The last thread 404'd

The last thread 404'd
>ITT worst/weird sexual experiences

Mine is a mix of good and bad.

>Be 19, good looking male
>since I was 18 I have been a regular at a local swingers club
>Being that young made me quite popular with the cougars aged 45-50
>In the middle of a group sex session I have a cougar riding my face
>Feel a mouth on a my dick, nice
>While having my whole field of view blocked by pussy I recieve the most amazing blowjob ever
>Really intense orgasm so I have to move the cougar from my face after a few seconds
>Check around
>The other women are mid bang and atleast 3meters away
>wtf just happened
>Talk to the host
>He just laughs and said he saw me get blowed by a middle-aged man

I have really mixed feelings about this experience. That is by far the best blowjob I've ever had, and I've had my fair share. Like no woman has ever been close to making me cum like that, even less with her mouth.
Have tried getting a BJ from a dude afterwards but couldnt even get it hard. Just can't get turned on by dudes

gg ur life is over

Have another one

>Be 19
>Get invited over to fuck a married woman
>"He won't find out, he's out of town"
>Get there
>Fuck
>Walk out the bedroom grabbing my clothes on the floor
>Husband siting in living room
>Tosses me a beer, asks me to sit down
>Get dressed fast and sit down
>Tells me he can't get it up so he let's her do this so she's satisfied
>Drink beer
>Never return

That was actually kinda sad. But when I first saw him I thought I was going to be killed

If the guy was like, a 19 year old trap, i would be OKAY. with it, but you are gay as fuck getting sucked off by some old ass truck driver nigga 40 years old fag

Last one I'll contribute

>Be at swingers club
>Gangbang about to happen
>Woman walks in, looks fine 7/10, huge tits, about 30 years old
>She undresses
>mfw
>She has no fucking nipples. As if the boobjob surgeon forgot to sew them back on.
>Breasts are hard as potatoes
>Stinkiest pussy I've ever encountered
>Couldn't finish the fuck
>The only ones able to finish off with the ending bukkake was 2 60 year old men.

I had no vision of him doing it. I was sure it was a woman until the host told me.

ay nice trips man, but i would still feel gay af getting sucked off by some old ass truck driver

Haha well it might've been some truck driver I don't know. Never got to see the guy after I talked to the host either. I don't feel gay about it but it does bother me that I have yet to find a woman with the oral skills of that "truck driver". But as I said earlier I don't get turned on at all by men so knowingly getting blowed by a guy is a no no, it just doesn't work

How does a swingers club work? I have a gf since 2014 and been sticking with her since. So i for real have no idea how a swinger club work

Really depends if it's a public one or if it's a private club. Most public ones require membership which is harder to get as a single male, especially if you look average or worse.
T
he one I have been going to the most is a private club which has the events at this seniors home. He's kinda like heffner, just wanders around in his robe, smiling at all the people fucking, making sure everyone has rubbers, lube, towels etc. Just being a great host.Really nice guy that I'm glad I got to know.

So the way it works at this club is that they arrange different events and anounce them on a member webpage. There you sign up and the women pick and choose some and "heffner" adds some of his triumph cards (I was one of these) to most events. These guys are guys that perform well in groups, last long, good dicks etc.
Then you arrive the place and as long as you dont arrive on the clock that the couples and single girls arrive, there are a lot of fucking going on already. Since The couples and girls have mostly seen and chosen us single guys on before hand it's basically a smörgåsbord of sexual acts to choose from. Just undress, and join the action, take a no as a no and feel the vibes. Inbetween cuming you go to the kitchen, have a laugh and a sandwich and then you're back to fucking again

Vänta är du svensk? Vilken klubb snackar vi om? :D

>met a random 8/10 acquaintance of my sister at a bar
>they put two tables together so I wasn't really close to her
>chick next to me got up for whatever reason and the 8/10 came over and took her seat
>looked over at her like hey whats up
>she said "I don't like doing all the talking and bullshit do you want to go 'get it in'?"
>asked her to repeat herself because I was dumbfounded
>she did and grabbed my dick under the table
>had no idea what the right response was so I awkwardly giggled out "heh heh yeah sure"
>she said something along the lines of alright lets go
>I said something along the lines of I drove my sister's jeep here and can't right now but we should be leaving soon
>so there we were at the table, me getting an over the pants handy, listening to people bullshit
>texted my sister like we need to leave now this chick's down
>there were a couple more people in our group so we all said goodbyes and piled in the jeep
>I was driving, she had shotgun, and kept rubbing my dick with my sister in the car but I think it just looked like we were holding hands
>got back and everybody got out of the jeep
>didn't want to because boner
>once everyone went inside she lunged at me
>fucked her in the back seat
>went down for too long like a gentleman
>didn't even know her name
>asked her where she was staying that night because I had shit to do the next day
>said she was staying with her friends that might be awake
>dropped her off there
>woke up the next morning to texts saying that she had to sleep out on a porch because it was locked and texts from my sister saying she found the chicks bra
>sister ended up bringing her her bra
>never heard from again
It was shitty to drop her off but hey she clearly used me for sex so I had no reason to treat her like a decent person

Ahh that IS kinda sad

Aqvakul

>Aqvakul
VA? Simhallsbadet va fuck dillar du om?

Mannen lyssna, aqvakul. Ok, bra ställe men om du e kräsen så ok

I have some more stories, I think they're all weird
>halloween a couple years ago
>dressed as a "frat boy" with a blazer and boat shoes and the whole deal
>7.5/10 that I had met before but hadn't fucked came up in a masquerade mask being all touchy feely asking what I was doing later
>I was drunk and tired so I was like meh probably just going back to my place
>she said oh yeah nice where's that
>I gave her the most vague directions possible
>she said alright well I have a sex board game at my house we should play I'll bring it over
>laughed it off like yeah I'm sure that's going to happen, but I said alright give me a call before you show up
>the night winded down and I headed home and didn't see her
>as soon as I started falling asleep my phone started blowing up
>I was so tired I didn't answer it
>a couple minutes later there were knocks on my door
>I was like HOW DID THIS BITCH FIND ME
>thought if I fell asleep she would go away
>No
>heard crying outside
>went to go check
>she was out there with a backpack full of lingerie and the board game
>told her I'm too tired and we shouldn't
>she told me her sister brought her all the way over and she had no ride home
>I said alright fine come in
>we played the game for about 30 seconds and then I had her put on some lingerie and fucked her
>morning after was so awkward and the cab took way too long to come get her

cuck detected

Fattar inte vad fan du dillar om, ett jävla simhalls ställe?

pic pls

Ja vem tror du att killen i badrocken e

....... helt efterbliven är du

Ok this one is short but unfortunately true.

Had this absolute bombshell, 10 out of fucking 10, with me home after a night out.

So we get down to business, everythings good just admiring that godly body, until i get her completely naked. You guys are all gonna call me a faggot for this, but she had a bush. Not alot, but it was there. And because of that I couldnt get it up, and I tried like you wouldnt believe.

Ended up telling her I drank too much and couldnt perform, (maybe it was a combination), she still spent the night, left the next morning.

I fucking gag if I see pubes.

You're putting me in a predicament..
I told a sex story one time and no one believed me so I posted a picture of the chick off facebook thinking "there's no way they'll backtrace me!?"... and then google linked it to her tumblr... and then some faggots sent her the greentext anonymously... and then two months later I got a text saying I'm a fucking creep and accusing me of taking pictures of her while she was sleeping..
So I think you're just going to have to use your imagination on this one bud

;)

I wouldn't eat it if there was a bush but if she was a legit 10 like you're saying I wouldn't have a problem getting hard
What about pubes makes you so repulsed?

Such a douchebag for real

I honestly dont know. I just have a real issue with all kinds of body hair, head is ok of course, i just cant deal with it. Its so dirty to me.

...

You need to reflect on how you have been conditioned to reject women - and yourself - in the natural state. It's fine to prefer people groom themselves a certain way, but if you cannot accept the human body in its natural form, you have some serious internal insecurities that will cause you great trouble later in life.

Here is your task:

Do not shave or cut any hair on your body for at least one month. Stand outside nude on a sunny day in the wildnerness and smear yourself with dirt, sand, or ashes. Face the sun for at least ten minutes. Meditate on accepting the natural state of your body.

>you're welcome, grasshopper.

Dafuq is... im 27 though but whatever. Ill do it