Post some fucked up experiences you had with your family/ friends...

Post some fucked up experiences you had with your family/ friends, just awkward shit that has happened to you personally.
I'll start
>Be me, 15
>Be on holidays with family
>Its the day before my birthday, we're staying at this beach house on the east coast of australia
>Mother and sister out shopping, me and dad just chillin
>Decide to go for a skate, say goodbye and take a key with me so incase my dad wanders off
>start riding down the street and get to the end, realise I forgot my helmet and go back because Im too retarded to not hurt myself
>I open up the door, 'hey dad I just forgot my helm.....'
>dad is facing in an armchair with the ipad in his lap
>See him putting his dick away in a hurry
>I stare at him for a bit, he stares back
>He pretends to shrug it off like I didnt see anything
>grab helmet and get the fuck out

When I got back we both never spoke of it and I was almost able to forget a few times but it was the single fucking weirdest thing that ever happened between us.
>tldr walked in on my dad wanking
>he has never walked in on me
>mfw

Fuck. That's third degree cringe.

I don't have any stories but this will be a good thread if it gets rolling.

I couldn't tell if it was good enough but thanks man.
Only other contribution I have is the time I found my dads cum on the shower glass and I wiped it off because I thought it was shampoo. Not enough detail to really greentext

I don't greentext because fuck you.

I once fell asleep with my dick in my hand after watching sexy toons. my mom shook me awake, my deflated member still clutched in my grubby paw.

heh heh, thanks mom.

her face was aghast.

I scurried off to my room. That was 12 years ago. havent made eye contact since. I Love You, Mom.

Bump

>middle of summer
>wake up in the morning, get baked and stuff myself with a dildo while fapping, naked just a bathrobe and headphones on
>hear parents knock, ignore
>hear them force the door, ignore hoping they fuck off like people do when a door is locked
>they just end up forcing the door until it actually opens
>fumbling like a retard I try to hide several monitors filled with degenerate porn
>while pulling the bathrobe on me
>while using one hand to hold the vibrator in my butt so it doesn't drop on the floor
>...
>amongst yelling and tears I shove them out of my room and lock it again

>Be home alone
>Fapping in room, back to the door and laptop on the bed in front of me
>Headphones on, love the sound almost as much as watching the actual porn
>The fucking door opens
>holyfuck
>Attempt to put dick away, shut laptop and turn around like I wasnt doing anything all at once
>fumble all three, turn around with full raging boner and laptop still open on porn
>make eye contact with my sister standing in the doorway
I was so happy the day she moved away, never seen her in 3 years but it was very awkward for that period when we were under the same roof
never could look at her properly

>be me 16
>my friend from out of town visiting over the >weekend
>he arrives and we think my parents are gone
>start legendary smoke sesh in my room
>highest ive ever bin
>suddenly dad opens the door
>o fuk
>he starts autistic screeching very loud
>calls Mexican friend a beener
>we leave and are homeless for 3 days
>thx dad

hahaha holy fucking shit thats messed

>be me, 15
>be furiosly masturbating in the shower
>see mums toothbrush
>cum on it
>next day
>mum finished having shower
>check too see if she used her toothbrush
>fuck yeahh
I technically came in my mums mouth. I'm not sure if she knew, I mean, sperm has a pretty distinct taste, right? and I didn't exactly clean her toothbrush after cumming on it.

mummy didn't give me my chicken tendies so I gave her my cummies

>be me, 12 y/o
>go to some wedding with family
>wedding is on a ranch, not many guests
>many guests, including me & my family sleep the night there and go home next morning
>in the evening, every adult is drinking heavily
>bored and tired, i go to sleep in some small building
>other family members sleep in the same building
>in the middle of the night i wake up
>someone is coming inside the building
>it's my mom with some man
>not with my dad
>they're both piss drunk, start to fuck right there
>they don't know i'm awake
>have to listen to my mom fucking some guy for like an hour
>puke
>never tell anyone
My parents broke up some years after.
(Sorry for my crappy greentexting skills)

is he your dad now?

Carry on with the stories...just know that this is also officially a get thread.

Nope, my mom is just a slut.

What part of the uk you from? Can I try and fuck your mum?

I've got one
>be me, 16
>have a YUGE daddy fetish
>be in class on laptop
>bored and horny
>sit in the back, no one can see what i'm doin on my laptop
>watch porn and pics of some 40-60 years old men
>hot
>forgot to watch my back
>"how's the essay going?"
>oh fuck
>it's the teacher
>he's like 50 and attractive on my standards
>my brain shuts down from shock
>he sees what's on my screen before i manage to hide it
>awkwardest silence ever
>i turn blood red
>sweat pouring like Niagara
>he mutters "focus on your work.." or something
>pretends he didn't see but looks at me in a weird way sometimes
>going into his class was hell after that
I'm so thankful that he more or less let it slide

Has ANYOne ever fucking managed to wank in class successfully? Feels like you had this one coming bro

Oh user...

Not me, but a friend in HS successfully jacked off in English class (yurop) without the teacher never noticing but all of us being aware.

Dude successfully also revealed his balls to another teacher later.

I wasn't even jerking it

sorta related greentext
>be me in high school, total delinquent...
>ran away, stole cars drugs ect...
>although i avoid school, i cant legally drop out until certain age
>get locked down in special "alternative" school (day prison)
>friend has found an escape!!
>its called "work study" you spend half day in class, then half day doing some unpaid nigger work somewhere else in district...
>friend assures me that his assignment is fuckin lush and they need another person!
>apply for work study, miraculously land job ith friend
>its at the districts other "special" school - the one for the downies...
>mfw the job is LITERALLY helping the teacher to keep the horny, high school age downies from raping each other...
>they also jack off constantly and openly - you seriously have to be careful not to slip on downie spooge...
>the girls do it too...
>my friend thought this shit was hilarious, but i was in a world of nope...
>went back to day prison and took muh punishment like a man

I don't know about guys, but I know one chick that has

Yeah there always this one girl in class rubbing hee clit through her pant it was really hot for us horny puberty fags

So in HS you had a friend who raped downies for fun

it was never openly discussed, but yes i assume so...