How often do you think abut suicide?

How often do you think abut suicide?

Once a week

sometimes but never did it

Why you'd be dead if you did

once every 5 minutes

yes, this is the reason why i didn't

Every fucking day. But my most recent attempt left me with a broken knee and a concussion... plus they found cancer in my hip at the hospital

>be me 23
>go to physiatrist at friends suggestion
>Doc diagnosed me with ADHD and in his words "Got it badly"
>Doc gives Adderall

>Entire week filled with self discovery about why I acted
>Then I started going over memories
>"Oh god I'm a fucking idiot. Why did I do that?"

It sucked for a week, pretty badly actually, but I was able to repress it and just find new people to get better memories from.

a lot.

Good on ya mate

Did you try to jump off a building?

Yes indeed. Misjudge the distance between the roof and a slightly lower one and landed on it, knee to the face.

it'd be easier to end it than to keep trying to start
my life over again as i've done so many times before..but if you're dead,you'll never be able to feel
the "freedom" you were seeking through death.

Skyscraper or bust, bro

Are you gonna try again?

But the cancer they found is early stages so ironically I prolonged my life by trying to commit suicide

Not planning to, this makes five attempts so I've concluded I'm just bad at it

grain elevators are good too if you're in the country.

What things did you try?

Pills twice, cutting once, just trying to OD on coke once, then the jumping thing

ODing is for chicks, dude.
Also one of the lowest rates of success, same with cutting.

Oh well.

So you can't get a career in killing yourself, what the hell else are you gonna do with your life now?

Clearly I should have asked for some advice first. First and foremost is going back to school, gotta tell the girlfriend about all this which is sure to be a fun conversation, then keep trying to get my writing published

Rarely, sometimes when I'm really tired and a bit over things I like to think about what it'd be like if it was all just over but then I remember all of the plans I have in the immediate future and it makes me happier.

Also change majors to social work, wanna try and prevent some kids from being as dumb as I am

Once every couple of days, pretty decent

Wat. You have a girl?

buhuu.. even a guy who wants to exit life can get more out of life than me

Hmm.. you know it's gonna be tough changing your life if the only reason you don't want to kill yourself anymore is because you think you can't succeed at it.
If you're still depressed you'll probably still be unmotivated and stuff.

The depression seems like it's gonna be a life long thing at this stage so I'm gonna have to figure out a better way of dealing with it I guess.

Doesn't have to be.

Could be caused by some trauma or another.
Changing perspective is important.

Honestly I don't know how I feel about someone who doesn't give a shit about life trying to convince kids they shouldn't give up..
Not sure how effective that'd be

Your girl should be fine with it provided that you both have enough money (be ready to provide for that bitch).

I want to go back to school but I have no drive like other people do, even my partner wants to really go back to school and I'd love for them to but we can't afford it sadly

Oh the plan is to try and improve the whole waiting for death thing

haha it should be fine given that we are both super young (I'm 20 she's turning 23 next month) I just had to drop the semester of school cause I couldn't walk for 2 months

Shit bro what happened? I'd love to support them going back to school but I knew deep down inside I'd resent them... but hell I'd do it to make them happy you know?

I hope it works out, just talk to her about it and hear her imput, if anything be ready to accept a big change on her part in the future you know?

Yeah I'm just nervous cause my last ex left me when the mental health started acting up, said she didn't want to deal with it when she was trying to better herself.

Jokes on her though she dropped out to sell coke

>the mental health

We talking you here? What's wrong (haven't read the thread sorry)

Depression, multiple suicide attempts. Nothing exotic if you were hoping for some mysterious voices

Every day. Then I do a bunch of affirmations, enough to talk me out of it and put on a happy chipper mask and act. I go to work, do the happy act. It wears off soon after my shift ends, I'm a blue ass motherfucker on the longer days because I run out of happy act gas. I go home, drink away thinking ability to make real life seem less shitty. Do my hobbies. Pass out. Wash-rinse-repeat.

Why are you depressed user? I mean I get sad sometimes now and then but I find writing stuff down and then talking to my partner helps wonders (since they're who I live with they are ultimately the person I rely on for happiness)

Also I hate to be that faggot but if you really want to kill yourself, why haven't you properly gone through with it?

If there's one thing I can suggest, write down ALL the things that make you happy that you'd like to do, whether that be as little as going for a walk on a beach by yourself to... I dunno going up the Effile (mah english) Tower with the woman you love

How old are you?

haha I appreciate the concern but if you read back through it's not for lack of trying. Also feeling sad and feeling depressed are pretty different, at least for me. When it gets super bad I get a total absence of feeling (can't even get it up, rough times) and just hopelessness

Old but not yet grey.

I just get angry, it's a family trait to get angry rather than sad, then the depression actually kicks in and you just feel like you're alone in the world even when the people you love most are hugging you trying to say it's going to be ok.

You ever talk to a psychologist bro? Just venting to someone and hearing their input helped me then and 100% still helps me now (though admittedly it's not paid help)

Oh for sure I talk to one once a week since the most recent attempt. It definitely makes a difference not feeling like you have anything to hide

Well at least you can count on the cancer to do it for you... unless your actually going to treat it

haha not really my choice I ended up having to move back home after the injury and the parents have taken the reins on treatment (Canadian so it's free)