Long time autist first time poster. Mum cleaned my room and found my home made wooden dildo...

long time autist first time poster. Mum cleaned my room and found my home made wooden dildo. She hasnt said anything to me but i know she saw it because it was in a different spot. How do i get out of this without coming off as a faggot

Pretty basic construction op, very little prostate stimulation.

Tell her you gave up MLP for hunting vampires.

Buy a real dildo. When she finds the real one she'll be relieved to know that this one is "not actually a dildo"

Topkek. What about splinter m8? Also if you took the time and initiative to whittle a fucking dildo, youre gay. So don't worry about her realizing youre gay, cause youre gay.

>wooden dildo
That sounds really painful. Imagine the splinters.

I wouldn't guess it was a dildo

Grow up. Clean your own God damn room. And while you're at it get a job and move out of home.

I read that as you found your mom's dildo

Then I realized it's your dildo and I thought you were a girl

Then I realized you're a dude... I need to stop drinking

Could easily pass as a really big pencil

dont worry drunkfag #2 here forfor keks

>fuck

she probably doesn't even know that it's a dildo.

why wood?

"Mom, have you seen my vampire stake?"

Kek

Top fucking kek

Is that a mother fucking table leg?

Tell her you were trying to make a carpenter pencil

Samefagging

Tell her it is the nose cone for a model rocket you are building (Which you now have to build)

How long have you been stupid?

Might pass

Tell her that you were making a few plumbs for shop class and forgot where you put it.

It works on two levels:
1.Woodworking is manly af!
2. You're actually making notches for your pleasure, homofag.

how much you makin on your stocks?

About 200-400 a day. I swing trade

nice

newbie here, i just got into stocks the other day. how often do you buy the dip

Its a part for some bullshit project your working on

>5 tabs open, all Sup Forums
>Friday night
>normalfag not detected

Very often. Morning dip 9:30 to 9:45 on a well studied stock is the way to go.

kek never claimed to be. Im an obtuse motherfucker

OP back to answer some questions. Its sanded to 800 grit so no splinters. I have real dildos but wanted somthing wider. One guy said is that a table leg. It was once lol. I said it was a home made exhaust plug for my dirt bike, pic related. I think she bought it. Maybe dildo never even crossed her mind because who the fuck has a wooden dildo

Once i buy a lathe i can add ribbing

you have one.

...

if dubs wooden dildo up pooper

>>Make three more and use them as legs for a tv dinner tray. Vola your off the hook

I dont think she will have thought it was a dildo
The fact youre male will make it even less likely she saw it as a dildo, she'll probably just think

>wonder what this is for

You may be a sexual degenerate who grew up in the internet but your mom isnt and didnt assume what you would

Make 4 of them and use them as legs for a tiny laptop table. Make them detachable to use them for their initial intended purpose.

then stuff all 4 up the pooper. take pictures.

Buy shitloads of books about vampires. Solved.

You thought about putting down a couple coats of varnish? Could be cheap insurance against splinters.

Tell her you're worried about vampires.

No.2 kek

>whittle a fucking dildo

my sides

Get a gf/get caught jerking it to straight porn.