Does anyone else think that it's not his fault that he is socially awkward but society's?

Does anyone else think that it's not his fault that he is socially awkward but society's?

I don't have any problems getting into small-talk (call it flirt if you like) but then it starts getting weird pretty quick. People don't have any hobbies/interests.
When I ask what they like to do in their spare time for fun answers are always the same: meeting friends, going out with friends, meeting new people, partying.

Many people also "like to travel". I once talked to this girl:

>me: Hey, so you say you're traveling a lot? What place have you recently been to?
>Gal: You know Rome, right? It's in Italy.
>me: Beautiful old city. Many interesting places to visit. At least from what I've heard. Artworks of all types and all epoches of over 2000 years history! So, what did you like best in Rome?
>Gal: Oh my gosh, there was this one very exclussive party, you know, at this one place. Stacy's cousin got us in and, my god, people were totally, i mean TOTALLY cool there. I think I also saw George Clooney there since, you know, he lives in Italy.
>mfw

I'm fed up dealing with this shit!

Find some real people, akward faggot

You're probably looking for people at the wrong places. Go to places where classier women go. Or go online

>me: Beautiful old city. Many interesting places to visit. At least from what I've heard. Artworks of all types and all epoches of over 2000 years history! So, what did you like best in Rome?

you fucking autist

It's not about putting my little sinker into a barrel. I'm tired of this kind of "relationhips". Of course, I could have get her laid. These people are so easy to manipulate you can make them do literally everything of you just know how.
I'm fucking scared when I think that this type of behaviour is the new normal and that these people will be in charge of paying our pensions and keeping in business what the generations before created.

classier women are mostly older than me.

thanks, robot.

There are people out there who literally have no interests besides existing. I gotta side with OP here. I die a little inside when I meet these people whose only "interests" are family/friends/tv/traveling.

To be fair "tv" can imo be considered an interest if you are actually "into" movies. But most just watch whatever and don't have any real opinions or afterthoughts on what they just watched. It's just to kill time.

Same goes for traveling. Some people actually like to explore the world. But a heck of a lot just like to be at a nice hotel with at nice pool and cool drinks. Nothing wrong with that, but then it's not really an interest.

I wonder if people are ashamed of sharing their hobbies and interests, or perhaps consider them too uninteresting for others to talk about? I just don't understand how so many people can have so little going for them.

>Same goes for traveling. Some people actually like to explore the world. But a heck of a lot just like to be at a nice hotel with at nice pool and cool drinks.

I think it's even worse than that. I have the impression that people nowaday do things not because they like them but because there is a huge "you have to been there/done that at least once in your lifetime"-mentality.
People just do it, like it's fullfilling their socially dictated duty, just to tell everyone how great it was.

Every single time I hear how great things have been but if you want to know little more about it, you get answers that make you think that person barely remembers anything.

The thought of people willingly wasting their lives like this makes me depressive.

>inb4 what_do_you_think_where_we_are.webm

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

I agree. People just can't be simple. You should be able to go up to them, find out what their interests are their interests are or what their personality is like so that if it aligns with you, you can hang out. I feel like i'm being rejected in a bad way if they don't want to do this, as if I am, by default, a waste of time. I think that people aren't confident in who they are (I may dislike you but that's just one person's opinion) and are afraid that people will use who they are against them (which is the case but I don't see why we should bow down to people like that).

>Gal: You know Rome, right? It's in Italy
Regina means queen in Italian too.

Every generation has its dumbasses. Stupid people isn't a new phenomenon, especially among women.

>if you want to know little more about it, you get answers that make you think that person barely remembers anything
Sounds like Brave New World.

>I have the impression that people nowaday do things not because they like them but because there is a huge "you have to been there/done that at least once in your lifetime"-mentality.
I remember my father telling that I should go out more, party, that sort of thing.

You're actually saying something that is important, OP. I just want to say that because you won't get a good amount of replies here. You wouldn't even get it on /r9k/.

>Does anyone else think that it's not his fault that he is socially awkward but society's?

Not at fucking all. Shitty personalities that don't understand what other people like is the problem.

People like to be around other people that are fun. Girls like girls who are fun. Guys like guys who are fun. Guys like girls who are fun. Girls like guys who are fun. People enjoy being entertained. You, on the other hand, have a boring conversation with a girl about traveling because you think "if I talk to a girl about what she likes, she'll be sure to like me". Did you say anything interesting? Did you make her laugh? Did you show that YOU WERE THE CENTER OF ALL THAT IS FUN? Of course you didn't. You say shit like "Beautiful old city hehe. Wouldn't mind visiting it myself sometime!" Wow dude. Do you think that bitch never saw a documentary about Rome? Do you think she never attended a world geography class? You said NOTHING that was original or interesting. Congratulations. You played yourself.

Put yourself in her shoes. Imagine some mother fucker you don't even know coming up to you in the mall or on the street to talk about food. Yeah, fucking food. Pizza, chicken, cake. Well, everyone likes food. The average person eats it three times a day. In fact, people even regularly take pictures of it! Food is a great subject! You'll automatically become friends with this guy, right? FUCKING WRONG. And why not? Because if this guy doesn't exhibit anything FUN about him (polite conversation, conservative personality, BORING) , you look at him like he's some fucking weirdo or creep. He talks about mundane shit that everyone knows about. At best, you think to yourself "God I want this guy to go away".

You blame your uninteresting personality (of which you didn't even realize) on society, yet if someone like you came up to you to talk, you would BLOCK that dude's ass in a heartbeat.

Learn to be charismatic, witty, funny, and entertaining ya fuckin robot.

>people like fun because it's fun
very well spoken. I think this ends all controversities.

also:
>I have the impression that people nowaday do things not because they like them

You clearly don't understand what this thread was about.

...

>Learn to be charismatic, witty, funny, and entertaining ya fuckin robot.

Not OP but how do I do this, specifically spontaneous?

I'd like to think I'm pretty funny when around friends shooting the shit, but my humour is usually observational, so I have no idea how to be entertaining talking to someone I have just met and know nothing about in generic part #2893

>not being able to hold a conversation

Its almost like you're autistic

At least no trap/loli thread

>Wow dude. Do you think that bitch never saw a documentary about Rome?
As if I need to see a documentation about toilets in Rome to know they're basically the same as everything else. This is retarded, if anyone visits Rome wouldn't you expect him to be interested in things that makes Rome being Rome? Same goes for every other place.
But of course if you go to place X just to lay there at the hotel pool and in the evening visit the hotel bar, what is the point of indroducing place X in the discussion in first place since you obviously didn't move your as further than 200 meters from the hotel lobby.

>Yeah, fucking food. Pizza, chicken, cake. Well, everyone likes food
If someone shows interest in food, then I expect him to know something about food. And be able to tell me something about food. "I like this, I don't like that and this tasted better at the other MacDonald's" are neither interest nor knowledge.
It's like said: there are not many things I find completely un-interesting. It's just that people don't know shit about things they're (at least according to them) interested in. People lack of showing deeper interest in anything. That's the problem.

You should be an entertainer since other people are clearly more important to you than you are. What you're describing sounds like a one way relationship where vapid bitches laugh at the silly man amusing them, then lose interest when you lose energy (because they've given nothing in return). Tell me, are you older than 21?

R u retarded. Nobody wants to have a conversation about food.
"This tasted better at the other mcdonalds"
So what, where do u go from there. All u did was make an observstion.
People like to talk about themselves so keep the topic focused on them. And every few questions, or whenever u see fit, include something u know or something about urself

>being able to hold up a conversation for over 10 minutes speaking about literally nothing

It's more like you are the autist.

nice pasta bro.

>being able to have a conversation
>autistic
What did he mean by this

This

This thread is about your dumbass questioning the origin of your personality flaws.You postulated that perhaps it's not you that's problematic, it's society. Am I wrong?

Even assuming that your greentext about what happened in your conversation with this girl isn't 100% accurate and is just a generalization, it's still obvious that whatever you were trying to accomplish with her (become her friend/boyfriend) went to shit because you fucked up. The very fact that you would even question whose fault it is that your social interactions are awkward is telling. YOU have a misguided perspective of reality. Society didn't do shit to you.

Learn to take some damn responsibility for your actions and work on improving yourself.

ITT: Autists blaming others for their own lack of social skills

No offence bro, maybe you just have to stop dating bimbo sluts ?

You like reading I guess, I do too, and it seems you like to convey this intellectual nature, because you're proud of it, and it's an area of conversation in which you feel secure. I get it, but I think it's the wrong approach.

You're at a party, the aim is to have light hearted, fun conversation; crack some jokes, tease her a bit, fake misinterpret stuff she says to see how she handles it. You know, the usual seduction stuff.

Are you fucking retarded or jut not reading what I worte? The whole thing isn't about "How do I hold up a conversation with people who are idiots" but about "why people don't have any interest and ambition/passion to deepen their skills/knowledge on a certain topic".
I am at a point where I don't care what these interests might be. I can talk about knitting, I don't care. But this implies of course that the person actually know more about knitting than the basic shit (cosidering knitting is this person's interest/hobbie).

being able to talk about nothing for a long period of time implies you are doing one of the two following things:

>repeating the same things literally
>rephrasing the same things constantly

I think I don't have to explain why the first is a case of a mental condition.
The second means you are unable to recognize whether the other one understood what you were trying to say, and try to express yourself better rephrasing the same statement in other words. Unableness to read the body language and people's reaction, unsecureness about the validity/understandibility of your statement and compulsive repetition of the same things over and over again are clinical signs for autism.

Btw. autists are much more interesting in conversations because they at least have some actual interests.

>their own lack of social skills
Yeah, it's like when someone changes the lock then it's your fault because you have the wrong key, amirite?

Nigga how long do u think a conversation is supposed to last without being autistic.
I had a conversation last night for 30 minutes about cars, her home, her kids, her job etc. U r literally retarded if u cant think of topics to hold a conversation. The only excuse for not being able to hold a conversation, is if the other person gives 2 word answers

The lock and key analogy is retarded, but your supposed to be a master key, or a lockpick, so u can open multiple doors of conversation, rather than just one

I feel you op, i am also fed up with shit like this but i learned how to deal with such people, dont even try to talk much just look at them nod your head and make them feel like you are listening and you are interested in what they say, in the end you dont need to say much and they will feel like it was best chat in their lives. Just let them speak about their boring lives until they are satisfied and if you are looking for normal conversation well.. look for different type of people

You won't like this answer, but it truly comes down to owning what you say and not giving much of a fuck about what you do.

For instance, you think you're funny, right? Hell, doesn't everyone in this thread think they're fucking funny or can be? Who honestly here believes that their personality is boring? NO ONE. Everyone BELIEVES that they're funny, and the truth is, they're probably right. People are funny when they're comfortable and in control. So how do you let people know that you're funny? You be yourself. You stop thinking about what a girl you're talking to thinks of you. You say off the wall shit because that's part of your personality AND YOU OWN IT. She says you're rude, and you say "Yeah that's me." Women like confidence. PEOPL like confidence.

No one goes from awko taco to Casanova overnight. It takes practice. You have to learn to stop being a pussy around girls and guys by talking to lots of girls and guys. By talking to them, you learn about them, you get comfortable, and you lead. That's it.

Practice, its the only thing that can help

>your supposed to be a master key, or a lockpick, so u can open multiple doors of conversation
Why is he supposed to be anything? Again, you're missing the point. It's not: how do I converse with idiots. It's: why are idiots so idiotic. The crazy part is that you'll think that something is wrong with OP when a) he's stated that he can talk at your level and b) you can't talk at his. Starting at both those things, it's pretty obvious who the autist is.

You don't. You're better than they are.

>why are idiots so idiotic
The only reason op thinks that is because he cant converse with them. Hes putting all thr blame on them, when in reality, hes the boring one.

>he can talk at my level
>i cant talk at his
What. Obviously OP cant converse with people as well as me, because he complains about it being so hard, and also thinks any convo over 10 minutes must be repetitive, and make u autistic

ITT pseudointellectual faggots who pretend they aren't interested in women who reject them because "zomg girls are so dumb"

classic op who thinks he's charming and high charisma who's really just an autistic mongrel like the rest of us

I bet all of you have helpers

Do you see how the morons have turned the conversation from why are people so superficial to why doesn't OP not how to socialise? Just like a woman, they can't take the blame on themselves. Too empty and useless for that.

and you refuse to take any blame on yourself hypocrite. you obviously aren't as fucking interesting as you think you are. grow a pair and own up to it.

see
Even without seeing that post, there is no reason to think that OP has a hard time conversing with girls. You're just like this guy, projecting, I guess:

Okay, I'll try one last time.

1. It's not about not being able to talk to people since I can as long as there is a goal more than talking nonsense just for fun.

2. I don't use boring because it a perception subjected to one's personal point of view. I said people on average don't have any real interest or hobbies. Why isn't this a person perception? Because I let them choose the topic which they like to talk about and then they first run out of words although they would have to be better prepared since it was their choice and their topic.

I'm not an entertainer, but I have played music many times SOLO in front of large groups of people and I've done standup. I've also worked in face-to-face customer service positions for nearly ten years, so I've had my share of interactions with people I've never seen, and it's damn near formulaic at this point. I am 26.

Your point about one-way relationships and being the dancing monkey is wrong though. I would never be friends with or date anyone that gave me nothing in return. I think that's pretty obvious. I'm talking about initial interactions with MAINLY women. First impressions. However, I feel like my advice is solid for most day to day interactions.

When you make people laugh and open up to them, guess what? THEY OPEN UP TO YOU TOO. What I said is not some exhausting effort that gets nothing in return. Think about the people you like and enjoy being around. Do you really think that they're doing all the work and you're just a pedestrian bitch that watches them because they're some dancing monkey? Of fucking course not. If you know them, you've shown them your cards too, and that person appreciates that whether think of it consciously or not.

Some people here are acting like this is an incredible task to pull off and that it isn't worth it. This is natural communication.

That's when you start making fun of them. Half the time they playing along and you'll get laid. The other half of the time you can tell who doesn't have a sense of humor. Win win.

You're truly autistic aren't you? People aren't going to open up to some boring creep right off the bat buddy.

where are these places...

OP made the claim that "people have no interests" and that society is the reason that his social interactions are awkward. Unless you are a massively-entitled piece of shit that thinks you're better than everyone else because you have "deep" passions, then there's no reason you can't a belittle others and treat them like uncultured swine.

OP is on an ego trip, and on top of that, he is awkward as fuck. All the signs point to OP being the problem. Lots of people are superficial in one way or another, but there's no reason you can't find them interesting. Hell, some of my best friends have literally no hobbies other than playing video games and watching sports. OP's superiority complex is making him an asshole.

It doesn't really matter whose fault it is.

You are the only one who can fix it- and social skills are easily obtained with a little practice.