AMA about Happy Ending parlors. Tips and tricks for finding, paying, getting what you want, and staying safe...

AMA about Happy Ending parlors. Tips and tricks for finding, paying, getting what you want, and staying safe. PSAs for newfag virgins and crusty hands alike.

how common are they? how much money for how much happy ending?

OP here. Basics for anyone:
1: online adds are your friend. Check out craigslist, a sexy service, and rubmaps to get a decent idea of what is in your area. Don't take anything as absolute truth tho.

2: Know what you will spend. A massage will run you 50-60 bucks, add 40 if the massage and resolution were good, 20-30 and don't come back if the massage or ending weren't good

3: Finding our if there are extras. Biggest tip-off that there are extras is to hang your arms down to the sides of the table when you are face down. Legit places will avoid your hands, Extra places will park themselves right next to you and gently rub your hand with their calf. Respond, and the game is afoot.

See previous, but will depend in your area. Rule of thumb, more urban areas will get more stuff for your money, but the floor is about 50 bucks. ALSO, if the place has a free table shower, DO IT. It is awesome. more value, and very pleasurable.

avoid your hands? why

Legit places are aware that people will try to cop feels if they aren't careful, so they avoid any wandering hands. Push it, and you are liable to get kicked out or have the cops called on you. Extra places (usually) have no objections about having their legs/butt felt up, usually more. It's like a "We both know whats happening now" test so that they don't give a HJ to some random who doesn't know what he stumbled into. Keeps a lower profile for customer and business.

Legit masseuse doesn't want you pawing her like some filthy animal. Happy ending place with extras... sure, for a bit of an upsell price.

my dubs, so if they avoid hands its a no go, but if they brush your hand its good?

...usually. Of course thy may have just brushed your hand, so go slow initially. Try to keep it small, but deniable. If she does nothing to keep your hands away from you, signs are good. HOWEVER, don't act entitled to anything. Friendly and polite goes a long way, especially if you repeat the same place/masseuse.

Is it worth it? 100 bucks for a massage and a handy seems steep.

If its a decent place, it isn't just a massage with a handy tacked on, its a truly erotic massage. Tease, touching, etc. Plus, its cheaper than a strip club, and you get your rocks off. Still more expensive than sitting at home jerking off, but definitely more fun for me. It is worth the experience, even if you never do it again.

100 bucks is barely more than lunch, dammit. Cheaper than most escorts, disease free, and you get a massage to boot. Not really all that bad. But if you eat at McD's and are counting your pennies, then I suppose it's too steep. Just jerk yourself off and save the money.

Sounds pretty good, at least as a "try it once" thing. Any tips on how to differentiate between a nice place and some "massage and a handy" place?

Extra places are ALMOST ALWAYS ASIANS. This may very depending on your area, but Asians are a constant presence. Look for places that advertise on the websites I mentioned. If they offer a table shower, that is a very good chance. Their adds usually have young Asian models in them, with some variation of "Asian massage/spa" as their name, and an "Engrish" wording in them. Usually in strip malls or small single buildings. They try to keep a low profile. If they do "legit" things like have you put down personal info, fill out forms, or other similar things, its probably legit. Only cash will be changing hands at an extras place.

Also, if they have a towel, try arranging it for minimal coverage or leave it off altogether. However, if they say to gut under the towel, get under the towel! No sense pissing people off.

Canadian currently travelling Thailand, got several massages and the only one who touched my dick was a man. It was fucked up it was the first massage from a man I had and he was focusing a lot on my groin and occasionally brushed my cock I tried not to overthink it because I just thought he was comfortable working guy to guy and that it was normal in their culture. He was doing great work, so I assumed he just cut all the awkward gay thoughts out of his mind and just wanted to to a proper massage to the right spots.... but I was wrong. About half way though of totally inappropriate rubbing and me realizing that 80% of my massage was my thighs and groin he just grabs full hold of my dick and starts to pump, I grabbed his arm and pulled it off, sat up and got out of there so fast.

You silly goat. Most major cities (Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, etc) have legal, licensed body rub parlors where you can get a great erotic massage. What the hell you doin way over there getting a handy from a feller, eh?

LOL, first extra for me was in Cedar Rapids IA, mediocre but soon found a place with two really hot girls. Actually built a good relationship with them, got to 69 and eat them out. Good times, no need to go abroad for fun.

I've been travelling SEA since January first with my girlfriend, it's sp awesome over here. Was in Philippines for a month too. Told gf all about the old Chinese man she can't stop laughing.

Looking for full body NuRu type massages. Any suggestions where these can be found?

Will they still give a happy ending if you are ugly and out of shape?

>eating out a whore

You dumb motherfucker. Never go down on a whore. Didn't your father teach you anything?

Your money is in fine shape. Of course they will. I'm a fat middled aged motherfucker and have been doing this for years. (not OP, btw) Never been turned down for my looks. It's not a dating service for fucks sakes.

You might want to look for escorts or Canadian places that do this. Most Extra places I have been to want to keep an appearance of being legit to the outside world, and a nuru table would be a dead giveaway. Sorry I can't help too much, good luck!

Money talks, it will happen. Be polite, friendly, talk to them if they talk to you.

I knew the situation, the gal, and the rules. You never, NEVER penetrated at this place. Ironclad rule. A year later, and no HerpaSphylAIDS, so I think I was alright in going down on her. Plus, the return blowjob I got for free was quite nice. Better than any hooker's blowjob I have had.