Alright faggots.
**ASK A PLUMBER ANYTHING**
If you ask the right question you may get some very interesting greentexts.
If you ask a new question you will get new greentexts. (You know.... O.C. That one thing the board is lacking)
Also general plumbing advice.
If you appreciated the advice you were given, reward me with tits.
I like tits.
What's your favorite beer?
Ever fuck a lonely housewife?
Reward with tits.
We need a green text on this op
how much do you love upperdeckers?
Do you prefer pex or copper?
...
No. But I once came close. Greentext engaged.
>Working for some mob with a gps tracker on the car. Last job of the day.
>Rock up at house, lonely looking milf.
>Body 8/10
>Face 4/10 but whaver, have not had sex in 2 weeks.
>Get to door.
>Hello miss, my name is user, you called a plumber?
>Yes user, please come in and look at my sink.
>Check sink, easy fix
>No worries love, this'll take 10 minutes.
>While fixing sink issue, lonely milf begins chatting.
>So what's your story user, where you from etc. Usual crap.
>Move forward a bit.
>Have you got a girlfriend user?
>Ohshiti'minforthewin.jpg
>Nah, haven't got a girlfriend at the moment
>Why not user? You're an ATTRACTIVE man, you're obviously very PROFESSIONAL and STRONG...
>"Well I was seeing a girl but she left me two weeks ago"
>Sympathy card is go. I actually left the girl, not the other way around. ;)
>Oh that's TERRIBLE user! Are you doing ok? Surely you've got other girls on the go!
>Nah, chicks my age are a little bit stuck up, they tend to not find me attractive.
>Grabs me by the arm, brings face really close to mine, wide eyed
>REALLY??? REALLY user! I FIND THAT *VERY* HARD TO BELIEVE.
Dick is now rock hard.
Cont.
How do you fix a problem where the bowl keeps running with water but the tank wont fill on a button flush toilet
Hold tight, I'll greentext after alcomilf.
The fuck are you talking about?
Speak in the language of an Ausfag and I'll be able to reply accordingly.
Copper.
Pex is a fucking joke. It's easy as fuck to install but makes your fucking water taste like it's fresh out of a garden hose, and it never survives sunlight for long.
Copper lasts for fucking years.
Ok, the "flush rubber" is fucked.
Lift the lid off your toilet, at the bottom of the middle pipe is a rubber. Turn the water off to the toilet, figure out how to remove that pipe, and replace that rubber. It's called a seating rubber.
Send me a photo for better instructions.
>user, do you want to stay for dinner?
>Yep, I'm in for the win
>"Ah, look, I'd love to, but I've got a GPS tracker on the car, and if I stay here too long there's trouble"
>Ok user, how about this, you drive your car a couple of blocks up the road and park it somewhere, I'll follow you in my car and drive you back here.
>FUCKYESI'MGETTINGLAIDTONIGHT.webm
>Drop off car, drive back, chick flits around for a bit and microwaves about the shittiest leftovers I've ever tasted.
>Cannot give fuck. Rock hard dick, barrel down food.
>Milf pours herself a glass of wine, would you like a cigarette user?
>Giving flirty eyes.
>Phone rings.
>It's her on again off again boyfriend
>"No no, it's just the plumber, no I'm not seeing anybody"
>Jealous boyfriend? All I need is porn music and the scene is complete.
>Finishes phone call.
>Sorry user, that was my boyfriend, we have.... a lot of troubles over time.
>"Oh you have a boyfriend?"
>NONONONONO!!! *EX* boyfriend...
>sex is still on the cards.
>Pours herself another wine.
>So user... How about that cigarette?
Cont.
>Sounds good
>Step outside on the balcony.
>She hands me one of her cigarettes
>Standing side by side, her sexy little milf body brushing blatantly against mine.
>So user... I get very lonely...
>Stay quiet, have cigarette, alpha as fuck.
>I don't get many male visitors over here...
>Dick hardening, pants bursting.
>You're not saying much user.
>Wink at her. "Just enjoying the cigarette".
>Well user, you're sucking something of mine, maybe I should suck something of yours....
>FUCKYEAH.winrar
>"Sounds like a solid plan"
>Milf throws cigarette butt in backyard and walks inside.
>Do same, I follow.
>She pulls out chair and motions for me to sit.
>I sit down getting ready for blowjob. Hard as fuck.
>She sits down on table opposite me and pours another glass of wine.
>Uh... ok... whatever.
>Then proceeds to sit there.
>"....you alright love?"
>Milfanon sighs deeply.
>Listen user... I'm sorry if I lead you astray....
>WTF?
>"...what?"
>Well you see, when I told you I wanted some company....
>"...yes?"
>I actually wanted company....
>"...what????"
>......user....I'm an alcoholic...
>My dick drops to half mast.
>I look around for secret camera for joke tv.
>She then starts to regale me on her life story on how she became an alcoholic, and how she really needs company.
>I say that's fair, say I really need to get to back to my car as I have an early start.
>She says no worries user! Give me your phone number!
>Sure thing alcomilf! Gave fake number.
>Takes me to door
>Any chance you can give me a lift back to my car?
>Oh no I can't user, I've been drinking all day! Goodnight!
>Closes door.
>Wander 5 blocks back to car, with half a hardon.
>Beta as fuck.
>water taste like it's fresh out of a garden hose,
>drinking tap water
Shiggydiggy
How do you like being covered in shit sewer lord
If college doesn't go well, is plumbing a valid alternative? I'm lazy, am awkward, but I learn things fast. How well would I do?
There you go, its full of water now as we have to keep pulling thay white thing up to stop it flowing constantly
> Grew up in ye olde Ausfaglia.
> "SON, YOU ARE NOT AN MAN IF YOU DO NOT DRINKS THE VB FUCKIN'
> Drinks the VB fuckin'
> Known as the "Chunder King"
> For non Aussie Masterrace Fagets chunder means Vomit.
> FUCKIN'WHY.FUCKYOU???
> Greentext unrelated to original story.
> First fleet that colonised Aus
> Brought bunch of convicts on boat
> Any time somebody was vomiting over side
> Yell out "WATCH UNDER!!!"
> Watch under.
> WAT *blurp* CHUNDER
> OI!!! CHUNDER!!!!
Cont.
Connect a garden hose to a tap and see how it tastes you fucking dildo.
Not a fan.
But I own my house and plenty of expensive shit.
How's your minimum wage "I only earn on tips" job going for you, Amerifat?
Bet Trump made America GREAT for you, poorfag.
If you're lazy, do high rise construction.
You'll earn a ton.
>The fuck are you talking about?
It's when you take the lid of the top tank, take a dump in the top tank, and replace lid.
Get with it, man.
This is a non ausfag design.
The one on your the bottom of your picture is your water inlet, don't touch the cunt.
The one in the middle is your problem area. If it's anything like a good design it will be either able to be undone with a quarter turn to the left, or there may be some clip.
Let us know how you go.
Either way, the rubber at the bottom of that item requires replacing.
> Back to original story, this particular user was known as the Chunder King.
> Used to exclusively drink "Victoria Bitter".
> Otherwise known colloquially as VB
> Or Vomit Bombs.
> Is working man's drink.
> Is what tough men drink.
> Is horrid, but drank for years until I learnededed what real beer tastes like.
> Fast forward many years.
> Be living next to bloke.
> Oi, user, come over for beers!
> Alright NeighbAnon, I will bring some of my fine coopers reds!
> No it's ok, I've got plenty of beer.
> Refusing another man's beer in Ausfaglia is criminal enough to get you REdeported as convict.
> Fuck resettle, will drink beer.
> Go over there.
> NeighbAnon has VB.
> In cans. NOT stubbies.
> Stubbies are small bottles for you uneducated non colonist unconvict foreign fucks.
> Drink cans of VB all night.
> Go home.
> Chunder my guts out.
Cont.
how should I clean my bathtub pipes in my rent appartment? The water isn't draining as quickly as it should.
> Fast forward next night.
> Come home.
> Feel like shit.
> NeighBanon says "Come over for more beer!"
> Refusal will cost me Ausfag citizenship.
> Drink more vomit bombs.
> Come home.
> Chunder so hard I have to re-ingest my lungs.
> Sudden realisation.
> What the fuck.
> I haven't chundered in years!
> What the fuck is going on?
> The last time I chundered was when....
> OH SHIT.
> WHEN I LAST DRANK VB 4-5 FUCKING YEARS AGO.
Needless to say, despite this amazing and delicious Coopers Red being 5.8% alc vol and 1.7 standard drinks per stubby, old PlumbAnon has not had a fucking chunder since, no matter how many of these wonderous and heavy alc brews he's had.
Try some! :D
Thanks bro
Vented conventional or sealed with combi?
Plunger.
If the plunger doesn't fix it, it's either a pipe issue, or a GROUND DRAIN issue. Which may mean tree roots, and a plumber.
If you're renting, it means your landlord has to pay for it.
Try a cheap plunger first from your local cheap chinese shop or 2 dollar shop or whatever.
Once you've done that, if your landlord tries to tell you it's hair or other shit, tell them that no, your plumber mate told you to use a plunger like a champ and that will move hair, and you rewarded him with tits.
If that doesn't work, it's either rusty galvanised iron pipes, or if not gal pipes, it is sewer roots that need a plumber.
Either way it's up to the landlord to fix.
I just don't drink tap water
You're most welcome user.
Reward with tits and let me know how you go, if you have more troubles, send more pics and I'll try to help from a foreign land.
Tipping culture is conducive to better service
Ok, so if you obviously haven't read the thread, you don't know I'm a fucking Ausfag.
I'm guessing vented conventional means your open air, minimum 1m above the house, and your combi means a studor mini.
In which case the answer is I don't give a fuck either way, because I know you're baiting for "You're not a real plumber".
It's been done before, and shut down every time cunt, go suck start a shotgun.
Welllllll.
What a heroic fag we have.
Either the water in your town is so hard you can't drink it.
Or so flouridic or chlorinic you can't drink it without boiling it.
Or it's perfectly fine and you're just one of those fags that actually BELIEVES that bottled water is better for you.
Either way I don't care.
Ask plumbing questions/post tits/get out. Not fussed.
thx mate, gonna try the plunger because it's probably just hair.
No, I was asking for advice on the type of central heating system would be best in your opinion, but seeing ass you appear to be such a sensitive little soul who'd rather rage than answer, I'll wish you good day.
Yup.
Except when people who live on shit wages who can't afford to tip well can't afford to tip other poor people on shit wages.
Enjoy the poverty line cunt.
It gives you better SERVICE.
Idiot.
Theres your tits good sir and ill keep informed
Great work brave user!
Don't buy the best and brightest, buy the cheapest, or borrow one, make the landlord pay the rest.
Thanks for the tits! :D
Ohhhh yes user. I could tell that by the highly vague reference.
Glad you left my thread.
Glad you did so because the door hit your arse on the way out.
Thankyou brave user, glorious tits. :D
>I could tell that by the highly vague reference.
I'm not a fucking plumber. You could simply have asked for clarification, but oh, no - not you.
I bet you excel at customer service and the only reason you post on Sup Forums is you can't get any repeat plumbing business.
Fuck you
>Glad you left my thread
>my thread
fucking simpleton
Lol.
Clarification is not necessary if you're clear from the start. Like every other person in this thread.
The reason you stand when using your computer is because the butthurt is real.
Fuck we have a plumbing problem. How do you fix a problem were your bowel keeps filling and you empty it in the weird bowl in that little smelly room and wash it down with water but the smell stays?
Hmm...
Less vague than that vented/combi faganon, but require more clarity.
Photo please?
What's your favorite kind of trap? Which one is easiest to work with?
>Or it's perfectly fine and you're just one of those fags that actually BELIEVES
Brita filter man, it's the only way
Old copypaste
how does this shit look?
Why do you get to charge $150 ONTOP of your rediculous rates because you used a 'leak detector' . Isnt this just part of your regular kit and service?
No shit it cost me $350 for one of you lot to sodder up a pipe under a paved footpath. Took him half an hour.
Fucking criminals.
The variety that are less brass/gal than the ye olde variety.
And the ones that are far less plastic than the current cancer that is flooding Sup Forums.
Do you ever eat the shit out of a blocked toilet ?
My plumber ripped me off two, but I was buying meth...
Supply and demand
Dunno where you live brave user.
But I'm from a part of melbourne where the water is SO CLEAR you don't need filters.
And yet it's full of STUPID FAGGOTS who will spend countless amounts of dollars on filters and bottled water just so that they don't have to drink THE THIRD CLEANEST WATER IN THE WORLD from the tap.
You understand I'm a bit fucking skeptical, brave user. ;)
Copper or hep?
Beautiful
Old it may be, brave user.
Still my OWN copy pasta.
Yes I have saved it.
Yes I will rehash it where required.
Yes I will write OC if you request it, like the beer one as requested.
Sup Forumsro plz help me with this:
You know the connection in between the shower hose and the tap? Well mine is leaking alot therefore decreasing pressure, I have a new one but the old one is completly calcified and I can't take it off.
Any advice on that?
copper, my pops helped me. Now i know why plumbers get paid so much. shit is time consuming.
Vinegar owns calcium, trust me I'm a chemist...
Our water probably comes from Lake Ontario but they add too much chlorine to it
Bravo to the person who has started it and not yet finished it.
But I don't trust that crimp shit.
Anything like it, and "sharkbite" that give a 20 year guarantee can bite my sweaty crack.
I don't want to buy a house only to find out I have to bust out the plaster in 20 years and replace it, the tiles and the copper work because some fuckshit lazy dildo put crimp fittings in rather than solder/compression.
I keked hard last year when I read it, if you're that plum/b/er I love you
Ok, here's the deal user.
If you can find a leak by digging, you do it.
If it's such a mystery you can't find it, or you know endless days of digging won't find it, you find a leak detector.
Leak detectors pay about 15k for their equip, so they charge through the arse.
Sometimes it's cheaper to get a leak detector than it is to dig for days, you have to weigh up the likelyhood.
If somebody just called one out without even looking, they are a scumbag and a faggot and should not call themselves a plumber, because they are a bum fuck rippoff and I feel sorry for you brave user, because there was no way you could know until it was too late.
Which means whoever did it should fucking take a long walk off a short pier.
No. Go eat a packet of ratsak, and let some poor filthy rodents retain the lives they deserve so we can rid the planet of filth like you.
Good.
Overdose.
yeah its 100% solder welded. Building a nice shower in my basement and trying to do it right.
Not at these prices!
Unfortunately brave user, there is one solution.
Bust out tiles, bust out behind it, cut it out and replace it.
It's a lot of hard work, and near impossible to replace tiles with matching ones unless you have some old ones stored under the house.
However brave user, youtube is your friend, if you ever need to know how to fix shit, it's your best solution.
On a well, how can I fiddle with my expansion tank etc. so as to increase my water pressure?
Turn the knob on your hot-water heater.
My toilet is broken right now seriously. The tank isn't filling with water anymore, and yes the water is turned on. What is the problem?
Fair enough brave user. Fair enough.
I am indeed the one and only Plum/b/user, brave user. Glad to hear I still have somebody who remembers me.
Cheers mate. :D
In that case mate, you're well on the right track and bravo.
I'm assuming one overhead "spread" shower, one hand shower and one bath?
Otherwise I have no idea what the one on the right is for. Gonna use a ministop to mitigate it?
Your water isn't turned on, turn it on.
Where you from in aus?
in my previous career as a cook i worked in several different strip clubs -- all of which had plumbing (drainage) issues... i speculated that this was from strippers flushing too many tampons and miscarriages down the toilet...
was i right?
it is, goddamnit i said it is
Kek. Bravo user, bravo.
Ok, by expansion tank I'm guessing one of those hot water tanks that sits in the ceiling and runs off gravity pressure?
Mate, there's two ways to fix that. Those things run fine and hot pressure to the taps it's the showers that suck.
Remove shower head, remove any flow restrictors, if that doesn't fix it, drill the flow holes wider.
One of three things.
1. Your pipes are galvanised iron. They're rusted up on the inside and they aren't letting water through.
2. The inlet rubber on your water inlet is fucked. Jiggle the float valve a few times. If that doesn't fix it, something may be wrong with the rubber.
3. The inlet filter to your water inlet is fucked.
Post pictures so I can explain better.
You worked as a cook AND a stripper, though life...
You will also receive a bill in the mail.
Melbourne.
As above.
If anything, tampons are highly likely, shoddy strip club owners refusing to fix shit are probably a higher possibility.
That wasn't me, that was an trollolololoanon
Fuck was hoping in a small chance youd be local to me then be looking for an apprentice lmao
What are your options about the products of McAlpine syphons?
No one wants you for an apprentice, you neckbeard schmuck.
wish I had a neckbeard
Yeah sorry brave user. Apprenticeships are a bastard to take on in Aus.
You start out paying them above min wage, and you get a bit from govt, but by the time they're fourth year, you practically need enough work to keep you and them sustained full time and are practically paying their wage before yours. No thanks.
Nasty and plastic, like your whore of a mother.
fug
Your best option is suicide...
Anything that is syphonic is pretty much obsolete in Ausfaglia.
Seen one or two siphonic toilets here. They clog and overflow like bitches.
Seen one siphonic cistern in malaysia, refused to flush until it was so full it was wasting water.
This is why a dry country like ausfaglia doesn't deal with syphonic shit.
Send me a photo brave user, let's see if we can tackle this head on.
Isnt it fucken sick trying to then find an apprenticeship while being in an over populated area to ratio of work
What was the largest stool you found so far and how stinky?
Apprenticeships are a ripoff, sell yourself as a prostitute like
Which knob?
Yeah. And yet people still vote in cunts like Trump and Abbott.
Not like I can do anything lmao cant vote
The red one, turn it left until you hear a hiss. This mean flowing water.