Sup Forums, how do I find Christ?

Sup Forums, how do I find Christ?

Even jesus had to get tire of a bunch of tribesmen living in this planet bullshit.

Leaving here would be a good start.

If you want to find Jesus, go into a crowd of smelly illegals and say "JESUS I'M WITH INS"

Have faith.

My best guess is that he is buried somewhere in the middle east.

church.bible.church website.

it's realy not hard unless you live in some place where christianity is repressed.

Why don't you look RIGHT BEHIND YOU

build I time machine

turn knob to 0

??????

profit

Nigga he will find YOU.

Try suicide, if there is a heaven and they have WiFi come back and let us know. Thanks.

Check the fridge. Right past purple stuff and next to the sunny d

If there is a god--which there isn't--this is the place he'd be furthest from.

I am here my son. Ask, and ye shall receive. I require but one set of repeating digits and your desire will be fulfilled.

...

Just keep on searching. Eventually you will find him... I guess.

r-rolling

When will I stop cumming blood?

Asking for a friend...

Jail. Everyone there seems to find him. Stays in the cell next to Muhammad.

If I I get dubs I am reforming my pathetic life

Dude, he cleans the bowling alley every night. Just go see him there

Accept Him into your heart. He wants a relationship with you.

Because he hates sinners... em I right?

Jesus will find you when you seek him in humbleness. Only then, when you repent your sins and accept the lord into your heart, will you be saved.

>picture unrelated

I will get these

Is Joseph Smith legit?

Have you checked behind the sofa?

Try Google Maps.

Well, you're not gonna find him on gay ass faggot ass Sup Forums. Maybe try church?

Try again, my child.
Verily, verily I say unto you, the flow of red will cease when you follow the path of righteousness.
Try again, my son.

I want u to kill all nuggets

I thought I found him before but then lost him again. I've still prayed earnestly from time to time but no longer feel the presence of God.

Roll

Oh ye of little faith. Joseph Smith is My chosen prophet. The words he spoke and wrote are the truth.

Give me a 1 year brazzers subscription

Dumdumdumdum dum dum!

Give me a bigger dick.

When are you gonna come down from heaven and kick ass this time?

My children, I bring to you a gift, for I am a generous God...son of God...I've always been confused on that. Behold! Miracle spring water! Sprinkle this on whatever ails you and it will be healed! Pour it on your wallet and receive miracle funds in your bank account! Lather it on your boils and they will disappear overnight! Absolutely free*!

any landscaping company might have a few

Why would you want to find mentally ill lunatic that lived long ago

I found Jesus: I keep him locked in the trunk of my car.

F A L S E
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PROPHET
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Verily, verily I say unto you, I have provided the materials necessary for the growth of the physical manifestation of man's dominance over woman. Ingest maca, damiana, deer antler, and entengo herbs, and your flesh wand will expand to proportions only rumored about in the wildest ergot poisoning trips.

...

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anyone else notice jesus is getting a lot of dubs?

>the number 0 existed 2000 years ago
Have fun erasing yourself from existence.

kill all the niggers.
Thanks Jesus. You're the best!

Jesus, why do you always look like a California hipster in pictures even though you were actually an unwashed sand nigger?

Move to Missouri. Then try NOT finding him.

What's the difference?

My son, being the offspring of the only one and true God, I appear to mortals as they wish me to appear. Some see a white man, others see a stupid fucking nigger, and others see me as an Arab. It's all a matter of subconscious perspective. Remember to tithe.

>hipster: white, dirty, smells like weed
>sand nigger: brown, filthy, smells like shit and ash

To kill off the negroid race would be to erase My Father's loudest and proudest cheerleaders. Ever been to a black gospel church? Shit is off the chain.

Nice trips baby , BUT YEAH WTF....Maybe hes the real thing....

if you die you get to meet him

should i stay with my wife fake jesus?

I will forgive your blasphemy, for I am 1/3 of the Holy Trinity (which is fucking stupid because 33x3 is 99%, but The Bible never said that the heavenly Father is mathologist). However, in regards to your query, divorce is a sin, and if you divorce your wife, you will be fined. See Deuteronomy 22:19.