Tell me your secrets Sup Forums

tell me your secrets Sup Forums....

go ahead, you are completely anonymouse.

I'm a 30 year old kissless virgin. Never even held hands with a girl before.

the one time i got trips (or dubs for that matter) it was on a thread i started and no one responded because it was about mr. robot :(

I smell bacon.

my cars friend tried to mother me in the back of my finger

So I was thinking some more. I have never given you any credit for being actually upfront and honest about what you did. Surely there is some concession in that.
So you pick I approve and we do it with one rule. Its between 1st and 3rd dates.
Fair enough?

me too.

inb4 that fag that showers with his nephews.

cant let this one go by without checking it

going to need some context, this could be about me

I once replied to myself just to say "nice dubs" because I was having a hard week and needed to feel appreciated..

I have a genetic disorder that makes me develop a lot slower and look youthful. The short of it, I'm nearly 40 and I work as an undercover PI, a paid confidential informant. I'm a "high school student." Since my final education, I've been a junior high school student to high school student. I'm on a beauty regiment to keep my skin looking young. Yes, I move every 4 years. My big secret, I've had sex with a lot of high school students. That I never divulge in my reports.

I killed jfk

I helped a friend's dog fuck my ex gf

you really put a lot of thought into this lie didnt you?

how long did it take you?

Green text please kind sir

when i was 16 i had sexual relations with a 15 year old

25/12.

Or ma'am for that matter

That's a bad idea. A lot of the high schoolers I know are Sup Forumstards. That's how I was introduced to Sup Forums. If I greentext a story, it could very well out me.

I chose to be a faggot because it was too hard to get a grill and they were usually shitty to talk to

That's how a lot of totally ugly women become lesbians too.

That's a convenient answer

I'm affraid to go to the hairdresser

you have always been a faggot son.

also, your mom needs tampons. grab some cash from the jar and go buy her some.

So, you know they are brainscanners then?

then do what we all do and change identifying details you autist
you're capable of living a convincing lie for decades but are incapable of slightly altering a story?

Sometimes I shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain.

i got my sister pregnant when she was 16.

I don't know how it works, what I should say to ask for a haircut and affraid to show a picture of someone better looking than me

i love kissing teen girls feet

I used to think about my brother while jerking off, and while fucking my gf

is this a fucking get thread

All my creative energy goes into my fake persona. All of it. At home, I have to actually remind myself I'm not a kid. My CI fee doesn't cover shrink fees. I'm not officially a cop. I'm a glorified informant who officially works for a PI agency. I make a little money on the side as a pedo decoy.

yeah I've seen 21 jump street too mate

Greentext
Also nice trips faggot

How do you even find out that's your thing

I have greentexts of things my wife and I did and I post them on Sup Forums

>be me.
>have sex with sister.
>cum inside sister because its amazing.
>she gets pregnant.
>live in corrupted 3rd world country so you can do almost anything with enough money.
>we dont have it.
>the end.

I busted a nut on my roommates pillow and just flipped it over. It's day 2 and he hasn't said anything

yeah i've done that and even made up a story pretending to be a different person. and i had no excuse

That TV show was cancelled before I was old enough to really follow it. As for movies, I rarely watch bad comedies. From what I saw in the preveiws of the movie, they were adult looking adults who actually worked for the police. I'm gonna' goggle the plot now.

i'm trying to build a case against this guy my clients tried to kill. my clients think it's going to court, but it's going public instead; lawsuits would be too friendly. they don't know that i can't help them and that they're basically fucked because they were stupid. i'm still taking their money and haven't told them the truth.

i like the smell of my own armpits

I blew my load while a pre teen watched me on omegle

uhhh....can you give some more details. idk if this is about me or that other user or someone else.

How to make green text? 0_0

that's a secret user

Grrrr oki

start your post with #greentext

I feel like these threads are bait

I think im in love with my side bitch :/

not right now its not.

Andy milonakis?

#greentext
Works?

Didn't work

...

I'm straight on the streetz but I do like to post revealing pictures on forums and have guys tell me they wanna fuck me. Been doing on and off for about a year and honestly it really gets me off just like sexting a girl, except it's like I'm the girl if you can believe that shit.

it always is and it's always cops, feds, cia, nsa or pis trying to gain intel on silly anons.

My cousin gets jealous when I have a girlfriend come over.

Oh hey there spanish user. I know you won't tell, but after seeing you post enough, i feel like you either live in or somewhere near colombia.

I fucked my 15yo cousin.

Why not I think she is hot.

I almost banged my friends 13 year old sister.

Can you fuck off with these tumblr tier faggot threads already?

if this is who i think it is then i accept

>Oh hey there spanish user.

hi user.

> after seeing you post enough, i feel like you either live in or somewhere near colombia.

well, like you said... i wont tell. but yes hello.

I fuck my GF in the ass, but I have to wear condoms cuz my GF don't like that it stays inside.

Usually, I unwear it quickly and eventually cum deeply in my GF's ass.

Then I say "Oh my god it broke :(" and everything is fine.

Done that numerous times.
Feels bad

I'm a 27yo M. Married. Nice Apartment. Two nice cars. Military Veteran. Have a degree. Career Firefighter/EMT. In good shape. Gotta act all tough and "normal" when at work.

I've always been really into anime and I'm quite the furry. I geek out on video games and cartoons all day at home. I just bought a fursuit.

Wife and I also have a close friend that is female and Bi. So, we get to have threesomes often.

Meanwhile, I go to work and listen to these rednecks shit talk the few gays on my department or that guy they ran out because he was too "feminine". Fuck, if they had any idea about me.

we all did. you arent special.

you're a special kind of retard if you actually did.
unless you live in southeast where that is the norm, I guess.

a friend of mine once threw a party with his roommate which was basically in the room of one of the females there. me and a male friend found some new toothbrushes and licked them.

damn, my life is boring...

i meant to say we all fucked your cousin, retard.

I didn't, but I sure as hell wish I could have.

Hmm Sounds good and a other girl have to licking the cum out off her ass

and I meant to say you fucking his cousin is retarded.

Not into threesome to be honest.

And as I said, I really feel bad about that.
But I stopped now.

Have another secret, but a friend is on Sup Forums.

1) My first time was at 15, with a chubby 23 year old broad at my parents house. After she kept my dick hard all day it refused to do its task when we got to it, still managed to jizz on her saggy tits tho.

2) Few years later I did a Travel & Work adventure with my girlfriend. In a heated argument she actually bit me in the arm, in a shock and to release my anger I knocked her the fuck out. We agreed to keep this incident a secret and broke up when we got back home.

3) Me and a bro of mine were really close, we were like brothers back then. One Christmas, I gifted him a bunch of Nintendo stuff (The FIRST Pokemon movie, Pokemon Yellow & Crystal) and my unused 3DS XL. His girlfriend spent the money he saved up for me for a new Wii U. Needless to say, I didn't get anything. So I called their landlord and reported them for smoking pot, for which they got kicked out later on.

when I was 15 I got my girlfriend pregnant but she had a miscarriage

when i was 9 my boyfriend got me pregnant and i had a miscarriage.

I come in here and bullshit a new story all the time, so if they're collecting any data it's going to be completely worthless.

Trips means its true

:-/

My sister is a sleepwalker and regularly comes in my room at night to suck on my dick. At first I didn't like it and had a talk with my dad. He said what ever I do don't wake her up and that I should lock my door at night. I've seen her sucking my dad off while my mom kept saying damn it I forgot to lock the bedroom door. So I never keep my door locked anymore.

LOL gtfo.

you have to make the lies believable.... dumbass.

Thought you were me for a second, same thing almost happened.

Southern Habits

I thought Viewtiful Joe was called Beautiful Joe

were you 23 too?

the internet mostly.
and yonce you do it theres no going back

It was true she never rememberd a thing

Not quite, I was 17 she was 16. That's quite an age disparity for you though.

no soy americano.

Did anyone she her blowing you

Yes my mom, dad, and best friend did

go to bed son. stop telling lies on the internet.

When I was 16 I got drunk with my 3rd cousin. We made out and I fucked her brains out on multiple occasions

As weird as it was, it was the best fuck of my life, she screws like an animal
>pic related

>nice

Nice I would have dun her to