Itt we act like in an office

Itt we act like in an office

I don't want to

shitters blocked again

I brought fruit to share

hey OP, did you get that memo?

Where the fuck is Dave? Dickhead's always late

Guys, I don't know if you got the memo, but we're putting cover sheets on all our TPS reports now, so if you could do that for me, that'd be great.

Oh no! It was for you!?

Guys, why do my stapler smells like shit?

WHO THE FUCK ATE MY PUDDING!? It's the 3rd time this week!

Hehehe

printers jammed

I just came all over my teddybear tie

Fired!

John how many times did I tell you that sausages aren't veggies!

who shited in every cup in the kitchen?

Hey guys! When the coffeemaker is empty you fill it up! Okay? No one likes it when that shit is gone!

So how was your weekend Johnson?

Printers not working again dang it!

Spent it with another Johnson, if you know what I mean.

Hey can you guys keep it down? I'm on a call here

Faggot.

Nobody cares about your mother calling you

Hey guys. I brought some donuts. Who want some?

hello pretty woman! give me sex woman!

Oh well
Lunch time

Hey Ted, what day is it today, the 11th? Shit, I gotta get those reports sent out before 9:00. I only have about 15 minutes.

Weird, that plane is flying awfully low...

They call me blarg stealer of lunches

Great! Time for lunch with my two best friends!

>come in late
>do not much
>long lunch
>do not much more
>leave early

Used to have a job like that. Good times. Won't ever happen again.

Doing good guys, keep it up and we may make it to the bonus this month.

i stapled my foreskin to the desk as a joke but now it's stuck and i can't get it CAN I BORROW YOUR SCISSORS?

...

...

How do you guys like my new mousepad?

That's what she said.

Sexual harassment you are fired mohammed!

new card. what do you think?

hey woah woah... that guys Muslim we cant fire him. That'll soil our image

Who the hell stuffed three whole watermelons and a bucket of KFC in the break room fridge?

this looks familiar

nice, really nice

That would be the new intern I guess

...

The brass wants us to focus on quality assurance guys so if you'd all read up on ISO 9000 that's be great.

Trump's president and he'll come over in a few days if he sees one he will fuck our business

God damn it, Mike's got his dick stuck in the fax machine again. HR really needs to stop hiring special needs just for the publicity.

...

Keep your tits out of the doughnuts Jan

...

The SEC is riding my ass again for those excel back-ups, what is IT doing? Those fucking nerds can't do anything.

Oookay, boss here everybody please sit down, I have bad news...

As the last quartal didn't go well the HQ told me to fire 3 people of my section I am going to select them on the amount of hours they have lost, on their work, social skills and clients they convinced.
Deadline next week

DAMMIT JOHNSON, I NEEDED THOSE TPS REPORTS AN HOUR AGO!

who the hell stole my mice

I have a confession....I shat in the copier

Tom I'm glad u confessed it

But please consider using the toilet next time

THIS IS THE GUY WHO SUCKED MY DICK

come on mister chef! woman show me big breast she want my hard curryroll! home in india we no have so beautiful woman

Mohammed in my office in 5min.

Btw I am still waiting for the TPS report...

but chef me no want to fuck you! i want sex with big breast donut lady! not you!

I confess
It was jose that mexican fuck

Mohammed go back to work we'll talk later about you behavior..

*speedwalks from warehouse to shop*

*speedwalks from shop to warehouse*

*speedwalks from warehouse to shop with a file*

got it boss!

I am legitimately in an office right now. AMA.

Wha.. what you mean I can't drink "hic" drink on work hours?
Fu "hic".. Fuck you.

How many cups of coffee have you had?

*shakes head and speedwalks to HR*

You probably shouldn't be browsing Sup Forums, or at least Sup Forums

>keep waiting for nobody to look at me while I continue to fart as quietly as possible

two, but I go to the coffee machine and mash the '2 x espresso' button until the cup is full.

Anons, the company is going under, first person to think of an idea to save our asses gets to be vice president.

*teleports behind you*

Fire the niggers and OP.

its safe don't worry

Sup Forums HQ offices?

He's a Hindu

There is a starbucks near the office I hop on their wifi when I feel bored.

Sir, how about I suck your dick?

I'm the network guy, I route the traffic and all reports on internet usage come from me.

Cool. I want to be a lazy sysadmin myself one day.

Did someone just fart?

Plz don't share my usage for the past 14 minutes, I owe you a beer!

dying career, get in while you can. it's a good life.

learn *nix networking and routing. windows guys will come with a problem that'd take a day to figure out and you can do it in 5 mins.

Someone spiked the water cooler with PCP again

Where the fuck is Dave? Also, I'm gonna need the Jenkins account files on my desk within the hour.

You smell that, too? Geez... it totally wasn't me.

*speedwalks past your desk with the Jenkins account files*

*hands the Jenkins account files to the PCP druggo*

its ok, i turned off the logging to use the compliance server as a minecraft server

you can access the live state of the jenkins system from the intranet. just pull up the homepage and scroll down to 'internal resources'. It's currently managed by the egypt team, so answers may be delayed.

That moment when you are actually in an office but posting on Sup Forums.

gm, give plz, have gud day,

Alright everyone, I brought the donut holes. Now, I only have a limited number, so try not to take more than three. And PLEASE use the napkins.

if 'admin' doesn't work, try 'admin2'. we had a thing where it didn't like using our usual pass so a lot of them are different

Didn't it get transferred back to Sup Forums because the Egyptians all join ISIS?

there were some early complaints but we don't discriminate on ideologies. As long as they pay attention to their training they will not mention any religious or political leanings. if they do, get a UID and report them to HQ and they'll be put under performance management.

Where the fuck is John ? I've been waiting this fucking delivery truck for 3 days.
This asshole's gonna get fired soon if he keeps doing that every month