You know the drill Sup Forums. Get a superpower, anons below change it

You know the drill Sup Forums. Get a superpower, anons below change it.

Anything I write with my magic pencil will happen.

Your magical pencil has no graphite.

I can see the future.

Everything you see is turned upside down

I can remove the cap from any bottle by looking at it

You can only see the future bowel movements of those around you.

I can teleport.

Save Points

The ability to mark a specific point in time as a save point and then go back to that save point at any time in the future.

You spill some of the contents.

I can move things through esp

But only when you're sleeping.

Love Magic

The cap is automatically inserted into your urethra.

But your memory is full.

Your save points must be port-o-johns

I can control time

>Anything I write with my magic pencil will happen.

Until you put it down. Pencil loses all magic abilities the moment it breaks contact with your skin.

you can only move stuff you can actually physically lift

i can morf into whatever i want(i know i can't spell)

Every time you do so, you shrink half a foot

I can hold up my poop forever

you risk the destruction of the universe if you use it.
pic related

So he'd just ducktape it to his body, right?

But only what will happen within 5 seconds.
Fly at will.

But it travels up through your body until it comes out of your mouth unless you shit it out.

Really Bendy Thumb

You however fecal vomit.

I can modify my density.

Can only fly up, never down.

Can speak to animals.

But it might break sometimes, dunno when tho

You have to stick it up your ass once a day or you die

My power is projectile vomiting Pepsi

But it will take you the time it will take to an average man to get there walking

You have a maximum space at which point your body becomes painfully distended and keeps expanding until you poop

I breathe whale semen like a dragon breathes fire.

If you lower your density you become enlarged, if you make it higher you shrink.

Super fragile bone structure.

Invisibility

The semen glues your throat closed.

I can lift things with my mind

Your fecal matter becomes whale semen too

I can speak to animals

The pepsi tastes like 15 year old, flat diet coke.

You turn a sickly yellow hue for 20 hours after doing so
All animals speak Swahili
That's pretty much a disadvantage already. I'll allow you this power.

My earwax is the most expensive matter on Earth

you have down syndrome

i can fly

You get recharged by said whale anally

But it was genetically crafted from firebreathing, so you still may inadvertently sometimes breathe fire, which you have no resistance to.

Omnipotence.

but once lifted, you can't put them down. They just stay in he air, hovering.

But every time you do you get migraine

You have down syndrome.

But every time you lift something with your mind your cock also lifts, and you have a throbbing erection.

I can turn invisible

Once you go invisible you can never be visible again, everything used to make you visible will also get invisible.

I'm immortal.

Animals refuse to speak to you outside of in the manner we hear them in normally, resulting in your power to be utterly fucking worthless you chimp.

But only for your lower half, becoming aroused makes you instantly invisible.

I can change my body mass. Say, I can turn my muscle into fat and viceversa. Effectively changing sizes.

But not biologically immortal, meaning it is impossible for you to die, even when the universe ends.

But only when there is no one around

You can only save after something terrible happens.

Omnipotence everywhere but the bedroom, where no amount of pills, stimulation, therapy, or otherwise will allow you to perform.

>But if I'm a chimp can't I speak to animals already?

you slip in the tub and die because immortality =/= invincibility.

I can fap to traps and still remain straight.

Everyone still thinks you're a faggot.

I have the ability to fire any gun with flawless precision.

But deep inside you know that's not true

But you become a trap too.

Only when the target is yourself.

But you have to suck hairy men's dicks daily.

My farts make beautiful girls horny

>Can already speak to animals
>Not a power
>Animals can't speak to you

but you have down syndrome

You must target white people, otherwise you'll always miss.

I have the power to make people happy by looking at them

J-jokes on you thats my fetish!

you can direct gravity in any direction at up to 20x Earth's gravity

You can't remain straight if you aren't straight.

I become God with unlimited powers whenever i want and nothing can stop me.

The ability to rewind time by a short amount. the max is 10 seconds, but after doing it it has to cool down, 10 seconds cooldown equal 1 second time stop. So, if you havent used it in a day, you can rewind by 10 seconds, then after another 10 seconds of time flow rewind by one, or after 20 seconds for 2 seconds. You remember exactly what happened within that time

But not horny for you, and no, they won't let you watch.

But you're blind.

I can kill people with my pure willpower

But only for 5 seconds, they get sick afterwards.
Super strength without being muscular

but when you do it you get a 11inch dildo inside your ass

The intensity at which it redirects is random, following a bell curve distribution.

You're blind.

only after you drink a pint of aged horse spunk

I can shapeshift into a loli flying brick.

but you have down syndrome

But makes your dick smaller each time

Everyone I touch becomes friendly

But you will be alone for eternity

I am immortal

The object effected will inevitably hit you in the face

I can cast magic fireballs on an opponent

Only while having sex with them, and only before completion.

Ultra fragile bones

I'm able to see through clothes

But every time you do, that weight accumulates and becomes your new mass.

But it costs you 1 finger each time

and you stay that way

universe kerplodes tomorrow

I can taste the inside of other people's mouths just by looking at them

You shit yourself and get anal prolapse from all the effort


I have the power to give/change abilities

only your grandmas

i can kill nigger by thinking of them

Let's revise that. He can only save right before something terrible happens. The amount of time is just enough to realize what is about to happen, but not enough to do something about it.

You're shot, killed, and dissected to learn the secrets of your immortality
>immortal =/= invincible

but only while naked.

My anus can expand infinitely, making me capable of fitting the entire universe inside it.

an iceball with the opposite temparature (if you throw a 1000 degree fireball, its a -1000 degree ice ball) is fired at you

But you have to keep your mouth wide open and scream during the process

You have to touch their heart

only after they fuck your wife

...by breaking bones and let them cure again.

I can to through walls

The mutating of cells creates a horrific cancer

Everyone you look at has sever halitosis

you cant shrink it after expanding it

bumping my previous

only works on gay universes

Works only in space

Every time you think of a nigger, you become more of a nigger

I blow up prostates on contact.

That's not for you to decide and then post it for everyone who says immortality. There is a difference between immortality and biological immortality.

Only while animals are having sex.

Mind control

But you don't undrstand how does your own power work

You're in prison and the niggers explore your asshole.

I can read everyone's mind

but they only look at you

My cock can turn to gold