How do you clean up after you fap?

How do you clean up after you fap?

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I don't need to clean up, I got someone who cleans up for me

i just dont fap

I have a sock next to my chair on the ground disguised as laundry but I use it everyday to clean up my mess and after that i just put it back on the floor. I use one sock for about a month until it's hard from dry sperm

With wipes like a sane human being.

Let it dry into my pubes then go in for a shower

I dont

i let my dog lick it off me

> fap on the floor
> let it dry
> like all two months mom throws a hizzy fit and cleans the floor under my table making me feel ashamed a bit
> that's how I do it
Just fuck off you disgusting normies.

...

i believe

ejaculate into hand, then wash hand

I have a heavy duty tissue or paper towel next to me and put it over cock when I come. Then flush it. Wash hands. No mess, no cleanup.

Flush toilet.

I let your mom clean it for me!

I dont, i do it like a sensible humanbeeing,
>Fap
>Put Napkin on belly
>When Climax press dick against Napkin
>Cum
>Pick up Napkin
>Flush it down the toilet
>Open Window to let fresh air in
>Cry and ask myself how i became such a failure
>Write suicide note
>Make noose
>Try to hang myself
>Slip out of noose
>Shit.jpg
>Call Suicide help hotline
>Turns out they refuse to help you with your suicide at all
>even trying to convince you not to do it
>Fuckthat.mp3
>Try again
>Fall with neck on desk
>Feel the pain ease, light comes
>Happyplace.bmp
>Awake you have been in a coma for 10 years
>paraleised from the neck down
>cant even whipe your own ass anymore
>mfw


at least thats how i jerk off

Same

jizz into hand
eat it

u normies

>uncut master race
>fap feels much better than cutfag's
>pinch foreskin second before cum
>majestic cum balloon
>empty load in toilet

why

In a sock

Why is that cum as white as glue?

use a tissue for whatever misses my mouth

omg i thought i was the only one

Me too its so hot

Really bad for your dick

This is the best answer.

one of the side effects of some medicine im taking is that I no longer ejaculate,
so I guess I dont have to.

I just cum in a tissue, wtf? isnt that like... the normal thing to do?

how?

Interesting question: I have started to prop my laptop on the bathroom sink, and I jerk off into the toilet. Give the old head a little wipe, flush it away, no fuss no muss.

I'll try this today lol

When I was young I used to nut on my stomach and then eat it. Whatever was left I just wiped on the sheets covering the other side of the bed. Now I'm slightly less of a degenerate so I use a towel from the laundry pile

I eat it. Literally no downside to it (unless someone catches me in the act which probably won't happen)
>Easy cleanup
>No trace
>Protein gains
>Potentially kill more people than Hitler
>Tastes good after pineapple

i jizz into kitchen towels and then throw them in the bin, toilet tissue or kleenex seems to dissolve on mah dick and make the mess worse but kitchen towels are perfect.

I have this old t shirt I've been cumming on since 2013

gaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!

steadyhealth.com/topics/is-preventing-ejaculation-dangerous

pics or it didn't happen

It can cause prostate problems and infections
Do not

I wank for a bit then when I want to cum I wrap a couple of baby wipes round my cock and jizz into them. Then fold up and dispose of, its a victimless crime

Checked. And I usually cum in my wife, but when I do jack, I'll usually do it in a dirty shirt and toss it in the laundry.

I like to jack off in the car on long trips. Nothing quite like an 80mph jizz. I try to shoot onto/into a napkin and use more napkins to clean up

Why do you fuckers use tissue? It sticks to your dick like goddamn super glue.

if you're uncut, how do you know faps feel for cut guys?

I'll usually jack on long trips too. I keep something around to cover up if there are others around, especially trucks. One time I wasn't paying attention and suddenly heard honking. Look over and a guy in a truck is waving and he winked at me.

>this kills the crab

same, every single word and article
sometimes i keep them for the next round(s) depends if i cum much

>logic

Mine recently became really fucking white like the picture. It weirds me out a bit. I don't think I've changed much, either. Eh, who knows.

When nofap 2 weeks

Changes back and forth for me

I never thought of this
I'm gotta try it tonight for sure

Tongue

Have you even jacked off while drifting

I don't. When I am about to cum I press down on my taint. The come goes in your bladder and you piss it out.

> use it everyday

Kek

cum on myself and get in the shower

every gotten an infection?

Never

I just bust into whatever pair of underwear I'm wearing at the time, drys in like 30 min to an hour, wash them the next day, I can't be the only one to do this

That's the only way to do it

cool. I've been afraid to try retrograde ejaculation because all of the medical websites say it's bad news.

>pinch foreskin
>majestic cum balloon

Little dick detected
Kek

Post pics user

tp, sniff cum on tp, throw in grocery bag/trash, browse for more porn, wash rinse repeat

I dunno, been doing it for 15 years with no issues. I have two kids so everything seems to still work.

works fine if ya still got skin down there

Anteater dick that's only appealing to gay guys lol master race

I'd kill myself If I was uncut lol. Literally watch any porn with attractive people. Cut dicks. Uncut looks retarded

this.
thought i was the only one in the world but it's the easiest way to dispose and i dont wanna get out of bed and wash my hands whilst attempting to sleep. cum gets dissolved with the acid in your stomach and you can get protein from it.

>I'd kill myself If I was uncut
you wouldn't just get cut? retard

I really can't believe she thinks thay she is black

Let him kill himself. He didn't think it through anyways.

wait until he realizes he was born uncut

I throw the sock in the hamper.

I think about it, but after I cum I lose interest, take off my sister's clothes, and feel ashamed.

Uh, they're cut because it's part historical and religious throwback and part to reduce sensitivity.
I've seen more than a few that weren't cut and they seemed to do just fine. If any woman actually freaks out over an uncut dick, they're a moron and should be avoided anyway. If you're a decent size and fuck them well, I guarantee you that they don't give a shit how it looks lol
>Enjoy your less sensitive and suspected small dick.

>Get weird fantasies while fapping about eating cum
>Cum on chest
>Lose all interest
>Clean with tissue
>Piss out window
That's my usual routine.

...

Aw shit, son. He gon be maaad.

>grab one of million empty pizza boxes in my room
>place under chair
>blow nut on pizza box
>put it back where it was when I grabbed it

I've used the same pizza box for about a month now, It's likely time to rotate to a new one honestly. Been doing it for years. Easy cleanup.

Throw out the corpse.

>majestic cum balloon
And congrats on not being a cutfag and enjoying a properly functioning, complete dick
highfive.msi

I do these, as well as just shooting my load into a potted houseplant that nobody looks at

I wipe it on your mothers curtains

I lean back when I'm about to finish and try to shoot hoops into my own mouth. Then I rub myself on the carpet like a dog.

That is a fair question, but at the same time, it's also a fairly obvious conclusion.
It's like forming a callus on your hand-over time it's desensitized. Cutfags will never know the extra pleasure.

If you really want to enjoy it, there are three easy ways get some hot fresh cum while you're still endlessly horny.

1. Milk the prostate. It's a great time and you'll have some fluids to east and play with.

2. Ruined orgasm. This takes practice and can be mildly frustrating, but yields far more cum than milking. The trick is to stop stimulation before orgasm, but after the spinal reflex fluid release. We're talking fraction of a second window. If done properly, you'll simply leak 50-80% load and still be chomping at the bit.

3. Involve other men. But that's gay, and you don't sound interested.

Been cumming on one towel for 2 years.

No pics, i believe you.

I wouldn't have said so, but neither was her dad and they didn't mind saying he was black lol
Meanwhile, I hadn't actually ever seen her before and it would seem I really want to make the sexy times in the butt with her....speaking of fapping, brb

I wish, that'd be tits. I've never seen it but I'm absolutely positive there's some japanese porn of it somewhere

Eat it

>2017
>still fapping

just go to /soc/ and get yourself a trap gf

fill that boipussy up whenever you're in the mood

Ejaculate directly into tissue then wrap my dick in a nice tissue cocoon.

Over time i have acumulated many soft t-shirts that I fap with. Nobody notices because a big pile of dirty shirts is just a big pile of dirty shirts.