I've seen some greentext stories about people and tards, had my first experience today. Here's how it went down.
Potato Smoothie, Part - 1
>be me, 21 yearold pleb
>on campus at college
>college has very open area with smoothie and bakery stand in the middle
>Rainy as fuck, wore my black pull over that day [This will be important later]
>go to smoothie stand daily since buddy gives me discount, buddies name is Ryan
>order my daily pina colada smoothie
>hear some noises in the disance, oh no
Back story, this college has a special needs shadowing course where you can enlist to have a job shadowing tards, works like a phd in studies, but it's full time potato farming. We'll call them Tard Guards as everyone knows.
>training tard guard rolls up 5 potatos deep at the smoothie stand
>recognize the tard guard, she's a complete cunt, total sjw type
>She tries to strike small talk with me, "Oh hey, user. We're here to celebrate Potato-1's birthday."
>I reply, "Oh hey [cunt], Happy birthday potato-1
>Potato-1 is the main problem here, this kid is a ogre at 6"2 and fat as fuck. His face is completely fucked
>Potato-1 Gives me the meanest, nastiest, most souless look, I'm wondering what happened
>He's pissed and I have no idea why
>Cunt whispers to me, "He doesn't like being talked to, he also hates the color black"
>I'm speachless, just back off and talk to Ryan while waiting for my smoothie
CONT
I've seen some greentext stories about people and tards, had my first experience today. Here's how it went down
Other urls found in this thread:
Ok, you got me hooked OP. I'll stay.
moaaar
Let's go op I'm ready for
Tard rage
Potato Smoothie, Part - 2
>Ryan is busy making smoothie
>Tard Guard orders all the other tards smoothies, not Potato - 1, oh no
>Potato - 1 Glares at me and orders a Pinto colodo smoothie
>Ryan looks at me, fucks with the kid
>Ryan asks again, "Sorry, didn't catch that? What did you want?"
>"PINO COLEADA!
>Ryan just backs away saying Ok trying not to laugh
>Time passes, flipping through Sup Forums on my phone
>I hear grunting, tards getting impatient
>Potato - 1 giving me death glare
>mfw.jpg
>Tell ryan to finish my smoothie first
>Tard gets close to counter wanting it NOW
>I can faintly smell him, smells like boiled hot dogs with mayo sitting in the sun for 6 days. I almost puke
>Tard guard gives me death stare now
>wtf.png
>"You're too close to him, please back away and give him his space"
>This bitch
>Stand my ground, uncle is a potato farmer so I can handle this batch
CONT
dubs check em
dubs yourself
OP more plz
Go on
Cont cunt
Bump
Kep it coming
Give moar
Check em
OP experiencing writer's block; can't make up true story fast enough
Potato Smoothie, Part - 3. The blending.
CONT
>Standing my ground, I won't let up
>Tard starts to inch closer while making this disgusting look on his face
>Stench got to me, I back off
>mfw tard guard yells at ryan to hurry up
>I'm pissed now, have a plan to get them outa here
>Ryan finishes my smoothie, hands it over
>"Thanks Ryan, I'm really going to enjoy this first."
>Tard is enraged
>"WHRE MAH SMUTE, I WANT. NOW NOW NOW"
>dying.jpeg
>Tard guard is livid
>"user, i'm reporting you to the council for this!"
>idgaf.gif
>Start walkin away, smoothie good af. Good job ryan.
>I hear screaming half way across the yard
>It's potato - 1
>He doesn't like his smoothie
>Throws it on the ground
>Looks directly at me half way across the yard
>hear in the distance "YOU DID THIS"
>He's sprinting, sprinting at me now.
>Oh fuck
>ThisIsWhereIDie.jpg
>Tard guard screams his name
>Other tards are in full frenzy, one is shaking the smoothie cart
>It's just screeching, smoothies, and mayhem.
>Potato - 1 gets close to me, in tears
>"I WANT THAT ONE"
>Close to the main building so I just chug along and get inside
>"I WANT"
>He's following me now
>Get inside building, open door, dinosaur
>Throw my smoothie away
>"It's all yours, potato"
>Potato - 1 Runs outside, crying
>mfw ruined tards bday and had a sick smoothie, nice
>Confused about the whole situation, start heading to class
>Up two flights of stairs, take off jacket
>Look out window into yard where smoothie stand is
>sjw tard guard screaming at Ryan
>Tard slipped in the smoothie and broke his arm or something
>mfw
Potato Smoothie, Prologue
>Call ryan hours later
>Turns out ryan had told the sjw he ran out of potato smoothies
>She was pissed, ryan almost fired
>go home, tell friend about this incident
>Make this thread
>mfw own thread makes my piss my self laughing.
Thanks for stopping in everyone, This was my first and hopefully last experience with the tards. have a good one.
Just noticed my posts got dubs, must be a sign. Hope you all enjoyed my little shit fest.
thank you user for this grand tale
>Prologue
Epilogue
Broken potatoe was never a useful one
You seem to have forgotten that he browses Sup Forums
Bravo. Thanks for sharing your tale.
You did good my son
OP here, More stories like this happen all the time. Join this discord, it's lit.
Add me if you want, names Jonny on it. TY for stoppin in.
discord.gg
Put me in the cap
fucking gold