Suicide methods! GO!

Suicide methods! GO!

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Dig your grave 1m wide by 3m deep. Put a barrel inside of it, buy a gun, hire a crack whore, jump inside the barrel, have the crack whore close the lid and give her 10min to throw the last few feet of dirt to fill the whole, shoot yourself.

You'll go lost for several months before anyone finds your grave.

gun to head
shoot gun

If in the US, buy a pellet gun, speed on the road until you're pulled over. When the cop stops you, jump out the car and walk up to them with your gun drawn. You'll get riddled with bullets in 0.5679sec

UK fag I'm afraid

you can just buy replica airsoft guns which will yield the same results.

go to a tall building, tie razor wire around your neck and tie it to something that can hold your weight on the building. Then glue your hands stuck to your head, once it has dried, jump off the building, due to your falling speed the razor wire will decapitate you, and people below will find your mangled corpse looking like it has pulled its own head off.

I thought your police didnt carry guns

Buy heroine. Prepare and place in the largest syringe you can buy and inject as much as you can before you pass out. You'll die and won't be conscious to know

They don't cause they are pathetic

as much as I hate needles, best idea so far

> eat $5 bags of Taco Bell tacos
> quickly fill ass with nitroglycerin
> both ends of digestive tract should be full
> wait

Timing your Alahu Ackbar yell will be tough though

...

why would you want a painless death? no fun in that

Classic.


Dive headfirst off a three storied or higher building onto concrete. Death is instant at that angle doing terminal velocity. Cheap, easy, and guaranteed.

Wrap a large firecracker with pennies and duct tape, put in mouth and light fuse, let pennies ventilate your skull.

piss on the third rail

id slit my throat while fingering myself

stuff your pockets with raw beef, have your own "meet and greet" with the Siberian tigers at your local zoo

> Then wait for Jews to pick corpse clean of change, fillings, and foreskin.

>buy two apples (one would do it, but just be to be sure, buy two)
>buy empty capsules
>buy mortar and pestle (I have one already, suck it)
>eat apples, yum
>grind seeds
>make small funnel out of notebook paper and pour seed powder stuff into capsule
>close capsule

Congratulations, you just made a cyanide capsule for like $2.50

Being shot to death would probably hurt a lot, though.

bite off your tongue

slit your wrists

shoot yourself

hang yourself

suffocate yourself

drown yourself

You'll die very quickly

Also would feel amazing.

be a gorilla, hug a small child

nitrogen/helium/argon gas

if you do it right you'll go unconscious in 15 seconds and be dead in 1 minute, completely painless

your body can't tell the difference so you don't start fucking choking like with other shit tier gasses

But you'll be in 10/10 pain until then.

I think there are better ways.

...

Inert gas asphyxiation is a form of asphyxiation which results from breathing a physiologically inert gas in the absence of oxygen, or a low amount of oxygen,[1] rather than atmospheric air (which is largely composed of nitrogen and oxygen). Examples of physiologically inert gases, which have caused accidental or deliberate death by this mechanism, are argon, helium, nitrogen, and methane. The term "physiologically inert" is used to indicate a gas which has no toxic or anesthetic properties and does not act upon the heart or hemoglobin. Instead, the gas acts as a simple diluent to reduce oxygen concentration in inspired gas and blood to dangerously low levels, thereby eventually depriving all cells in the body of oxygen.

Nitrogen asphyxiation has been suggested by a number of lawmakers and other advocates as an allegedly more humane way to carry out capital punishment. In April 2015, the Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin signed a bill authorizing nitrogen asphyxiation as an alternative execution method in cases where the state's preferred method of lethal injection was not available as an option.

Sounds good. legally obtainable?

Watch How To Kill A Human Being on youtube or dailymotion, it demonstrates it on pigs

yeah you really have to do it right or you'll wind up a vegetable,
i believe they altered consumer available helium tanks due to the helium shortage and people killing themselves for example

There is no guarantee the cop will kill you. You will get immediate medical assistance. The cop will be stopping your wounds from bleeding as soon as he has disarmed you.

There is a very good chance that you just end up being seriously wounded, get arrested, and end up in prison or a psych ward for the next 10 years.

Being strapped to a bed because you are suicide watch for the foreseeable future, that will cure your depression... On top of whatever permanent injuries the shooting gave you.

If the cop shoots you in the gut you might have your intestines shredded by the bullet and have to have your shot collected in a plastic bag connected to your abdomen.

Nitrogen and Argon are readily available. Nitrogen is very cheap. The air is about 75% nitrogen already so they don't have to do much to purify it.

Argon can be bought at any welding supply store. Argon is used in MIG (Metal Inert Gas) welding

My plan:

>park my car on the level crossing
>hosepipe in window, engine running
>take 200 paracetamol with 2 litres of vodka
>slash wrists, down the street
>hang self from sunroof
>release toxic chemicals in car
>set 2 kilos of c4 explosive to detonate in 2 minutes
>douse self and car with petrol and set car on fire
>touch metal pole onto live wires and
>shoot self in head just as the train is about to hit

You can alter your gas heater and kill yourself with carbon monoxide. Obviously seal the room your in and at least get hammered/take sleeping pills or whatever.

You can burn charcoal for the carbon monoxide as well.

Or use a gas powered heater in an enclosed space.

Another way that could work if you're not a bumbling idiot is Chloroform which is actually legal to buy

for the first line i mean the heater for your home

the other thing i'm talking about is a gas generator, one you buy to use during a power outage. you run it in a completely sealed garage you'll die, a couple of retards did in florida during the hurricane last year

Eh, you should take some sleeping pills too. That might not do it.

Testify against Hillary Clinton.
You'll be absolutely guaranteed to commit suicide by shooting yourself twice in the back of the head.

>You can burn charcoal for the carbon monoxide as well.

A guy in my high school died this way. We liked to go camping and he found an old abandoned cabin in the woods and decided to light up his mini BBQ in the cabin to cook some dinner.

We was missing for many days and the search party finally found him collapsed by the BBQ as if he was cooking dinner.

He literally just passed out sitting there cooking dinner and died. You get all loopy when you are low on oxygen and you get too stupid to even realize you are asphyxiating.

There is the famous example of the Greek airline where the pilot forgot to turn the cabin pressure on. He turned on autopilot and the autopilot took it up to 30,000 ft. Everybody onboard including both pilots died. The plane flew on autopilot far past its destination and crashed into the mountains in Europe.

Neither pilot even realized they were being starved of oxygen and didn't even think of looking down and flipping the switch. The blackbox audio recording captured them mumbling and speaking gibberish before they passed out.

walk around naggers while shouting you support trump or saying the n word

u mad bro? don't want to miss the big finalé!

synthetic heroin is extremely easy to OD on

Only twice? I think most suicide victims associated with Clinton pause to reload after shooting themselves in the head several times.

Doubt this, when have you heard of someone being shot multiple times by police and surviving. They'll shoot to kill.

Don't do this m.liveleak.com/view?i=075_1485028629

Point that shit right at him.

I read a news story a couple years ago about a black family in the ghetto that had their power shut off for not paying the bill. The dad rented a generator so they could have electricity and ran it in the house. The entire family including like 3 or 4 kids died.

finally a positive news story

>when have you heard of someone being shot multiple times by police and surviving

It happens like every week.

It's a well-known screencap in YLYL threads, because Sup Forumstards find it funny that the penniless nigger family died, but also because there's an ad for portable generators in the corner courtesy of algorithmic advertising.

Go to a lake in the middle of the forest, take a bunch of sleeping pills and an air matress, swim to the middle and just hold onto the matress, don't sit or lie on it. Fall asleep, slip off and drown.

It would be funnier if you used some other ridiculous object. It won't make a difference, they will shoot you for pulling out a banana.