So the other day,me and my small group of friends figure we're going to go to the movies In this group of friends is a cute white girl who I've been flirting with for awhile,but still havent had sex with,let's call her Kat I get to the movie theater and see she brought a dude with her Neckbeard,Dead Pool hat,baggy clothes,the works I dap him and and be sure to give Kat and nice long hug after him Look him in the eye and smirk alittle We all figure we're going to eat before the movie Homeboy is starting to sweat >"You good man?" >"Yeah,I'm just not sure if I have enough money to eat here" Kat offers to pay for him and I insist I help out my "new friend" He orders something small,we all eat and have a good time The time for the bill comes and Kats chip isnt working She doesnt know what to do because she doesnt have any cash >"Oh don't worry,I've got it" Feel the smug asshole brewing inside me Pull out my card and pay for all of us >"Thanks user,you're the best!" She kisses me on my cheek and we all get up to leave We're all leaving and he taps me on my shoulder >"Hey man,do you mind if in the theater I sit next to kat,I think I might have a shot tonight" >"Sure my man,I know your fight"
Henry Johnson
>be me >in high school >some cunt is about to be bashed by a couple of guys >he shits his pants and doesn't know what to do >pays some niggers $100 to protect him >niggers take his money but don't protect him >he gets bashed >he cries >really embarrassing too watch >beta as fuck
Jaxon Barnes
I like where this is going
Asher Cooper
Jeez op YOU have a shot. If you're gonna give up this chick to some fucking beta faggot you deserve to be alone. Get up and do something seal the deal
Thomas Long
We still have a couple hours before the movie starts so I suggest we hit the bar We're all drinking alittle having a good time Homeboy gets up to pee,and Kat moves to the free seat next to me >"Hey user,I wanted to show you think thing on Facebook" We're having a good time laughing at whatever meme is on her phone Dude comes back and sees us laughing together He tries to get her attention by showing her something >"One sec,I wanted to show user this video" It's starting to eat at him After a couple shots were all pretty buzzed and get ready to go back to the theater It's like 11 oclock so for some reason no one was at the ticket booth so we just went in The theater is almost empty We all sit in the middle of the theater when homeboy talks to me again >"Hey user,can I have that seat" >"Sure bruh,you shoot your shot"
Isaac Barnes
I think it already went, retard.
Owen Jackson
Fake news
Isaiah Hill
>pee
Are you 7?
Lincoln Thomas
N F A K E W S
Owen Smith
Tf do you say, urinate?
Aaron Turner
yeah no pal that doesn't work
Julian Parker
thx4tip
James Robinson
I'm not too worried about tonight because I know I can smash this ho when I want to We're about 40 minutes into the movie and I have to get up and piss,I let everyone know so they can get out of the way Then I hear Kat say "Oh yeah me too" She's behind me while I go to the bathroom I piss,come out and see kat smiling and waiting for me We're walking back to the theater and she says >"Hold on user" >Yo whats up >"Do you mind if we just walk for alittle bit,I'm not feeling this lame ass movie" I agree with her and we get the fuck We're walking back to my car and we're just talking about shit >So what's the deal with you and homeboy? >"He's just a friend,I know he likes me but He's not quite me,he's too vanilla" I dont know if she was saying he was too white or anything but I wasnt worried about that at the time
>Cont
Blake Richardson
you fucks from the 90s?
Levi Watson
I'm like the only one who actually wants to hear this I think
Alexander Mitchell
>be me >be going to movie with small group of friends >this one girl brings her loli friend >tfw i spend the whole movie criticizing the shallow plot and graphics >and making tonnes of black jokes >how do i come back from this /b?
Benjamin Reed
nah i'm here
Thomas Reyes
I do
Michael Price
Let him finish!
Levi Cruz
We get back to my car,where I had a joint rolled in my console >You smoke? She says not really but she will with me >THESE CHEEKS ARE MINE we light the j,get to talking for awhile I'm looking out the window,turn back around Shes taken off her jacket and stuff and she just had on this thin tank top "You getting comfy" "Yeah,it's just warm in here" I turn on the AC,and I see them nipples getting hard >"I dont mean to complain user,but can you turn the ac off" >Tell her its so we can get the smoke out of the car >Why dont you just put your jacket back on >she grabs my arm >You're pretty warm tho
Sebastian Reyes
I don't see how you could possibly fuck this up op
Jose White
Shut the fuck up during movies
Nolan Thomas
pls op cont faster
John Robinson
This is /b, don't jump to conclusions
Parker Baker
Word of wisdom white girls chasing black dudes are 90% of the time fucked in the head. But given the choice between you and cargo shorts I don't blame her. I'll share a story
>be me >supposed to go to concert with friends, shit happened, end up going just me and this girl I barely know (friend of a friend) >whatever, hit it off >she's got a boyfriend >she invites me to one of his parties tho >figure whatever I'll have some drinks and meet a few people >everyone there is skinny and ugly as fuck >only person I end up actually enjoying talking to is our girl >not surprisingly she wants me to give her some 6'2 ruski dick >while her bf is hammered I fuck her in the upstairs bathroom
Yeah yeah it's not a beta story but I don't feel like greentexting. When you're at parties make sure you know where your girl is
Parker Cox
>she grabs my arm >You're pretty warm tho
No one fucking talks like this.
Brody Flores
Best beta male story I have heard so far.
"I voted for Donald Trump"
Jack Gonzalez
Make movies good enough for me to not critique them
Xavier White
I have never met someone who was pro Hillary or Bernie that looked like they had any testosterone in them at all. Trump was the alpha male candidate
Ryan Johnson
Nah man critique it in your head. Nobody likes a smartass who talks too much. I don't care how intellectual you are
William Green
Trump voters are all cuckolds.
David Young
Says the faggot voting for shillary
Dominic Rodriguez
>"Woah Kat,you better stop right there unless you ready to get fucked" >I dont know about that,but lets see where we're gonna go >I lay out the blanket and pillow I keep in my trunk on my back seat and we start making out kissing on her neck and shit,white girls love that feeling on her tiddies >big ass areolas too I try to undo her bra and she stops me >bad touch? >No,It's just that I know if I let you go any further,I'm gonna fuck you in this car,user >"It's up to you,just let me know" Go back to kissing her and things are getting litterally hot Like a nigga is sweating Take off my shirt,Game over Shes taken off her bra,now shes on top of me,pulling on my dreads,like I hit this bitches crazy button or something She pulls out my cock >"Holy shit user" She starts sucking on my cock and jacking the SHIT out of me I've never actually seen a chick smile with a dick in her mouth,shit was wild
>Almost done
Nathan Smith
Thats exactly what I said to her
Oliver Carter
Where's neckbeard?
Brody Long
In the parking lot, masturbating furiously
Wyatt Robinson
i think that shithead is still in the movie
Anthony Harris
JESUS CHRIST DONNIE HE'S STILL WATCHING THE MOVIE TRY TO STAY WITH THE STORY.
Xavier Rogers
Wait so you paid for everything for everyone that night?
Nathaniel Price
>be me in high school > moved from town I've spent a lot of my life in >take old an friend that's been my buddy for years to Disney > he is socially retarded let's call him Jim > see a couple of qt 3.14 girls getting off a ride > one kinda rocks a punk vibe whilst other is nerdy > make conversation because I'm out of my social retard phase and punk girls are hot > become fast friends with the both of them and Jim states he likes the nerdy girl > help one of them find their watch or some shit and good vibes from the both of them grow > nerdy girl straight up tells me she likes jim and wants me to hook her up and tells me punk girl is interested in me > I tell jim he gets excited goes up to talk to her than stops in his tracks and pussies out > "dude this is dumb we should just go and do are own thing" > I saw fuck you you're not ruining this for me > tell nerdy girl to start the convo > starts asking questions > punk girl is now bored and wants to do her own thing > me and Jim go Me and Jim leave the park >Jim is getting stoned back at my place > ask about nerdy girl > Jim starts crying about how pathetic he is >mfw before I left I got both of there numbers (as friends though) > mfw your friend is crying himself to sleep because he couldn't say hi >mfw he is still a virgin
Lucas Mitchell
Is "DONNIE" a reference to the frosted flakes commercial?
Nicholas Cooper
MONEY AIN'T NO THANG
Evan White
you're out of your element, Donnie
Joshua Miller
Shes still sucking me,really well too,like I'm about to bust after a few minutes Tell her I'm getting close and she says its okay she'll swallow it >BITCH I nut in her mouth,she swallows and even licks the rest from the side of her mouth >remember this part guys We get our shit back together and her phone rings >It's homeboy >"Hey you guys didnt come back to the theater and I wanted to see where you went" >Shes holding back laughing when she tells him we went for a walk and got lost in the dark >We walk back to the theater holding hands,cause why not >Everyone else has left and dude is waiting for the two of us,alone >He said he was waiting so he could tell her good I can feel his poor awkwardness >Here comes the kicker guys He goes to kiss her on the cheek >WHERE MY FUCKING NUT WAS I'm almost loosing my shit Kat has the biggest wtf on her face >"How are you getting home dude?" >he tells me he'll catch an uber Offer to take his ass home We all go back to my car He goes to get in the back seat and all the windows are still fogged and the car smells like sex
Adrian Phillips
Are you retarded or something?
Oliver Lewis
I love me some frosted flakes
Owen Martinez
big lebowski
Isaac Murphy
Most white chicks who like niggers are usualy ugly and or fat. Is it the case? Not that you would say it anyway.
Parker Gomez
I would like to think not
Dylan Lopez
Be me in Highschool Freshman year, meet this senior pretty cool guy, has a car and stuff, only see him during one of my periods, but he seems to like me
>Walking back home after school ends >Senior bud passes me in his car >He makes a U-turn, pulls up next to me >Notice he has two girls from school riding with him in the back >One is a blonde blue eyed, slightly chubby but attractive Junior >Second is a freshman Brunette with hazel eyes >"Hey user, pick one and lets go to my place" Confused as to whats happening >Me: What you can't handle them yourself? slight laughter >Me: Are you serious? lul you're messing with me right haha >keep walking , stupidly amused Next day Senior bud hardly addresses me anymore
Kevin Adams
Sad to say but I've never actually seen it hence my not understanding of the reference. I would like to apologize for my ignorance
Joseph King
You didn't even fuck her ass and piss in her mouth you stupid nigger. 0/10 REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! !!!!!
Isaac Baker
This guy is a fucking nihilist
Grayson Collins
I'm blasting music that is intentionally black ass shit >Run the jewels,Bone Crusher,21 Savage,nigga shit >Get him home first He tells me and Kat good night and we wait for someone,who I assume is his mom,to let him in. >He goes in and we bust out laughing >"He likes you so much,dude I almost feel sorry for him" >Kat says hes just a kid and not to worry about him >I'm about to take her back home and she basically asks if I want to crash and crush with her tonight >We get to her apartment,her room mate is knocked out on the couch >It's like 2Am >I"m almost too tired to fuck but something pulls the energy out of me >We smushing until about 3AM and then we pass out
Kevin Watson
You got that guy a threesome be proud. Ultimate wingman taking a hit for the team
Dominic Barnes
you got fuckin dreads m'nigga? shits filthy
Jonathan Sanchez
Forreal I can smell them from here
Josiah Robinson
White ignorance is always funny. Dreads aren't gross unless they never get washed, like white gutter punk dreads.
Christian Sullivan
I get up before her because I'm used to early mornings Figure I'm gonna blow this bitches mind and make her breakfast Manage to make some decent eggs with what they had after I got some iced coffee from the dunkin donuts down starts Wake her up >"Hey,last night was awesome. I made you some breakfast but I gotta to work" >This was a lie She says okay, eats her food and sees me out I'm on my way home feeling good,not only because I got some ass,but essentially stole ass from someone else >Mfw this nigga is in our chat and has no idea that I've already nutted in this waifus mouth
Oliver Garcia
This.
I go to a very "diverse" college. Dreads everywhere, and I've never smelled anything beyond the normal nigger smell.
Julian Wood
My nigga
Jeremiah Flores
I wash my hair every other day bro,I'm always taking care of myself Thats why white girls are always on us and not yall. If you took some pride in your appearance,took a shower and actually tried to look nice,you might get some ass
James Wood
You know he's gonna shoot up his school now, thanks to you.
Gabriel Baker
Worth
Evan Perez
No one talks to *you* like this.
Evan Sanders
You can stop it and be a hero and get even more ass, you just gotta catch him with his backpack full of mags and whatever else he's gonna have
Oliver Robinson
Worst story of the day. Please drink bleach and do sudoku
Julian Harris
>greentext
Jackson Campbell
Never thought I'd live to see the day a black man is telling me to take pride in my appearance let alone shower.
Joshua Adams
>Be me >Be the awkward dude in the story >Be 5'5 :(
Jeremiah Mitchell
The times they are a changing, you inbred sack of shit
Parker Carter
Thats how we get you,we wait for yall go get comfy and then we snatch it
Jack Walker
Lmao, fucking blm peice of shit.
Gabriel Peterson
If that helps you feel better about yourself dude
Wyatt Garcia
Lol what a triggered cuck snowflake you are today!
Gabriel Hill
Learn to loose faggot.
Owen Gutierrez
not really a story but my friends used to always slap my girlfriends ass in the hallway when i was in high school, i never really thought anything of it at the time.