ITT we work at a office

ITT we work at a office

Why are we working in an office?

Fuck off nigger

no one ever knows whats going on around here. i fucking quit.

Fuck Cathy, take a shower!

Is that airplane coming towards us?

Boy I can't wait for the 10th anniversary of this building since it was built on the 11th of September 1991.

Yeah, it's the boss

Yeah right. I hope someone bombs this place down.

Okay if that's you want.
>lights you on fire

It's probably gonna be that muslim Habib.

"an" u stoopid cunt

"Fuck an airplane just crashed into the building!!!!!."

My key barely works igger

hey guys meet me at the water cooler in 15 minutes to talk about projectors

FUCKING KEK

Hey man, crash on your couch tonight? I have pizza

I don't have a couch, this job pays me 25 cents an hour.

Fucking kek!!!!!!

Andy the autist here. Look what I made. I'm funny right?!

...guys?

Oh man even when the building is starting to collapse.your still funny

Wow. September 10. Can't wait for my 30th birthday tomorrow. Can't believe how far I've come since 1971.

Hahaha, oh that Andy

Who else put andy

My wife keeps fucking niggers and I'm sick and tired of it!

heheh, i'm gonna hack into the company's files and steal all the money and expose the company secrets

Chad, your boss, here. How could you disrespect a woman like that? Andy, I thought you were better than this! I'll have to see you in my office in 10 minutes to discuss what you've done and why I should let you keep your job.

Guys, the janitors keep raping male employees, there faggots

To:
Subject: Theres leftover cake in the lunchroom from Mebdullahs baby shower, enjoy!

NO!!! NOT MY NUDES!!! You can keep the $20.

She put here pubes in that cake, fuck no

I would like to politely object to this. I believe that African Americans with a skin tone akin to that of sand should not be allowed within this office because of the risk it poses to the safety of everyone.

Thank you,
Kaden K. Krawford

TO: All Personnel
FROM: HR
RE.: Staff Reductions

In the business climate that our company operates in, it becomes necessary every so often to review our staffing needs. Such a review has recently been conducted and changes are planned as a result of the findings.

During Q3, our stock value fell by .05 of a point. While this doesn't seem like much, it reduces the CEO's annual performance bonus from $2.2M to $1.99M, which means he will have to forgo his fifth Aston Martin, as well as postponing the new roof on the house he has in North Hampton. This, of course, is unacceptable.

Our company is in the process of implementing a workforce reduction of forty percent, all of it below the executive level, of course. After all, it's your 401K matching that's steering the company into the tar pits, not executive compensation and bonuses.

Please accept our sincere thanks for your service, should you be one of the selected. And, if you're not, please accept our thanks in advance for taking on the work of four people without benefit of a raise on an increase in vacation or compensatory time.

--The Management

Fuck dat shit nigga I'm out

fuck you bitch, I hope a plane crashes into your office

...

Pretty much the reality whenever there's a news story about mass layoffs or "restructuring".

Hey friends, I'm new here, just moved in from good 'ol San Fran, as we like to call it, I'm so glad to be here. First I'd like to let you all know that I'm a Jewish transexual African American atheist Homosexual other-kin who prefers to be referred to by the pronoun zhe or zher, and also a vegan. I'm so glad to meet you and I hope we can work together to achieve so many fabulous things!

Pound sand, Pixie. You're gettin' a layoff notice.

But what did I do wrong? This is verbal harassment and by overpowering me in this conversation, I've classified this a rape, you're going to be fired so hard buddy, and then I'll sue you for my PTSD I now have once the boss finds out about this!

I'm the boss, fuck off fairy fantasy faggot

Oh yeah, well I'm gonna report it to your boss! Ohhh snaaap! Whatchu think about from apples!!??!! Now hold on while I head to the bathroom, DONT CHECK MY DRAWER, I'm super serious!!!

Amy is taking selfies on the bathroom mirror again

I'm my own boss queer, clean out your desk

Ohhh You're soooo gonna regret this!! I'll be back you freaking meanie!!

NIGGERS!!!

Sure you will
I'll just file restraining order for the premises fag

Well do something about it pansy. Sometimes you gotta smack a bitch when a bitch needs smacking.

Guess who's back?

I can have you arrested for bringing weapons onto the premises, have fun getting your asshole resized to the size of a shower drain in prison faggot

Does anyone else thing the kid in the mailroom is autistic? I've been getting envelopes with what looks like the corners have been chewed off and their covered with drops of this gluey substance.

no the mail just makes people crazy

Hahaha, no silly! This is for you!!
>Gun is pointed towards you, you have one chance to do something that will redeem you, to spare your life or die in bigotry

That's what she said

Why the fuck does Joanne always bring in an egg salad sandwich then throws it in the microwave until it smells like a hookers slam hole in the entire break room. I'm tired of this shit. I'm going to say something to her one of these days. I swear to god.

there's a faggot in the mail room you can suck off
have fun

TO: All Personnel
FROM: Finance
RE: Intraoffice Politics

Recently, our office hosted several distinguished visitors from our Hong Kong offices, who were anxious about our ability to keep our supply lines and just-in-time delivery model fully operational in light of our forty percent reduction in personnel.

While we were able to offer them some reassurances regarding the supply chain, it was quite distressing to have our guests exposed to what has become an ongoing gender war within the office. Our friends from Hong King, with their Chinese demeanor and appreciation of order and decorum, were none too pleased to be greeted by a prancing queen who tapes his dick to his leg and goes by "Zhe" while he and others shouted threats of gunplay.

This faggotry will cease and desist immediately. We are expecting some executives from our Mumbai branch in a couple of weeks, and the company's expectation is that everyone will kindly refrain from bringing up the fact that they are ambiguous about what set of genitals they actually have.

Your co-operation is appreciated.

--The Management

What the fuck did you just say bout my girl you scrawny little bitch? You wanna throw down? Let's go shrimp, meet me in the parking lot after five, you're gonna get you're fucking teeth smashed in punk, you don't even know it.

I'm going to ask what genitals they have anyway. I refuse to let some damn tranny in MY bathroom. I demand we enforce a dick check at every bathroom door.

Enjoy your trip to the HR department. Emails have been sent shit head

That's it fuck you guys, I'm out of here, this is just a fucking toy gun that I got from the Walmart, because I wanted you guys to respect me, but clearly your toxic masculinity effected your judgement. I'm writing this on my Tumblr, have fun getting a wave of my followers to fuck you. Peace bitches

You think they'll give a shit? This is like the 4th time I've been reported and they won't do shit because of what happened to Mike when he took my ham sandwich. Now he can't breathe without a tube down his throat, you better show up bitch, or else you'll be my bitch for the rest of the year.

Good riddance

Hey boss, sorry I'm late, traffic jam took 40 minutes to clear, I was walking to elevators and I saw a tranny spray painting the side of the building what appeared to be a penis spraying semen onto the company logo, any idea what that's about?

Yeah, it's a special snowflake that's pissed because we don't accept special snowflakes too work here.

He was allergic to brown mustard in your sandwich and had a reaction. Quit acting like a tough guy.

Thanks, stay safe!!

Pssshh, yeah that's what they told you. You're just scared is what. I've been hitting the gym for the past week, and I'm buff as fuck, you'd never last against me. I dare you to take my sandwich.