Last ask me anything thread

Last ask me anything thread
As you may not have known yet, I am a fire fighter, I joined the fire department a little over a year ago, throughout my time as a fire fighter, I have grown very ill-tempered with petty bs & have grown into PTSD as I've lost a few close fire fighters close to me and my district, staying up countless hours during certain calls puts a toll on someone's life. 32+ hours would be the longest time I would have been up during a 2nd alarm, house fire with trapped victims inside, these victims, did not survive. The memory will always be played in my head, "How could I not save them?".This is me letting you know, today I will take my life and end the suffering around me. Today will be the end. Today I will be an hero.

Chill

Fuck no

Do you have a family?

Yeah, I just never talk to them.

b8

Don't do it user.
At least do some MDMA first, or LSD and with some therapy.

OP.
You are worth something. You help people in world stricken with hate. I personally look up to firefighters. I honestly think y'all are the best first responders. Don't do it OP. Get help.

How does it feel to not act on your dreams?

Kek, where would I acquire that.

What about all the good you have done as a fire fighter, the positive impact you've had on your community, lives saved, kittens rescued from trees? Despite the overbearing weight of your job, I'm sure you've done countless good things and made impacts you may not be aware of. Please don't do it OP.

Very shitty, I'm going to do what is needed for my failure.

This was my fith fuck up, I'v scewed up in life. This is the only way to make up for it.

user, you've spent your life helping people, you actually fucking matter man, think of all of the people you'll save in the future. Don't do this, if you die, so do all of the others you could have saved if you were alive.

Yet you send me a picture of a gun..thanks for the motivation.

Make it look like an accident for the sake of those close to you

I'll probably fuck up more, I rather die then hurt anymore of these people.

I highly doubt they would care that much.

user, your inability to save people isn't your fault, you're not superman, use that failure as motivation to save others in the future. If you're gonna off yourself, you better do it attempting to save someone else.

Onions, my friend, onions.
I'd love to help you, but you will have to make your own research. There are legal alternatives like 1P-LSD, novel lysergamides or lysergi.
Also, without therapy, psychedelics can be harmful. But with therapy, it is proven that it can even cure PTSD (psylocibin, mdma, etc). Do your own research.

I'm sure you did everything you could, and even if you feel overwhelmingly that you didn't, you can strive for better in the future. Life is so full of possibilities. Loss is inevitable, especially in your line of work. I'm sure all your colleagues have felt how you do at one point or another.

user you are doing a great job, you might be one of the few people who deserve to be alive tbh

If I kill myself saving sombody wouldn't that mean they would die along with me? Remember this is a fire situation, without gear he/she will die.

You're in the wrong job, not cut out for it. Quit.

Not bein' mean, just the truth.

Me - retired deputy fire chief.

Life that is lost can never be remade. It was my fault. Eye for an eye is the only way,

I said attempting, you'll have the death you desire and you'll be hailed as a hero by your friends, family, and local municipality. But how bout you don't die, and find some help, like the user earlier said, do some drugs, get some help, there's a way out of this shit

Your real funny, i let people die. This shit should not be allowed.

No way. You need to find Jesus my man.

Seems legit

Killing yourself because of someone else's death being out of your control? You're fucking kidding right?

I highly doubt you're a fire chef. And I've already stated I'm going to kill myself.

Then why did you come here?

There is no way out of this hell. Nobody will be able to assist me in the amount of damage and losses that i have caused and done.

Don't you worry about their life, God is just and and their lives are in his hand. Blaming yourself is silly, and that's what the devil wants you to do, because he himself is full of guilt and shame!

Don't take your own life, if you don't want it anymore, give it to someone who does, give it to Jesus :)

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
(Matthew 11:28-30)

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;
(Psalm 34:18-19)

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Romans 8:38-39)

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
(1 Peter 5:6-7)

Tell that to soldiers

I could've save them...I was just weak.

Shit....forgot about that...
Forgive my faggotry OP

Are you sure? Tell us how these people died l

So then people can ask me questions about being a fire fighter. All they seem to want is me to stop me.

This! OP open your heart to this right here.

Don't be a faggot, you want to kill yourself because you couldn't save someone? killing yourself will make you unable to save anyone else, put your shit together and think that those who you didn't saved once, can be the ones you'll save later

Soldiers go out and kill for country, I go out and save for country.

Because you're fucking an heroing when you could be out there saving lives, no one on here cares when a NEET decides to end his shit because he's literally not contributing and being a waste of carbon. You're actually giving people a second chance

Livestream it

Because you matter OP.

Well they are the dumbasses who let their house catch on fire

They fell through a floor and burned to death, I could hear them scream even though it was muffled from the flames flicking.

My point exactly, they literally have to take away people's lives, people who do and don't deserve it. You get to give life

Buddy, this is my fifth fuck up. I'll kill more if I don't do this.

Could you have realistically done anything about that?

I'm thinking about it.

You'll kill wayyyy more if you kill yourself

Find another job then! Life is so full of possibilities.

And it's my job to try and save these people. Even if they did wrong they don't need to die.

But I have killed these people with my stupidity.

Hard to explain, but I could've ran faster to the bed room and pull them out. Of course I had to look people in the basement. That's how I fucked up.

No, people won't suffer from my death.

Dude, that's not fucking up, you did your job the best you could have

You wouldn't understand.

damn how could you let those people die? Don't know if I could live with myself if I fucked up like that

Are you drunk user