I don't like Tom Cruise

I don't like Tom Cruise.

You would if you were Clear. We can help with that.

He is stupid.

He doesn't like you either.

I don't like Tom Crews.

That's ok, no one does. The only reason he gets so much acting work is because Zenu controls Hollywood.

I thought he was okay in the repentant.
Pic related.
Like to see you take a bear down.

...

(((Tom Cruise)))

Then Com Truise.

He was pretty okay in Columbine

Com Truise

Tom Cruise has the power of the church

Crom Tuise

Tom Cruise helped me get my car unstuck in Colorado a few years ago. Not even kidding.

No.

What you had an accident and he was the only person that could help?

my gay hiv positive roommate said he fucked tom cruise under high security, as in tom was the bottom. But apparently he takes super expensive anti hiv meds so he can't get hiv.

Is that a euphemism for something?

If so, he also got "my car unstuck in Colorado" when I was wasted in LA one night.

He's been in a lot of good movies it's a shame he's part of an evil cult.

Please tell us that you put him under your tire for traction.

I went to a wedding. The day after, I had about a 20 hour drive to get home, but I was in no hurry because I'd taken that Monday off from work. So I was just kind of driving around these back roads, stopping and taking pics of the mountains and shit. I saw what looked like a good place to pull over and get some good shots. But the snow wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and I ended up getting stuck.

I saw a lot of cars pass by, but no one stopped. I even had my hood up, the universal signal for "motorist in distress. Still, everyone kept going. I was so pissed off at myself for being so stupid and everyone that just kept driving by.

Then this black SUV pulls over. And this little 5'3'' manlet gets out, flanked by these two huge meathead looking dudes. He looked familiar, but I couldn't place him. Had I seen him at the wedding? He asked me what happened and I told him I was just out taking pictures and got stuck. He was like, "Yeah, you can't beat that view! It's beautiful here!"

Then he extended his hand and said, "I'm Tom." That's when it clicked. Oh shit, yeah. It is! I just kind of laughed because the last person you expect to meet when you're in a shitty situation is one of the biggest movie stars in the world.

He looked at my car, said it didn't look too bad. He called the other two over and the three of them pushed while I steered the car back onto the road. I thanked them and he gave me this little slap on the shoulder and said, "Enjoy your day! And ah, watch where you park!"

Didn't think to ask for an autograph or a picture or anything until after he was gone. And fucking no one believes my story when I tell them.

Tom Cruise might be in a cult, he might murder babies and drink the tasty juices contained inside. He might be bat-shit insane. I don't know. But I do know he was cool as shit to me on that day.