Never trust an elf!

>Never trust an elf!

Why doesn't Gimli trust elves?

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lotr.wikia.com/wiki/First_Sack_of_Doriath
lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Battle_of_the_Thousand_Caves
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They're untrustworthy

around elves, watch yourselves

They're sly, manipulative backstabbers.

sacking of Doriath during the First Age

lotr.wikia.com/wiki/First_Sack_of_Doriath
lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Battle_of_the_Thousand_Caves

Belen and Luthien steal Silmaril from Morgoth.
give Silmaril to Luthiens father, ruler of the elven kingdom of Doriath.
Thingol, the king, hires dwarven jewel-smiths to make a nice jewel where to fit in the silmaril. the dwarves grow greedy like the jews they are, and decide that having finished their work, they cannot just leave the silmaril.
they kill the king, a war ensues. dwarves sack the elven kingdom, elves retaliate.
both sides never forget, nor forgive.

There's nothing wrong with Elfs.

Elves are Jews not dwarves

>elves = Jews (gods chosen people)
>sauron = Hitler
>ring = atomic bomb
>gondor = European allies
>rohan = America
>orcs = the holocaust
>fellowship = the Manhattan project

Dwarves are Arabs. Bitter enemies of the Jews. Didn't really fight in the war but were involved in some of the events leading up to it. Also invented a lot of technology that gets taken for granted today.

Elves are liberals, men are conservatives, hobbits are green party, dwarves are libertarians.

Elves suck, that's why. You be chillin' inna woods, drinking your moonshine, maybe shooting some deer, and then there's all of a sudden an Elf pointing at you with bow and arrow and saying something about bloede dhoenes and they poop in the woods and you might step in it.

They have little knowledge of battle tactics and sometimes just sink through the ground for no reason

He is a racist. I feel like LOTR is a very inappropriate movie because of the harsh racism different creatures show for one another.

Then why does Aragorn support universal health care?

Athelas is just one step away from socialized medicine.

fucking hackson

Tolkien actually said the jews without a homeland was the inspiration for the dwarves.

historical/fantasy battles don't have to be realistic but come on there's a level of retardation that's just too much. and this is it

>the battle was meant to be entirely practical
>Hackson caved under the pressure of a tight schedule
>fired all the extras on the spot and resolved to add in a CGI battle at the very end of production

lol why on earth would you jump over the protection of a shield wall with pikes to battle in an open field instead of letting the orcs mount causalities trying to break the line first

the whole dwarven language is based on Hebrew

their lust for gold and shiny things were common and normal stereotypes during first half of 20th century, before it became politically incorrect to associate Jews with greed.

Why do only elves get away with these kinds of odd outfits?

>jump over shield wall only to be forced back onto your own comrades pikes, effectively breaking your own line while minimizing orc casualties

BRAVO

Also, Jews and Dwarves are hairy and big-nosed.

Because elves are cuckolds. And cuckolds aren't trustworthy.

>Elves are liberals

Elves are zionist reactionaries
>refuse to progress along with the rest of middle-earth
>flat-out abandoning progress and everyone else by slinking away to their petty kingdoms to do the same shit they've been doing for the last ten thousand years
>finally give up on that and decide to return to their promised land so they can continue their "out of sight, out of mind" mentality for the rest of eternity

He's good friends with Garithos.

omfg they really do sink into the ground
this is just so wrong and terrible on so many levels fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Dirty fucking knife ears is what they are.

...

ask /tg/

trust me

Imagine of Jackson actually wanted to make a hobbit movie...

imagine if it was just one movie...

fuck.

why didn't they use the shiled wall?

His father told him there was once an elf who called him a "horrid creature".

>Never trust a muslim!
Why doesn't Gimli trust muslims?