All my friends think im ironically making suicidal jokes but im not

All my friends think im ironically making suicidal jokes but im not

...

Jason?

Are you beyond retard?

If you killed yourself I bet they'd put the pieces together then.

Dubs and you don't kill yourself. And you post on the mountain few Facebook page about your problems.

Well then maybe you shouldn't joke about suicide around your friends, asshole

teach them a lesson and kys

So then kill yourself. Some of your friends will screw in the depressive grief that ensues because everyone should have seen it coming. The two times I've had friends or people close die I've wound up hooking up with chicks I'd known and crushed on since childhood. Shit was amazing. Grief sex is one of the hottest ways of comfort. (Rip Jacob but your sister got a phat ass and suck a mean dick homie.)

Realistically, you killing yourself is the best way to benefit mankind. You wont be consuming anymore, or harboring and carrying disease, you wont muddy the gene pool, and some of your friends get pussy. Its literally a win for you, a win for them, and a win for humanity. The truest and noble of situations, a true Win, Win, Win situation.

too late for that all my friends became 9gag memers that pretend to have real problems when their biggest problem is what to eat today

OP here, just kidding. I post this shit on facebook to get dumb shits to reply. I just wanted to know if Sup Forums was just as dumb.

nah real op here i still wanna kill myself but am too much of a pussy

It doesnt matter you're both double nigger faggots.

...

This sounds accurate. I agree

Dubs confirms. Make like a banana and hang yourself OP

Livestream it. Make your life actually worth something to those of us who want to jerk it to your ultimate suffering and release.

Do drugs. It'll help.

tell us some suicide jokes, op

Same

it could be situational irony if you're already dead inside

Its too late he hung himself

God speed OP

sadly i cant, i was raised only by my father who tried his hardest for me to have everything i needed for living, i dont want him to feel like he fucked up somewhere or that he didnt give me enough

Sounds like murder suicide time. Carbon monoxide poisoning style! Take you and your pops out in your sleep!

Or just make it look like an accident. Like carbon monoxide poisoning.

Yeah Ive given it some thought and if you made it look like an accident pretty sure your friends will still grief bag each other sideways. So theres that.

Yeah it's me! Who is this? Brandon??