Feels thread cont

Feels thread cont.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=i9J27RaDr5M
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

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Bumping for rest of story from failed relationship dj fag

bump

My entire exsitence

I've never had a gf and this is still my greatest fear

Became the "manipulative bad-boy", best decision of my life.

Is someone capping "relationships suck" Sup Forumsros thread?

im the one who posted the pic, and i can definitely agree with you. all these fucks need to try it

care to explain?

I would but I have no fucking clue how to piece it together. It'll be a shame if it 404s
t. complete computer illiterate

> mfw I also have become that
Except people think I'm a crazy asshole and avoid me

archived.moe is a thing

If it's still up, archive.is will take a screenshot for eternity.

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Happystorybro here:

>she dgaf i'm not a virgin
>lol tbh we fuck like rabbits after a few months
>end of 98 i get a job
>she's with me
>by my side
>kind, loyal, sweet, beautiful
>still drives me wild
>1998 to 2000, I'm jet-setting all over the country
>2000, lose my job
>she's still with me
>2001 become delivery driver
>she's still with me
>2002 we go to our first anime convention together
>2003 we cosplay at that convention, perform a skit, WIN!
>2004 i get a new better job
>2008 leave it because boss is an alcoholic crackhead
>also start playing in praise band at a church
>i play guitar, she plays drums
>2010 get a much better it job, but boss is still kind of a dick
>2011
>after almost 13 years together, D and i get married
>she'd been living with her parents
>i'd been living with my sister
>now we live together in a shitty apt
>2012, we leave the shitty apt and rent a house, and i get an even better job
>2014
>we start our own fucking band, lol
>she still plays drums, i still play guitar
>i lose my job
>2015, get a new job, still there, still love it
>lose bassist, so, SURPRISE! she plays bass lol
>2016, 2017
>we're both older now
>we've "adopted" a number of young adult children, one a former band member

cont'd, epilogue pending
In conclusion, I hope I demonstrated that I fully understand the absolute feeling of desolation, rejection, worhtlessness, and depression that results from when "the one" turns out to not be.
There is no "one" for any of us. There are many "ones" out there we could get together with, and I am STILL a hopeless romantic, and I STILL love my wife very much. We're a little older now, and a little fatter, but I still desire her more than anyone else, and she has always been there for me since 1998.
Do not let those early feelings stop you. Do NOT let them discourage you. Get your shit together, work, and do NOT let your relationship status dictate your sense of self worth! Gotta go, about to leave work lol.

its gone forever

user who originally requested Breakupbro's story here, eagerly awaiting epilogue

Not difficult. Basically be a piece of shit, pretend to care but clearly make sexual advances. Make plans for the future quickly. You have to try a lot, regardless of who you are you just won't be a lot of girls "type". Basically my method is
>Take them on one date with no advances
>Go on second and smashthepussy.jpeg
>Stop replying to them
That's all there is to it, and I know I'm a piece of shit, I've got many phone calls crying and suicide threats. That's how it goes, it didn't really start until I got into a really dark place. My value for life went down and so did my value for others. I don't know, but I don't want to stop. Has become my #1 pastime.

Here. If the thread's still here when I get home, I'll answer questions.

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my hands up anons

>bad boy

Kek. 6'3" 220 LBS
I would throw you outside and fuck your girl. Sit down son

You've given me hope user, might as well give my story now. I haven't lived a fraction of my life yet so it's still very much incomplete but I feel like I owe it to both these threads

Pic related, the pic that Happystorybro said was totally not true

youre lucky user, i cant ask someone out, i dont even really think about loving someone anymore.
at least it works for you, godspeed

stroke your cock elsewhere user. is feels thread

Emailed to myself. If thread still here, I'll repost the whole thing. If not, I'll post it in another feels thread.

Gotta go home to sweet bassist wife. :-D

I don't share this to gloat and show I'm superior. I share it to show that ANYONE can find someone, but that that's not the end-all be-all to life.

If I can do it, so can you.

I'm 40 now, btw, and loving the fuck out of life!

Yeah but I could fuck your girlfriend. (Honestly would kick your ass too, 6'0, 190, semi-pro kickboxer)
Sit down fag

This is literally me.
I was with her for 3 years and she left me 8 months ago. I stayed loyal to her and she left me because she didn't love me and didn't want to waste my time. Now she has a boyfriend and she is very happy with him. We still text each other every now and then and it hurts me so much. I hate my life. I can't stop thinking about her and I wish I can stop.

B... but..... that's what *I* thought!

You don't have to hit any specific benchmarks at any ages, user. It's never too late.

I never picked up a guitar until I was 17, and now I'll be playing a show with a founding member of Misfits in a month and a half.

You CAN do it! Whenever anyone told me shit like that when I was younger, I was like, "Nah, that only applies to normal people, not me..."

You have to cut her off. You won't stop otherwise.

>Cuck boxer

Sit down faggot. you make me laugh.
Been doing Muay Thai for 10 years and fought real professionals.

>Wannabe Asian cuck
I've been trained in gorilla warfare so lie down on the ground in fetal position faggot.

Is that your pussy talking user? I've done muy Thai for 12 years and 6'5 215. If this were prison, you'd be my girlfriend.

holy quads user
being a kissless virgin with no ambition to love someone has been my life for a while, after i left my home as a teen and still cant go back, it hurts
people took pity on me, when i moved up there, in my first year a guy only sat and talked to me 'because the other people at my table said i was doing a good thing for you'
i wanted to tell him to fuck off but i just looked down
never gonna be normal again?

>Be me, 7 years old and in P3 (British for third grade)
>First day of the year, teacher says there are three new kids joining the class
>Little kid me is excited by new classmates
>One of the new kids is a girl called E, don't give her a second glance at the time

Something to bear in mind is the fact that I was really late when it came to giving a fuck about girls. I didn't have any kind of libido at all until I was like 13 and mostly lived in blissful ignorance of the whole thing

>Anyway, later on in the day E approaches me and asks if I remember her
>lolwut
>turns out we were close friends back when we were 2-3 years old and lived in England
>I moved to Scotland before my long term memory barely had a chance to develop, she'd only moved just now
>I'm a shy but good-hearted kid so I try my damn hardest to remember her but sadly no cigar
>Apologise and say I don't remember much at all, she seems disappointed
>When going home mum asks whether I remember going round to her place all the time
>tells me about a bunch of kid shit like running up and down the stairs, having fairy cake food fights etc.
>oh shit, memories start flooding back
>feel bad but too awkward to say anything so I just leave it

Kick boxer, literally muay thai. You ever want to fight a REAL professional let me know. Not your shitty 20$ a month gym fags. How bad does it feel to know I could fuck you and your wife in the ass?

Hits too close. I broke up with my gf a month ago after she had been cheating on me. She talked about how she could never find a guy better than me. She admired how protective I was over her, how I treated her like the queen she was. But she was extremely bipolar and not taking medication. When the episode started I just became her punching bag and it was exhausting, but as long as it was helping her feel better it made me feel better. Then she starts flirting with other guys. I try to stop it but she says I'm being too nosey, found out she started cheating on me the same week we broke up. She gets with some new fuck boy who only talks to her for sex. She treats me like crap. One night she lets me know that she will never find a guy as caring and amazing as me. Then go's back to treating me like crap.

user can you fuck my dirty little ass too?

Sit down fat ass. No one feels at danger by some faggot bragging about fighting on social media

Of course son. With pleasure.

6'10" 280LBS master race here. You guys are shrimps. Sit down

I could fuck you in the ass too.

maybe he should have smiled at them, then he would get some back

I just want someone for me user, manipulating people for money and love was something I used to do, until it drove me into a pit of true loneliness that I'm in now.

You are a human being.

You have just as much worth as anyone else.

You deserve to be treated better than a pity case.

I know it's difficult to believe that when the world and society and people have worn you down.

Your brain is maybe wired a little differently than other people's. I'm sure mine is. That doesn't make you stupid or weird.

It just means that someone is going to be rewarded by getting to know who you are when they take the time to.

What do you like to do in general?

...

Congrats you want an award for that

>Skip to P6
>Can't remember exactly when but at some point E and I go back to being friends
>Not as close as my guy friends but we sit at the same table, partner up all the time in PE etc.
>I'm a diagnosed borderline sperg who's this weird combination of shy goody-two-shoes and loud goofy class clown
>She's even more shy than I am, quiet, seems content to just exist and is always happy to be around me
>The first couples start forming in the class, kids start joking that we're totally a couple too
>I nonchalantly laugh it off every time
>She does too, though also seems to blush and look away whenever its mentioned
>Jesus, she looks so adorable when she's flustered
>Her cute shy girl thing is so mesmerizing
>I have to keep darting my eyes whenever I look at her to avoid losing myself in her crystal blue eyes
>Holy fuck, I think I'm starting to get feelings for her

me too user. me too. i hurt a lot

Been texting this chick and she hasn't texted me back in a few hours. Would it be beta to double text her and ask her to come thru to a party tonight? She wanted to hang out last night but I couldn't.

Replying to the picture. Love is an amazing thing. With the right person. It doesn't mean you shouldn't go out and find people to love even if you end up heartbroken, its just a learning experience. But when you find love with the right person it's an amazing thing. Something that I haven't found yet, still trying to recover from a past relationship. It really does hurt when you breakup with someone you loved, but it's recover able. But when it's the right person you won't need to worry about losing them.

you are overthinking the situation. don't worry about being beta. don't ask. tell her there is a party tonight and you hope to see her there. done

im studying IT user, but the fact is that people used to say i 'have a serious face' for a while which i suppose is true, especially since im alone which makes sense
i do computer things; i feel safe only behind a screen (nolifefag?) i walk around the streets of chicago otherwise, blending in and looking around
if one person would like me for more than what i do on a daily basis, frankly id be surprised (generally dirty jokes and fucking around with people as more or less gym friends)
ive never really asked someone out, i just focused on my work until i realised i feel like im fucked

Idk maybe just apologize that you couldn't hangout yesterday and ask her if she'd want to come tonight.

Thanks user

Just wait until she replies. Never double text. Gay beta shit right there. If she doesn't reply who care fuck it. Don't let it get to you

bad advice user. worrying about being beta should be left behind in in gradeschool. anyway you saying fuck it don't care is contradictory to worrying about being beta in the first place. Not trying to be a dick, just don't want to lead this user astray. God speed user, keep us updated

Good luck m8

Ah, Chicago... I went there back in 2000. I like to say I invented scooter dancing on the streets of Chicago then. As far as I know, I did!

Well, IT is my bag too. And in my original posts I really glossed over my job situation, but from 98 to 2000 I went all over the country installing systems for stock brokers.

I fucked up that gig and wound up doing other menial jobs after.
Talk about shit... Getting fired from IT right as the dotcom bubble popped!

Walking around a city without interacting with people and just watching them instead can be rewarding in its own way.

But "serious face" or no there are people who can see past that. But you won't meet them by hiding.

This may sound goofy, but consider finding a local theater club. Consider acting.

I'll let you in on a little secret: I'm not normal. I can pass for a relatively well-adjusted normie, but it's an act.

I'm not saying this like it's a deep dark secret. In fact, I think most people are acting when they behave "normally". It just comes more naturally to people who aren't like us.

That drama club thing, aside from enabling my first heartbreak, was a great experience for me.

It's never too late.

Bro I'm simply telling him to move on. If she doesn't reply then fuck it. He shouldn't worry about it and text her again. If she really wants to hang out she would reply.

i c i c

>We continue being friends and I act as though nothing's changed
>The three years between P6-S1 (that's 6th-8th grade for you burgers) were the best years of my life
>I had two separate groups of friends that were both tons of fun to hang out with
>Loads of fun little kid antics
>Loads of fond memories of school events that made me feel so alive
>And of course there was E, whose presence always gave me that warm fuzzy feeling
>Still never told her how I really felt, was really good at hiding it too
>I wasn't sure whether she felt the same way; the way she acted around me suggested she was in the same boat - having a crush but being too scared to pursue it
>I noticed every time her actions suggested having a crush on me, yet I still did nothing to validate them
>In hindsight that was the single most stupid decision I ever made, and I kept making it every day

One particularly vivid memory to emphasise my point:
>Every year in secondary school we have a school ceilidh at the end of Winter term
For non-Scottish fags out there, a ceilidh is a huge traditional dance event with kilts, bagpipes, ridiculous fast-paced jigs, basically a ballroom full of Scot stereotypes. Fun as fuck.

>Few weeks of PE before ceilidh are used to practice the different couple and group dances
>Our first year doing this, we're all 11-12 year old immature kiddos who laugh/cringe at the idea of holding hands alone
>Naturally everyone is super awkward and can't wait for it to end, myself included
>Last session before the event, we're all told to choose our partners ourselves
>Fuck, this is literally my worst imagined scenario
>No confidence in my looks or social skills - let alone opposite-sex social skills - whatsoever
>Just sit and hope the teacher doesn't notice I'm doing fuckall
>E comes up to me out of nowhere, asks me if I'd like to go with her in that cute shy fashion of hers
>Holy balls, is this actually happening?

used to think i was going to commit suicide after my mother die....but im reaching a point where i cant take it anymore and cant imagine another 20+ years like this
i guess im a selfish idiot

She texted me back and l told her to come thru...waiting on a response

Friendly reminder, everyone:
youtube.com/watch?v=i9J27RaDr5M

Shes coming niggas

Good shit man. Let me come over?

Hah, I think I genuienly managed to block out the feeling of trust of love in my life.

I had a long distance relationship with some emo girl that I absolutely loved to bits.

Long story short, she kind of "cheated" on me with another guy, where she kissed him on her 18th. I got triggered and didn't talk to her for months. We get back togehter but I can't feel that connection for her again.

Now, I completely called it off on my own terms, haven't talked since early Feb.

I don't mind it. This is actually fine. I'm just worried that down the road it might fuck me since I don't have that feeling of trust or love anymore.

I've always felt that way too user. I no longer dream. The only thing that has made me feel life's worth living has been opiates. I've been clean for years though. I still feel awful. I don't want to be here. I can't do that to my poor mother. I've fascinated about picking up and overdosing after she's gone before. It makes me feel sick to think that, but i can't help it. I'm sorry

>I can feel the spaghetti leaking, struggle to act natural
>All I can say is "sure", somehow manage to sound casually enthusiastic without sperging out
>Day comes
>Try to find her while everyone forms a circle, end up on the complete other side of the hall with some randomly selected girl who clearly wants to be anywhere else
>Never bring this up again

>Feelings continue throughout Secondary school but start to slowly regress until there's barely anything left by S4
>She ends up leaving school at the end of the year while I stay on to graduate in S6
>Too beta and no longer interested, I don't even say goodbye

>Life goes on
>Ever since my crush faded I start going through a hormonal phase literally every time a girl starts talking to me
>I'll develop a crush after like a day and then a month later it's gone and a new one's taken its place
>Discovered porn masturbation at 13, became more uninterested in IRL girls as a result

>On an unrelated note I started noticing a mild depression around S2 (12 years old) that snowballed into something much more serious as time went on
>My depressing thoughts slowly became my mind's default state
>Mild social anxiety became crippling social anxiety
>Start getting really insecure about myself and get physically scared of other people, even my friends
>Become more quiet and isolated, less confident and terrified of life after school
>Promise myself at age 13 that I'd never live to be 17
>Attempt suicide twice before my 17th birthday and then twice more just last month
Things have started to turn around now thanks to regular psychiatric help and antidepressants, but my recovery is still very much in its early stages

Cont.

yeah i live in the sw burbs and go through downtown if i have the chance
i like to see people who are happy
sitting on a bench near the lake and just watching it, then crying makes me feel good for a while honestly
people dont see past my gazes, they ignore me unless they need help, but of course ill just help someone (outside of school i just tell that purpose to find someone else, im fucking walking cant you see)
putting myself at the center of attention is really offputting, not because im nervous of people, i just dont really want to be seen by everyone, everyone judges someone based on their first time seeing them, for me being some fag who does IT and being for the most part silent isnt a big fuckin turn on for most people
im not a normalfag, this is why we're on Sup Forums man
i see the world for how shit it is, kids joining gangs in chicago
on the outside i wanna be tough, i am tough to them
im just a heartbroken man on the inside

...

coming now, cumming later. Have fun user. More fun than me tonight, I will be sitting here the rest of my night until my sleeping pill knocks me out. Took it extra early today because I don't feel like being awake right now.

I'm not gonna get laid tonight just looking to have a good time. She seems cool and I wanna see what's she all about, you know?

I'm starting to use drugs too,it keeps me out of my head for a little bit and feels good but im a poorfag so dont even have too much money for that
Also yes its a little bit sick to "wait" for my mother to die...i dont know how i have reach this point but im just so tired of everything

You seem like a good guy.

For you

I thought this was a feels thread

These kinds of responses are the bane of my existence.

Thanks guy. I'm kind of a piece of shit but my hearts in the right place.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across theUSAand your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>ppl judge you on first impression

Yeah, and those fucks aren't worth your time.
Srsly, hardest fucking lesson to learn in all my 40 years.

The people who are worth your time WILL look past that.

>ppl judge you on first impression

Yeah, and those fucks aren't worth your time.
Srsly, hardest fucking lesson to learn in all my 40 years.

The people who are worth your time WILL look past that.

I was very much the same way about being scrutinized, not wanting people to have a bad very impression of me.

But I decided not to give a shit. Paradoxically, that's when more people start to seem to like us, after we've stopped trying to appear normal, or like we care what they think.

>fuck this gay earth

Classic

>Cut to my last year of school, S6
>17 years old, still a kissless virgin who had long since forgotten what it was like to be in loved
>Fondly remember and admire the person I used to be while hating the person I am now
>Noone could ever be interested in me, I have literally no appeal whatsoever
>Due to my gradual isolation I only have a small group of friends
>Let's call them Dan, Jim and Jake

>Dan is by far my closest friend
>We've known each other for so long that neither of us remember how we met
>He was always the most charismatic, talented and respected out of all of us and thanks to my regression the gap between us was especially wide
>Nevertheless our bromance couldn't be matched, he was the only person who I was comfortable sharing feels and deep philosophical shit with

>Jim was the definition of beta autist
>Used to be heavily affected by ADHD, thankfully toned down a great deal as times passed
>Socially retarded yet always trying to fit in
>The most lovable dumbass on the planet
>Basically /r9k/ but actually productive
>Jake is an all-round cool guy who acts like the Chad of the group
>Not really much else to say about him, he's a real jack of all trades
>We may be small but we're tight as fuck, even though everyone other than me has another friend group of their own

>Jim is also kissless virgin
>Dan has broken up with two gfs now (and is virgin by choice)
>Jake is on his second gf, we'll call her Cathy
>Noone else in the group knows her at all yet the two of them are constantly making out in front of everyone
>It's super uncomfortable to witness but they're happy so good on them
>After a few weeks of dating Jake gets Cathy into D&D, which we all started playing about a year earlier
>She joins the facebook group chat and becomes tight-knit with the rest of us after only a few days
>We game together for a couple months, everyone likes everyone else
>Then she becomes the object of my latest "crush phase"
>Oh fuck

I know user, I know that feel. I'm sorry. Life can be great at times if fleeting, but in my experience it has been mostly awful. If It wasn't for my family and friends, I would get off at the next exit.

>November 2016, drama starts to form between Jake and Cathy
>It's a long story that I won't go into but it ends with them breaking up and Jake being super pissed at a mutual friend for trying to get with Cathy while they were still together
>Meanwhile I notice her starting to show similar behaviour patterns to myself when I'm at my lowest
>She's not going to school as much
>She's always acting super distant towards everyone
>She's way more quiet than normal
>ohshitredflags.pdf
>Do nothing at first for the sake of not poking my nose into their private domestic issues
>Then she leaves the group chat after a long-winded goodbye message and I decide it's now or never

>Tell her some of my own issues, primarily being scared around people
>Assure her that if she's having personal problems I'll always be there to listen to them and I'll never judge
I was doing this for two reasons: I wanted to get the group back together and I wanted to help someone who seemed to be going through similar shit to me, and be actually useful for once
>We start talking, trading personal stuff back and forth, no need to go into detail
>She's incredibly thankful to have someone willing to reach out and we're both glad to have a companion to share our burdens with
>We both care about each other deeply, think bromance but with the opposite sex
>I let slip that I had a crush on her but make sure to tell her it's probably just a phase
>For the next couple months we're as close as can be, and I'm genuinely happy for the first time in years

>My efforts to get Cathy back in the group end in failure when I discover there was a rumour being passed around that we were flirting behind Jake's back
>I explain what's going on and the others believe me without hesitation, but they refuse to let bygones be bygones and that's the end of that
>Could've gone worse, she's happy to at least have me
>My feelings don't go away like normal however
>They start to grow stronger instead
>My heart's in constant turmoil because of how much I adore her yet can't pursue her for multiple reasons
>After I greatly helped her get over her own emotional confusion involving Jake and the mutual friend she's determined to help me get over mine
>She tries to think of a way to get my feelings to stop again, but I don't want to keep repeating the cycle
>I know what it feels like to love again, I'm not taking that away no matter how much heartache I have to endure
>We continue being friends, eventually she learns about me having never been kissed
>We make out behind the shrubbery at the corner of the school, it's one of the most magical moments of my life
>I could come up with a thousand ways to describe how good the feeling was, especially since I never expected it would ever happen
>I've never been happier since before my depression began
>And so naturally this is where things started to go downhill

>Oh shit, its the last week of revision before prelims
>Can't concentrate on work because of all this passion whirling through my heart like a hurricane
>Decide to tell Dan about it to calm myself down
Now while the drama was going on Dan was keeping out of it. He'd been in a relationship with a manipulative bitch before and he was convinced Cathy was the same kind of girl. He warned me not to let her take advantage of me but - even with all feelings aside - my policy is to never turn my back on someone who has no malicious intent towards me, so I ignored him. I thought he'd at least be happy I finally had my first kiss, but he was mad instead.
>Dan gives me a week to tell Jake about making out with his ex before he tells him instead
>I freak out, partly because I know I fucked up but mostly because I don't want to stop Jake's process of moving on, which is exactly what this would do
>Me and Dan argue about it all night before he cuts me off completely
>I tell Cathy expecting her to facepalm at my pathetic display but she's understanding, and honestly confused by me blaming myself instead of Dan
>She tells me not to worry and that this predicament will be over before I know it
>We remind each other that we'll always have each other's backs no matter what

40yofag here.
Still reading. Please continue!

user misses someone

oh fuck dude this is so inspirational
where's my magic girlfriend?

sorry user my touchscreen on my laptop would register it as a click then i would have to go through the daunting task of moving my cursor up to close out that new tab that the new picture opened in because when you click on an image with multiple fingers it opens in a new tab and i'm too lazy to do that right now

...

...

I was with a girl for almost 2 and a half years. We had issues like everyone else, but I wanted to work things out and she didn't give a fuck. She left and got a new guy in less than a week. But ya know what, user? That was the best fucking thing that happened to me. Dude you're fucking free. The next girl you see, tell her she's gorgeous and ask for her number. If she rejects you, she's as bad as your ex, fuck em both. Go to the next girl you see and say the same thing. user shit gets rough, but you got this my nigga. Go outsdie, work out, work on something you love and learn to love yourself man. I went from being a complete suicidal wreck after that girl left to the insanely happy person I am today.

I was in love (still am) with a girl... She loved me back... We did literally everything together; I knew she would never betray me. She was so loyal to me and I was so loyal to her. I did everything for her and she did everything for me. We made each-other so happy. One night I was busy at work and she texted me, I didn't read her message, I just texted back "ok". I found out later she went to get a drink (she used to drink a lot but I got her to stop so something had to have been wrong for her to break her promise to me) she was hit by a car and killed... I didn't eat or drink for two days straight. I just sat at home and stared at my phone. I didn't even know two days went by...

>At first I don't know what to do, eventually decide to tell Jake to his face next chance I get
>He isn't at school for the whole week though, turns out his whole family had a shite case of the flu
>Dan tells Jake to ask me about "something involving Cathy" and I explain the whole story from my perspective over Messenger
>Jake's surprisingly cool with it and just tells me not to try anything serious with her since he's still hurt over everything that happened
>Fine by me, I had zero hope of being anything more than friends anyway
>Everything went better than expected; Dan, Jim, Jake and I are back to being close mates almost immediately

>However, the damage had already been done
>That week had freaked me the fuck out and brought my mood back down to zero
>Too stressed out to take my prelims or go to school at all during study leave
>Attempt suicide twice during that time period, Cathy is worried sick but still supportive
>Meanwhile she starts hooking up with Chad as a friends with benefits kinda thing
>Keeps telling me about how great he is in the bedroom
>I pretend not to be jelly
>I jelly
>Over the two weeks of study leave she responds to my messages less and less
>Her responses start sounding less kind and more frustrated that I couldn't see any reason to live
>After the second attempt she blocks me for about a day and then doesn't respond to anything I send afterwards
>Must've been overexerting myself too much, she probably got fed up of dealing with my sentimental bullshit
>I say probably because she wouldn't tell me why she was mad, upset or whatever no matter how much I pleaded
>I sensed the end coming so I finally decided to confess all my feelings in detail, using as much descriptive language as I could to tell her how much I loved her
>It was cringy as fuck but I needed to give myself a sense of closure, and the only way to do that was to be completely honest