Only truly miserable and hopeless cunts may post in this thread. Post feels, stories, whatever, just get in here...

Only truly miserable and hopeless cunts may post in this thread. Post feels, stories, whatever, just get in here. Soberfags need not apply.

Noah?

No I'm not Noah.

Bump.

...

Been unemployed for over 10 years. Alcoholic. Failed jazz musician. Eternal bachelor. Middle aged and liver problems. Am I qualified?

What in the shit hell is this

Yes friend. This is a thread for weary souls.

Nice. I'm basically a bleedin gums murphy of sorts.

How do you make it as a middle aged guy without having worked in ten years? I'm not sure whether that's a dismal failure or a resounding success.

I've been on welfare and had the some odd gigs here and there. Mostly just the dole that's kept me a float though. Thinking of claiming insanity at this point to get more gubment money and retire. Fuck it. Mentally incapable of holding down a job at this point anyway and my liver's dying.

I'm really sorry about your liver, man, that sucks. Do you have cirrhosis? How much welfare money do you get and where do you live? My city is expensive as balls but I'm still curious to know if I could get on neetbux.

I'm in Toronto and managed to get a ridiculously cheap apartment in a decent area. My liver may actually recover. Still got to get a second CT scan on it. Hopefully it's just run of the mill alcoholic liver syndrome or whatever it is they call it. The thing is I'd have to stop drinking and eating junk for it to survive if that's the case and that will be a lot easier said than done.

I hear you man, best of luck to you. Also Toronto, damn, that's supposed to be expensive as shit, but I'm sure Canada has better neetbux than burgerland. I'm in Seattle, no idea what the dole is like here but we have a lot of homeless so that might suggest it's not that great.

bump

How old are you abouts if you don't mind me asking?

Also, 32, overweight drink neet here

Sorry for the disorganized thinking

I have a wife and an 18 month old daughter. I feel suicidal and depressed most of the time. I am employed as a firefighter/paramedic and I think a lot of this shit comes from the nature of my work but I can't quit or cut back on my hours at all. It seems like every day I am on the brink of being overwhelmed but I have to grin and bear it because I have to take care of my family. How do I deal with the constant trauma and death? How do I keep going when I can't sleep at night because I see that dead child and smell that burning skin? How can I forget the hysterics of a wife as I inform her that her husband is dead? I am always drunk and distant and I feel like my family doesn't even recognize me half the time. What fucking do Sup Forums?

Shit. I'm almost mid 30s. I make 15 bucks an hour and live with my parents. I am an alcoholic for certain. Possible and even likely social issues. Good chance I'll kill myself after my parents die. Only claims to fame I have are not lossless virgin, but it has been more than a year since I slept with anyone besides me.

Honestly if I can get on ODSP (ontario disability) I can pretty much retire comfortably. At this point I don't give a shit where as I used to be embarrassed about the idea. Yeah I've made a lot of wrong turns but I did get really good at my music and maybe it was a dumb thing to chose as a career but I gave at a good go and here's where it got me. And it's true that at this point I couldn't hold down a regular job. Practicing constantly and doing shitty gigs on and off has left me with messed up hours and either bi polar or sever depression or something. What with that and my health problems now I'd say claiming disability as at least semi legit.

>get along alright, spend lots of time on Discord with friends and playing vidya or reading stuff
>pretty much do what I've always done: talk/joke around with friends, lots of escapism, and the minimal amount of work/course work to get by without my parents getting on me
>most of the time I can function just fine, shower, shave, eat, drink lots of coffee, go to class
Which leads me to think I'm not actually depressed since I've always been like that, but now
>suicide is always either on my mind or waiting just off to the sides to resurface
>have no hope for the future
>hate myself
>feel like a burden
>Been having urges to hurt myself. Started being edgy and cutting up my thighs, depriving myself of sleep, want to start smoking even though it's always disgusted me
Wew lad

Also by the way, 36m here, actually don't drink terribly much anymore. Replaced that with a kratom addiction. I have an okay job but I fucking hate it and I kinda want to die.

I'm 43. I look surprisingly younger though all things considered. I mean I should look like that pic of bukowski that OP posted.

this

You are men. You are night watch of the wall. I am happy that there men like you alive.

Life is a catch 22. I think about where my stupid bohemian lifestyle has got me and wish I'd have just got a decent career or trade at a young age and settled down with someone. Then again what if I hated that job and my wife turned out to be an insufferable cunt? You just never know really, it's a crap shoot but I guess you can at least try to just take the good with the bad. I know I can google it but what is kratom?

Thanks bud. It's nice to hear that from someone right now. I don't know what to do.

>somecunt.jpg

Bukowski would approve.

Yeah if you'd gone that route you might have ended up like me, and that's pretty unenviable, trust me. I'm divorced, and honestly my ex is a pretty cool gal, but she became an insufferable cunt when I was married and living with her. A friend of mine from work just quit and is taking what money he has to Vietnam without any specific plans, it's just dirt cheap and someplace far away. I'm kinda envious of him but his balls are way bigger than mine.

Kratom is an herb that has sort of opiate-like effects. It's fairly mild, but has been used by a lot of people to quit drinking. I used to be a raging alcoholic. I still drink sometimes but the kratom really mellows the addiction. It's kind of interesting. If I don't take the kratom, however, I can't sleep, I get horrible restless legs, and anxiety, so...another catch 22 for ya.

I wrote a poem for you guys in the spirit of pic related

Hope you like it you miserable faggots

It's 1:29 in the morning
I'm drunk in my recliner
The television is still on because I've not had enough
To make my own company tolerable

Maybe I ought to swerve my shiny new car
through the snow up to the 7-11
But I'm feeling heavy in my chair
And besides, the cashier will see my dick
through my sweatpants
And besides, they are closing soon

Then again, I'd sure like one more
Just to slip my head out of the vise a bit longer.

Sorry to hear that man. It reminds me of what I was saying in another post how you just don't know how things will really turn out in life. Alcoholic bohemian jazz musician bum here who wishes I'd just got a decent and honourable job like yours when I was younger (middle aged now) but I guess any set of circumstances can get us down in the dumps. I have no easy answers for you but I completely sympathize. Especially with the drinking. I want to stop that so badly and I think it should be easy but for some reason it's like pulling teeth. Life's not easy.

Jesus man I should have known about Kratom then. I mean if it's opiate like what better drug for a washed up jazzman! I'm gonna try that and thanks for the tip. On the vietnam thing I have pipe dreams like that all the time. I actually hate the thought of being stuck in Toronto for the rest of my life but it's hard to see a way out at this point without starving to death.

I'm not totally certain but I would guess kratom is probably legal in Canada. It's not federally regulated here in burgerland, but several states have outlawed it.

www.socalherbalremedies.com search for "speciosa" in the products section.

My parents were poor, they worked hard as fuck and faced some monumental challenges and I can't even get through an undergrad or stay out of trouble with the cops. Wtf is wrong with me.

I could probably order it online anyway. I did that with coca leaf before without any trouble. If the mail got checked I'd just plead stupidity.

722702811

Find something constructive that doesn't revolve around your awful job. You do this shit for 8-12 hours a day, you want to take it home with you and relive it?

I don't have time to focus on much else. I don't try to dwell on it but it follows me I guess.

Oh wow, I had no idea you could get coca leaf in the mail. How is that? I used to love cocaine but I'm sure the leaf is much milder. Still possibly up my alley, though.

Nice I will definitely look into that. I've actually been trying to get on with recording an album and the booze is getting the better of me with it so a replacement might go a long way.

>www.socalherbalremedies.com
It actually really helped me with depression and got me more productive and focused. Like mild cocaine without the horrible comedown. I went through a coke phase and it was brutal. I just want to kill my self when I come off it.

Yeah dude, I feel you on the comedown. I would ALWAYS drink with it, and preferably have some benzos on hand to take at the end. That really cuts the edge off the comedown. Be careful with alcohol and benzos, of course, but if you're a serious alcoholic you'll be a lot more resilient to alcohol-related combo effects.

Yeah I only ever did that while drinking. It's rampant particularly in the older blues and jazz scene in Toronto which is one of the reasons I got apprehensive with gigging. So many occupational hazards. I knew this one old blues singer who would always say "I left you a bump in the bathroom." Holy shit you call that a bump? Huge honking line.

>Be me in high school, 3 years ago
>Be complete autistic faggot
>Be dirt poor
>Some asshole said he would give me $10 if I asked out every girl in the class
>Do it because I needed money
>Get rejected by everyone... Except this one girl
>"Sure, user, I'd love to go out with you."
>mfw
>Honestly didn't expect anyone to say yes
>Too poor to actually take her out
>Apologize and say no
>I have never seen someone look that dejected before
>Go to asshole to get my money
>Refuses
>Mfw I could have went out with her
>Mfw I didn't get any money for growing a pair
>Mfw 3 years later, I am a kissless virgin, and she hates me more than anything.
>Pic related, her senior pic

bump

Sorry

I'm really bad with girls too

My wife told me she was fucking some other guys this morning. I'm fucked up over it. We have a 2 year old together and have been married for almost 10 years. I'm drunk and feeling low right now. She had no remorse and said she wasn't going to stop. I don't know what to do.

Kill her.

Fuck off Reese

Fucking hell what a cunt. Sorry to hear that man. Did you have any clue that this was going on or was it totally out of the blue?

leave her with the child, start over. do stuff for you user, fuck that bitch. get her to admit it again, secretly record it, then file for divorce, skip town.

I'm drunk and Sup Forums is my only frenimie.

is that bukowski?

Beat her within an inch of life. Frame her for something and get custody. She doesn't deserve you or the kid.

Yup.

yes. you are in good company. 36 year old former heroin addict, current alcoholic here. only two relationships i ever had were with girls of 13 and 16 years old when i was in my 20s. went to 4 colleges and couldnt complete a degree. just got out of alcohol detox and already back in the grip. sipping beers now to avoid withdrawals. super

You sound just like Paul the Britbong Paedo. He failed life.

Thanks user will do

It seams impossible to stop although I almost drank tonight only managed to steer clear somehow. Trying like hell to crawl out of it. It got worse after my ex dumped me and ran off right away with another man she was likely cheating on me with. Things took an even darker turn since then.

Call me a normie newfag but I have no idea who that is.

Jesus man. That sucks. Find a divorce lawyer (don't tell your wife your leaving her). Gather evidence... Then destroy her every which way (and get full custody of your kids). Sorry man.....

The only reason I'm sober is that booze doesn't help.

i have absolutely nothing of value to offer you about alcoholism. well maybe. if you can stick to beer you wont get hooked enough to getting cold sweats and shit like that. proud of you for abstaining tonight.

Yea she went to this dudes house the other day for something work related and didn't come home until 3 am and I got pissed and she gave me this huge speech about how I need to trust her and how she's completely faithful, etc. I told her if she fucked someone else that our relationship would be over. I fucking warned her not to do it, then 3 days later she does it anyways. Then comes home at 5 am this morning and says she fucked him and is going to continue to do so.

It doesn't help me either but I still can't stop for some reason. Well the first few drinks do then it quickly descends into the same old blotto hell.

similar thing happened to me. its gonna be suffering for a while, but you will getthru it, somehow I did..

I love my son very much and don't want to leave him. He is much closer to me. I spend way more time with him. I am the primary parent.

That's just fucked up beyond words. You married a psychopath. All you can do is get rid of her as soon as possible. Hope you don't descend too far into alcoholism although I wouldn't blame you either.

Don't kill yourself man. If you can't stop, get help. Live. Life may be crap, but at least it's there. At least you can change things sometimes. If you're dead, you can't change shit.

Alright man.. drink away.. but your morning is going to be busy... You have to face this.. The marriage is over. For the love of god... get your affairs in order.. The next week will be the most important of your life (as it will reflect whether or not you get the kids).

Yeah I'm trying. Stayed sober tonight and had a nice conversation with an online friend who encouraged me to try to sober up and finish my album. I really hope I can do it. Got a three month plan on the go but I should probably go to an AA meeting if things get too much to handle.

Thanks. The whole kid aspect complicates it for me. I can't stand the thought of not having my son. My folks divorced young and it fucked me up. I don't want to put him through that. He deserves better.

I don't even know where to begin. I'm totally shocked by all this.

I thought of that too. It's fucked up that women like that would even stand a chance at getting custody.

Yep you will be as would anyone. What she did is pure evil and she has no soul. It's true though it's do or die time now. The next week stay sober if you can and get the divorce and everything on the go.

No

Go anyways. An extra support system can't hurt. Saves lives. I hope you can do it, but don't be ashamed if you slip u. Just pick yourself up, and start again.

>I don't know what to do.

Give me her kik

There's not much choice when it comes to your children. Just love the shit out of them and make them know it. They'll grow up well adjusted. However, you still have to protect yourself. If it's any consolation, complete strangers feel for you faggot.

Yeah you're right. And especially seeing as the only social life I have is drinking with local barflies.

...

oh.. and find a constructive hobby that isn't getting fucked up. Take up tennis or volunteer at a soup kitchen feeding retards or some shit. Your mind will think of nothing but this for at least a few months. Distract yourself nigga.

Just remember, as bad as it gets, there's always tomorrow, for better or worse.

Hello. I voted for Hillary Clinton.

Clinton should have won.
Fuck all you brainwashed faggots.

Thanks man. Right now I'm just really glad I didn't drink tonight.

Thanks anons. I needed this. I don't feel like I have anyone else right now. I wish meme magic could help me out here. I work for a family of lawyers funny enough. I don't feel like any of this was very smart on her part. I've gotta start gathering evidence.

27, alcoholic by any reasonable measure, penis is officially for show only by this point, 4 months out of the parents house and hoping I don't get fired from my current job (took over a year to get it). I'll live under a goddamn bridge before I move back in though. Oh, and no car as of this week. Public transport means an hour and a half commute, one way.

The worst part is seeing people younger than me doing shit that I always told myself I was going to do. I guess that's growing up.

He's a living meme in the UK. He claimed to be an user paedohunter when the pigs searched his phone and found kiddie images. Said he needed the images for bait. Kek.

Lol thanks kek
Self checking my own dubs

Reminds me of Pete Townsend saying it was for "research."

Kek'shalla

what's her justification? how the fuck can she just say that she's gonna keep on doing it?

maybe you should start recording her, get a phone or some shit, it may be used in court in your favour.

She's a blue haired sjw. A relic from a previous time in my life before I got redpilled. She said she was taking control of her own sex life. I feel like as I got closer to 30 and grew up and matured, she stayed the same.

while not having ever ready anything by bukowski, i know that i need to. his quote "find what you like and let it kill you" is me

to speculate, i think god has a special place for such strong people

for real, think of yourself as a motherfucking hero.

we need people like you more then we ever will know.

Also, your wife is only human, she probably has no idea what you are going through, try to communicate with her about it. if you are bad with words, write down your feeling and give it to her.

she will understand and try to be more supportive. which helps alot.

Kek'shalla to you my brother

Just had an argument with my mother yesterday, i love her, i do, she raised me (sort of after all), but she hates men (especially my dad), and blames everything she fucked up in her life on them. I always thought she'd be over victimizing herself by 48, but no. So i've been raised to think as a man, i'll either have to center my life around a woman and ignore my own needs, or die alone cause i'll only cause pain otherwise. I'm trying to counter this, but she literally can't stop talking shit about men in general, so i've asked her if she really thinks she didn't fuck up anything ever in her relationships (she's about to jump in her third marriage, but have had countless affairs during the years), and as usual, she went "Oh it's all my fault then" as usual, and wouldn't talk to me.

As much as this bothers me, this isn't why i feel miserable.
So i'm 22 and i've only had one (9 month) relationship, the last 3 months of that were pure terror, the girl was also a self-centered psycho, who tried to control and isolate me from my friends and generally everyone but herself.
I've ended it over 2 months ago, but my self-esteem is at an all time low.
She and my mother both said too many times that i'm a heartless monster, and while i know this isn't true, i'm questioning my every move.
Can't socialize, always on edge, feeling worthless. And most of all, can't get myself to flirt with any females, though i'm feeling lonely as fuck, since the 9 months of that concentration camp of a relationship made me lose a lot of contacts.
After 2 years, i'm having suicidal thoughts again.

I know it's stupid as fuck, but i don't know how to fix the damage done.

We are of different camps on what Kek's will in regards to trump is, I see.

No matter. Live your life, and live it well.

Lord thundering Jesus that explains it all. Get the fuck out and even though the family court system is stacked against men try to get custody of your kid.

Same to you brother. We will see what kek's will is soon enough

yeah, forgot to proofread, don't judge

Similar story here. I'm 27 years old.

6 years marriage, 3 years old girl. She slept with another Guy and left me. Took my daughter. I Lost my job due to depression and anxiety (tattoo artist, my hands won't stop to shake).
Bankrupt. had to seek home with my grandma, since I had no other option. She took me in, but I started to drink and slept on the streets several times. Tried suicide once, failed. Became more depressed after people point my selfish behavior towards my daughter. Didn't shower, didn't eat, didn't sleep. Lost every sexual interest. I had to deal with my ex several times including carry our furniture to her New apartment where she was intending to live with the piece of trash that stole her. Forgot to mention, she is 29 yo and he is 20.

Managed to come to Portugal with a promise of a New life, but when I arrived people turn their back. I have 10 days to get back to my country.

Life Lost any taste to me