I am God. Ask me anything

I am God. Ask me anything.

Pic unrelated.

When are you gonna call me fag?

Hows your day sky daddy

Eh. Whenever I feel bored.

Okay, I guess. Added a new update that allows for nuclear wars between more than two countries to occur.

can you make it flood again to wash away all the cancer pls thx

I could, but that would actually make me more bored than I already am right now. Cancer is inherently evil, but good doesn't matter without evil.

i thought you said you will never do that again

why have you forsaken me?

I'm not though.

Hey i'm satan!
how are ya doing with humans?

can you create an object to massive for you to lift?

how many cocks can you take in at the same time?

I have to wonder why I can't think of any questions I would ask God right now.

WWYD

Don't you mean humanity in general?

Infinite son

when's Hiroshima v2?

perhaps
but thanks to god we are inherently selfish
also my life is shit and i cant make it better

Oh hey Satan!

Yeah, you were right about how fun it is to mess with them! Creating wars is entertaining! Otherwise, they're pretty boring, but at least a few billion of them are loyal to me one way or another...

What did you have in mind, God?

Half life 3?

When do I die?

No, not even I can find a clear limit to my power.

Trust me I know....I already tried killing myself several times in a variety of ways. Hell, my most embarassing attempt was when I literally went into my mortal form to piss off the Roman governmemt so that way I can go off with a bang. However, being crucified hurts like a motherfucker and I screamed in pain like a pussy all day.

why cant the christian god and the muslim god get along?

In regards to this specific timeline? Oh.

Well, I probably need to check my records later to make sure that I'm thinking about the right timeline. If I'm correct, then you will die of an instant heart attack September 23, 2023.

bruh...
its the same god fampai

then why all the holy wars?

Is that your wife? If so 'tits or gtfo'!

cause hoomins a dumb retards

when is the next holy war?

I guess I'm on God's ignore list.

When are you finally going to release me from this mortal plane? Why are you tormenting me so much, driving me down the path towards suicide?

I'm actually both of those gods :)

It's more about following a strict interpretation a the end of the day. No matter what I tell Christians and Muslims, they will always dismiss me assome sort of demon. I could patch this, but it would require changing what makes humanity human in the first place.

soon
the islamaphobia and anti religion movement is going to boil over
apocalypse nao puhleez

Jew here, were u at fam?
Debbie Friedman did a good song on it a few decades ago. Am I awake, am I prepared, are you listening, to my prayer? Can you hear my voice, can you understand, are you listening, to my prayer

Too many posts for me to handle. I may be God, but I'm just as lazy as a mortal.

Anyways, I'm kinda thinking about killing off Kim Kardashian.

Dubs decides how I should end her.

Can I see some tits now?

There's more of an entertainment factor from my perspective to be honest.

sure
go find a hooker ;^)

I probably heard it, but didn't really listen to it to be honest.

It'll come when it's done being developed.

For fuck sake, lazy fuck

she gets raped to death by a pack of wild africanized zebra niggers

Kanye is invited to the White House, but all hell breaks loose, and Trump accidentally shoots Kim with a small firearm that was hidden in the Oval Office.

It's not terrible, but it's mostly those super liberal synagogues that sing it. One more thing. There's this girl, if you're god you'll know who, do I get her in this timeline or should I leave now and cut my losses.

Can you prove to me that you are God? Beyond any reason of doubt? and Are you me?

she ODs after just 2 marijuana injections

There will never be another official release from Valve relating to Half-Life in this timeline (unless if I got the timelines mixed up again and this is the one where it actually gets released on January 4, 2024).

twerking accident

Why do you let innocent children die in pain?

why did you make me sad crazy instead of funny crazy?

2024? Are you fucking kidding me? Also how many timelines do you have?

Rip apart its cosmic strings and duplicate them so much that I create another one of my weird-ass universes.

Nite

she gets mistaken for a muslim by the trump deportation squad and is gunned down by 50 riflemen by accident.

Either which way I noticed I restarted this trend. - Calvin

spontaneous combustion

Well, there are some timelimes where it continues in the form of a nuclear war. However, this one will never have another holy war on such a large scale. The upcoming "big" wars for this timeline will be a result of bad international politics 4/5.

8^D

cyber bullied to death

plastic surgery accident

Why should I care? Would you let an innocent mouse die in pain in 10 seconds if you were capable of stopping it? Now what if there were hundreds of thousands of these mice all the fucking time. My mind works much faster than a human's. Your lifespan is not something I'd bat an eye to. I have always been. Why would I give a fuck? I don't even possess any empathy for you humans. Similar to how you lack empathy for the mosquito.

simulation theory confirmed. praise The Programmer.

What is my name?

Am i gay?

Go for it. You'll live for about 110 years, so you have plenty of room to mess up.

Although, I do gotta tell you that several of these timelines involves your future wife having disabled children

are there niggers in heaven?

Well, hold on. If your mind works faster than that of a human being's mind, then would not our lifespans be incredibly long and boring to you?

How can that compare to a mouse, 10 seconds before the pale?

Hey god, what gives your immortality meaning?

Who is best jojo?

If you want immediate results though, go flip a coin. It will land on heads.

An infinite amount exists, but I'm only able to think about a few billion at the same time.

you don't need God to know it's Joseph

Why'd you create gay people if it's wrong to be gay? Did you just need more people to fill up hell?

Yeah. It's actually quite easy to get up there. However, Hell is actually not that bad either.

Why are you so fucking gay?

...

It's the result of an inside joke that I share with some of the Old Ones.

That theory is not ar from the actual truth tbh.

Explain the joke to me.

Why are pretending to be me?

Plus, you imply that I have no need for the humans, when in actuality, they keep me from being bored as fuck.

That would probably be more difficult than explaining the meaning of life to a retarded fish frog. Understanding the humor behind this joke requires an insight on how metaphysics works in the reality that exists beyond all layers of the universe and time.

Kanye kills and eats her tomorrow night

Because it's funny

Will I ever use heroin?

is buddah really a cool guy? i never believed that anyone could ever be so chill

trippity trips

You're boring God. That's why you can't create anything else than boredom. Even if you try an infinite amount of time. You should just give up and kill yourself.

SEND NUDES

Yeah, but he's less fun.

If you're happy being materialistic, stay away from him.

I already mentioned that I literally can't kill myself...

You're screwed. We're all screwed.

It's a lose-lose scenario

Welp, I'm getting too bored. I'm going to take a divine nap. No more questions for now.