her
>last 2 minutes then ask if she wants it in or out
>she says in
>blow a load in her
>take her home
>delete meetme account instantly

I think I have a kid

Can anyone please to try in help identify Raptor?

Keep this alive.

Let me write up how I managed to fuck up so bad, that a girl planning to spend the night, left early.

Test

out of sight out of mind, y'no wha am sayin yong blooood?

>be me
>straight
>accidentally swipe right to a guy even though I only set the filter to show girls only
>talk to a fat, lonely guy
>he's super nerdy and smart
>meet, literally fat as fuck and could barely walk
>go to his house
>fuck him and came inside of him
>go home, shower and cry in the shower
>delete tinder.

Lol damn right. Its just a weird thought to have

once met a girl for a meal, not neccessarily sex but she seemed pretty meek (anglo-indian, biology degree, didn't drink/smoke)

long story short turns out she had a rape fantasy, kept shouting at me to fuck her in the ass then spunk in her mouth, choke her til she was unconscious, she even took some valium to make her sleepy so i could 'date-rape' her and asked me to piss on her.

we're still friends, she works for the government now

>Be me, 22 ( a year and a half ago)
>Get on tinder after 5 year relationship ends badly
>Looking for anything, would like a relationship, but hooking up is fine
>Use a trick where when I launch app, I set radius to one mile
>This means that if I see any profiles above 1 mile, I know they've swipped right already
>I do this so I can take extra time going through the profile if I initially was gonna swipe left
>See this one girl, she's 6.5/10. Fucked up smile, and I don't like short hair, but other than that, she wasn't bad
>Why not? In a pinch, maybe...
>Swipe right, but don't message
>She messages me a few days later
>We start talking
>Some mutual interest
>move to texting in about an hour
>we text over the next two days
>still not sure If I wanna take this anywhere
>fuck it, why not?
>Take her to a theater is, and we grab dinner too
>Went pretty good, found out we've got a lot more mutual interest than I thought

Next day
>She tells me she wants to see me again
>Tells me she wants to come to my place, watch any movie/series I want to suggest to her
>Tells me she plans on spending the night
>ohfuck

Continued...

Man i wish i would have smashed this...
Made some hairy ugly austistic babies even!

What fold did you stick it in user?
Like, how do you know you came INSIDE him? Could have just been another flap.

2 days later
>She comes over, and I put on Chuck. (Fuck you, I liked it.)
>We watch it, because I'm actually trying to test if she playin, or if she's actually interested.
>Not on her phone, actually paying attention
>Fuck, I think I might want a relationship out of this girl...
>Sexii scene comes up on the screen
>She initiates a little playful wrestling, which I'm more than down for
>Got her sorta pinned, nibbling at her neck
>she fucking BITES MY ARM. Hard. Drew blood.
>Work kicks in. (I do security for Section 8 Housing, keeping the pavement apes in line.)
>Kick this bitch off the couch, roll her over on stomach
>Drive knee into her back, and start pulling arm up towards her head as if I'm handcuffing her (I've been doing this so often at work that I got this down in a matter of only seconds)
>Yells, "what the FUCK YOU PHYSCO BITCH!"
>Realizes I just spurgged out
>Gets off of her, she gets back up on the couch.
>I go to rinse arm, bleeding pretty bad
>come out of bathroom
>she's gone. Unmatched on Tinder, and phone number blocked
>I'm okay with this.

Pic of arm will be uploaded when I find it. Digging through old SD card.

He wasn't that fat though..

Please stop

Sounds like you dodged a bullet
>women that dont realize that EVERY man can kill then in a sec

You are pimp dude.

here we go

HOLY FUCK!!!
You really did dodge a bullet

The hell was she thinking? That that was sexy or something? Biting is annoying. Idk why girls like that fucking weird shit.

Yeah that's not a playful bite, that's a psycho bite

There are knives in any house. If a woman wants to kill you, she can, and your extra muscle won't help if she takes you by surprise. Killing is not limited to straight, bare-handed fights.

>>accidentally swipe right to a guy even though I only set the filter to show girls only
sure, buddy. sure.

wtf nigga that looks like an infected zombie bite

Here's mine;

>Don't have tinder.

>was on a business trip in munich for two days
>chilling at the hotel, was bored
>checking out tinder, get some matches the first evening
>decided to hook up with one girl
>she comes over to my hotel, started making out after one minute
>she was a solid 6/10, but nice tits
>recognized she was a total sub
>fucked her thorat rly hard, even got a rimjob
>after i came in her (condoms are for losers) she left
>chilling in bed, checking instagram, another girl (asian) messages me on tinder
>"Hey user, still in munich, got time?"
>long story short: comes over and we fuck
>also came in here

shit was cash. maybe have two kids in munich, who knows?
still thinking about this years after. was an awesome evening.

pic related, kinda like the first girl, but not her.

So if i get two knives, then what smartass

Jesus Christ, user. I thought I had a rough night, but yours looks way worse.

>after i came in her (condoms are for losers) she left
>condoms are for losers

Enjoy STDs, STIs, unwanted pregnancy and AIDS.

I thought you were a sperg until I saw this. Holy shit bitch is insane.

>be me
>find qt on tinder thats interested In nsa oral sex
>talk to her for a day or two
>don't do anything
Fast forward a few days later
>my wife comes in the bathroom while I am taking a shit
"wtf user. My friend just sent me a screenshot of a tinder profile with your pictures on it"
>mfw I have tinder password protected
>mfw I changed the tinder logo to IE logo
>mfw I go full Clinton mode and deny everything
>mfw I edit HTML stuffs to make it look like Chinese hackers

What part of "surprise attack" don't you understand?

Fucking Russians

...

I have a couple, I've got all sort of results with it.

> Try out Tinder
> Start dating this chick who was a solid 6, maybe 7 or 8 depending on your tastes.
> She tells me she loves me after something like 2 dates
> Try to sex her, but she has vaginismus, fucking Mexico
> I genuinely like this chick
> Heartbroken from last relationship, this might be going well
> She starts getting messages and calls saying I've got a family, and I should not be trusted
> She reports this to the cops, I go with her out of solidarity
> Still getting texts, accuses me of really having a family and being a crazy stalker
> Breaks up with me
> Sad as fuck
> Calls me a couple of weeks later asking me if it really had been me, saying she misses me
> Wutever. Hang up on her, never know about her again.
> See her profile again like a year later, swipe left.

>put up tinder profile
>5 matches
>all bots
>cry myself to sleep

> Another match
> Start dating
> Start sexing, a lot
> Breaks up with me after something like 6 months
> She needs more sex than I can provide
> I fucking love my job, but it can be difficult, and it needs a lot of my time
> Feels bad mang

> Another match
> On a date with a qtp3.14
> Cultured, reads a lot
> I go full assburger, boring and shill as fuck, never calls me again

> Another match
> Cute girl, fuck yes!
> We date once and it seemed to go really well
> Friends me on facebook
> Ignores my messages
> Welp

Finally, this is my favorite and current predicament
> Meet chick
> She swiped right cuz she knows a friend of mine really well
> He and her girlfriend told her I was ok
> She's like a 5 (I don't know why I swiped right)
> Huge boobs tho'
> Fuck on first night
> She's kind of smelly tho', we'd been at a bar, so whatever
> Meet again, she smells again
> We both take a shower
> She still smells, made my room smell for a solid 3 to 4 days
> She messages me constantly
How do I let this chick go nicely? Help me Sup Forums

That bitch wanted to take a chunk out of you what the fuck

>Matching with bots
Still a step up from my luck

Actually just came back from a tinder date with a really nice guy. I've been single for around 2 weeks now but time to delete I think

After three weeks I just finally matched with a girl yesterday. Said hello, she replied an hour ago.

Description says she is from my uni, but with my luck she might as well be a bot.

>visit friends in Columbus
>I decide to pop on tinder
>It's dry as fuck where I'm from
>Swipe a couple
>Qt matches with me, blonde, short hair, young
>Oh Jesus it's my weakness
>We chat a bit
>5 min in she just says "I low-key wanna fuck you because you're tattooed"
In b4 tattooed subhuman
>I decide to call her bluff as just being flirty
>Play into it... Like, fine, come over lol
>Girl shows up at my friend's place in 30min. No one is home (they left for a bit and wanted to go out later)

So I ended up throwing a towel down on my friends bed and fucking her there. I never told him. She was fucking SOAKED. When I went back home I added her on FB. She deleted me the next day.
I um, I didn't even mind being hit and quit.

COVENTRY
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Holy shit. Hope you got all your shots.