Hey guys, it's me again. Still periodically checking in, since my search hasn't turned anything up yet

Hey guys, it's me again. Still periodically checking in, since my search hasn't turned anything up yet.

Here's a recap for those who haven't seen one of my posts, I'm looking for a place to order a tapeworm of the beef variety, so I can lose some weight in time for my upcoming wedding. I've been scouring the dark web to no avail, and I made a post on craigslist to inquire about it. I live in very far south Texas, so I'm very close to the border, and I figured hey, maybe some mexican housewife who trolls CL for hookups is going to get bored one day and chance upon my post and know exactly someone who sells them. Waiting on that, but my hopes aren't high. Anyway, can anyone help me in my search? It's much appreciated, and I'll pay any price.

inb4 just exercise fatass, take cocaine instead, you're so stupid, don't do this, etc. I've read a lot about them these past few days, and they're virtually benign. They are undetectable until you either start pooping some of their segments, or are losing weight. Other than that, I don't face any fear of health unless I let my nutrient levels drop, in which case I'll be taking supplements as well as eating normally, so I'll be fine. I really beg you for your help!

Other urls found in this thread:

imdb.com/title/tt2061869/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Also, I wish the person that posted this about their girlfriend using pinworms for the same effect would come back. It sounds like he knew where to get such things.

since you know so much about them then you should know where to find them in nature

The only place is in cows. When a cow eats a certain nematode, it turns into a Beef Tapeworm, or the Taenia Saginata, and it's from that I need a grub or sample of to infect myself. They unfortunately don't just turn up in nature like in the dirt or something.

If you're not trolling, know that they won't help. They aren't going to magically absorb all your excess fat. What they will do is absorb the nutrients you intake, and leave you with the excess fat.

You'd have to, honestly, be a complete fucking idiot to think this was a good idea.

totally legit

Sorry, but no. That's not how they work. They reside in your lower intestine, and eat off of the digested food paste that your stomach creates after the acid breaks down the solid food. They physically eat from that paste, while your intestines are absorbing what they don't get. It's a solid, across-the-board reduction in total calories, fat, lipids, proteins, etc. They really do work this way, but too many retards got really sick from not supplementing with vitamins, the government had to ban them, something that truly works.

You're a fucking idiot, dude. You'll still have excess fat because your diet is garbage, and in addition, you'll be competing with parasites for vital nutrients.

Anyway, you disgust me, stay pleb and prole as fuck, I guess.

Every paper I've read about their symptoms, testimonials, every published document has claimed they cause weight loss. We use parasites and other animals in all kinds of aspects of our society. We use leeches and maggots in the medical field, why the fuck is this so taboo? You've been fed a bunch of bullshit by the media, dude.

Haha Damn yo, my neighbor was just telling me he needed to buy worm medicine for his cows because they got worms from grazing in the field

Exercise and eat well, its not rocketscience

It's not taboo, it's way too stupid to be taboo. It's just squarely in the "are you retarded?" category.

You know what else "causes weight loss"? AIDS/HIV, Cancer, Parkinson's and even heart failure. Anyway, it sounds like this is evolution in action, so do whatever the fuck you want. Make sure to let everyone know so you get the Darwin award.

You're resorting to a tape worm because you're too lazy to work out and eat right. That's the bottom line of every thread you've made.

oh fuck, hey seriously, if you would root through their droppings and find some worms, hey I will pay top dollar man. Keep in touch in these threads

He's lazy though, he wants to lose weight while sitting and he's to poor to eat healthy and to dumb to rashin his food

>leeches and maggots
>in the year of our lord 2017
shit tier troll. what the fuck is this, 1776?

Let me guess, you're just "pretending" to be retarded?

Dude I'll send you a bag of shit and you can pick them yourself. They look pretty nasty and I don't know if id want that lving in me. How long do they live outside the cow so I can get the freshest pile? Also post pic of yourself without a shirt and timestamp so I know youre being serious

quads of truth

Im somewhat a fat fuck
I know there are some diet suited for diff ppl but I would never resort to use a freaking worm to lose weight

It's not even about being lazy. I have so much shit to deal with now, the process that goes into a wedding is a lot more than you think dude. I can't be spending two hours a day at a gym man, I can't do it.

reduce your daily food intake by the amount you would anticipate a tapeworm infestation to consume in a day

>the process that goes into a full blown wedding
Ftfy. I don't give a fuck what she's milking out of you. Go down to Dicks, buy some weights, and do bodyweight excercises at home while you're sitting on your fat ass watching netflix with her before bedtime.

the answers are all in this film which i highly recommend: imdb.com/title/tt2061869/

The segments dry up quickly enough, but when it breaks open there's eggs inside. What you'd be looking for are these white strands. If they're being medicated though, it probably won't be worth trying, but if you know one hasn't gotten medicine yet, and you can actually see the worms in their poop, yeah, get in contact with me through these threads. I'll get the money rolling if you can show me you've got one.

It's a ticking timebomb m8, they can kill you.

I seriously, genuinely don't even eat that much. I skip breakfast and lunch daily for a big dinner. I fear cutting food intake too much might be triggering my body's ''survival mode'', where it knows calorie intake is dropping, so to start storing fat more, because I seriously don't know how I haven't been dropping. I'm not a tremendous guy, I'm 180 pounds, but I would still be able to see if there's been a change, and there hasn't.

You don't even have to lift a fucking finger, dude. You don't have to do any fucking thing to lose weight except eat less. It doesn't take exercise, it doesn't take gym, it takes you not eating as much and your body will naturally lose weigh. You're eating too fucking much. That's one LESS thing you need to do. It isn't complicated.

No, they can't. The dangerous ones are Pork Tapeworms, those can spread to your brain, eyes, liver, etc. but Beef Tapeworms remain in your lower intestine. They have suckers, not hooks, to remain in place, they are really just helpful. All kinds of animals use parasites in some way for their benefit, such as alligators and birds, whales and barnacles, sharks and ospreys, even those freaky bugs that eat the fish's tongue and replace it. In fact, there are foreign bodies inside us RIGHT NOW that perform various tasks for your gut fauna. If I can introduce a parasite that serves me well, and it will be served well, why not? Also, to that fuck that was suggested leeches and maggots are ancient forms of medicine, holy fuck you're stupid.

>willing to swallow a tapeworm to lose weight
>we're the dumbasses
confirmed shit tier b8.

And how is it a dumbass thing? You're looking at something you don't understand, you haven't done as much research on it as me, and you're just calling me a dumbass for the sake of it. You don't know what you're talking about.

Dude I just read that a worm can't intake enough in a day to make a difference. You need to eat three meals a day instead of one big dinner. You can eat a large breakfast but you shouldn't be eating a large dinner. Breakfast gets your metabolism started.
Also beef worms can cause the cyst that spread through your blood as well

tape worms lay eggs

Go ask /fit/.