Alright faggots, greentext stories, GO!

alright faggots, greentext stories, GO!

i gotchu fam

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my funniest ones are on my phone btw

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here's one I capped a while back

holy fuck, i basically only have shitty ones or regular text stories

anyone still lurking?

>poop

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capped this a while ago, too

seriously, is anyone here?

Posting.

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Moral of the story: snap your fucking fingers and you'll go far in life

gay

I feel like this is fake but I want it to be true so god damn bad.

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>be me
>be in lecture room, finished earlier than expected
>professor starts talking about schrodinger's cat in our spare time
>like the fucking weeaboo i am i had my ringtone set as the Neon Genesis Evangelion theme
>watching a video on my in the corner seat of the room
>phone fucking blasts a call
>ZANKOKU NA TENSHI NO YOU NI
>entire fucking room is looking at me
>shut my phone off
>2 minutes later get another call
>zAAAA
>shut that nigger off again
>i tried walk out of the lecture room, spaghetti flying out of my pants
>wake up sitting at a table
>professor asks if im ok
>told me that i tripped on my way out and got knocked the fuck out by the door
>fucker calls while im comatose
>entire class just snickered while my weebshit ringtone played in my injury induced slumber

what the fuck did i do to deserve this?