I'm a Forestry Technician. Ask me anything about trees

I'm a Forestry Technician. Ask me anything about trees.

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How big are tress?

Why are trees such faggots?

how much tree is wood?

What is the greatest tree?

The only way to tell is to stick it up your ass
They are noble and ancient beings
almost all of it
white pine

why do i get a raging erection with spruce?

Why did you kill that tree with your magic doohicky

Whats a fast growing tree with with thick foliage and good drought and heat tolerance for the south central US?

You are truly omniscient

how do you deal with morning wood?

Because spruce are sexy
I had to in order to measure it.

It's not like I took the hypocratic oath or anything
Not sure I'm only interested in Canadian species.

Out of the Canadian species I think Tamarac fits the bill but there might be something better.
I usually just wait it out before I go to the toilet.

do trees feel pain?
what makes white pine superior to other trees?
why did you want to be a tree technician?

No they don't
It's the biggest in Ontario and I really like the look
Didn't want to work in an office.

>tree technician

how is it living at poverty level?

do you think the trees love you back?
have you ever given a tree a name?

A tree raped my mom once. Why don't you guys do anything to stop it?

Last year some dicks from the town painted this on my neighbors tree. I assumed that it meant the tree needs trimming. But it was a year ago, why hasn't anything been done? Why are the town workers useless lazy cunts? Pic related.

whats the craziest thing you have found in a tree?

thas an umbrella you fucking troglodyte

Fresh air fills the lungs
I've talked to trees while high on mushrooms. Can't remember what I called him tho.
Trees are pacifists, your mom was asking for it.
I have no idea I'm not an arborist. Are there power lines near by?
1/2 carved red pine canoe that was at least 1000 years old

I hope you are an undergrad, otherwise how does it feel working a job that will never pay well?

your virginity

I intend on becoming a Registered Professional Forester (RPF) at some point.

If a tree falls over in a forest, and it doesn't have its life alert necklace on, how does a tree tech like you even know how to get to the trees in need?

>1000 years old

go back to school

Is ur name Dave?

How did you get into this field? Does it pay well? What region do you live in? Big Big fan of trees by the way

no, its steve

i got fucked by a tree and enjoyed it, yes i earn $3m+ a day, i live in ontario

We make prescriptions for the whole stand, not individuals.
Your mom is 1000 years old
Yes
Just sounded interesting. 1 year college diploma north of Ottawa Ontario.

do you plan on fighting for an industry in Canada?? or just ride out the wave of stagnation with more raw logs that are only debarked then magically labelled as processed. Debarking is a prerequisite to be able to process the timber IMO.

Dude, I live in ontario. Hook me up

Have you ever in case the wood on the side resuscitated?

The flag has a leaf on it for a reason
I would, only if i wanted to do more look like. What?

Do you ever smoke trees when you're on the job?

Yup

Be careful man. You don't want the labor board of ontario finding out that. You wont even get ei if that happens

How's the bark beetle increase affecting your forests? Human encroachment is causing huge issues here. I've found four different species in one stand.

Would you like to buy my ms200t for 1,000 USD

I've been having technical issues with my tree. I don't believe it is functioning properly. What do?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to witness it, does it make a noise?

I don't know anything current. That's a west coast issue.

Call an arborist.

have you tried cutting it down and replanting it

Why do you guys work so hard to prevent forest fires to the point where tree density and fuel levels are so high that when fires do get going they are almost impossible to stop? Why do controlled natural burns to clean up fuel and restore meadowlands for wildlife?

Do you ever get laid because of your career? Do bitches love Forestry Technicians?

how did NAFTA effect the industry? are outlooks better now with Trump or worse. It seems countries only really want out bitumen and raw logs are just a bonus...

Who you think taught you to smoke trees?

why wont my tree talk to me like it used to?

You posted that pic a week ago. Why did you come back faggot

is god real

talk dirty to tree

To protect the value in the forest (wood fiber)
NAFTA is a total POS for Canadian softwood.
There was a "softwood lumber crisis".
Self taught
Pills. You're better off on the meds, though,
I'm always here.
Probably

Do trees have feels

Who speaks for the trees?

I was thinking of getting a tree as a pet.
Which ones would you recomend for somebody who doesnt have a lot of space in their backyard?

a lot of "free spirited" hippie types in forestry... especially wherever tree planting is concerned. If your into the unshaven, unshowered type then yes.... otherwise the ones that excel in forestry are usually butch.

What is this I don't even

I bet he smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe

I'm in the Chicago area, and I have ash trees.

Are they fucked because of the emerald ash borer? Should I just let them die or make an effort to save them? They are 40 - 50 years old trees.

Are dendrophiles thrown out of school?

what elements constitutes wood?

japanese maple... all the kids will think your edgy cause it looks like pot.

Missed your question. Answer is kindof.

There is a big difference between hot girls, and what I call bush hot girls.

There's 1 meh chick in the class and like 30 guys, she looks hot AF.

You meet her a year later in the city and she's just not even a little bit attractive.
It's frowned uppon
Carbon
Dubs confirm. Those are nice trees I'm getting one myself.

You should be fine. There aren't a lot of trees in the city so illness moves slowly.

You should be able to find out how to heal them online or call an arborist.

Recently I heard something to the tune of plants having some kind of conciousness, a neuronal network between roots and leavy, greeny part. The talk went so far that it called the plants out for hiding their conciousness, but presenting their genitals to the world.
I guess what I want to ask, is if Sup Forumstards have some striking similarities with plants.

inb4 vegetarians either are oblivious to the suffering they cause defenseless plants or they do it deribelately.
>monsters

Just saw this the other day
youtube.com/watch?v=wsbhLAqbcaM

Are you happy?

Is this thread dead?

youtube.com/watch?v=v7BEptoDW24

In the book "Brian's Winter" there's a part where trees start freezing and exploding because of pressure built up inside the tree as liquids inside the tree freeze and expand. Is that a thing that actually happens?

is the existential questioning neccessary?

Dead as Canada's Forest Industry. Say hello to a decade of the crudest crude we can pull out of the ground for profits of pennies on the dollar. a few corporations are going to be rich until the markets fall on their ass again.

I think they tried this on mythbusters, google it

not OP, but yea that happens, but only if really fucking cold, like siberian level

Ayy my nigga, im a forestry techician too!

Yep. Frost cracking. You can hear it on a really cold night in the woods.

Cool where at? Are you employed?

How can I tell when a large tree (in my yard) is past its prime and on the way to becoming dangerous?

What kind of tree is it?

who taught you to smoke them?

what is tree

Hungary. Not yet, but there might be a job oppurtunity.

Would you say hungarian forestry is advanced?

I learned a little about german forestry and it's cool what they do.

>i got fucked by a tree and enjoyed it, yes i earn $3m+ a day, i live in ontario
That was steve, not a tree.

tree fiddy

I FUCKING LOVE DICHOTOMOUS KEYS

do you eat a burger?

did that little hand held piece of glass help you confirm that it is tree?

It's used to measure how much wood there is in a stand

How do you promote single trunk sapling growth from a black cherry that is in cold zone 4.

Well, it depends on what you compare it to. After the fall of the USSR, hungary was a real post communist shithole, at least regarding forestry. It took many years, but I think the work paid off, our forests are nice, healthy and doubled in size since the "system change".

Dry hump it with your dick out

Cool

Do you use any big fancy machines or are you still using chainsaws?

How am leaves for trees get dirt with sponge?

for some reason I lost

Are there any tree-related conspiracy theories you've heard of?

Maple

They HATE stupid questions and will probably come break down your door.

As someone who is trying to enter the environmental sciences as well, how hard was it for you to find work. I'm applying nationwide for oceanographic positions, but the going has been slow, unfortunately.

How does it feel when you fuck the trees? Do they have an anus?

What is the oldest tree we can recieve age data from?

What, trees hate stupid questions?