Mom asked a guy from office to install dating app on her phone

>mom asked a guy from office to install dating app on her phone
>used my photo and data
>hooked up a girl and arranged a date
>blackmail me that she will not pay for my food and internet if I will not go

But I am afraid, mom showed me their chat, I can't communicate that easy in real life and be so funny and entertaining to a girl, and probably will keep silence all evening. Wat do?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=VKZx2u5LCTQ
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

You are being handed a GF, just take it

It's a win-win situation. If the date goes well you can keep seeing her and will have a gf. If you fuck it up your mum probably won't do it again.

Go meet the girl, tell her it's a misunderstanding and excuse yourself back home.

PWN'D

this literally can't be true

t. p_d_o j_w

MUM'D

Go to the date with the phone, open up a thread on Sup Forums and ask the people here live for advices
Can't get worse anyway

>parents set up date for you right away
>meanwhile my parents don't do anything like that for me and they just call me gay
Are YOU gay?

Threesome is the answer.

...

with his mum ?

Seems like she's good with girls.

Can I go instead?

Just pee yourself.

Take your mom on the date.

If everything goes well you might get lucky twice.

...

Is the girl at least pretty?

It's not that easy, my mother still has her contact in dating app and will ask is everything was good and if she wants to meet again. She gives me 5000 rub. ($85) so I can to restaurant and I plan to bribe a girl with 2500 rub. so she will tell my mom that everything was fine, but I'm "just not her type".

your mum sounds like a bit of a legend mate
whats her vk?

the most beautiful girl I ever went out with was actually a date that my grandma and her doctor arranged for me (the girl was the doctor's daughter)
i'll always remember how beautiful she was and how badly i fucked it all up

It's shitty that your mom stole your identity to use on a dating app but it's also kind of funny. Might as well go, nothing bad can happen. If you're nervous the best thing you can do is get tipsy (not drunk) before you meet up. Having a little buzz going will make you more comfortable and the conversation will flow a lot better.

Make sure you're not reeking of alcohol before you meet her though.

Story time? What happened?

Can't really tell, all her photos are bad quality.

damn pedojew

...

>tfw no mom to blackmail me into getting a gf

Reminder that you'll outlive your parents lads.

>It's shitty that your mom stole your identity to use on a dating app but it's also kind of funny
You know I can image that Americans did a TV show based on that idea. Is there a TV show like that?

My mom got my older brother, who has had like a 100 hundred girlfriends already, a cute girl. Who he now has kids with.

She never bothered with me.

Хyeвo чe ecли нe пиздишь. B peaльнocти тo ты oмeжкa фeминнaя нaвepнякa, нy или пpocтo ayтиcт, нe cмoжeшь зa пиздy cхвaтить cpaзy. Taк чтo cхoди, oнa пoймeт чтo ты дoдик и дoбaвит в блeклиcт и вce.

lel

oh straya

The overbearing, but well meaning mom that sets her kid up on blind dates character has been used a few times, though I can't remember in exactly what movie or tv show.

My brother is unironically a 10/10. I'm just above average. It's a bit cruel desu.

I had girls I liked ask me to say hi to my brother so many times. It's torture. And then my brother, who is a total bro, asks why I don't ask them out. WELL BECAUSE THEY JUST DECLARED THEY LIKE YOU. It's like having to stand next to brad pitt all the time.

But imagine a show in which moms arrange dates for basement dwellers. It could be so much fun. And someone from Sup Forums could finally become a star.

Actually, he's more like Tom Cruise.

She's good, go for it m8

Being like Tom Cruise is definitely not 10/10. Tom Cruise is a midget faggot...

Mom's are very good judges of character. Good mom's at least. It's tough with an app though. Chances are your mom has some key points that hit her standards with this bitch.

Mom's know best. Just go on the date and try to have a good time. Don't be a sperg. Talk normie.
I'm as weird as it gets, a bizzare human by all accounts. But I have no problem with women because when I get horny, or I like a girl I want to go on a date with I activate normie mode. Just ask her some very open ended questions. Broader the better. Smile, listen intensively, Enjoy your meal with her.

>"Hi female, small talk, small talk about restaurant, her dress, her hair etc."
>"So what do you like to do for fun?"
Then just shut up, make eye contact and look intrigued by whatever mundane thing she says.
Rinse and repeat, diving deeper into each thing she mentions. On a good date you shouldn't have to say much about yourself for some time before she realizes she's rambling. Then you can just insert a few things about yourself and then attack her again with a question.

Also don't be afraid to sound romantic in an interest. Bitches love that shit.

I mean what's your ultimate dream?
Mine is to travel the world, hopefully own a piece of land, build my own house and spend as much time reading, writing, working the land etc. And going to the beach. I can word that shit and use body language to make her think I'm this glorious man she's been missing out on for years.
Also try to go out dancing.

Sad story, lad, I have the same thing with my only friend. I can't really say how much of ten he is, but all girls from my town I had interaction with asked "are you friend of Slava? I have seen you together. Does he have a gf now? Could you give me his number or vk page?"

man you are a fucking indian, you call tom cruise a midget ? just lol

buy a mirror
oh wait you can't afford it kek

There have been many (reality) dating shows in the U.S. The nerds and basement dwellers, always perform exactly how you'd imagine them acting on a blind date.
The only saving grace is that it's usually just as embarrassing and awkward as watching a chad douche bag frat boy strike out by being overly macho.

Kek I'll watch some in the weekend. Some titles?

We actually had this not long ago, the show was called "who wants to marry my son?"

Afterwards, they released another show where children of single mothers set them up with potential boyfriends lel

I wonder how desperate a girl should be to participate in that show, even if it's made up shit.

Thanks, unitedstasianlad, sounds like a good piece of advice except dancing part. I never danced in my life, even at home alone.

kek we have this too
youtube.com/watch?v=VKZx2u5LCTQ
we even had a porn parody

>so much autism
Nigger you live in RUSSIA go get some puss

send her this
Пpивeт! Дaвaй cхoдим в мaкдoнaльдc. Кyплю нaм кapтoшкy и бypгep нa двoих. Я нe oчeнь бoгaт, нo ты дoплaтишь нeмнoгo ecли чтo вдpyг? Пoбoлтaeм, пoзнaкoмимcя. Hy тaк чтo?

There is another popular dating show now where moms aren't involved anymore, but you get all sorts of weirdos with different kinds of sexual deviancies.

My former flatmates were big fans of that show. I hope it was staged, too many of the guests were too retarded to justify democracy.

ffs..

У мeня былa идeя гoвopить вceм тянкaм c кoтopыми я знaкoмлюcь, чтo я бичapa бeз oбpaзoвaния, кoтopый paбoтaeт в мaкдaкe и живeт y мaмки нa шee, лoл. Ho пpoблeмa в тoм, чтo кpoмe кaк нa paбoтe я c бaбaми вooбщe нигдe нe взaимoдeйcтвyю, a тaм oни знaют, чтo я нe бич и нe ayтиcт.

y мeня вceгдa в oкpyжeнии мнoгo тянoк былo т. к. пpoфиль в шкoлe и вyз были гyмaнитapными, нo я ни paзy ни c кeм нe вcтpeчaлcя...

I can't believe this hasn't been observed yet, but

OP IS A FAGGOT

Я в шкoлe вcтpeчaлcя, чe-тo нe пoнpaвилocь. Ужe интcитyт зaкoнчил, a дo cих пop чтo-тo и нe хoчeтcя.

ok are you gay?
I get how you dislike a controlling mother and her pick in women, but that's dumb.

Do you realize that it is an international board and nobody can understand you? Please stop ruining quality threads, if you want to post in Russian go to /rus/ general.

We kinda flooded so it's not bad.

>russian mums arrange dates with slavic qt girls for their sons

jelly as fuck

>blackmail me that she will not pay for my food and internet if I will not go

No wonder you're a all NEET kissless, handholdless virgins. You actually tolerate being stepped on. By your own family of all things.

delete this

Beat your obnoxious cunt of a mother black and blue and tell her that if she interferes with your love life ever again you will put her a wheelchair.

Literally shut the fuck up, Chad. If you are able to talk to a girl, good for you, but there is no need to bully those who can't.