ITT: We share true things we've done that nobody would believe

ITT: We share true things we've done that nobody would believe.

>Took part in a 4 man gangbang with a washed up actress/musician.

Points to you if you guess who. Hint: Country AF.

Other urls found in this thread:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=xeYfX1gIha8
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

...

a cute clown girl gave me a hand job at the county fair.

I once won a free Nintendo DS plus Pokemon Black at Video Games Live.

Socially awkward gamer nerd got to go up on stage with Tommy Tallarico and graciously accept his gift.

Still get a little anxious when I think about it.

Garth Brooks?

became a shut-in in 2002 and havent made any friends since

I had a hot chick take interest in me. So stunned i forgot to tell her my name or number. She gave me her number and said to call her but i walked away and ended up 2 miles from my school and missed my class before i came back to reality.

Mfw that could have been my best chance ever for a hot gf

Naomi Judd

For about 4 months I dated and fucked a supermodel. Even took her virginity. Unfortunately, I don't even bother telling anyone because I know nobody would believe me. Fortunately, it happened and I can enjoy the memory.

just tell us who

i doubt anyone will find out who you are

Rita

got into Nintendo Power when I was 8 for getting the top 3rd highest score for Top Gun on the NES.

I killed a man with throwing knives.

i dated the president of a prison gang.

and then cheated on her with her mom.

I am deputy leader of a country. I'm currently researching Sup Forums because we may be passing a law that affects websites like this one.

Hi Mike, why don't you tweet?

What do you mean? If you had her number why didn't you call?

What law could affect Sup Forums?

Brittney Spears

A government block if the owners of the website fail to keep certain topics off their website. Topics such as drug use, suicide etc.

Got kicked out of prison for organizing the other inmates to fight for better conditions. Ran for public office (unsuccessfully). Hosted two different radio shows. Made the front page of every newspaper in the country. Was professionally published. Have a Wikipedia article about me. Smoke a pipe. Wear a fedora -- and look good in it.

I stole a penny from a tray at the gas station.

kek good luck

Pay them back, it's the only way to save your soul.

Nelson Mandela?

What good is that supposed to do?
Censorship never solved any legitimate problem.
And trying to recruit private citizens as (internet)police doesn't sound very sensible.

Btw. you can forget about such a law. Fuckbook e.g. doesn't respect any local laws.
They promote hatespeech but censor comics.

>I won an Xbox from taco bells "win it before you can buy it" promo
>I was the 4th highest ranked DK on the draka server for two years after wotlk came out
>I spent a year in Guatemala getting paid to clean hospitals and guard college kids

Nothing that fantastic. But I was pretty stoked about winning that xbox when I was a kid.

I know you, you're that Canadian who claims to be famous on threads you start, then you tell Sup Forums who you are and nobody gives a fuck

I've never claimed to be famous. The bar for Wikipedia notability is pretty low. And I'm more infamous than famous anyway.

i once punched a cab driver in the face as a teenager because i didn't have any money.
ran away afterwards and hid in the brush near my house for an hour.

cabs are expensive where i live.

faggot.

>supermodel
>virgin

i never had gf or sex

No one cares

You say that like it's a bad thing.

You must be new here

Sorry man you're not infamous, that implies people know who the fuck you are. No one ever does in the threads you make, sucks bro but few people get to be famous or "infamous". Hope you are able to unionize those panhandlers or street performers in Quebec or wherever the fuck you are bro

Dolly Parton?

I understand your concern but our country has seen a surge in drugs and suicide (among other things) in past years. Our party is looking at what we can do to reduce promotion and 'how to guides' of illicit actives.

everyone on here is a fag of some kind
drawfag
medfag
oldfag
newfag
that's species of Sup Forums

No such thing as a virgin supermodel.

They have to fuck in order to become supermodels

This is sounding familiar to me. More details or just give a name

Wisdom.

I masturbate in public. Have done so at the local park, at the beach, at the cemetery, at my uni in a classroom and in the library. Get a hankering to do so maybe once or twice a year.

you guessed it, user!

a winner is you

I was on the cover of every newspaper in the country last year and had some rather insulting editorials written about me. I think that qualifies as infamous.

Pic related: me.

Well you look like a right cunt

Lost it. Probably dropped it walking.

Im so ashamed.......

Thanks, I try.

Wouldn't it be better to try to reduce drug abuse and suicides?

Eh pic means nothing to me, probably not what/who I'm thinking of. Who reads the paper these days anyhow?

Shaman's Harvest

Yea man you're the Che Guevara of stretch performers. All I know is no one ever knows who you are in your threads

Once saw guy who was supposed to deliver my pizza shot in the head.

It was also christmas

Cringelord Supreme that fights for peoples ability to be useless pieces of societal trash has arrived. Reverse image search, found he was the organizer of a panhandlers union, eg the spokesmen for useless meatbags.

You definitely need that fedora. A SJW for the homeless.

So it was an all gay gangbang then.

You gotta be realistic though, anything to do with censoring the internet or trying to control content will not work. The most practical option would be to allow a how to suicide guide using illicit drugs, that way you can at least reduce and combine those two particular statistics. Baby steps man

Man that sucks.

Bet you were hungry what did you end up eating.

I have no idea what fucking threads you're talking about. I come here once every few months, get called a liar by cancerous white suburban teenyboppers when I mention anything about my life, and end up having to out myself.

If I'm pissing the slackjawed Trumplorables off, I must be doing something right.

had sex with both my wifes mother and younger sister

We already have laws to combat those but we are looking at other angles.

I managed to snatch the pizza before the cops arrived.

She seems to come from a great family.

We baked cookies and ate my.Christmas present (5 pounds of insanely sharp english white)

Dangerous shit you could have ended up being the suspected who did not want to pay for his pizza.

Kek, i wish i couldve done that user

Not a Trump supporter. I just have known enough homeless people to know that a fucking union for shitbags is laughable, as is your notoriety.

You'll end up OD'ing or just riding the fringe of society until the memory of you fades into the void where it belongs.

Suck on your phallic object and pretend like you're helping lazy fucks that wont lift themselves out of poverty.

I pilot drones and launch air strikes that kill people that aren't always the intended target.

"having to out myself"

flaunting a single wiki link to be like, oh they found out who i am again darn I really need these internet teens to like me better prove im google-able

US government?

>laws to combat those
kek
Combat the drug abusers/depressed people or the problems?
Let me guess, like the american "war on drugs"?

Seriously, why don't you try to help the people in need instead of trying to suppress information?

Concerning drugs you might learn from the netherlands or switzerland.

Concerning suicide you should try to install suicide hotlines, free healthcare...

I shat myself at my own wedding, and because of the countries smell, i was able to play it off that it wasnt me

people are taking drugs and killing themselves. any solutions? i have one! lets make them stop talking about it. if noone talks about it - there is no problem!

I (as a skinny 16 year old) took the head cheerleader away from the biggest black kid football player in our school. We were only together for 4 months but damn was it nice. She finally broke up with me because of my insecurities and I've only went downhill since.

Could have got yourself shot

I killed a cat when I was a kid then tried to give it CPR.
When that didn't work I threw it in the field so my dad wouldn't find it.

I killed someone when I was a kid on accident and never got caught.

>kill people that aren't always the intended target
That's a Trumphemism

How do you feel about killing (innocent) people for a living?

>Implying i dont wish for death everyday due to the pizza i lost that foggy Christmas eve

How'd you kill it? Did you get sick after attempting cpr?

>lift themselves out of poverty
Overprivileged suburban teenybopper detected. I am currently renovating an old building to act as a cultural centre to celebrate the hobo arts, where we offer free classes in traditional hobo skills such as busking, whittling, fortune telling, and making folk are from found materials. In other words, we teach people how to turn an income on the street. But then, you've never had to scratch to survive, so you have no appreciation for *actual* work.

Pic related: My current project, the Utah Phillips Centre for the Hobo Arts.

Wouldn't those be placed the other way? On the train tracks

The paycheck is big enough. I don't give a shit.

>i was able to play it off
Are you sure about that?
And why did you shit yourself? Out of fear?

>Hooked up with dove cameron in highschool twice

What did you do?

Don't blame it on the pizza.

You've just been visited by the salty hairy pedo sped of Sup Forums. Autism and lack of YouTube fame will come to you unless you comment "you're autistic and your videos are shit" on this video. There are no immunities.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=xeYfX1gIha8

Me and my friend prank called a random japanese number when we were smashed and became friends with the guy we called.

Lol I was rooting for you with that one dude saying he knew you. Dude you brag online about shit no one cares about, I've definitely seen one or 2 threads you've made about it. Also you don't out yourself you bring up details about your life at the drop of a hat (fedora) and feel some strange need to substantiate your claims to strangers on the Internet when no one cares

So obviously for you the virtualization of killing and shared responsibility for your deeds works.

You do realize people don't come here to do drugs and commit suicide right? They come to express their problems that they cannot say to other people and we encourage them to not off themselves. If they decide to do it we encourage it on webcam so we can call local authorities and give real time updates. By blocking Sup Forums you are literally making things worse without realizing it. You do realize we have saved a lot of peoples lives before right?

I'm really a normie.

We were climbing on this high ravine thing and I grabbed his shoulder to scare him, he lost his footing and fell far... I ran away and didn't even see if he was alive. I was 10 and he was a similar age. I just pretended I wasn't there. No one knows.

I've got a handjob from Donald J Trump when we was in military school

Hey Dave.

Check em

what are you doing here?

This was 15 years ago, and we had the wedding in india (wifes idea, she was a hippy broad) and we were there a week before the wedding to set up, and i caught a stomach parasite cause its fucking india. I had been shitting nonstop since day 2, and on the wedding day, i gambled on a fart and lost. I waddled over to the elephant we rented and stood there as it shat, pretending like i was waiting for a photographer to get a picture. People kept saying "johnny, you shouldnt have stood near that elephant you smell like shit" and i kept sayimg yeah i know, i know.

Then to cover up some more i "accidentally" fell into some standing water during the reception, so i had excuse to change

>You do realize we have saved a lot of peoples lives before right?
Which actually amazes me about Sup Forums!
(not the adressed user)

Obviously.
It's much different went you have thousands of miles between you, and you've got hundreds of government workers telling you how great of a job you're doing.
On top of that, I make commission on how many targets are eliminated. I think of it as a video game.