Be me

>Be me
>At friends house chilling
>Eating spaghetti
>friends fat fuck girl friend shows up
>house fucking shakes when she gets her blubbery ass through the door way
>sits on couch
>permanently ruined from impressions of her ass cheeks
>whytho.jpeg
>I leave to go smoke
>Whale leaves and drives away in her Volkswagen Beetle
>Friend comes out and tells me that Miss Lard has a huge crush on me
>Isn't ugly, has normal tits instead of udder, just weighs enough to make sure she can travel across certain bridges
>Friend tells me her daddy is some sort of well-known lawyer and makes 6 digits a year and just hands out money to only child, the gargantuan
>shit, I like free money
>starts talking to her on the Facebook
>is actually really sweet and funny and likes me
I'm a fat and ugly fuck too, no fucking clue what she saw in me
>eventually falls in love with her and can look past her fat ass (not literally but still)
>Starts hanging out with her, watching Netflix and eating tendies
Eventually falls asleep on her bed
>bitch wakes me up and tells me she forgot that she promised to go out of state to see family
>packs up my shit and gets ready to leave
>can't find fucking wallet
>Kathy Bates hands it to me saying it fell out of my pocket earlier
Starts getting suspicious, but whatever
Next day
>gets ready to leave to go to work
>goes to gas station to get fuel
>card gets fucking denied
Starts calling my bank to see what charges have been made lately
>teller lady says everything looks normal except the $582.48 charge to Sephora
Motherfucker...
>hits up friend and asks what the fuck
>"Oh yeah, forgot to let you know, she is super fucking klepto"
>fuckingkys.tiff
>we come up with plan to get revenge

Cont?

Don't ask you double nigger, just post it of course we want you to

Hurry up and cont

Will do
Also nice trips

please more

Continue please

Continue right fucking now

ye

Hurry the fuck up you cock ass

POST THAT SHIT QUICK OP

>me and friend come up with plan
>make her absolutely fall in love with me
>then fucking destroy her
Couple weeks go by and I eventually become her whole fucking world
>Momma June and I are chilling in her mansion
>we are cuddling and shit
>wants to punch her in the cooter but doesn't want to have to go through the 2 layers of muffin top
>trying to calm down and she whispers something in my ear
"I just want you to know that I've never had sex with a guy before"
Well no fucking shit sherlock
>come to find out she is a hardcore lesbian with tons of ex-girlfriends and female fuck buddies
>says she wants to have a 3-way with me and her ex
>whythefucknot.gif
>she calls her over and I fuck you not, she is a 9/10
>ass, titties, blonde, blue-eyed, the works
>gets ready to do the do
>ex goes down on whale and the whale grabs my face and attempts to eat my tongue like a freshly deep-fried twinkie at the fair
It's ok user, it'll all be over soon
>Darlene Cates says she can't cum without going cowgirl
FUCK
>bitch rides me and rocks around like a mechanical bull
>pretty sure human hip can only take so much pressure
>ex is pretty much just masturbating at this point
>attempting to trust but it's like humping a 20 ton cinder block at this point
>says she came and gets the fuck off of me
Lights up a cig to try to forget about this horrible mess I got myself into...
>gets dressed and goes home
>messages her on fb and tells her I know everything about the money
>says she has no clue wtf I'm talking about
>calls me and is bawling her eyes out
Wasn't having any of that shit
She took my money, I destroyed her out
I literally love money more than life itself
Probably got some kike blood Inside...
>presses charges against her
>Haven't seen nor heard of her in a while

Part 3 next
Pic related. It's her tits

Please continue op!

OP plz


Pic related

>call her
>tell her to cut you a check tomorrow or you call the police

end of story.

>Momma June
my fucking sides

>Pic related. It's her tits
gag

In return for more typing time, here is more tit pics of whale lady
You're welcome

Continue OP. I need closure.

I sincerely hope that is just some hair that fell on her chest and not fucking nipple hair.

fucking trips man

this story changed my life thanks OP

Bump

Did you atleast go for the 9/10 while fucking your gf?

Bamping

Bump

Part 3 of 3(?)

>Tells friend what's going on
>we share a laugh and get some drinks to celebrate the recent harpooning
>friend starts to get drunk and essentially told me that she was the one who stole my credit card Info so that way I'd blame this chick
>starts freaking out because I am responsible for getting her in legal trouble
Asks her wtf
>"user, have you seen my couch? That's my fucking couch and she literally destroys it when she sits down. Nobody fucks with that couch but me."
Literally becomes the physical embodiment of befuddled
>leaves house and goes home to think at how fucking evil friend is and how much she loves her damn couch
next moring I see a message from whale lord.
>Tells me she still loves me and is sorry for what she did
Apparently only thing she did was buy a month worth of netflix so we could cuddle and that friend came buy and chilled for a minute while I fell asleep.
>tells her everything (mostly)
>apparently her daddy got her out and is fine. Comes to me house
>tells her that it was her ex instead of friend, because I often fuck said friend
>she turns from Lard ass to queen bitch in .3 seconds
Literally storms through my house, shaking the mirrors off the wall (really wish I was slightly exaggerating)
>friend doesnt remember telling me shit, she was drinking a lot
>convinces her to have 3-way with me and
>Things getting heated
>BBW LITERALLY SITS ON FRIENDS FAT FACE
Pretty sure she is choking. Not sure from ass fumes or what but tells her to get off of friend
>friend gasps for air, her makeup that costed me 109.95 is smeared all over her face
Eh, she's fine
Me and fat fuck screw on friends couch
With every little thrust I can get past her ass and stomach, the couch just shakes and rumbles
>Couch essentially becomes dust at this point
>Friend is just laying on floor kinda dying
>As we leave, friend asks me why
>"Don't touch my fucking money"
>Leaves in fat bitches Beetle

Part 4...

OP here
Yeah but literally was about to touch her fun bags before she told me to fuck off
Tip didn't even get fucking wet

>told me that she was the one who stole my credit card

>knows whale is rich
>steals OP's moneies
wtf

Bump. I have a feeling OP might discus about one of Italy's cuisines.

Yeah, that seemed suspect. was going to assume some kind of explanation later on so i didn't really question it.

Shit is a mess use proper english its late and that shit is hard to read

More whale tits as you wait

Is actually good picture of her. Makes her look way smaller.

that looks so gross

i bet her arbys sandwich smells like fishermans wharf at low tide

>"Oh yeah, forgot to let you know, she is super fucking klepto"
is this the same friend who stole your money?

Typing stories out quickly and well structured isn't as easy as most people think. There's a reason most people ask for already typed stories.

I'd rather die a virgin than bringing myself to fuck a whale.

Part 4
Fuck green text, too late to deal with shit

Fast forward 2 months, I have ghosted my friend and live happily with my girlfriend. She may be a fucking whale, but Jesus Christ, her daddy gives her a hundred bucks to do fucking dishes every night
I'm going to marry this woman, I swear to god
Her father tells me that he is glad to not have a dyke of a daughter and finally found a man to turn her straight . Said something about praying to God all these years to have a straight child for once (her brother is gay too. Met him once. He's the definition of a bear).
Kinda weirded out and essentially told me that if we get married, he's gonna buy our house, pay for the wedding, etc etc
Cha-ching bitch

Future plans for me went from going to college for Graphic design (inb4 kill yourself) and trying to make a decent living to marrying this woman and becoming a rich bastard and never have to worry again.

Wish me luck anons.

No more pics of girlfriend, but here is one of her exes we fucked before (sadly none of the 9/10)
She's probadly a 6.5
You tell me

...

It's bad, I'm not gonna lie
Been trying to convince her to have lipo
Not sure how to make her do because she always tries to avoid answering when I bring it up. She isn't bad looking in the face, but Jesus Christ lord above. It's just not healthy.
I ain't the healthiest on this earth either but fuck...

You fucking won the lottery and then some user. If she has a decent face then, all she has to do is lose the wight then everything will be aces.

>glad to not have a dyke of a daughter
>praying to God all these years to have a straight child for once
lol

and this gg user

Only thinking about how it must smell is enough to make me gag tbh.

>implying that will be easy
Oh great job user, you purchased a ticket, you are already half-way there. Now all you need to be rich is to win the lottery.

Well, here is her pussy
It brings shame to my cock whenever it passes through the caverns... thank God there is the availability of side pussy

Hope you have bleach kids

Yeah, I'm retarded and don't think things through...

Yup...