ITT: We work in an office

ITT: We work in an office

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I work in a office.

My wife is fucking niggers and I want to hang myself with the phone cord.

There goes Chad microwaving fucking fish again, can we make a goddamn office policy about this?

Im not coming in on sunday

Ah, ah, I almost forgot... I'm also going to need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too. We, uhhh, lost some people this week and we sorta need to play catch-up. Mmmmmkay? Thaaaaaanks.

Re: fwd, fwd, fwd, fwd, fwd, fwd

OMG!!! have you guys seen this??? i LOL'ed. i really, really, really like this image

who's the cocksucker that walked away from a K22 paper jam????? fucking savages

Yeeeeaaaahh, I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday...

Remember this Sundays going to be the annual Company Picnic! Bring the whole family!

hey, i just sent you an email.

Does anyone else smell something burning?

I believe you have my stapler.

I jacked off on my female coworkers dental floss.

that's chad nuking his fish

oh my god, yeah. it might be Chad's lunch.

i thought i was the only one who does this. so this is what it sounds like when doves cry.

I believe you have my tapler

ALRIGHT EVERYONE REMAIN CALM, FIND THE EXITS, WOMEN AND WHITE MEN FIRST

Hi yes im from IT... ah yes i see the problem. You need to hold this key, this key and... this key.

No, yeah thats what it means by ctrl alt del on the monitor. The screen. You know the message that you read to me. Yeah that.

I picked my nose and rubbed the boogers down my cubicle wall.

Is it okay if I sexually harass my female coworkers, or is that against the rules? Is rape cool here?

just call Demetrius down hes got it

Fuck off satan

Hey guys...just gonna...steal these office supplies...thanks

hey idiot we have flexible seating in this office, who would you leave your stuff in one place for more then on day!!!!!!

I usually jack off on the side of the stall in the bathroom.

Walk past fucking Brenda's cubicle and see she's gone.
hold down ctrl alt down-arrow then walk away
spend the next 20 minutes listening to half the office trying to turn her cubicle upside down

Hey, so I can't come in on saturday, if the Office is burnt down, right?

Does anyone mind if I cut a glory hole into the side of my cubicle?

>Send Junkies to molest my boss
That'll teach that bitch for sending me to HR

Oh, and remember: next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

fuck you fags i don't need premission. I'm doin it anyways

Anyone mind if I pile drive Barbs cunt on top of her desk while Rick sticks his pinkie in her ass?

I don't

OH FUCK THE MONTHLY REPORTS

this like the best idea ever. teamleader of this guys.

Please do this in the cubicle next to mine, I'll watch from my newfound glory hole!!

Haha that is classic Bill

Hey carl, the client is needing that two week look ahead for the parkway project, I need it by noon.

>fucks off til noon, then leaves for lunch

Careful... there may be blood.

I heard Janice is fucking Bob behind josh's back!! Scandalous

GUYS SOMEBODY JUST MURDERED THE BOSS, ONE OF US MUST BE THE KILLER!

Leave it to the niggers

Pam is giving gobbies in the 3rd stall of the men's room during lunch today.

I NEED MORE FUCKING STAPLES

Really? I heard Bob was fucking Josh, and Janice was fucking ugly

Why the fuck is my desk on fire?

I think I saw a gun in Steve's bag the other day, I hope he's feeling alright...

Why is there a picture of my dick on the office daily report?

Ever since Steve started growing his hair out, I knew this day would come. Let's just hope he doesn't do anything too-

OP sexually assaulted me last night and I thought I felt penetration, does this mean I have to file a relationship disclosure report?

Wait....who do we all work for ?

How do you know thats your dick Jeff?

Yeah, I'd totally turn this into a career if I knew what the hell I do.

Mr. Boss clearly

u gotta be fucking kidding me! no offence. people actually work like this. jesus christ, talk to your boss work from home god damn it!

Guys, I just got a call from the ISP supervisor and he says he has a thousand different visits to Ex-Hentai on my computer. How do I delete this before he fucks everything up and tells my hyper feminist boss?

Because Pams is the only woman that i slept with and she gave me her herpe.

How can I approach Blind Sally without getting into conflict with the company policy on sexual harsassment?

>makes paper airplane
>throws at OP
>hits eye
Headshot!!!

Yeah, it's your ass.

How do I get fired? I hate it here...gonna go join steve and do kek's will

Looks state of the art

Nope, you still have to come in on that day.

Laura keeps walking by my cubicle and crop dusting me. Can I file a harassment report? I don't fucking care if she's pregnant.

and why are her shoe laces always tied to the side? Is she retarded?

It's not called "Hawaiian Shirt Day" faggot it's "Aloha Friday" get it right. Otherwise we are having a discussion when score cards come out

You don't know what your dick looks like?

So i should delete system32, right?

CAROL, I NEED THOSE TPS REPORTS

You must work for our German division!

SWEET!

>Yes, your new password is 'Password1234' with a capital p
>Are the numbers in capital?
>....
>...
>..

It might be "Aloha Friday" on your floor, but catch me on my floor howbowdah

Yes id like to file sexual assault...

Since you're fat and not a party animal, Aloha Friday is now cancelled. There'll be no cultural appropriation. Or Niggers

That is all

I Sure Am Looking Forward To Drinking Some Ice-cold Reeb for more Slandery and Mockery!

thats what Zach from IT told me to do

...wait, did I call call the wrong ext.?

You must of misheard him, he told you to delete your asshole.

Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?

Fuck this office I got the secretary

No if you want the public holiday off you have to email all the team leaders a month in advance.

But you are Milt and you don't work here.

Office isn't open on Sunday
- it guys

How many times can I move these reports around my desk before everybody figures out I don't actually do anything here?

O-ok, have a good weekend Pete!

It's okay, we just dick around on vidya all day and only install adobe reader
-It guys

>We've all had the secretary.
Get yourself tested.

you know Pete? Here, give him my phone cord, I never answer my desk phone anyway, plus that faggot always shares reheated fish with Chad in the office.

KEK

Jesus you guys where is my WENUS!?

youtube.com/watch?v=o91oclUZr9g

Your wife is a man with a mop on his head.

I'm leaving early today its friday
thanks to everyone covering for me

...

I just finished the first draft of our QBR and sent it off to the Chicago manager so she could review it. We'll see what the service delivery director says on Monday after he reviews it as well. Also I think I heard Nicole fart when she thought she was alone in the kitchen and it kinda turned me on...

JEFF YOU FUCKED WITH THE RADAR AGAIN

nooner or sooner muthafukkaaaaassss

Word on the street...I heard it two floors up...is that the service delivery director is out to get you. Also, Nicole farts in the cubicle next to me all day.

Actually I haven't seen him around in a while. He hasn't showed up all week. Someone should really go check on him.

*phone rings*

Fuck these threads and fuck all of you losers who post in them.