Toilet paper thread? Toilet paper thread

Toilet paper thread? Toilet paper thread.

> How much paper do you use?
> How do you arrange the paper before wiping?
> How do you wipe?

I crumple it up n wipe one time with each crumple usually multiple flushes because I do till there ain't no more shit

>8-9 sheets
>pull about 5 sheets, individually tear each square off
>take 2 and combine them and then fold
>wipe once
>fold again
>wipe
>drop
>repeat

Wipe once one square I don't mind shitty ass

That is fucking disgusting you shit eater

hard mode

>wiping
>not using bidets
faggots

>not wiping first before using a bidet
disgusting pleb

Tell me about it. Washlets forever.

I take one square. Combine with another square for thickness if necessary.
Using two fingers, one on each side of the butthole, I wipe once with the square. Then fold and wipe again.

Repeat at least twice, then repeat until no more shitstains on the paper.

The total amount obviously varies between poops but a typical wipe is 2 squares, folded in half. I lift my balls up and go in from the front.

so pretty much exactly like

I tear off about 13 squares then throw it in the toilet and pick out the left over berries from my ass then mush it into a ball. Dribble it on the ground the shoot for the game winning 3-pointer. Beat the buzzer, crowd goes wild. Your move bud.

> take 3 squares
> roll into a fluffy ball without compressing
> take 3 more squares and roll between hands to look like a cigarett
> thread long peice through ball peice and slowly push up into anus with the long end sticking out
> save paper and time since you shove excess shit back into asshole
> you dont have to shower as often because you cant get swamp ass
> if it gets too uncomfortable just eat a bunch of bread and mt dew or candy bars and shit it out
> rinse and repeat

No reason to fold before the first wipe. That only means the third fold makes the paper super cramped and small, like a cube of shitpaper. I ain't doing that.

I drop 14 squares into toilet before i shit because i hate water splashing my pooper (clean freak)

Then i do a handstand on water reserve and let all excrement squeeze out any direction it chooses (which is pretty amazing for a 210lb 5'2 guy to do.
If piss gets on the wall i leave it but shit must be cleaned up (clean freak) so i take bleach and shove neck into butt and use thunderthigh muscles to suck the contents and then try to shit blast it on my shit and wipe it up with half a roll of toilet paper which i dispose of in the nearest trash.

Went to a friends house house for weeks until they found out it was me. Kind of thought the yellow staining on the wall was artistic tbh

>5-6 sheets
>fold in two
>wipe
>drop
>repeat

take 5- 6 square long strip
place on the rim of the toilet seat
spread my butt with both hands
rub against the rim and tp
rub against bare rim mostly
wipe rim
flush
clean as a whistle

>over
>3-5 ply
>2 sheet
>fold
>wipe
>fold again
>wipe

currently experiencing some trouble with Perianal thrombosis, so i use some wet papershit before

All
All
I dont wipe I vape

I use about 5-8 rolls per year

I take one sheet, dubble fold and wipe first ass to balls then balls to ass untill theres no shitstains (usually 2 or 3 times)

nice dubs and fucking kek

you win

If you use the under method, a spider can hide on the back of the toilet paper
Then you wipe your ass with a spider, is that what you want?

a spider could be behind the first sheet on the over as well. I'm not defending under fags because over is masterrace, but just sayin

squatting slav here. 23 squares to put on seat always in the same pattern. Then around 21 squares ti wipe until perfectly clean.

Turk here
dont wipe
I have special friend who is always happy to do it for me
thats us in webm

No. You don't let the tp flap hang over, let it rest on the top.
Then spider has nowhere to hide.
You simply can't do that with the under method.

But hey, if you wanna get assraped by a spider, by all means, you go ahead and install the tp backwards.

Over and I use my fingers to save money because you are going to wash your hand anyway.

Damn, I wish that were me.

>pull 3 squares
>fold once
>wipe
>fold again
>wipe
>drop
>repeat until spotless
>takes a while
>when i notice there's significantly little on the tp i only pull 2 squares because of how much this uses

I use 8 sheets, fold multiple times, wipe ass vigorously, fold sheet, wipe again, drop repeat.

People that use under are degenerates

so after using a bidet you pat down your legs and ass with paper to dry the area right?
I tried using one a few times in japan and for some reason they would always splash on my legs too.

I just tug on the roll and however much comes off i use to wipe.

six squares, tri-folded so i have a 2 square area (roughly hand size) 3 sheets thick..
one or two passes with conventional tp
then finish off with wet wipes
because CLEAN BALLOON-KNOT IS AWESOME!!!

Proof that OVER is the best option

See?
You can't even see the fuckin' spider that's about to anally rape you in the second option.

I just use my hand and then wash it

Butt, butt, what abutt the vertical holder?

I am so confused right now

you have merely rotated the problem 90 degrees

Over/under/left/right/around/behind?

>not using automated toiletpaper dispenser

> How much paper do you use?
1
> How do you arrange the paper before wiping?
I rip off a little piece and stick my finger through the middle of the big piece
> How do you wipe?
I clean my asshole with my finger, then wipe off my finger with the toilet paper around it. Use little extra sheet to clean fingernail.

What is this scat fetish bullshit?

UNDER
Overfags are just crazy, non-human, pieces of shit and I fucking hate them.

...

It actually creates a whole new problem

I wipe back to front. You could call me the chaotically evil person of bathrooms, whenever I'm at a friend's house / apartment, I go through every bathroom and swap the way their toilet paper is hanging IE if there's is like on the left, I switch it to the right, if it's like on the right, I switch it to the left. I also sometimes poop in people's showers and then go and tell them that their cat pooped in their shower if they have a cat.

>trying too hard

You call that trying? Friend, people where I live are assholes, I live on a college campus. What I do is child's play compared to some of the other things people do in other people's bathrooms.

>4 squares folded in half twice or 3 squares folded into thirds
>either way size of one square but more thick
>Wipe
>Fold
>Wipe
>Fold the other way
>Wile
>Drop
>Repeat until paper comes up clean and dry

Oh and sometimes I fold again if I'm almost done but I don't want to grab more sheets for only one wipe

What's with all these precise wiping methods? What happened to just pulling down on the roll and wadding it up

two squares folded.
half-standing, from front to back, hand on back. It's impossible to dry myself when I am sitting! Always done that since I was kid/young. Drying until I see no shit. Or blood if you care enought.
I also swipe cock with one-two squares and spray it with water, then dries it with toilet paper, so I don't have to smell urine from it.

Sometime I'll first put one-two papers in the toilet to avoid water splashing.
Washes my ass off in shower afterward, not doing that regulary right now, but I love to have a clean ass, so I usually does that in summer or before biking.

I rolled up as a kid, because I was retarded. I soon learnt that a flat surface paper gives you a huge benefit towards getting clean.

>be me 27
>go into bathroom
>drop trow
>birth a heavy growler
>poop so big I get separation anxiety after it leaves my body
>wipe once with the recycled scott brand(go green)
>then tidy up everything with a wet flushable wipe
>use wet wipes till cheeks and anus are squeaky clean
>flushable wet wipes are a god send
>balls and ass are always fresh and clean
>a clean ass is a happy ass
>mfw

>two squares
>wipe
>drop
>repeat until clean
>one square of baby wipes
>wipe
>drop
>done

Blast with bidet

Blast harder so water goes up asshole then gets shat out

Dry off with a few squares

I use wet wipes. Wooing your ass with toilet paper only makes the shit on your ass dry and stay there but wet wipes will keep your ass squeaky clean.

I always imagined that wet wipes were too slippery to pick up all the shit. The skin on your ass has higher friction than a wet wipe, thus better retains the remains.

Wouldn't dry wipes followed by wet wipes be better?

You have to wipe up all the mess first with dry paper, then go once more over and buffer the rest clean with the wet wipe for a fresh ass.

Dont be degenerates.

>two squares
What are you the Queen of England or just a rich kid?

I think that all depends on the consistency of the shit. If you have a wet shit then using a dry wipe first followed by a wet wipe would be the best option. But if you've done a solid dry shit it's best to go straight to the wet wipes.

>4 sheets then 3 for 2nd wipe
>folded into one
>back to front
>then proceed to take a shit

I also use wet wipes. They're softer and leave you squeaky clean.
My wife's boyfriend likes it when I use them.

...

New thread

Anyone who does under should be gassed

I usually get a big clump of paper and grab the end of my asshole hairs and run it to the end of them to clean off a the shit smeared into them. Then i start on my asshole

I'm to poor to afford a spindle

>wrap toilet paper around hands a couple times
>wet a small portion of the tp in sink
>wipe
>take 3-4 sheets for anything left