Star Trek Beyond

Can we agree that this is the most retardest movie ever

>Kirk's character arc is that he is bored of peace and by the end of the film learns that the only time he feels alive is when the lives of millions are in peril and he can feel like a hero
>Bad guy's motivations are that he fought people in the military and he can't fight people in star fleet so he decides to use a superweapon that genocides people instead of just fighting them
>Pegg exploits Leonard Nemoy's death to use as a plot point and character development for Spock but it leads absolutely nowhere
>The crew is immediately separated as soon as they arrive so there is absolutely no time for them to grow and develop as characters by interacting with each other so they spend most of the film dicking around
>The Enterprise travels through the dangerous nebula with very little effort and in apparently no time at all
>At the end of the film drone fighter ships apparently have warp drives since they too seem to be able to bypass the dangrous nebula very quickly
>Bad guy is against unity yet his entire army is composed of drones
>Good guys argue that unity is good but the drone army's unity is the very thing that defeats them in the end
>An alien elf girl and a scotsman are able to repair a several hundred year old space ship by the time it takes the plot to move forward even though at the end of the film a time lapse shows an entire crew building a new enterprise
>the Franklin has to be dropped off a cliff to go to the atmosphere for some reason
>they ripped off Mars Attacks to beat the bad guys
>there are many other dumb things but I am tired

well at least Karl Urban's bantz as Bones was pretty good

Go to sleep OP. Don't you have important things to do tomorrow?

I don't care for emo Spock - but I thought the movie was OK... It's shitting all over ghostbusters so that's good in my book

Kirk didn't have a character arc, the writer's half-assed a Kirk soul-searching plot via all of two moments where it was brought up, and there were clumsy attempts to draw parallel with him and Idris Elba's character that went nowhere and culminated with Krall yelling "WELL AT LEAST I KNOW WHO I AM, JAMES T KIRK"

>>Kirk's character arc is that he is bored of peace and by the end of the film learns that the only time he feels alive is when the lives of millions are in peril and he can feel like a hero

That's actually a good thing story-wise desu famalam, like literal irony. Kirk and Krall aren't different at all.

>>Bad guy's motivations are that he fought people in the military and he can't fight people in star fleet so he decides to use a superweapon that genocides people instead of just fighting them

Fucking what? This manufactured-terror-act-because-peacetime-sucks is a huge fucking trope. Literally what the fuck are you even talking about? This guy was basically "Space Dick Cheney", literally in Wing Commander 4 Malcolm McDowell's final speech has him saying "Fighting keeps us Fit", in basically the same story.

>The crew is immediately separated as soon as they arrive so there is absolutely no time for them to grow and develop as characters by interacting with each other so they spend most of the film dicking around

We've literally had two entire movies of them growing and developing as characters. This is actually unexpected, and not repeating yourself in a sequel is good writing.

>The Enterprise travels through the dangerous nebula with very little effort and in apparently no time at all

Time compression. I'm actually not saying this is good or bad, just that it didn't bother me. And I had issues with Abrams' pacing in "Into Darkness".

>At the end of the film drone fighter ships apparently have warp drives since they too seem to be able to bypass the dangrous nebula very quickly

Were they even able to warp in the nebula? I remember them dodging asteroids from the station until pretty much when they reached that planet, on high-impulse.

>Bad guy is against unity yet his entire army is composed of drones

Dumb, guy. The movie, described as a return to Star Trek's "roots", is obviously social commentary of *unity_in_difference*.(1/2)

Karl Urban's performance is always the best part of New Trek, and this is the best so far.

>Well, at least I won't die alone....

Beyond is pretty good desu, it is better than Into Darkness at least.

>Kirk and Krall aren't different at all.
They even like the same music.

holy shit you're right

but kirk was not forged during war so he is not truly solider at heart

(2/2)

>Bad guy is against unity yet his entire army is composed of drones

Continuing, how can you not see that the federation (shown multicultural/species as fuck, with a gay Sulu), is not a social commentary on _diversity_.

Krall's army was essentially a hivemind. Like the Borg. The antithesis of diverse individuality, which was kind of Rodenberry's Jam.

>Good guys argue that unity is good but the drone army's unity is the very thing that defeats them in the end

See above

>An alien elf girl and a scotsman are able to repair a several hundred year old space ship by the time it takes the plot to move forward even though at the end of the film a time lapse shows an entire crew building a new enterprise

100ish, the ship was lost in the 2160s, and they're in the 2250s IIRC. Also future Materials Science is awesome, yo, I bet Starfleet shit would be made to last.

>the Franklin has to be dropped off a cliff to go to the atmosphere for some reason

You're right, I forget what the technobabble was (needing a drop to affect something to fly), but it was kinda goofy, yea.

>they ripped off Mars Attacks to beat the bad guys

That's actually kinda funny, they did.

>there are many other dumb things but I am tired

desu I think most of your points are dumb tbqh (to be quite honest) senpai (family). For the reasons specified.

Have a good night!

i bet the bike kirk used (which he waxed nostalgia over earlier in the movie) actually belonged to captain edison/krall

>but kirk was not forged during war so he is not truly solider at heart

Dude, Kirk was literally forged at the start of a war. His dad sacrificed himself against far superior technology to save him as he was born.

That ship later destroyed a planet and almost successfully committed genocide against an entire species.

I think that count as war-forged ;).

He finished it too.

>Kirk somehow thinks that a desk job as a rear-Admiral is more fulfilling than traveling around in a space-ship
>bad guy with a crew of 2 for some reason is able to take over planet full of mining operation drones who somehow have life rejuvenating powers that turn you into an alien for some reason
>The bad guy drone ships don't detect the Franklin's energy signatures when it takes off during the middle of them all leaving to attack the Yorktown even though the Franklin only had a visual cloak
>Alien elf girl's revenge subplot with the subcommander is never resolved
>Alien elf girl does not use clever tricks to beat alien subcommander like it was established earlier and instead just punches him
>Large chunks of boring action scenes and nothing happened in the movie so when the film remembered that it had to wrap up some character arcs it did it all in the last 2 minutes.

>>Kirk somehow thinks that a desk job as a rear-Admiral is more fulfilling than traveling around in a space-ship

literally the opposite thing happened retard, he didn't take the admiral position

faggot

>>bad guy with a crew of 2 for some reason is able to take over planet full of mining operation drones who somehow have life rejuvenating powers that turn you into an alien for some reason

bascially the Presidium from Mass Effect with robots nano-sized, except they rebuild biological beings endlessly the only way they know how, by mimicking the original aliens' biology.

>>The bad guy drone ships don't detect the Franklin's energy signatures when it takes off during the middle of them all leaving to attack the Yorktown even though the Franklin only had a visual cloak

Krall's tracking sensibilities are singular, as a hivemind. He only ever tracks one thing at a time. The enterprise/Kirk at the edges of space was one.

>>Alien elf girl's revenge subplot with the subcommander is never resolved

Typical ameriburger, needing death to be satisfied.

>>Alien elf girl does not use clever tricks to beat alien subcommander like it was established earlier and instead just punches him

She gave her confusion-creating holographic emitters to Kirk so that he had a better chance.

She didn't need them much because she wasn't the distraction. I thought they made that obvious.

>Large chunks of boring action scenes and nothing happened in the movie so when the film remembered that it had to wrap up some character arcs it did it all in the last 2 minutes.

Blah blah I'm a faggot.

Go to bed cunt.

Anyone else feel like new Kirk was a fucking pussy for wanting to become an admiral? When old Kirk went through this arc in the films it actually felt earned because he traveled around the galaxy for 30 years and actually accomplished some things that earned him respect. New Kirk just feels like some sort of child who got bored because he didn't get to shoot the bad guys and no one way dying. I honestly couldn't sympathize with him at all.

Fighting one crew of criminals is not a war. If Ocean's Eleven was about murder instead of theft, would you call it a war movie?

Kirk was promoted to admiral between TOS and Motion Picture, which means he was only a captain for five years. That's pretty much the same as here. It just feels different to you because movies can't do seasons worth of episodes (if you like, you can read the IDW comics for that. It's a 50-some issue run).

In fact, I think the whole reason this film is set three years into the five year mission is because TOS ran for three seasons, which means you can pretend they had all those same missions between Into Darkness and Beyond.

>This guy was basically "Space Dick Cheney",

You are an idiot. Bet you're voting for Hillary.

>His dad sacrificed himself against far superior technology to save him as he was born.

Even though Kirk was born in Iowa. THey even made a point of it during ST IV

Amazing that some people not only embrace mediocrity without question, they'll defend it.

Stress can trigger going into labor early and the Kelvin attack is the point where the timelines diverge.

OP is 100% right.

This movie is a 5/10.