I have a drug test in a week, I've only smoked marijuana no other drugs...

I have a drug test in a week, I've only smoked marijuana no other drugs. I don't want people saying to stop smoking because that's obvious. I'd like advice or personal experiences. Please Help a fellow pot head

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Your life OP do what ever you want
Pro tip your fucked

C'mon I need positive advice pal

sorry, nothing to do about it, you're fucked

what's the drug test for?

and yeah, you're probably fucked. we've had applicants to our company with sterling resumes get rejected because they failed a drug test 4 weeks after smoking pot

QUIT SMOKING POT YOU FUCKING WEEDHEAD

Get a fake Wiener with synthetic urine

Drink a fuck load of water, get a clense kit at a smoke shop or wherever sells them near you, you'll be fine, ive done this a lot of times all varying in deadlines, some less than a week, as long as its not hair testing you will be ok

I got a new job and they just warned me. I start next week tuesday. The shop I'm at right now never asked for a test

you're fucked. start looking for a new job.

I also have a surprise drug test as part of my new job (HR called me yesterday to inform me despite having told me I didn't have to when I did financial paper work).
If it's at a hospital what's the odds they won't just cup me and they'll try to analyze it

TL;Dr
If I use synthetic for hospital job will they know

I'm not a heavy smoker nor I don't don't it every day. It's like 1once or twice a week, but yesterday for some reason I ate a few edibles. Will it be gone by Tuesday if I start the cleansing starting right now?

They will probably just cup you, too expensive for most companies to analyse new employees piss

It's easy, buy this cleanu.de/en/fake-penis/ and then get someone else's pee in it, someone who's clean, whiling and of the same gender as you. then piss out of the fake cock your toting around and you're good to go

You will need to do some heavy pissing and some exercise but yeah it will. Drink a crazy amount of water and sweat your ass off, like go for a run, to the gym, double your usual, sauna for a good while, drink a lot of coffee black, more water, beer on the weekend to help piss more and youre innthe clear

What do you mean by cup You? I've never been tested ever in my life. You just pee in the cup?

So synthetic piss that worked for my friends parole program and I'm gucci?

It's a cup with a drug sample ring around the lower section
The urine flows up the paper trails and if you have the thing it's looking for you'll get pos read on the lines

Damn does this work even if you have a short window like 2-4 days prior? No saying that ima do it... i need this job. For future reference? I'm not a fat person and I do keep in shape and drink Hellas water. Just letting you know to get the feel I'm in

Lol thanks, I'll look into it

to pass a drug test

wake up day of drink a glass of water

drink another

drink some more

take a vitamin b12 pill (makes your urine yellow so they dont count your sample as diluted)

3 hours before test chug some monster or something with tons of caffine

keep drinking fluids until you walk in the door
drink as much as you can the day of before the test, but MAKE SURE you take the b12 or else your piss will be clear and they will tell you to do it again

4 days is cutting it real fucking close mate, id say it would be 50/50 then, but you need to metabolize like a mad cunt

No idea about syth piss, i usually just work it out myself, i work as a mud lab tech for large oil companies and i move to different spots every so often to test different places oil muds and each time i have to do a drug test and ususally they let you know longer ahead of time for non standardized testing because it costs a lot more, none of it stops me from smoking or partying i just got real good at passing the tests

Find a vitamin store/health food store

Buy crystalline Vitamin C

Drink 8 oz of water with 1/4 TEAspoon of Vitamin C mixed up in it

When you need to pee, drink another 8 oz of water

After an hour, drink another 8 oz of water with one QUARTER TEAspoon mixed up in it.

When you need to pee, drink another 8 oz of water

Every hour, drink 8 oz of water with one QUARTER TEAspoon of Vitamin C mixed up in it.

This will clean you out in a big way. Make sure you have bathroom tissue on hand and a clear path to the toilet. I am not kidding about it.

Repeat until the test or when your ass is raw from powershitting. Admit NOTHING, no dope sucking EVER, no OTC medications, no cigarette use, admit to NOTHING.

Avoid giving the first piss of the day. Avoid giving a sample from other than mid-slash.

What kind of fucked-up job wants to test your pee? Piss testing is just plain WRONG.

Yeah piss testing for something like weed is laughable, makes no sense to me, everyone i work with and even the higher ups smoke at work parties

I assumed they werent doing expensive due to the short notice
If it worked for parole it should work for this

Yeah id do some research into it and id drink a lot and exercise just as a back up, if they think somethings funny they might do retests as soon as they can or might be a fail but chances are if its non conclusive it will be a retest