hey Sup Forums, i need help on this one.
i've been with this girl for 2 months now and I discovered this weekend that she has Tinder and a shitone of matches. The thing is that she never answer any messages guys send her. The fact she has a lot of male friends with whom she's texts everyday makes me very uncomfortable.
what do you think Sup Forums, what should I do ? Should I just trust her ?
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lol , no , if she was loyal to you she wouldn't be ON TINDER , sorry user but the truth hurts sometimes
Male friends are fine, but the tinder is a red flag
Have you asked her/talked to her about why she has a tinder?
op here, i think she already had tinder before we met, some of the messages were really old. seems like she just didn't uninstall it from her phone
>The thing is that she never answer any messages guys send her. The fact she has a lot of male friends with whom she's texts everyday makes me very uncomfortable.
Wtf are you saying...
if she hasnt used it in months then why are you worrying ?
On tinder she never answer messages, but I often saw her on facebook chatting with guys. Sh'es a popular type of girl
I wouldn't consider having Tinder and not responding to the msg she gets a red flag.
Maybe she is just reassuring herself that she is atractive
>popular girl
GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE WHILE YOU CAN !
Strong word of advice.
Listen to those red flags, whenever you spot them - and do something about it.
Otherwise if you let those red flags accumulate them something horrible will happen that will utterly destroy your self confidence and self respect.
Or just break your heart.
See the red flags, ask for confirmation from someone you know is honest if necessary - but do something about them, as quickly as possible.
Girl with a ton of guy friends is a red flag, always.
Girl on tinder with 2,000 dicks flying at her every day is a red flag.
Are there any more?
Do you show affection together in public, or more importantly - does she act like she is yours and only yours whole in front of these guy friends.
Do you kiss her in front of them, so they seethe or squirm.
Does she avoid kissing you or showing affection in front of them.
Things like that.
Anything that goes under your skin
Popular with guys wanting to fuck her. She's gullible and thinks they don't just want to fuck her, or she knows and enjoys the attention.
T. My girlfriend is extremely sought after on social media and if I didn't know how much she us basically dependent on me, I'd feel the same
>2 months
>less than 8 weeks
Just talk to her about it, and ask if she is still looking for matches. Be nice about it and not possessive.
See what she says. I mean, 2 months into my last relationship, I was still checking out dating sites because frankly, 2 months isn't that long. You aren't even close to being serious at that point.
>seeking constant verification from strangers
That is a red flag.
Are you a female?
because she's always receiving messages from dudes and friends, then fact she has Tinder, ashitload of matches and guys sending her a lot messages makes me uncomfortable. She's sometimes responded with a shitty answer to to the mathces and the conversation was quickly finished.
my response
See if her contact with the dudes and her time on facebook/tinder/find-a-cock reduces over the next month.
It should do.
As she should be seeking more emotional stuff from you, not the rest of the town.
If not, consider dropping her and finding a non whore.
That type of attention seeker/needer ends up fucking a faggot at a party after she's had a minor argument with you, then blaming you for it if you ever find out.
I've never met her friends, but when we're outside she's not afraid of holding my hand and she even sometimes kiss me. I do look paranoid lol but still. I have this feeling that I could be easily replaceable
If you feel that, it is either true, or it is something in you that makes you low on self-esteem.
If it is the second, she will notice it or you will do something stupid because of it.
If you act unphased by it, and remain confident and sure of yourself, while focussing on your own life and improving yourself and it - you will be better off, with or without her.
Exercise daily, eat well, study harder, find a new job, pick up a new hobby that challenges you - best if it is a social hobby.
If you focus on your own life, she can learn she is either along for the ride, or she is left behind.
serious question OP. From 1-10 how hot is she?
1, but she's my cousin which makes her a 5 at least for the taboo factor.
OP here, a solid 6.5, going for a 7/10.
Thanks for the tips. I always had this feeling that i have a low-esteem and i'm scared to fuck something up.
How would you take yourself in terms of looks, and separately in terms of self confidence.
post pic ?
dude, really??
-____-
no no i have a reason , if you post a pic (censor some parts if needed) and most of the people here say they would fuck her then you know that you need to worry about her going with someone else
i dont think you should worry that much, guys always hit on girls. Just make sure that the people she msg are friends. Just casually try to ask her for how long they been friends for
OP, post pics
I think have a good look, i dress well and care about my hygiene. 2 years ago i was overweight (110kg) and i lost more than 30 kilos - giving me HUGE self-esteem boost. I stop my diet some months ago and i think i gain regain weight. Even though some people said to me i looked fit, i've always had this feeling that i'm fat.
im not op m8 he is
lolololol OP all girls LET other guys message them you know those bitches who post ss of how "pervy" and creepy guys message them nonstop? Why do you think they just don't simply block them or set the settings to friends only on fb?
Because they love the attention, even married, engaged girls will answer to random people
So if she had all those matches on tinder, do you think she is going to erase them all just cuz she is dating you? She will keep them there just in case, I wouldn't worry, unless she actually does something like
>never introducing you to their friends
>flirting with other guys via txt, chat, tinder
Just ask yourself, if you used tinder and got 200 matches with cute girls, then one agrees to date you, would you unmatch all thsoe bitches? No, you would at least keep them around
Loli time!
ipanon.com
vpn link why ?
Hey man, well done. But stick with the diet or rather stick with healthy eating habits, not necessarily,a formal diet.
Also stick with exercise every day, for yourself. Even walking and/or pushups.
There is likely a lot of residual self esteem problems from how you view yourself based on how you felt when you were overweight.
That's normal.
List the things that make you someone you like.
Say them out loud to yourself, and realise you've done a good thing by putting yourself in shape.
Keep with it.
Now, keep challenging yourself. Learn new skills, do things that frighten you, face your fears.
Your happiness comes from you, not from this chick or anyone else.
Knowing that will help you prioritise.
Don't let your fears becoming self fulfilling prophesies.
Also don't stick around if you have a gut feeling about something.
If she hasn't touched her tinder while you've been going out with her, that's good.
If she chooses to spend her time with you, that means she likes you.
If she holds your hand in public and kisses you, then she isn't afraid to show it.
So be a bit more confident dude.
If you see any more red flags, pay attention to them, and if things aren't going how you like them, or she isn't who you thought she was, then leave.
Don't be too paranoid, but don't be too accepting of bullshit either.
Set boundaries and stick to them, for you and for her.
right you , calm down now
Master Yoda said it best man. Learn to let go of what you fear to lose. If you want to tap that shit then tap it.
You can even care about her and stuff if that's your game. Just be okay with the idea of her bailing, or you are asking to get burned.
The way I see it you can either cry about it or enjoy it while it's there, and maybe if it keeps going give trust a little more time to develop.
But if you start losing your shit over it, and I guarantee she'll lose her shit right back. If it will break your heart either way and you can't deal with the possibility of her being with other guys then you should get out now.
This.
If she flirts with other dudes just dump her politely and act like nothing happened.
Then move on and find a girl with a better character.
Also, if she puts any dude above you in the priority list, apart from her father - consider leaving her as she isn't worth it.
/thread more or less
thanks man. That's helping me a ton. A big thing i think i need to change is that I never set myself as a priority when I make a choice. Others always come first in my mind. I often get complimented about my generosity but at the same time it's the thing that kills me - I never feel i receive the love i give.
/thread indeed
I've done the same a lot in my life, I've been working on prioritising myself more.
Not being selfish, but not doing things that fuck yourself up indirectly.
Really, you'll feel a lot better and be in a better situation and more peaceful state of mind once you put yourself first. It will also make you more able to help others if you yourself are in a good position.
One thing that helps me focus a bit is the thing life guards learn, take care of yourself and don't put yourself in danger - because if you sink, you can't save anyone - you drown, they drown.
Remember too, everyone is living their own life - so it is your solemn duty to live your own life for you, and to take care of yourself man.
Funnily enough, same goes for sex. Girls generally like it when you do what you want, and then have them in the second part of your mind.
You are the main quest, anyone else is the side quest.
You will need to practise at putting yourself first, but it will make you a lot more balanced and at peace, and it will become easier and more natural as time goes on.
Doesn't mean you don't help others, but don't put yourself in a bad position while doing so.
A simple thing I should add that will save you some years of misery.
In a relationship, only put in 50% of the total, and she should be putting in the other 50%.
This is really important, no matter how much you want to give everything in one giant ball of energy.
Give as much as you receive, and receive as much as you give.
Meant to ask also, what would she do if you were chatting with girls all day on facebook and text message?
Consider that, and consider the idea of balance.