Mental Illness thread? I struggle with Bipolar Disorder... tell me what's wrong with you Sup Forums?

Mental Illness thread? I struggle with Bipolar Disorder... tell me what's wrong with you Sup Forums?

Other urls found in this thread:

lifeextension.com/Magazine/2014/6/A-New-Way-To-Manage-Depression-Without-Drugs/Page-01
youtube.com/watch?v=DfwJA0f0UTg
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I got severe depression, anxiety, and ptsd.

OP here, I also have PTSD. Mind me asking what happened? I was sexually assaulted.

Were you diagnosed by a doctor or an actual psychiatrist? I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety as well by my MD. I didn't take the meds she prescribed b/c it didn't feel right. Later I went to a counselor for my PTSD symptoms. She sent me to a psychiatrist who was actually able to nail down my Bipolar disorder. The meds do me a great service, but I still have mood swings... just not as severe.

I struggle with depression also. Been told it's "medicine resistant" depression. When do you know you're suicidal enough to get hospitalized? I have gotten drunk a few times and put a knife to my wrist to see if I had the guts... I didn't. My current plan is to down as much vodka as I can, get into a hot bath, and cut my wrists. I know not one of those things has a high chance to kill, but certainly together I think it might do something. I already tried the "down vodka get in hot bath, hope to die of alcohol poisoning or drowning" but my gf came home and pulled me up out of the bath. Even then I didn't go to the hospital. When do you go, "Huh, maybe I'm suicidal enough to pull it off... maybe I need REAL help? I just don't know if I'm ballsy enough to go into the hospital OR to kill myself. Sorry for the long post...

>depression
>anxiety
>intermittent explosive disorder (anger issues)
>on 60mg/day of prozac
>don't feel anything anymore

i suffer from G-gender dysphoria

I struggle with clinically diagnosed OCD and General Anxiety Disorder.

My brother-in-law has Intermittent explosive disorder, and it's rough for him. He struggles to keep friendships and girlfriends. Even my wife and I have trouble being around him, but try to be supportive. Do you have people who are supportive of you; trying to understand the anger?

PTSD, depression and anxiety

source image no text over it?

Severe depression and general anxiety disorder, on my second week of Prozac

For real dude? What is that like, I never quite understood it? Are you going through hormones, or trying to hide it? Are you still young, or an adult? Post puberty? Just curious.

i dont have the source

...

Not going through anything dont want to mutilate my body and its more like you just dont feel right alll the time

OP here, GAD is the worst. my bipolar disorder is type II, anxious type. I have symptoms of both the major depressive disorder, and generalized anxiety. The only difference is that I actually get periods of time where I feel amazing, and elated, and creative, and actually get to be productive. I hate it for you guys that have both without the hypomanic state, which I actually really enjoy (even if it means I make terrible decisions that affect me later).

Adult ADHD
Social anxiety/phobia

Severe depression and general anxiety here.

Depression, anxiety, general feelings of worthlessness here. Been in therapy for years and take wellbutrin. I think it helps some, but it never goes away entirely. Today's been a rough day.

user, there's studies going on with psilocybin, ketamine and even adderall for treatment resistant depression. With the first two you'd have to be some sort of study (or figure out how to self medicate, the studies are with micro doses), but I'm hearing good results from people on Adderall.

I dunno, maybe that helps somebody.

perfect, thanks

Sorry man, wish I could relate. Sounds like it'd be hard to deal with. Wish you the best of luck.

My sister has type II, but her hypomania manifests as anger/wanting to kill people. At least you get the productive version.

yeah, my family for the most part.
can't stand therapists, they don't get it.
I haven't had many problems with it since i've been on the prozac, but then again, it makes me completely numb, so take that how you will.
when i go off of it, which I frequently do, it can be pretty bad.

my best advice is to support him best you can. I'm not saying give him a big bear hug to stop if he flips shit, but just try to get it. I gotta say though, don't try to say "well see, its all in your head, and I know what's best" because it just makes it exponentially fucking worse.
also
>disorder about anger issues
>called intermittent explosive disorder
>thing about exploding has an acronym
>IED
every fucking time.

I have depression
Not being able to suck down a warm shit log out of Andy Sixx's asshole

Interesting, that's good to know. I'm guessing it'd be a long time before those hit mainstream. Although I actually have left over ketamine from when my dog was fixed, and about to have more for when my cat is fixed next week... hmmm. jk, I'm much too much of a 'fraidyfag

Hypo Mania, servere depression and Borderline. My life is so fucking funny and so fucking sad. I love to hate it. Ohhh and it's diagnosed by 3 doc's and 4 psychatrists

Clinical major depression, alcoholism, sex addiction and anxiety.
Meds and alcohol get rid of the anxiety mostly but I'm basically a heartless zombie with regular suicidal thoughts. Can't get rid of a philosophy through medication I guess

Depression, generalized anxiety, avoidant personality disorder

I'm finally getting a consultation for Electro-convulsive therapy. I hope it'll be like waking up from a bad dream

Oh yeah, with my own mental issues, I know the last thing I want is for someone to tell me it's all in my head or to "just calm down, it's not that big of a deal" I don't say that shit to anyone, let alone him. Instead my wife and I just try to ride it out. If it gets bad enough, we'll leave that day, but touch base the next day.

I did a clinical trial for this shitty add on antidepressant and when it didn't work they offered the ketamine routine and said people have been cured. But I never went through with it

If this helps any, check it out:
www.ketamineadvocacynetwork.org

yeah thanks

Ah, sorry user.

I don't think I've seen where people have been cured in the studies I've read, but that at least the time between treatments were upwards of 6 months. That'd be a fucking relief.

>heartless zombie with regular suicidal thoughts.
hey my man, ditto.
its either
>take meds
>be pussy and feel nothing
>honestly want to become a hood ornament for a train
>go off meds
>notice everything
>overthink and have panic attacks
>or break my foot kicking a vending machine when it didn't give me my fucking gatorade

that's pretty much perfect in my experience.
i'm curious, are his explosions just yelling or does he get physical, and when he does, does he avoid hurting people or no?
personally I do my best to avoid people and end up yelling and screaming. it's a pretty bad time.

Yeah, sorry for your sister. I feel like I at least get a few weeks window between the severe depression that let's me have hope; to try hard on projects that sometimes get finished, and sometimes get dropped. I often move on to something else every manic episode, but at least I have something to cling to during those times. I hope your sister finds something that helps. It's good that you know your sister has bipolar at all. I hid the diagnosis from my family for the longest time until I couldn't deal with their reactions to my shit anymore without explaining myself.

He has never gotten physical with people (that we know of), but he has hurt his hand punching things, broken stuff by throwing it, etc. He has lost his shit in public when he yells at us in restaurants and other public places when we go out. Sometimes he gets pissed and walks out. We'll typically let him stay out until he comes back in, but I'll admit it's embarrassing when it's in public.

Not to mention going off the meds is the most uncomfortable transition ever. Twitching, burning in your head, angry about everything. Fuck that

Just need to stop drinking so much and start working out or something to level my brain out.
If I can force myself out of bed that is ha

Generalized anxiety disorder, borderline bipolar, depression and mild ocd

I'm schizophrenic

Oh, forgot to mention a short stint on abilify has fucked up my Iron levels and made me anemic. Fucking drugs.

Does samefagging count for you then?

My uncle has schizophrenia and lived with my family until I was 17 or 18 and he made comments about pushing me or my sister into traffic. Are you high functioning on medication? Are you able to keep a job, and if not, what is your living situation. Sorry to pry, just curious. I still see my uncle any time I visit family (my mom sees him every week), and he's at my parents' house during holidays. He's high functioning enough to live in an assisted living facility, but not to work, even though he is brilliant and wants to :(

I'm pretty much the same way. you're doing everything right, user. don't stop.
I don't get the twitching or the burning but I get the anger and migraines. shit fucking sucks.
I don't know what I'd rather be, a semi-suicidal numb zombie or somebody wired on hate at all times.
feels bad man.

not been diagnosed by anything, but definitely depression. Used to think I'm bipolar but the mania comes rarely if ever (last time a week three years ago) while the depression wipes several weeks a year... and never truly leaves.

my ex also told me I might be borderline, and truth is my empathy is low and my emotions are somewhat skewed.

I've learned to live with it most of the time. I think about killing myself every day, and that actually gives me the strength to carry on - I just tell myself "it's ok, you're gonna end it one day. not today, today you have things to do. But one day you will."

Yeah, sadly meds don't "cure" you, just make it a little better. I'm on a pretty low swing in my bipolar now, which is why I made the thread. I just turned 30. I made a contract 3 years ago that I'd complete 5 different things by the time I was 30 (one of them was literally just losing 10 lbs), and I didn't complete a single one. The contract said I'd kill myself next month. My spouse found it and freaked out, and that's what got me into therapy in the first place. However, I'm still really depressed that I gave myself 3 years to accomplish some very realistic goals, and I didn't do a single one. That tells me that my life will never change. Feels bad man.

For the time being I can't be in a job because I developed heavy anxiety after I got medicated.

But I function more or less as a normal person except I sometimes need to withdraw from social activity due to too much input at once.

It was very different when I was unmedicated though. I had a fantasy world of my own I lived in that entailed government experiments and daily hallucinations.

Then I also had these violent outbursts that'd result in me getting put into police costudy for the night and then getting released the day after because my friends didn't want to charge me with anything.

That period of my life sucked

Oh, and I'm on welfare, we have a pretty good system here where I live, so I get a good amount of money to take care of myself and have a decent apartment

That's great that you're able to function to some extent, although I know it's really unfair that you got dealt this card to begin with. It's also good that you've been able to make some positive changes. I hope you still have friends and some supportive people who can help you with this terrible illness, even if they don't always understand it or say the right things.

ADHD, I think I had Last year some Panic attacks but hadnt anymore ... And sometimes I have that weird Feeling im getting crazy. Cant tell if its derealization, Depersonalisation, beginning psychosis or anxiety thing

Try Curcuma dude . Also shroom experiences can help

My friends help me a lot to pull through. If it wasn't for one in particular I wouldn't be in this world anymore. He's bipolar himself so he understands how it is to be dealt a bad card at least.

But the biggest help was getting into the psychiatric system. I switched medication a few times since the newer medication didn't work too well. But the typical antipsychotics have worked wonders on me except for the fact that I've gotten incredibly fat. But I can live with that

Just because you haven't accomplished your goals doesn't mean you can't or you won't. I'd guess they were probably there as a motivator for you to try to make things better. How long have you been in therapy? This October will be 3 years for me, and I've been on meds for a little over a year I think.

Give it time, user. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're putting in the work, that's something. You deserve to feel compassion for yourself. My life is better than it was. I am realistic though, I know this will never go completely away barring some great scientific breakthrough. But it is better.

i witnessed my friend go completely manic a week ago, he claimed he was gonna be rich and was the smartest person ever, they say he's bipolar Sup Forums wtf was that i was shook nigga

>sometimes need to withdraw from social activity due to too much input at once.
i feel this feel
>be at bbq at friends ranch
>girl both of us knew shows up
>he knew I wanted to ask her out for awhile, finally grew the balls to do it that night
>had to figure out the timing
>at the perfect time, everyone decides its a great fucking idea to start doing karaoke
>flip shit in front of her and have to run back to my truck and chill out for like 20 mins
>was like 3 years ago
>still remember it perfectly and hate myself for it
at least you tried to set some goals. I can't even get that far.
I have more IED stories I might vent or tell if someone wants to hear.

Is that legal? Again, I'm completely gutless. I don't want to do anything illegal. It's ironic to me that I'd rather drink myself into a coma than try something illegal, but I just can't... do... it. In fact, I'm drunk now TBA.

Yeah, Good for that friend. My lymph nodes are all swollen and painful from my Lamictal, and I sometimes have worse paranoia than I did before I started it, but things are better, so I'm going with it.

Are you me?

The first is, mushrooms aren't unless you get in a trial like I mentioned above (psilocybin).

I've been in therapy off and on for a year. This last stint has only been since November, and I got in with a psychiatrist in December (despite the fact that I live somewhere where I'm told a psychiatrist taking insurance is almost impossible to find). Lamictal made me feel a lot better, but I've been switched to the generic, since that's what my insurance pays for. I now feel horrible again, and I'm paranoid it's b/c the generic isn't helping.

Maybe I am ?

Nah, I'm just fucking with your head :)

lifeextension.com/Magazine/2014/6/A-New-Way-To-Manage-Depression-Without-Drugs/Page-01

Kurkuma is an vegetable which is legal. Sry dont know english Word, its German.

Shrooms are psychedelics and illegal.

He may not be bipolar, anyone can get temporary mania from things like lack of sleep, drugs, stress. Its a survival instinct
>Fucking Jews would like it if he stays on meds for life, but he'll probably snap out of it

>seasonal affective disorder
General anxiety Disorder
PTSD From abusive parents.
If I hear someone coming down stairs and I am below them I freak the fuck out.
I smoke weed to help me deal with everything works great. Problem is if I ever get drug tested I'm screwed but its either that or I kill myself. Ive tried prescription meds they usually make me want to kill myself more, make my dick not work, or just put me to sleep.

Did the doc tell you that shit increases suicidal thoughts?

Anyone else knows the feel when you think you are getting crazy? I even sometimes dream that im crazy. What is it? I dont have it always but sometimes I cant concentrate and I think my behavior is strange and im speaking with myself and shit

My second year in therapy was the hardest for whatever reason. That's when my therapist and I made the decision to try meds.

Glad lamictal works for you, but damn. Is it insurance that's forcing the generic?

Bro, weed makes mental illness worse

Sorry man. I'm OP with PTSD as well. As embarrassing as it is, I got my PTSD from sexual assault when I was a teenager.I would love to smoke weed if it were legal, however I've seen studies that say it makes bipolar worse. But, then again, I'm slowly becoming an alcoholic, so I have to question which is worse? At least the Lamictal makes me super horny all the time. Just wish my wife would actually fuck me that often... At least she doesn't mind knowing that I jack off to porn all the time. Anyway, anxiety with PTSD is rough man... always on the edge, always "going going going." I have those feelings and then crash. I feel you.

>tfw meds are awful and am numb or wired on anger if off them
>would drink, but saw what it did to my alcoholic uncle
>would smoke, but don't wanna be my grandpa
>can't kill myself because I keep wanting to think it'll get better and I know I would be a disappointment if I did
>pretty much just sleep and shitpost all day and jack off
>sick of living in this fucking limbo

Good one, heh. It is just that there are some strong similarities between the two of us. I too suffer from schizophrenia and also have a government with good welfare benefits.

Depression is just a excuse for lazyness and to get attention.

youtube.com/watch?v=DfwJA0f0UTg

Thanks for letting me know that about therapy. Yeah, it's the insurance forcing the change. Even so, I was warned before that Lamictal is a mood swing "delayer" and won't stop the swings altogether, so it might just be that I had some good times, and then finally was hit with another swing. Like I said, I'm simply paranoid. But I'm also paranoid about a lot of other health issues that seem really reasonable to me. My whole family (parents, siblings, etc.) have disintegrating back bones (can't think of the name right now) so I think I might too due to my back hurting. My swollen lymph nodes make me scared that I have cancer. I started running recently and my knee hurts, which makes me think I have a bad knee. My chest hurt for two days also, which made me think I have something wrong with it too, even though last year I had the same problem and after a few tests, the MD said I just needed more potassium after running... completely cleared up after drinking coconut water daily. Anyway, thanks for the help, I might just be paranoid to Hell and back. I'm even paranoid that my swollen cat's belly means she's pregnant, even though she has never been outside (never been with another cat) and she's fixed. I went to the movies for Valentine's day and almost ruined the whole movie for myself b/c I was suspicious of a guy I thought might be a shooter. Damn I need to figure out how to quell these fears.

There is some debate about that and I took it into account before I started smoking. It doesn't seem to make it worse for me personally. All my symptoms go away and I can feel relaxed and happy so long as its a strong indica. My favorite being northern lights. It was either weed or alcohol and with my families history of alcoholism and stomach/intestinal cancer I picked weed

Thanks man makes me feel better knowing someone else knows what I'm feeling.

About 5 months ago I got really bad anxiety and have since had songs stuck in my head all the time. Thoughts?

From what I understand it makes certain mental illnesses worse, and others do get better. It's why "Medical Marijuana" in the states where that's legal actually gets prescribed sometimes for mental illness. However, for me with bipolar the studies are pretty conclusive that it would make the illness worse. However, with anxiety disorders like yours, it really is supposed to make the symptoms better. Just my two cents.

Mostly. I had it and just hardened up, but even if I slept 8 hours a night I would have hardcore bags under my eyes and canker sores and stuff, joint pain, like I was running on 5 hours sleep a night.
>wasn't a pussy about it, but interesting that there were 'real' symptoms

>when you're retarded

Hey I just met you,
and this is crazy,
but here's my number. . .

I dunno man, as a bipolar person, mine feel more physical than anything going on in the head. I was out having a blast picking out Christmas decorations with my wife, then all the sudden, as she put it, my "demeanor changed." there was literally no reason for me to feel bad. I was happy. But then my body shut down. I felt tired, I got tunnel vision, my chest hurt, I was cloudy headed, and I could no longer think. She basically did the rest of the shopping while I followed her in a stupor. I don't think that was simply me feeling bad for myself. I was happy and wanted to stay happy. It was the physical feeling that came first.

I dunno bro.
Weed can screw with you and you wont be able to tell.
Exercise is better for balancing you out.

That's why I'm not a massive 420 faggot about my marijuana use. It may not be right for everyone but I do believe it is right for me.

I workout and work a fairly physically demanding job it helps curb my symptoms but doesn't fully alleviate them

it's always fun to pass out in your head but still be able to move when you're in public
>bonus points if at a family event
>bonus to third power if it happens at the shooting range
I knew I needed to leave when I unloaded an entire 30rnd mag in about 12 seconds from an AR. zoned the fuck out.

Those of us struggling with depression that makes it hard to even get up in the morning to go to work.. it's not likely we'll work out. I work out when I'm manic. I'm almost "orthorexic" (hate that term btw) when I'm manic. can't eat healthy or work out when I'm depressed.

Yeah I know. I had it. Just start off by walking and force yourself to form a habit

Stop jerking off to shemales too

missing dysthymia. i know i have it

THIS... This is exactly how I feel. It's why I could no longer tolerate visiting family without explaining to my immediate family some things about my illness. I HATE feeling all fuzzy headed and having to act like everything is a BLAST ... WOOOH! My mom had a self-proclaimed perfect childhood and thinks everyone should go back to the 50's. My dad also has bipolar disorder, so you'd think she'd understand. NO no no... I grew up hearing about how lazy my dad was. How (even though he had an abusive childhood), he should have been able to feel happy once he invited Jesus into his life. One day (after I'd told my family I'd been diagnosed with bipolar) I was literally attacked by a client, and I was stressed out by the way my manager wanted me to just "continue working for productivity." When I told my mom what happened, her only response was to tell me "did you take your medicine?" All I could hear was the Nathan from "Repo the Genetic Opera" asking his daughter if she'd taken her medication. All I could think was "seriously, anyone would be stressed by being attacked with a razor blade. Yes, it could be worse, it could be a gun, but seriously?" Sorry for the rant, but YES when it comes to dealing with social events around family.

So, I've been told I have diagnosis but bipolar never stuck, they kept jumping between II and unspecified. I am endowed with mild PTSD symptoms that play well with my general anxiety. But I mean I dont think it matters all that much while my ADD has me jumping from topics that make me wonder if the accompanying mood swings are just a progressive development torwards borderline, but does anyone really feel like axis 2 is ever gets any consideration? So im kinda at the point where I see the world I feel like society is more at fault for creating "us" than they like to (sometimes literally) confine us to thinking. I mean its pretty easy to lock up a kid for 9 months because they had traumatic first years, but where are the complaints sayimg maybe you should put a 7 year old on a pharmacuetical equivalent to cocaine? Furthermore why are we putting kids on antipsychotics when the withdraw is the only thing causing any form of psychosis. And I'm not denying that there is truth and there is hope behind the science, but how do you expect to people to believe its intheir best interest if you lock them up without any legal repersentation and force drugs down their throat and expect ignorance to keep them swayed? It seems that the general consensus is that patients arent people, they're cattle to be sedated until further notice, at an industrial level. But then again im not seeing shit, and I aint paranoid. I just feel people hurt people, and dont second guess what they're doing until it effects them personally, an its sad but i believe that to be a sysmptom of an ill society, and those labeled by that society bear brunt of a reality forcd upon them. I mean 2005 saw 50% of homes taken from families. Thats gonna cause a lot more "mentally ill" people, but they'll be ignored, until they cant be, because that is how people work.

Sound crazy enough?

Wow thats extacly me except im only in the blue mode...

Don't let the Jew bring you down brother

OP here. Damn, I keep thinking "my so and so has this" when everyone talks about their illnesses, but that makes me realize that I have so many family member diagnosed with shit. My wife has dysthymia. She's always unable to work her hardest to meet her goals, and she's always cynical and upset about something. I love her because she's always blunt and real with me. However, for others, they all think she's crass and rude (she has a very high IQ, which I also love about her). She struggles, like me, with the feeling that nothing she does will matter in the long run because she is too tired from work to focus on anything other than distractions (video games... for both of us). We're both now alcoholics, which makes it harder for either of us to stop.