Who doesn't like these sort of things?

Who doesn't like these sort of things?


Super Speed

I always have just enough money in my pocket

having to suck a large nigger dick everytime you post something on the internet

Only works with your eyes closed
But the pocket is in whatever pants you left at home
It's yours, and attached to the base of your spine like a tail

Infinite shits

It's always foreign currency

the infinity gauntlet is real and it's mine and it fits perfectly on my hand

Unless you're OP

You're a nigger

It only works during a sneeze

I want that too
and two copies for my friends...

Thu'um

Kek

It only works if you're asleep

Lawful good

My iq is over 160

The power to control the Earth's economy yayyyyssssss

> Super Speed
But when you use it you break your bones

Ability to shit a live otter at will

But you have to cut your foreskin if for that

You're Helen Keller disabled

Thats evil

but only when a pack of feral niggers fucks you and your loved ones in the ass.

lol

The power to cast magic missile

When you shit the Otter you will piss a Rat at Same time

Lose a finger every time you cast it

The Magic Missiles are a red rockets from old guys

I can change my sex whenever i want

In bed.

The ability to die on command.
Not other people.
Myself.

Can destroy the whole planet with my mind

You're a 1/10 no matter which sex you are

When in women form you look like dog the bounty hunter

After all fingers, do i start losing toes?
I see nothing wrong with this

Random planet every time

You have to eat a pound of your own shit before you can do it

We talking farm rat,city rat, or lab rat?

You are reincarnated ten minutes later, in the same body and bed

stop time

I don't see the downside

but every time you do it you get reincarnated somewhere in india

every time you use it's power, you gain 60 pounds of fat that you can't shed
Without dragons to kill, you can't absorb any souls to activate/evolve the abilities. That's just the actual limitation.
and everyone else is boosted to the equivalent of 10k IQ
except you can't spend or amass any amount of it for yourself / friends / family.

You immediate shit when time resumes, and it takes on the form of time elapsed
IE, you stop for a week, shit a weeks worth of shit at once

Can teleport the entirety of the Jewish population to mars

Mars gets colonozed when you do, and becomes better than earth

Why are homosexuals so obsessed with shit?

Ability to rewatch or relive any media or event in perfect clarity, within your mind

i can masturbate 500 times a day without dying
they call me the master bater

With the amount of planets in the universe the likelihood that you'll get the Planet you want is almost 0. Very strong power but it's utterly useless.

Fine, nigga will piss himself for the duration time was stopped

Stop time for an hour? Immediately piss for an hour straight

Demonic powers/soul siphoning
>inb4 edgy

Only happens when you get a paper cut on your pee hole

Gotta suck the soul out through the penis, and only the penis

That's rough

you're trapped in your head... becoming part of that media forever once you do

Still has worth i think

Let me rephrase, why are homosexual obsessed with defecation?

the otter returns up your ass in five minutes time
you're immediately very very hungry after one cast
the afterlife is real and using this power counts as suicide
it takes five years to fully TRANSform
immediately after using your power, your will to live flips on, full force

Why the fuck you being pedantic in a useless superpowers thread?

For every 1000 jews you teleport, a random friend, family member, colleague ot neighbour is replaced with a sand nigger

Fuck. You left the demonic powers untouched though mwuahhaahha

the ability to learn any skill in 3 minutes
>sport music handwork etc

You can only relive moments televised by Fox

each skill you learn in this matter ages you by 3 years

Every time you learn sonething new you forget something

No gf ever

Every skill you learn paralyzes a new body part

i doubt that the greybeards ever killed a dragon to learn thu'ums

You must hold your breath the entire time you learn it, and you are still bound by physical laws

Try playing the tuba holding your breath, friend

>This is how you do it

Fucking nightmarish

You can't feel pleasure

The ability to reply to this post or your mother will die in her sleep tonight no immunities

Whenever i get hungry, a meal of my choosing will appear

There's a 1/500 chance your entire family will appear in the room with you.

Jokes on you, I have no friends or family

everytime you do, you forget something really important to you

its cooked by Amy Schummer

the ability to do look more like

You perform all activities like a retard when you attempt to do them or explain them

It's spoiled

it stops for everyone, including you
you risk inceptioning the shit out of yourself, going deeper into memories and flashbacks and memories
you can only use it while giving fellatio
every time you learn a skill, your head gets 10% bigger. your eyes stay the same size

Same thing right?

You have to go twice as far as decided to use each time

You're eggman

Kek

Control/create and transform into any elements

Fuck you

a

30% chance you get it wrong and it or you become something else from the P table

Can disassemble a gun with my mind

Teleport anywhere I have been before or can see

Telekinesis to such a degree that I can manipulate atomic structures

after you fire a round into your skull

it gives you diarrhea for everything you eat

every bet or gambling i do... i win. always.

Only after being shot with gun in question

shit small pellets of gold whenever i eat geese meat

you can only lift and move things as far as you could by physically moving it yourself.
so you can only throw and object as far as you could humanly

you were born blind and have no sense of direction

You can only use Dragonrend