ITT: We work in an office

ITT: We work in an office

Can someone correlate these fucking papers please

WAT IS THIS BULLSHIT ?

>zips vodka disguised as water in a plastic bottle

Get Johnson to do it. He's done nothing the past 3 months.

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT DEBRA!
how many fucking times do i need to tell you the accounts receivable paperwork is not there for you to make fucking timestamps out of you dirty hoor!

has anyone seen my green highlighter?

SOMEBODY SHIT IN THE URINAL AGAIN

I think Bill from Investing has it. I saw him with a green highlighter earlier.

Bill?! really
fuck i hope he isn't sticking things in his ass again
thanks buddy

>sips coffee loudly

Yes for the Tron cube city

SHUT UP, CARL.

*coughing* Should have called in sick. But then I would have to be at home with the kids. Rather be here.

I'll set the building on fire, if anyone takes my stapler.

Has anyone seen my stapler?

who the fuck pissed in the coffee pot?

can i borrow your stapler?

Hey Mark, we have another paper jam in the printer.

Beat me by 20 fuckin seconds

*watches porn on pc*

Milton took it.. he was mumbling something

anyone notice how many flowers evelyn got today? a little over the top dontya think?

Stop photocopying YOUR ASS TOBY!!!!!

...

They're from her gardener, the one who tends to her bushes when her husband leaves, little whore

It's fucking hot, Steve! You want me to burn my goddamned mouth?!

...

what movie this frOM?

husbands compensating for something... we all know she's fucking Tyrone from the mailroom

Yeah, if you could stay overtime and get these forms sorted out that'd be great.

-"I don't care anymore, I'm going to delete system 32 on the admin comp, everyone's files will become corrupted"- gosh the weather is great today!

Can I perpetrate a mass shooting instead?

9 to 5 XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Hey guys it's Linda's birthday on friday so can you sign the card and pass it around the office, also if you want to put in some cash for the party we are gonna get some cheese pizza, cupcakes and chicken tenders, but you are welcome to bring in your own alternative snacks if you have any dietary restrictions or just feel like contributing.

Only if you're a sand-nigger

nobody eat the chicken sandwich in the fridge. steve has been stealing my lunch lately and i left a hot load in it for him.

> I hope nobody heard my fart

*jumps out of window*

You should be glad human resources was not around to hear you say that

-I smell gas! GAS LEAK!

who the fuck farted?

Here at Businesscorp Incorporated we take our careers very seriously and whoever perpetrated this haenous act will be found and punished accordingly. In the future, know that any detriment to the efficiency and professionalism of Businesscorp Incorporated will be swiftly ended.

Sincerely,

Ted from HR

sorry im late boss, alarm didnt go off

-jitterbug starts playing over the PA-

Does anyone want some coffee?

Ha-has anyone seen my mom?

I'll make a Starbucks run. Anyone want anything?

A new opening in the HR department just opened up, I'm gonna need you to start taking resumes immediately Jim.
Jim?
Has anyone seen Jim?

Somebody rape this child

Another one escaped! Security!!!

Jim past away last Friday, he had an accident.

Mr. Evergreen, that is completely against the code of conduct contact you signed when you began here 5 years ago. We will be opening a case and inspecting your history. In the mean time you will be suspended without pay.

Sincerely,

Ted from HR

Y'all a bunch of niggers I quit.

Don't ask why I was looking, but someone taped a key behind the urinal. Any ideas what it opens?

Yeah can you get me a Vente double mocha cappucino frappe with 3 shots of espresso and some caramel drizzle
also some cock to wash it down?

YOU CAN'T QUIT!
YOU'RE HIRED!

Again, fuck off out my sight

Hey guys I'm coming in Monday and burning this motherfucker down just so you know

>walks into the office with a loaded tec 9

Hey guys, who will attend the funeral of Jim this Wednesday afternoon?

Hey
Thats some nice stuff you got on your desk there
>Puts hand on desk
>slowly knocks everything off

...

huh
i don't know maybe it has something to do with this box i found above the ceiling tiles...
dubs to open it and see what's inside!!

Excuse me Johnson, we will not use the term "sand nigger" in this office. As you know we have a strict guidelines on reference to people of color. Please re read the employee handbook.

Sincerely,

Ted from HR

>BRRRAAAAAAAAAAP

Open it Steve!

Yo Tyrone, turn that nigger rap shit down when you come into the office, no one wants to hear your music

man im swampped with kids i gotta rape, have johnson take a look hes only raped 2 this week.

I want to die

Rolling for Dubbbz

I'm going to lunch, if the Toshiba guy shows up tell him all the print jobs are scratchy as fuck. If that crazy fat woman calls for me again, I'm out sick.

>chain smokes in mcdonalds parking lot for 45 minutes

That was extremely unprofessional Jessica. We take all reports of vandalism very seriously, since nothing was broken this will not go a step further. You're on unpaid leave until further notice.

Sincerely,

Ted from HR

I like you Johnson, don't come to work tomorrow.

Please refrain from using the term nigger. At the office we use, person of color. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Ted from HR

You guys...
Someone shat in the coffee.

Anyone noticed that Tom from HR smells so bad?

hey, did you get my email?

Cant stay overtime. I got stuff to do after work.

Hey Toshiba guy
we been waiting for you
yeah the prints are all good, pretty crisp
we will take another 1500
thanks have a good one

fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:

omg!!! this is so funny!

A loud fart erupts from the cube farm

ok...who's the idiot that reheated fish in the microwave???

hey guys check the memo i just sent out to the office
can i haz chezburger, lol so funny right?

Hi Ted see you tomorrow, (cough *cunt*)

>trims fingernails

uhm Jerry
why'd you send a picture of you in women's clothing to the entire office?

>gives retarded guy in office the candy bar

tyrone! stay the fuck out of the break room, this food isnt for niggers!

Tomorrow is my day off, but if you'd like, we can get lunch on Thursday

-Ted from HR

This is the single funniest, wittiest, cleverest thread I have ever encountered on Sup Forums.

Brethren and sistern, you get my Seal of Approval!

Yes, this is tech support.

Aha. aaha. Huh. Ahuh. Ah.

Have you tried switching it off and back on again?

No, I am not. Yes. No I mean. Yes ma'm. Of course ma'm. Just the off button. Yes, press it. No, on the, on the side. It should be on the side. Yes. The off button. Press it. Good. Ok, now switch it back on again. Yes, the same button. I assure you, it does both. Well, I don't like my tone either ma'm. No, he is not in the office ma'm. Well, until then, how about pressing the on button for me? Thank you ma'm. Aha. Uhuh. Mmm. Yup. Oh, it's working now? Anythign else I can help you with? No? Oh, that's kind. Fuckyoutoobye.

office work is how I became a /po/oper before /po/ existed, too much time doing nothing.
supervisor and lead forgot I was there charging to overhead for over a month.
hypersensitive ethnic minorities immediately filing reports on ANYTHING they are mildly annoyed by declaring it "racist".
fuck stuff stolen off my desk.
fuck dassault systemes.
fuck cubicles.
fuck 40-85.
fuck the largest building in the world.
fuck the crane dropping wings killing people.
and fuck boeing

BUHT MUH KIDS YO

HURHR HRHAR HAH DANDANE COOOK NAHSHE HEHHEHURHRHR

Guys look at the cool stapler I found!

Mocha frappe would be great

you're fired
get the fuck out before i call security

Pete, right? Some woman called for you, she sounded like she had problems catching breath.. sounded like an emergency, so I gave her your address and mobile number

Rolling