Theater Trashing General /TTG/

How did you make a mess at your theater today?

Stories/routines?

Other urls found in this thread:

phoenixnewtimes.com/best-of/2001/people-and-places/best-movie-theater-snacks-6465268
youtube.com/watch?v=FdX8YwtLilw
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

I often take a shit while watching the movie

Did this at Civil War where I dumped my popcorn in the seat in front of me

Clean that up ya bastards

>trying to force a meme this hard

>one of the gimp seats is open (basically padded toilet seats where the regular cinema seat should be, you're supposed to put a bucket the cinema gives you under it so literal retards can piss and shit while watching films, one is on each side all the way back in the nosebleed seats so they don't bother people)
>load up on snacks with my EBT card; popcorn, nachos, hotdogs, burgers, sodas, mini pizzas, Milk Duds, the works
>claim my comfy gimp seat
>"in with the new, out with the old" non-stop for the entire duration of the film, have half a mind to think I'm pissing and shitting beverages and food I ate earlier in the film
>film's over, get up to leave
>I forgot to get a bucket
>big mucousy turds running down an aisle turned into a slip-'n'-slide of piss and spilled soda (and a tiny little bit of blood, I don't get enough fiber)
>big box of plain nachos I didn't eat (because the meat and cheese was on the nachos on the top) falls out of my lap and spills all over the place
>try to catch it and accidentally knock the rest of my soda over
I'd hate to be the one who had to clean that up, they probably closed that theater for the rest of the day and lost thousands of dollars on canceled screenings.

Found the popcorn broom monkey.

Clean it up.

My cinema has poop scissors next to the toilet on a chain like pens at banks so you can't walk off with them I guess. I still don't use 'em though, not my job to cut up my logs to make the job easier on their weak ass low-flow toilets. Maybe they should use some of the money people spend on their overpriced popcorn/drinks on a plumbing upgrade.

bump

i always try to rip out a seat or two

do you have a job IRL?

Yup.

quit it. do something creative.

...poop scissors?

To me i don't dump my popcorn/soda all over the floor and stick chewing gum on the floor and seats because I'm a bad guy. I do it to help the workers at the theater build more character. Without me testing them they are liable to get lazy without having constant challenges at their work. If there is some unintended punishment for their poor academics/career decisions (because let's be honest, they probably weren't the top of their class if they're working there) then so be it. But that is not my intent.

This.
>what is job security?

Say there are 5 popcorn broom monkeys working at any given time at the theater. Each and every customer leaves the theater spotless and all of the trash makes it to the trashcan. All the gimp seat buckets are completely empty. The showers have no poop covering the drains while someone tried to step on it so it's halfway in the drain like a brown playdough toy. Do you think the manager isn't going to notice that he only needs maybe 2-3 popcorn broom monkies for the shift? Well guess what that's means? That means that 2-3 of them will be let go. Is that what you want?

These are only funny if they're true.

Yeah, show those minimum wage slaves whats up! You sure showed that theatre who's boss.

If your story is real, you're a disgusting subhuman piece of shit and should just kill yourself.

is this really a thing? shitting in theatres instead of just getting up to use the restroom?

The first time you posted like twelve of these threads one after the other it was kinda sad.

Now I genuinely think you need them to feel validated. I really feel sorry for you.

Your life.

Clean it up.

I sneak in my own snacks as well as trash to leave on the floor

Get a gumdrop, or sour patch kid, or any chewy or gummy candy, and just suck on it. Eventually it will partially melt into a blob of gelatin in the heat of your mouth and your spit. Now spit it out into your hand. You now have a few options. You can mash it into a seat, fling it into the audience, or my favorite, right at the screen. Provided you get some power with the throw, whatever this lump of shit hits it is going to stick to, and never come off.

MFW EATING MCDONALDS BURGERS AND LEAVING TOMATO SLICES AND SHIT ALL OVER FOR THE 3D JANNY

I don't eat anything because I'm not a fat slob, I watch the movie without the distraction of eating, I sit through it all without having to use the restroom because I'm not drinking a gallon soda, and any trash I do happen to have I take with me and throw away on the way out.

...

>Le ebin forced maymay XDDD
Now the shut in who has left the house in years will start posting his alpha stories

...

*turns full large popcorn upside down*
Oh whoops, clumsy me. Guess I better go get another free refill.
*smirks*

/thread
Seriously, some people can't stop eating for 90 fucking minutes.

Found the skelly.

No cinema gives free refills on popcorn. You really don't ever leave the house do you?

>30 posts/15 ips
Op has been replying to every post ITT. It must be hard being that pathetic, also that pic is old.

the most kekworthy stuff was one of my friends who used to cum all over the curtains on the side of the cinema if he got a handjob from his gf when we were teenagers

>without having to use the restroom
anyone who can't hold in a shit for two hours (assuming you wouldn't have gone before the movie) should kill themselves

I have pissed into the cushions so they absorb my pee, that way I don't miss the movie.

Obviously I don't sit in the seat I piss on

I don't leave any food or trash behind, but I pick my nose bloody and wipe the boogers over the arm rests and on the seat's headrest.

Been doing this since I was a kid and still haven't been caught.

*slow claps*
*steps out of the shadows*
Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material...
But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme.
And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :^). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive.
See you on the boards...

some tards got involved, so I decked them.

Mine does. Only for large though.

Bullshit.

The movie in the theater was targeted at the urban market wasn't it?

No for real. In high school we used to just drive by and get them to fill it up. In U.S.

More bullshit.

Guess it's summer on Sup Forums

The one in my hometown always did and most of the ones that I go to here in LA do. I kind of always thought all theaters did it. Maybe it's just an american thing?

Idk about the movies but I purposely piss on the floor, walls, and toilet paper in the bathroom. I want the next person to stand in piss. If the plan to sit down they'll grab the soaked toilet paper to wipe of the toilet

K. AMC and Regal does it. Try leaving your parent's basement sometime. It's a big world out there.

Its a bullshit thing.
No cinema is going to actively encourage the fat and the greedy to get up midway through a film to get more popcorn for free on an unlimited basis.

Made a bit of a mess.

How much do you think it costs to make popcorn my naive summerfriend?

>AMC
>Regal
Literally who.

It costs sweet fuck all of course WHICH IS WHY THEY CHARGE SO FUXKING MUCH

Giving it away cuts into their bottom line.

harkins nigger
phoenixnewtimes.com/best-of/2001/people-and-places/best-movie-theater-snacks-6465268

Children should be illegal

>go to the local cinema
>ask for a large popcorn
>go into the theatre, dump out the popcorn on the floor
>go back to the butter filling station
>fill up the tub with butter
>go back to the theatre and dump it all over the seats

I do this at every marvel movie release.

Insanity.

Maybe it IS an American thing...

You confirmed it. Definitely an american thing.

> Johnny Hammersticks

Every fucking time

They charge like 8 bucks for a large popcorn. It's one of the cheapest snacks to produce. They use the free refill to convince the fatties to go with that and not feel like they've wasted money. Every major movie theater in America has done this for years.

A few years ago when I went to see The Lego Movie I went with 3 girls and I got really sick. So I told them some silly excuse that I had to move seats, and I went to an empty aisle and puked the most I've ever puked all over the floor and seat. Went back to my seat, and haven't thought about it again until right now.

Not any of those other posters, but yea, theaters around where I live absolutely do free refills on large sized popcorn

I understand greed, but surely that just causes noise and hassle. Its like the crab legs meme, its a joke at how absurd serving such a noisy snack would be. Yet this encourages patrons to stand up and leave midway through a showing. Its fucking counter productive to the cinema experience.

Not that guy, but mine does too. Popcorn is a cheap expense. If it gets more people to pay 7-8 bucks for a large as opposed to nothing they're still making money

See Your country baffles me.

Yeah, sure, making money, but that doesn't alter the issue of the people getting up midway to jiggle their voluminous ass to the concessions stand to get more butter soaked corn.

Doesn't it get annoying having people leave for that reason?

>People complain about how shitty theaters are
>Constantly vandalize them.

I know I'm probably falling for the hot new meme, but I really hope none of you guys actually do this. It seems incredibly childish.

I'm glad my local theater seems to really put in a lot of effort into keeping it nice. I can't imagine what they put up with from all the jiggaboos down here who do shit like in this thread.

>popcorn broom monkey's face after the movie when the lights come on

Or if you are one of the gut beasts that get a refill, aren't you ever missing the fucking film just to get more snack as you stand in line for more?

People like this should be put down.

Everyone who works at my theater, including me, are college graduates. Job market is fucked beyond belief in my city.

If you were at the cinema alone and had to piss, would you do it while watching the movie?

If I was in a gimp seat. Not trying to miss any part of the movie.

*pours cherry icee in between seats*
Oh sorry friend. Might wanna clean that up. Guess I'll go get another free one or I'm telling the manager you took it from me.
*smirks*

Sometimes you really can't contain the explosive diarrhea.

You should probably move

>complimentary pair of crab legs day for 4+ parties
>invite my crush, her bf, and my sister to watch Marvel's Captain America: Civil War©
>sis is driving us, I'm in shotgun, they're in the back
>trying my hardest to ignore they're constant giggling and kissing noises
>overhear them whisper my name
>fuming when we're getting food
>order an XXL popcorn and double size bag of falcon chow (didn't even bring my falcon)
>both girls are fawning over Evans and the black dude and how hot they are
>by the time credits roll they immediately get up not waiting for the after credit scene
>absolutely lose star screaming calling them whores and how he is just a piece of shit scumbag whose only using her to make me mad
>throwing all the unpopped corn kernals and empty shells everywhere
>their trying to calm me down chad comes close to me and I swing at him
>he gets pissed and says I need to calm down now like he's my dad or something
>tell him ing going to kick his ass and take my rightful place by tiff's side and swing
>wake up outside the theater nose is throbbing and lips are coated in blood
>there's a note pinned to my shirt saying how my sister drove them home and they don't want to ever contact them again
>I also have a lifetime ban from all the property damage caused by the popcorn, shell bits, feed, and blood over the floor and seat
>cry as I walk home
FUCK YOU OP YOU JUST REMINDED OF THAT HURTFUL NIGHT I HOPE YOU GET FUCKING HIT BY A TRUCK AND LIVE AND HAVE TO USE A FEEDING TUBE FOR THE REAL OF YOUR LIFE!!!

>Not asking the theather staff qt chubby to drink your pee
She gets like $10 per hour, I would offer her $20 and she will do the job

I snuck in a bunch of McD's when I went to see The Secret Life of Pets. I accidentally dumped my first large fries after only eating one of them, didn't really make any more mess until after the movie was over and I forgot that I had my emergency ketchup on the floor next to my feet and I stepped on it on my way out, so I left ketchup footprints pretty much all the way out of the theater.

based Harkins

I was a popcorn broom monkey for 5 years while I was going through college. I really didn't give any shits about how dirty the theater was. When it was wasn't dirty at all, I would just be like "cool" and clean for 5 minutes then go work the concession stand or whatever else I needed to do. If it was super bad, I would just be like "cool" and I would clean for 15 minutes and then go work the concession stand or whatever I needed to do.

I never understood the guys that would be upset, my way of thinking was I'm here 5-7 hours regardless of if i'm cleaning the showroom, cleaning the lobby, or serving up some popcorn and drinks. And when it's the last film of the night, what's the difference in getting of at 11:50 or 12:10, i'm just going to bed when i get home anyway.

Actually have a job interview for a janitor. Hopefully that shit pays well.

That user was working for at planned parenthood as a heads up.

Job would be for offices for me, so it hopefully won't be too bad.

>janitor
>pays well

ones i know of seem to work for free.

CLEAN IT.

It really depends man. I've seen janitor jobs pay as low as minimum wage and as high as $20.

lol you guys ever do this?

>go to movie theater
>get irrationally upset seeing movie goers enjoying their lives
>go up to snack stand
>slap the fucker across the face full force for having the nerve to do his job demand a free popcorn
>Climb up top the counter and kick him in the dick when he just stands there in shock
>push aside his coworkers and grab all the popcorn and start throwing it at the movie goers
>fly into a rage and fling nacho cheese at everyone in sight scalding all the movie goers
>take off my clothes and start sticking milk duds up my rectum
>shit it out on the nearest child
>manager is out in full force saying he already dialed the cops
>make a PHWEEEEEEEEEE noise and crack him over the head with the candy rack
>saw that his daughter is there with her
>rape her in front of him and slit her throat
>stomp his fucking head in and set the building on fire
>see pigs roll up as I start throwing milk dud shit at them
>steal a cop car and drive into the front entrance
>grab a popcorn bucket and put it on my head as I dive head first into the butter stand and shit out more milk duds as I pass out

I hate movies

CLEAN IT THEATERBITCH

you aren't funny

Edgy

i laughed...

Literally destroyed.

I have done this.

youtube.com/watch?v=FdX8YwtLilw

CRANK THAT DRUID BOY CRANK THAT DRUID BOY CRANK THAT DRUID BOY CRANK THAT DRUID BOY CRANK THAT DRUID BOY CRANK THAT DRUID BOY CRANK THAT DRUID BOY CRANK THAT DRUID BOY CRANK THAT DRUID BOY CRANK THAT DRUID BOY CRANK THAT DRUID BOY CRANK THAT DRUID BOY CRANK THAT DRUID BOY CRANK THAT DRUID BOY

>snuck a couple 32 oz brewski into the theater
>no longer wanted them so I slowly pour them down on the floor in front of me
>the entire concrete floor cascades down except for a strip of carpet across the theater by the entrances so the beer went all the way to the carpet
>starting to smell by the end of the movie
>carpet is squishy when we leave

When I go to the movies I pick up twice as much trash as I produce

boomkino. blizz should take some notes

t. tip fag

CLEAN IT

CLEAN IT YOU LITTLE PIGLET

CLEAN IT YOU FILTHY LITTLE BEAST OR I WILL CUT IT OFF

c l e a n

i t

u p