What's the strangest/most perverted place you've jerked off?

What's the strangest/most perverted place you've jerked off?

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A wedding.

In a box truck while hauling liquor down an interstate. Duty called.

in class in HS....
on skype with unawares girls...
one time I jo'd in a girls closet (the bathroom was through the closet so that was my excuse) while i was sniffing her dirty panties.... she literally opened the closet door as I was cumming.... uhh... i gotta have some other good ones.
in my car driving cross country.

oooh, in a public pool.
at work.
in my roommates bed while she's gone.
man I'm a deviant lol.

my body was against the wall of the pool, so nobody could see down there. jerked off while making eye contact and holding a conversation with my sister

my mothers sleeping nostril.

My son's second grade class

All-terrain transport vehicle while in the army.

Consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

I've only jerked off my penis.

Hahahaha

Laying down on top of an old spanish fort. It was night and i went streaking down the hill afterwards

Tripping balls on LSD. 0300 in the morning, laying on a sidewalk on State St. in Ann Arbor, MI
Not sure what came over me.

U monster

You did

on the train but no one was in the cart or the next.

Into a paramedic's pussy on the bumper of an ambulance at 9pm on a Wednesday, for the sole purpose of procreation.

Kek

In my sisters bed, wearing her lingerie, with her dildo up my ass and her vibrator on the head of my dick. Then I flipped my legs over and came on my face. Then I fucked my self in the ass with her dildo for 20 minutes and blew my second load on my stomach.

At a friend's house, in a storage space under the stairs. The kind where the door is just a panel you have to remove, I put the panel back in behind me and it was very cosy. Fapped into a condom, while thinking about the friend's sister of course

thats pretty gud

...

In my case, it's much simpler to ask: 'Where have you NOT jerked off?".

church confessional

jerking off the priest doesn't count

Train toilet
Airplane toilet (not exactly the mile high experience but it was at least 500 yrds)
Hotel room parents sleeping in the double bed next to mine

>in my fellow females' coworkers Chinese food
>next to a hot classmate under our joined chemistry desk
>on a friends basement window when she was putting on sunscreen for her tanning bed
>in my coworkers lotion bottle after she left for the day while sitting naked in her office seat
>in a unisex bathroom's soap dispenser at starbucks

on my sisters bed whilst using her rampant rabbit wearing her stockings

who died and made you the decider of what counts?

Jesus

On a train in Germany, in the toilet.

>be me 14
>camping trip with grandparents and cousin
>camper trailer, just after sun down
>all of us laying down to sleep, lights out
>no release in at least 2 days cause too much family around
>see grandma up in the dark
>steelboner.gif
>get crazy idea she's watching me
>pull down covers
>down go shorts, up goes the mast
>slow stroking it, watching grandma
>feel like a god stroking it slow long and hard for grandma until I'm shooting ropes

I have no idea if she was watching or not, but she didn't say anything.

>next day act like nothing happened

...

in room mate's bed wearing her panties, stockings, and a bra

pic related

...

That's rape.

Not gay, but... I was just taking my normal afternoon poo at work and I heard the unmistakeable sound of fapping in the stall right next to me. Shadow movement confirmed. For some reason, it got me rock hard. Started working my own shaft. Dude next to me was not quiet. Used spit to live it up. As he came, I was unable to hold myself back. Blew my load abd immediately felt disgusted with myself. Tru story

...

...

Jerked off at work once when I was a life guard.

>The men's shower was the only one with hot water
>2 female co workers rinsing off in shower while I "piss" in urinal.
>half wall separates me from them but I am staring directly at them
>they think I'm pissing while talking
>I'm cumming while staring directly at them and in conversation

In a moon bounce that my mom rented for my sister's birthday

In class in school. It's difficult but worth it.

the white house lol

>Hotel bathroom
>the woods
>bathrooms everwhere
>health clinic bathroom
> while wearing cousins clothing
>Other times I forget

In my god mothers panties

>Not gay, but...

kektastrophe must ensue anytime user says that.

Did you have the hots for your god mother? My god mother is big fat lady, so no.

>be young me on vacation with parents
>at age of at least 2 fapps a day going on 1 1/5 weeks of no release
>roadside stop with large map of local sites m/p wants to check it out
>Walk into woods for a piss I say
>starts tugging as soon I get my cock out
>large piles of shits and tp poop-mines everywere I discover
>geting close and shoots load that lands on a 2'x3" loaf of shit

Not my proudest moment

greentext

this is me: Vacations with family can be hard times with little privacy

She was thin actually. She annoyed me but I always got this weird vibe from her. She was a little too friendly to me as a young boy sometimes. The taboo seemed hot as fuck to me moreso than her actual looks.

So I got her panties, laid them out on her marital bed, and humped the shit out of them naked until I came.

Blue lagoon, Iceland

>feeling good wading around
>too many girls walking around in thongs- starts getting me horny
>notice the water is completely opaque. No way anyone can see below the surface
>casually whip out my dick
>stroll around with a full hardon
>there's a station to get free mud masks and it was very crowded. "Accidentally" pressed my bare Rick against some hotties
>needed a release and I spotted 2 girls. Smoking hot, about 12 or 13. They were speaking French
>followed them around until they sat down in little separate seating area
>sat down right next to them and cranked it out, staring all the way
>pretty sure they knew
>win!

Snuck into a girls room and masturbated into her running shoes. Basically fucked the shoe

Right behind my mother's back

>Smoking hot, about 12 or 13.

Smoking hot, about 12 or 13.
Smoking hot, about 12 or 13.
Smoking hot, about 12 or 13.
Smoking hot, about 12 or 13.
Smoking hot, about 12 or 13.

dude

did she not wake up?

>Jesus
Obviously is obvious

Did you want her to turn around and see?

Kek

My school bathroom

My mom called my doctor and said to him "What's the most accurate measurement for weighing?"
The doctor said "An underwater weighing test"
And just like that, my mom said "Yes. When can my son and my daughter can take it?" and the doc said "Today at 2pm."

So, I didn't bother taking a shower and so did my sister too, so I had to get into a special swimming suit(tight pants...Ugh).

My sister said "Can I pull my hair down to a ponytail?" The doctor said "No."
So my sister with her long, blonde hair went underwater with 8 seconds and had she must enjoyed it..but I didn't.

Moralfag

Fuck off.

Wtf r you talking about

Make sense

Wat

Nope pretty sure you're gay.

What is it that doesn't make sense?

My mom wanted to do something instead of weighing myself on a scale. She heard about a underwater weighing test from my doctor last year and she wanted to give it a try to both, myself and my sister.

How the fuck does that relate to jacking off in weird places?

Why did she need to weigh you so fuckin accurately? Are you a fat fuck?

On a school bus in middle school to a sleeping girl on the seat in front of me. We were the last two to get off.

Back seat of a greyhound bus, into the urinal of my college library, into my step-mom's rice container, driving a car on I-5 in central California

No, I am not obese. The same goes for my sister. She is not obese.

newfag

Swagger P
youtu.be/7KXcnbmmTXM

You want a detailed summary of what happened? Alright, here goes:

My mom wanted to do something instead of weighing myself on a scale. She heard about a underwater weighing test from my doctor last year and she wanted to give it a try to both, myself and my sister.

She called the doctor and wanted to schedule an appointment for my sister and I and today was the only day they could get us in. So my mom told both of us you don't need to take a shower if you don't want to(since I got up at 12pm and she got up at 12:30p.m.)

It goes on from there with the underwater weighing at the doctor's office.

funny

but you got off before her i bet

had to share a cabin on a cruise with my sister on a family trip. Jerked off every night.

In San Antonio, TX at USAF basic training right when the clock struck midnight on New Years Eve

In my car at abunch of starbucks parking lots. One time in class teacher caught me. In my sleeping nieces face.

My sister had to wear pants and a bra, so she enjoyed minutes of going underwater.

I didn't take a shower and she didn't too.

Before she got into the tank, you see girls 'pretend' to pull their hair into ponytails, but they don't. That's what she did.

while driving on the freeway...

I love this story. This man is a profound autist

So, you jerked off on your mom and sister? cool story bro

My friends mom's bed with her panties

My sister constantly talks about her hair. "Should I wash it?" "Should I pull my hair up or leave it down?" Stuff like that.

It wasn't my idea to take this underwater weighing thing. The doctor puts you in a tank (and I didn't have a shower), makes you do certain things of breathing, and you put your head underwater for a few seconds. Not hard at all.

How did you not get caught?

After you shot your jizz in your sister's hair, did she shower then?

At work. To sweet_ary on chatturbate. I was doing some training in our small conference room and everyone was told not to bother me. I jerked off and fell asleep. Boss walked in and woke me up, was initially kind of ticked that I was sleeping, but told her I would pass the cert test (and I did) so she wasn't really mad. Was awkward talking to her with stiff underoos, though.

I used to be in the navy, I was on a submarine. Usually on the midwatch, most people are asleep and there's no evolutions or training or anything going on.

Part of my job was working with the ships battery; it's in a separate sealed off compartment that people aren't allowed in because it's a fucking battery that you're crawling over top of that is powerful enough to run a submarine, you fuck up and you turn to dust.

Well, when I'd be down there on the midwatch checking gravities and whatever, I'd rub one out. But, I would do it after I had been working and had some of the battery shit on my hands, it would make my dick burn. But I liked it.

I have a life on an off day from school. I didn't expect to go to my doctor's office and take an underwater weighing test. That said with my sister. So I was mad at my mother and I wasn't going to take a shower if she said I had to but she let me skip the shower. Anyways I wasn't thinking well and was saving time (saving time by not taking a shower too) so I posted the topic title that I thought of because I was mad.

More about the hair:

She skipped the shower around noon. As said same goes with me. Then we took the underwater tests. My sister had to wear tight pants and a sports bra, so she enjoyed every minute of going underwater. Before that she tried to put her hair up but she wasn't allowed to. The doctor said no. So she did to her hair like what I see when I go down to the YMCA and see where girls pretend to pull their hair back.

More about my sister:

My sister was in tight clothing due to the test. My sister was wet just like me because the test was in a tank of water.

I've always wanted to sneak into the womens restroom and jerk off. Anyone know any tips on how to do so?

in the back seat of a car with my family in the front while watching dogma on a laptop

What happened with the teacher ?

I am a clean person, same goes for my sister. And I don't smell bad, same goes for my sister.

at a campground, with the forest animals watching

Fucking nukes. lol.

Been there and done that plenty of times

>I am a clean person, same goes for my sister.

So, you shot clean jizz into your sister's clean hair? I'm not completely understanding.