Meanwhile in 80 AD Sup Forums

meanwhile in 80 AD Sup Forums

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PUGNAAAARRRREEEEE

TSUUUUU

>implying Celenius isn't a total horsebabby
I'm just saying, you give him and Harenius equally powerful horses, and Harenius wins IX times out of X.

>I rate Maximus

The funny thing about these threads is that they're probably true to a point.

I can already see the fights breaking out between two drunk idiots over which gladiator is better

>Armorican sports

/asp/ is that way >>>>

These games have too many fucking ads lately

I overheard someone in the forum saying Jannyolus STILL does it for free

Hell, take a look at Roman graffiti. That shit was like 90% implying people's mothers and wives were whores.

>Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.
>Salvius wrote this
Holy shit, it's the Roman version of Caspere knew this.

a-actually the correct imperative 1 plural form is "pugnate"

Since these bloody Romans came there's been too much diving in the Arena.

Heem prediction

Oogaboogah Slave from central Africa by mace to the face

co main

Elephant by truk strangle first 2 min.

Is an lion an athlete?

>(Pottery Shop or Bar of Nicanor; right of the door); 10070: Lesbianus, you defecate and you write, ‘Hello, everyone!’

2,000 years and nothing has changed but the medium

Hahahah IX out of X

Laughed way too hard at this, quality post my dude

There are some real quality posts in this thread tb h fäm

Tiberius will make Rome great again.

>b-but he grabs little boys by the dick

leave the boyfuckers to me

>I.2.20 (Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio); 3932: Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
>I.2.23 (peristyle of the Tavern of Verecundus); 3951: Restitutus says: “Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates”.
>II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8767: Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.

>[Severus]: “Successus, a weaver, loves the innkeeper’s slave girl named Iris. She, however, does not love him. Still, he begs her to have pity on him. His rival wrote this. Goodbye.”.
>[Answer by Successus]: “Envious one, why do you get in the way. Submit to a handsomer man and one who is being treated very wrongly and good looking.”
>[Answer by Severus]: “I have spoken. I have written all there is to say. You love Iris, but she does not love you.”

>Submit to a handsomer man and one who is being treated very wrongly and good looking.
Holy shit, it's the Roman Elliot Rodger.

Is Titus /ourguy/

>tfw there were no cameras back then so we'll never get to see all the shockingly violent spectacles.

>I.7.8 (bar; left of the door); 8162: We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.

What part of the Pax Romana are you lads from?

Aquitania here.

Caledonians getting absolutely destroyed

╔═════════════════ ೋღღೋ ════════════════╗
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong iceni woman ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don’t need no pax romana ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
╚═════════════════ ೋღღೋ ════════════════╝

oops i didn't exist

0/10 year not enough pogroms

DON'T PAINT IT

Stationed in Gaul right now, we're crossing the Rhine soon into the Tittyberg forest or whatever. Just got promoted to the Primi Ordines and my father arranged a marriage to pretty girl back in Ravenna.

I'll probably go into office when I get out in a few weeks.

...

The fuck are these click bait adverts? when did this happen?

>Punic Wars reenactment in the Colosseum
>Non Est Me played by musicians

>tfw the lads in 3952 Sup Forums will occasionally make a thread called "meanwhile in 2016 Sup Forums"
>tfw these threads will occasionally feature Trump memes
>tfw Donald Trump has transformed himself from a minor pop culture figure that would be forgotten within a generation to a major historical figure whose ascendancy represented a turning point in the power structure of the world's foremost civilization, a la Marius or the Gracchi, assuring he will be remembered forever
>tfw Rome never truly fell
>tfw America will not truly fall

Wew lads.

Romulus and Remus wouldn't suck on her

>Zeus keeps hurling thunderbolts at Athens during the summer solstice

What did he mean by this?

>getting triggered just because the Legions murdered your husband and raped your daughters

SJWs piss me off so much lads.

>Successus, a weaver, loves the innkeeper’s slave girl named Iris. She, however, does not love him. Still, he begs her to have pity on him. His rival wrote this. Goodbye.

BTFO
T
F
O

>It's another ''Emperor doesn't last more than three years'' episode

I thought we were done with those episodes after Vespasian.

What was the greater German accomplishment, Teutoburg Forest or 7-1?

>LGTSS
>Carthage

>VII - I

>mfw the Lions went 0-16 against the Christians
I mean fvck they have a 300lb size advantage how do they keep losing.

>not weeping at the destruction of a worth adversary

Parthian detected.

>Rome
>worthy adversaries

Pick unum fatuii

>Try to meme magic by putting Elephants on the offence
>Get BTFO by the based Alps
>Fall just short of Rome
>Can't mount a decent defence the moment we, the Romans strike back
>Get BTFO hardest than every city-state before, and spill untold amounts of salt afterward

THE CITY OF CARTHAGE, OR BETTER SAID:

>SALTHAGE

>Tfw based Celtic masterrace

>beer-drinking races

>Egypt
>Put a woman in charge for the first time
>Collapse as an empire despite having founded meme magic

What did they mean by this?

>Hannibal wins 18 battles in Italy
>loses the Battle for Carthage

XVIII-I

>doubting the Fabian strategy

SHIGGY, etc.

Bitch couldn't get enough of the Big Roman Cock tbqh.

>I rate Harenius
*tips pileus*

Is an horse an athlete?

Well if they can be senators...

Just lost 50 denarii betting on that champion gladiator against emperor Commodus. Fucking rigged!

Who will win the naumachiab owl fratres?

>non est me
>it aint me

Claudius is closer to our guy.

That Germany victory may be the last one we see before it's a Caliphate, gotta give it to 7-1.

Leonidas is the GOAT nobody will ever pass his 12 crowns

>"Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!"

pretty much Sup Forums in a nutshell

>>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1882: The one who buggers a fire burns his penis

I wish there's more of such graffiti from history past, they're a fascinating window to humanity back then that recorded history can't describe

Some of you guys are alright, don't come to the Colosseum tomorrow

Is he elite?

>"chariot races are Morse entertaining and far less violent"

>>Successus the weaver is in love with the slave of the innkeeper, whose name is Iris. She doesn't care about him at all, but he asks that she take pity on him.
>>A rival wrote this

>>You're so jealous you're bursting. Don't tear down someone more handsome―
>>a guy who could beat you up and who is good-looking.

This must be what ancient Rome Facebook feels like

>people still watch "chariot turn left"
Nice "sport" you have there Caesar

What was his fucking problem?

>System babby.

Dude would be nowhere without the fucking phalanx formation

>Using ballistae in a field battle
Ultimate meme general

Even though they mocked his hair, calling it fake, he showed those lefties just where their place is by putting his horse in the Senate

>Colonia Claudia Ara Agrippinensium

Getting called little boots his whole life had something to do with it. Drinking lead spiked wine from lead cups and pitchers didn't help

...

More /fit/ in a nutshell

im fucking dying

Fucking Greens

The fact that this actually happened is a perfect example of why politics needs to stay seperate of sports.

He actually wasn't a bad emperor at all, all of the crazy evil stories about him come from his political opponents. Imagine if everything you knew about Trump was from the Huffington Post.

>tfw Barca and Real are headed in this direction
>tfw we'll get to see them burn down Spain

Anyone else think the persecution of Christians is a bit much?

N-Not that I am one.

sourcebooks.fordham.edu/halsall/source/theophanes-chron1.html


>Greens: "We'll become Jews, God knows, it is better to be a pagan than Blue!"
>Blues: "Such hatred frightens us."
>Greens: "We hope your bones will be thrown into the sewer."

Why were the Greens so based?

>The emperor is fucking a jew queen
THE JEWS CONTROL EVERYTHING BY THEIR VAGINA

Someone redpill me on pic related and why are they dominating the European leagues?

>implying Christians can spell
B8 harder, m8

>The custodian works as a slave

>taking shit in streets because drunk
>some overweight goon in a ill fitting toga and a club walks up
>"h-hey stop that I'll kick you out of the city! I know caesar."
>my boys sneak up behind and push him over into my shit
>walk away laughing our asses off because he works night patrol for 0 Denarii

Don't forget that they unironically almost killed the most important emperor in post-Constantine Rome. Imagine that, an entire empire crashing down because of some refball.

>It's an Sup Forums - /his/ crossboard memeing special episode

Less refball and more "Blue and Green Lives Matter" (backed by pissed off politicians)

>Imagine if they read this in several thousand years, Gaius. Out freindship truly will live on forever

Tfw too intelligent to enjoy glorious murder and mishap like the common rabble.

>He rates Retiarius over Murmillo

ooga booga, where the white women at?

What do you guys think was Milo acting in self defense?

who was in the wrong here

Is killing christians a sport?

>tfw christians take over and roman immediately implodes
>somehow I'm the bad guy