Sup Forums, I need help. Story time

Sup Forums, I need help. Story time.
>be me, effectively NEET
>dropped out of college, working for a shitty startup bringing in $0
>living with grandparents
>ugly, fat, and broke
>the whole feelsbadman treatment
>my life is shit and I know it

>anyway
>applying for jobs online, looking for anything good
>applied to an "admin assistant" job at a webhosting company among other jobs
>get a text back, guy wants an interview
>go back and check how much it pays
>$70 an hour, full time job
>math time
>$70x40hr/wk = $2800 a week
>$2800x4 wks/m = $11200 a month
>$11200 x 12m/y =134400 before taxes
>from a NEET to 6 figures
>basic office work, excel, answering phones, emails
>easy shit
>pic related
>I respond to the email, tell him I'm free whenever he is
>interview is wednesday

Sup Forums listen I literally CANNOT fuck this up
help a brother out
how do I ace this interview

I'll dump pics as we go lads I need this shit

Best advice I can really think of is to get some practice with their software and do some research on their company. Good luck either way, OP, make us proud!

bump

thanks user
my issue isn't the work itself though, I just want to make sure I get in the door
I'm a nervous wreck and idk how I'll live with myself if I fuck up this interview

Also, looked up a bit on the company. They're a webhosting service that mainly manages websites for medical companies. It seems rather impressive and doesn't give off a sketchy vibe

Always go in well researched.
Know what they do, know how they do it, know the crappy mission statement and that touchy feely workplace values crap. Normally, for non-technical jobs, employers are impressed with a candidate that researched the company.

Come up with a few polite inane questions such as can we go over normal responsibilities, is there any chance for movement(promotion), etc. Another chance to show interest.

SHOWER THE FUCKING NIGHT BEFORE AND MORNING OF! WASH EVERYWHERE. SCRUB YOUR FAT NASTY BOTTY. Not being mean but you want this right? Then you need to smell good. Don't reek of perfume/cologne. Just don't smell bad/sweaty. Use baby powder if you need to. GET DEODORANT!

Dress appropriate. As in not jeans or pajamas. Were the nicest most professional workplace officespace attire you have.

Finally, leave your house so you can get a parked 20 minutes early. Take a mint, then walk in 15 min prior to the scheduled interview time.

When your in the interview, don't be needy. Be interested and interesting. Don't slouch, sit-up, maintain eye contact but don't stare unblinking, don't fidget. Hands on your lap if you can't help it. So no toe tapping or hand waving.

That's all I got. Best of luck and don't fuck up.

the solid straight talk I needed
much love bro

Service member faggot here

My advice to you is that when you actally get invited in for the viewing, you are highly disciplined. Shit man it works.
Don't sit down until he offers it to you, don't put your hands in your pockets at all (Show's weakness). When he actually tells you to sit down, a proper "Thank you" is obvious. Feet together at a 45 degree angle and hands on your knees with your forearms against your quadriceps. Back straight, confident tone, and proceed on with the questions. No stuttering, uhs, ums, or any of that bullshit. Be confident in everything you say, even if it's wrong. You can really decieve the shit out of people if you make it seem like your right by how confident you are but really your dead ass wrong.
No narrcistic comments either. Shows unprofessionalty, they want a good working product to continue their conveyer belt of bullshit.
Tbh that's all I got amigo, best of luck.

thanks for your service m8 07

How would you recommend dressing? I want to appear professional but not overdressed

Buy a fucking suit. It will pay for itself.

roger that

Legit a khaki shirt, and one of those nice ass dress pants from men's warehouse.
Glad I could offer

I can totally do that. I may be a failure but I'm a hygenic failure so I at least have that going for me

I'm planning on bringing a notepad and pen, copy of my resume, phone on silent, tin of altoids for before

Anything else specific material or document-wise I should be considering?

Also, I'm an eagle scout and that's on my resume. Should I try to fit that into the interview somewhere, or wait for him to ask?

Don't take your phone in. Only creates a pointless bulge in your trousers

No, that's a good thing. The higher-ups in companies love seeing a young man with a bulge in his pants. It signifies virility and healthiness.

Will leave phone in car, noted.

If this isn't bait... No one pays an admin assistant 6 figures unless they do anal. Really hope this is bait else you gonna be disappointed user

Bullshit. There isn't an admin assistant position on this planet that pays 70 an hour.

or have a sore bumhole

I wish it was bait user I had potential once but it's come to this
I did some research tho and it all seemed legit, I was skeptical at first too

I can link the job posting if you want user

https:// www. indeed.com/viewjob?jk=3d802abcb265e293&from=myjobs&tk=1b8qv4c9r5rp3cg9

yeah please do.

Their indeed account is sketch as fuck but I did some digging and found http:// www. telecarecorp.com/ which is a site they manage

just applied for the job.
emailed this thread and took a couple screenshots to send.
also gave a bit of history about this website...mostly pedophilia.
enjoy your interview lol

When inna interview dont think of it as one. Think if it as a conversation between you and the employer. The employer is basically gauging out what type of person you are and shit. Anyways good luck faggit

If I didn't expect it I wouldn't have posted the job listing
Challenge mode achieved

thanks user, will report back with results!

fuck you slut. I was craving a reaction.
I didn't even look at the link though mate

Been here far too long to be baited that easily faggot

I was expecting you to be a young fag or I would have made an account, applied for the job, typed the email and take a screenshot to post here.

good luck

all in good fun, thanks for not doing it for real
Thanks for the encouragement to make sure I get it 100% right just in case you did tho

literally just tell them everything they want to hear.

props to you pal, you deserve success all the more for not floundering in 4chans BS. All luck and confidence to you.

thanks user and all who responded, your encouragement means a lot!

best waifu

speedwagon best girl
/thread

nice dubs

yes speedwagon best protagonist, jojo, jobro, jogirl, villain, god, stand and waifu

what aint there to love

Speedwagon/Okuyasu 2020
Make America Best Boy again
This is now a jojo thread

...

...

...

...

...

jojo thread engaged, farewell OP

it was a pleasure friend, thanks again

...