Beer is fucking disgustang. I can't stand it

Beer is fucking disgustang. I can't stand it.

Every social setting I'm in where drinking is involved I try to start with hard liquor and stay there, but sometimes I don't want to get shit-faced. When I try to be normal and drink beer I just have a bad fucking time, it's literal goat piss to me. I don't understand why everyone I know treats it like some kind of golden life-water from the gods. I'd rather deep throat a bottle of rubbing alcohol than drink beer. I get weird looks and jokes if I stick to the wine coolers that someone ends up telling me belongs to their wife or sister.

What are some options for beer alternatives? Are there better brands I just havent tasted? How can I enjoy social drinking without either getting blasted or spending 800 dollars on a batch of mildly-alcoholic liquid I like?

You only drink beer to look cool, that's it.

How about different Ciders?

All circle of friends are poor gapped-tooth hicks. They're all great guys and would take a bullter for you but they inhale shit like keystone and bud light. Plus, in a small town like where I live, that's pretty much all there is at the store. What are some brands I can look for?

just nurse a beer for long periods of time or stick to your comfy liquor.

i drink only the shittiest of the shittiest and accept that it is disgusting, but i deal with it like a man.

My circle*

Just tell OP the truth, you only drink alcohol to forget how shitty your life is.
The truth.
Taste is fucking awful. I have tasted champagne, vodka, all the "best" shit and it is still awful. You only drink this shit to make your mind slow down and rot.

I think you have a shitty group of friends if they make fun of you for drinking wine coolers. We have a large group of friends and everyone likes something different. Bf hates beer too so he sticks to the smirnoff ice stuff. I like cheap crappy beer like budlight with lime and salt. My brother likes the hard ciders. No one makes fun of anyone for drinking whatever they like. Beer just isnt for everyone.

Try out the hard ciders. If you dont like them then try out the smirnoff ice stuff. They keep you buzzed just enough without getting blasted.

You can also try out the brands of popular beers. Corona is drinked with a slice of lime and salt. Blue moon is drinked with orange slices. Every beer brand is different and tastes vastly different. Heineken isnt bad. Shock Tops have a variety of flavors from salted pretzel to pumpkin
If you end up not liking them, then so what? Drink your wine coolers. Dont let others tell you what to do

Well no cuz that's not always the case. I don't drink every day, maybe once a week or so, and my life isn't all too bad. I just like that perfect spot, that buzz that turns contentedness into euphoria. Plus, I really like Jaeger and many sweet wines, several mixed drinks. Just the social drinking and drinking games takes it a little farther than I want it to. Just felt like it'd be easier to control if I had something masculine to drink that didn't put me on my ass.

mix drinks ftw

laughing at fags who force themselves to drink pee water

Have you ever tried GOOD beer? No not your trendy craft beers. Like Bavarian lagers or wiessbiers. Check out Wiehenstephaner or Hofbrau at your local bevmo and thank me later. Wiehenstephaner's Hefenwiess has a 99 rating on beer advocates, and is extremely tasty.

Don't know what you've tried but only beers I can tolerate to an extent are legit Belgian wheats, lkke Franziskaner and sometimes Stella Artois.

>That nice buzz
Lol ok m8.

They're great guys, just lots of ribbing and I agree with them on some level. Tried Corona/blue moon/heineken and they all taste awful to me, not sure if a slice of fruit will improve that too much. I think I tried a couple shock tops, some of them weren't so bad. I just have a sweet tooth for drinks I guess.

I fucking hate beer, which is why I drink wine, rum and coke, whiskey and coke, seven seven, etc. But I will say the hard sodas are getting pretty damn good, especially the Coney island brands and the not your father's brand

Calm down degenerate. Not everyone drinks to forget they're a failure like you. Many people do it recreationally.

beer is OK.. I like it

I collect rents and don't even need to work.

There is a beautiful dry cider called James Squire orchard crush. Avoid strongbow. Just experiment cider is delecious and anyone who tries a good dry cider will convert from beer drinking

I had the same problem OP. Try apple cider.

Angry Orchard is great.

Drinking a cold beer when it's hot af feels pretty based

Other than that I'd rather drink liquor. Plus the hangover from beer is far worse. I feel like I'm gonna die if I drink a shitload of beer.

Where do I even get this stuff? I live in a small town, we dont have any micro-bistro-brewery biblioteccas. We get our shit at Walmat, and I've never seen any wiederhousenfeimenlooman or any braustenshtauneren in the booze aisle.

I've had the same opinion as you OP,the only thing I drank was hard liquor,but then my friend introduced me to some belgian and scotish beers and let me tell you,they are dope.

Get some good domestic beers.
Yuengling, Sam Adams, Sierra Nevada: not owned by foreign corporations, have one at your own pace and don't be a snob about it.

Best advice is to spend the day doing hard labor from sun up to sundown and grab a Gose (salted beer for German peasants, OG gatorade). You'll be pleased.

Try Angry Orchard if you like sweet taste.

Bud Ice if you prefer smooth almost watery taste.

Both get you drunk

I'm a level three certified sommelier, and all-around beverage expert working as a consultant in DC, I've tasted somewhere in the neighborhood of 1300 different vodkas over the last fifteen years and I always hear people talk about which vodkas are the "best". Vodka is grain neutral spirit, so the re-distillation and filtering is all that matters, not whether it's made with grain or potatoes or whether some rapper calls it Ciroc and charges $60 a bottle for it just so niggers can try and steal it constantly (You may notice that Ciroc is locked up in almost every liquor store...there's a reason for this). Anyway, anything over $40 and you're paying for the bottle, not the vodka, in short...can confirm OP is correct, for the money vs. quality Stolichnaya is easily the best vodka. And that's an actual protip.

So, a failure.

this user has a point

I agree strongbow is fucking trash and gives cider a bad name.

based weihenstephaner
i dunno OP, check out your local breweries. they probably have a beer thats at least somewhat appealing to you. try it, and if it sucks, try something else.

>Jealous because I don't need to be a slave of someone else like him

you are a slave to the people who pay you rent.

mix beer with orange juice

Yea absolute garbage tier and unfortunately most people's experience with cider. I was lucky enough to not try it first or I'd never have got into cider

Like I said, I live in a small town and I can't just mosy on down to my local upper-class haufestensen brewery or whatever.

This is great b8, thanks.

For the Bavarian beers I mentioned, Wiehenstephaner and Hofbrau, you cant get that shit at walmart. google bevmo and see if theres something similar in your area. or maybe check an independently owned liquor store that has a larger beer selection. Walmart has complete SHIT beer.

All the people telling you to drink cider are pussies, and cider is for pussies. its like applejuice. Do yourself a favor and get some beer brewed the right way. Brewed under the Bavarian Purity Laws of 1516 AD.

Best beer in the world.
If you can find it.

i think you mean tequila champ

Great Lakes Eliot Ness - top ranked amber (vienna) lager most years. so good

Don't be one of those cocks m8. "Man MANS mans drink". I don't want to look like a fruit but I'm not going to be one of those guys who ruins the happiness in his life because it makes him more manly. Not even what being a man is about. If I dig the cider I'll dig the cider.

Thanks for the advice though, I'll google around. There might be something in this tiny shit town, or at least a few miles away.

westbrook gose is so perfect

heck, my bad. which state are you in?

I fucking love beer, but it gives me the shits and lots of gas too, so I usually drink a bit of beer and proceed to get hammered on whiskey…

You're cute. Stick with your life plan and you'll probably kill yourself within 10 years.

Have checked for a wheat allergy or cylliac condition?

If you spend the evening on wine/cider/spirits do you still get mad farts or shits?

the main reason i say cider is for pussies is that with the kind at walmart, they just looooad it up with sugar and corn syrup. its fucked.

la croix and vodka on ice

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I'm a level seven certified sommelier, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Budweiser, and I have over 300 confirmed taste-tests. I am trained in redneck beerfare and I’m the top sommelier in the entire US beer forces. You are nothing to me but just another drink. I will taste-test you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of sommeliers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, wine-drinker. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your beer. You’re fucking tasted, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can drink you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare bottle. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed drinking, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the entire German Drinker's Union and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable beer off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking beer. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit beer all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking drunk, kiddo.

When social situations demand I drink beer, I drink one of those fruity Mike's hard lemonade things, IMO the strawberry one has barely any beer taste at all and just tastes like a tart strawberry soda

It grows on you as you drink more. When I was young I thought it tasted gross. After you have it a bit a slight sense of alcoholism enhances it's flavor.

Coors light is a decent choice since it's slightly less likely to make you a fatty if you drink regularly.

There are a lot of bitch beers out there though. Apricot ales taste like soda usually. One company makes a beer called purple haze that's a strong berry flavored beer.

Ipa's taste kind of like a pine tree, especially stuff like Pliny the elder or eye of the hawk. They can be very strong and get you fucked up fast, as long as you don't mind it tasting like you are drinking beer made from the water at the bottom of a Christmas tree.

The most perfect beer on earth

same trips replied to same trips

I've had IPAs, even the pals who hoover beer say they're disgustang so I'm sure you're shocked to hear that I'd rather drink cat vomit.

New mexico.

... with pasta

That's pretty impressive

Mix drinks or just drink hard lemonade, they're like soda with alcohol, very tasty. I can't stand beer after I finish the first bottle.

I drink beer because I like it, could not give two fucks about the setting and always gravitate toward it. In places you're circle jerking spirit selections I'm getting looked at sideways for picking a beer, so fuck it.

Yeah I think they taste off too.

It's mostly alcoholism that makes stuff taste good. I've had ha hover days where I sipped a beer and it tasted like fuck thus is terible.

Other times I've gone a week without tasting a beer and it tastes like mana from heaven.

I used to bang a girl that made really great mixed drinks. I've been really impressed with skyys Georgia peach and pinapple vodkas.

I agree that beer is basically drinking piss.

Just get a Caotain & Coke, and nurse the thing for a while.

That's another thing. I'm 23, never been to a bar - all the drinking I've done has been with pals in someone's living room or back yard. What are some good mixed drinks I can get if I ever do go?

gin and tonic .

Alcohol is an acquired taste. The more you drink it the more you will like it. Trust me im a chain smoking alcoholic. Whiskey taste like water to me these days. But 20 years ago it all tasted like shit. Also dont drink fruity shit unless you're a chick. People will laugh. Bartended for a long time and only the weirdos and faggots drank that shit

Maybe try some actual good beer not fucking Budweiser. Like cmon faggot, that's for cheap, the poor, and women.

Double XX is the best beer out there and there's plenty of good ales.

I personally hate hard liquor, it all tastes like shit regardless of how much money you spend on it. It's only good for getting drunk.