I'm an MP and I fucking hate my life. AMA

I'm an MP and I fucking hate my life. AMA.

Proof or gtfo

I think that's pretty standard for MPs.

SF in the USAF is no different. Cross train asap or get out, it doesn't get better.

Go into finance, they don't even need to know their own job, and get paid the same amount to take training days constantly and get guaranteed hour long lunches.

Where you stationed at nig?

Do you enjoy eating dog food?

What's an MP? my pony?

>What's Google?

Military Police

...

So you're neither military nor police?

Have you found the Officers missing hat yet?

it's aight

was in an mp unit in the national guard myself

Also share us some of dem naked lady soldiers you've got stashed up

am not marine :(

no

Why do you hate your job?

hell on earth

people are retarded and don't know how to not break the law and in the process make my life a living a hell

Are you fucking retarded?

Do you know anything about the military?

I have a feeling you won't be able to really grasp the whole idea without some experience in the military.

So fort Polk or Bragg

Aaaaaairborne

Why did you decide to be a faggot instead of going 11 or 18 series?

>be me
>be stationed on fort Bragg right next to mp barracks
>watch every weekend as everyone else goes out and has fun
>mp lot is still full of same cars
>poor bastards never get those invites to anything
>start to feel bad
>get ticket for speeding
>fuck mps
Change your mos anything would be better

my recruiter fucking swindled me my dude

can whitebois ever hope to compete?

so he's neither smart nor contributing to society?

Tale as old as time

Fucking crosstrain dude. The only future in MP's is an anxiety disorder, receding hairline, alcoholism, and eventual suicide.

tfw u probably see my car :(

My dude.

suicide sounds appealing

little ceasers or papa johns

Papa Johns because they deliver to my barracks really fast

Damn bro try not shooting yourself
can you at least drink your sorrows away?

god bless you op

If you were in the barracks of butner and capron yeah probably

I used to drink a lot but that not much anymore

Why dont you just kill yourself? Dont you have a gun?

that shitty 9 mm will probably just give me brain damage and turn me into a vegetable if I tried to use it

First question: what is a "MP"?

Military Police my dude

Second question:
And what does the military police... do?
Do they do military things like defending the country from outside threats? Or do they do police things like defend the population from inside criminals?

Arrest drunk retards on post for beating their spouses or drunk driving

Both friendo! we go through cycles of patroling them mean streets/guarding the gates onto base and a cycle of making sure we are combat ready in case we need to invade some desert and fuck some hajis up

this description is bretty gud

This sounds like paramilitary gendarmery crap. Is this the US we're talking about. Isn't paramilitary activity unconstitutional in the US?

How is this bad?

MPs are police for military personnel. It's just a solider that's tasked with policing other soldiers in summary.

I dunno about all that but yeah i'm in the US Army

Because op is a lazy ne'er-do-well fucker probably like 18-22 and thought joining the military would be some big adventure, like the commercials say, lol

Ooooooooooooh! I get it now. MP is to the military what Internal Affairs is to the police.
Well, in this case, OP, YOUR JOB SOUNDS FUCKING AWESOME! YOU ARE THE FUCKING POLICE OF THE MILITARY! WHAT THE FUCK?! THIS IS THE MOST HARDCORE JOB I'VE EVER HEARD OF!

It's military police, dude. They police other service members. They are supposed to do nothing but basically bow down to civilian US citizens while in uniform.

>is lazy because i dont like 15 hours of fuck fuck games and dealing with drunk retards every goddam day

It's a shitty job, but you didn't have to take it, did you, m8? But you did.

The reality is quite different. They're more like garbagemen.

Im an engineer and we hate your life too

That bullshit glorification is probably exactly how his recruiter swindled him.

tyfys

lol
more like being the designated people dealing with drunks, angry hotheads, scandalous liars and idiots.

No not even close

> Get a call 10mins before shift change
> Noise complaint (probably a fucking domestic)
> Arrive on scene in base housing
>Hear couple yelling and children crying
> Knock on door
>Fat dependent spawn answers
> Hear Jabba the hut roar who it is
> Tell kid to go to his room and I Introduce myself to Sgt trailer trash and Jabba
Should I continue?

>Be a hero
>Post results

Dude, I imagine policing the general population is bad enough. as an MP you would be dealing with the worst SOLIDERS, so imagine how belligerent and the egos you have to deal with.

PLEASE, DO!

Sounds like you've been busted by the mp

SO-53S9
E-1
Open my gate bitch

You people are ignorant and bone-headed. Just because you wouldn't like to have OP's job doesn't mean I wouldn't too. You have to love a job, your job or otherwise. I would kill for a chance to boss defective soldiers around. I see the glamor where you don't.

OK
> Try to separate them and get each of their stories on what's going on
> Also call in for back up so I can hopefully pass it on
>Janna the hut is pissed since Sgt trailer trash won't let her spend any more of his money on stupid shit
>Sgt TT confirms that story and that she had also drown plates around In protest
>Jabba says its unfair since she got no jerb and she works so hard in keeping the house together and raising their 4 spawn

>E-1
>commenting at all on how the military is

Spend another year in, so you forget how the good times were and you have no basis to really judge the depth of your despair, then come back and complain faggot. You've got no idea.

My brother is kinda directionless and his wife is trying to trick him into enlisting because she's a stupid bitch that wants him gone so she can take his military pay and cuck his ass while he's away.

I can't tell him that stuff, though, because no proof, so what can I tell him about actually being enlisted that will scare him? Not sure what branch he's thinking about. Might be AF, which I know is easier than the others.

I don't think you understand the full scope of the job.

Man, OP, it's pretty clear you either don't like your job, or you are not prepared for it yet, or you just have other things on your mind like regrets and shit. I would love your job, and I would know what to do. You have to fuck them. You are superior to them. They are trash. You can't abuse their fundamental human rights, but other than that you should fuck them.

You shuttle drunk, asvab waivered soldiers who were just trained to think they are the toughest and meanest most testosterone filled people on earth to their CO's
That job would suck.

It's more like trying to herd angry goats, though, than what I think you're imagining. They are still your peers. Maybe even your superiors. So it's not like the civilian police that have a national fraternity and official "us vs everyone else" position.

It doesn't seem very glamorous to me, but I'm sure someone out there is all psyched up about his MP patch.

You're a fucking moron.sorry, ET-1. Obviously a SO wouldn't be an E1 you fucking idiot. Just with out of SQT your an E4. If I spent all my hours typing on Sup Forums I wouldn't make typos.

I know the job isn't all candy and whatnot. But it's a pretty cool job, dude. I'm telling you, to each his own. Some people like drawing artsy-fartsy shit, some people like teaching snotty kids, some people like bossing defective soldiers around. It's the differences of preferences between us that make the world go round and the economy diversified.

Come and get me MP. I'll be at the gate.

>37.234332396 -115.80666344

>By the looks of the house and the children and how the place smells like I would say her work is sub par and probably spends most her day watching TV or at Scentsy parties
> I wanna get the fuck outta here and tell them to calm down and keep it down, inform them that there is marriage counseling and other services and that if she needs more spending money she can always get a job at the PX or wherever
>Jabba grumbles and agrees and I just look at Sgt TT with the it sucks to be you eyes
> End call go home get drunk master bate sleep

FIN

That's what most calls are like unless people are actually violent or some shit

Thats the thing, it isn't bossing anybody around. Its stopping them because they were speeding in base housing, listening to them get pissed off, and then being ostracized by the rest of the people on base that aren't MP's.

Except, having spent a decade in the U.S. Army, I actually know what MPs fucking do and know it's largely a boring, stressful, and thankless job that's nothing like your assumption, and recruiters, doing what recruiters do, talk it up in order to keep the career field manned.

>inside criminals
People trained to kill or with raging PTSD can do funny things.

REAL WORLD ASSHOLE
Piss

I would rather talk to those shit soldier punks than to you motherfuckers. You are intellectually bigoted if you think just because you don't have the testes for the job nobody does. I would totally fuck that shit with a shit on top. I would study the procedure and I would cleanse the stuff and I would keep it nice and clean and organized, man.

do what the rest of us do, take it out on the officers, good morning sir were gonna need to sweep your vehicle, good afternoon sir gonna need to search your bag, good morning sir insert next random time wasteing task like takeing a tidius amount of time to check the cac card. an knife hand everyone you meat

Clearly I'm a moron. The only colloquialism that is shared between the forces is the thing you made a "typo" about, and I'm the one who needs to be judged.

Its cool though, the rest of the ranks suck as well. E-4 is the only tolerable rank.

Well, go for it bro. Give em' hell or whatever. lol

I'm not op and there are times I like the job and have fun with it this is just a general day at work friendo. Also you don't want to piss of the community and make people hate you it will make the job harder. You are not a drill Sgt or anything or have super awesome authoritah on the job
And like I said most of the time it's dealing with drunks or people's families or bldg alarms set off by wildlife

Fucking wimp. You have zero idea how good you got it now. 2 buddies of mine joined the Marines. I went to College. They get VA shit, Mortgages, free school, plus everyone says "thank you for your service" whenever they walk around with their Marine Corps hat on.

I get to be told to fuck off by the Bank, have to pay my School Loans, and the only thing people say to me these days is "stop touching yourself when HS girls walk by in the mall, you fucking creep"...

Should have joined the coast guard

That's cool, man, but again, it's not like civillian police where it's "You VS Them" It's all "You" in the military. Or at least it's supposed to be.

So unless someone's being violent or really dangerous or you just love alienating yourself from your peers, then you can't act like a Gestapo to your m8s.

So I guess you are NOT enjoying your cult.

Then be a man and quit.

>it isn't bossing around
Implying I couldn't boss them around a lilbit to show them they have to respect fucking law and order..
Implying they can fuck my shit...
>being ostracized
Yeah right, like the rest of the military isn't happy if I got rid of the defectives, amirite?
Nobody told you you can get rich being a MP, kiddo.
LOL, you're a cute nigger.

You're a SEAL like I'm the fucking pope, kid.

Change MOS, retake ASVAB if need higher score.
GT110 or higher can go any where. When I was in.

>This is the type of mentality of the guy everyone in the unit hates
Go for it breh and post your experience :^)

Are you like 16 or something? You sound like you just hit puberty and think it's all about acting tough, or something.

I'm not an MP, dipshit.

>implying telling indolent drunks to cut the shit is Gestapo
I mean, you demonize the military drunks and abusers, but then you say that if told them to cut the fucking shit, I would be fanatic Gestapo. Make up your mind, preferably today.