Sup Forums I need to, hypothetically, get rid of a body. Wat do?

>Sup Forums I need to, hypothetically, get rid of a body. Wat do?

Currently thinking concentrated peroxide and sulfuric acid mixed and heated. What's your best advice?

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eat it

Okay, one vote for eat it. Do I cube that shit up and slow cook it or get a chainsaw and try to turn this fuckup into steaks?

not real

call the police, they'll come pick it up no questions asked.

pics to prove.

Yeah, but include a time stamp

I've seen pics before of real dismemberment. Heck, I once saw my grandfather's arm torn off because he got caught on a conveyor belt. that shit's fake

make soup

youtube.com/watch?v=2xUynRdzzsM

The easiest way is to literally burn it up into ashes then eat em like some my strange addiction person

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Yes, turns out OP used hypothetically correctly. Sorry to disappoint.

Let's call this one vote for "eat it" and one vote for "ditch the body and run away"

start a tinder account for the body, and have the match of your choice deal with it

This.

Well fuck, like a gun buyback? Do you have to be white to do this or can anyone participate?

Don't forget to remove teeth and air and use acid or bleach on the body.

no, but the body cant be white

jet fuel because it even melts steel beams, just not passports

if the body is a trap or twink, use grindr

> Now we're fuckin' /ck/ing

Okay, how about a bone broth from:
Human bone
Mirepoix

Then soup as:
1 part human remains
2 large onions, split for flavor
1/2 part tomatoes
1/2 part bell pepper
Basil
Salt and pepper to taste

Kind-of an Italian pepperonata perpetration? It's not quite soupy enough, but it would go well as dip I think

The image you retard

>Basil
You fucking monster.

this thread is stupid Sup Forums is fucking tupid if you killed someone why the fuck are you looking for help from fucking cave dwelling virgins? you should fucking blow your brains out and let someone find both bodies no one cares for your bullshit and your not gonna post a picture because its fake and you want attention. my god am I sick of this shit, (hence why im agitated)

Oh hot damn, I forgot about that. Could I smoke the ashes Tupac style instead? I'm going to need to do something with the bones after I make the soup we're working on.

after you make the soup, invite friends and family to help you eat it

This might sound retarded but it is actually genius if you think of the benefits.

k

I'd personally just let it cool,cut it up and dump it into a river.Water is good because it fucks up evidence.

Alright, alright. We're charring it up pretty bad with the whole soup and bone broth decision so I think we can pass it off.

feed it to some pigs

Just eat it OP. That way you can gain its power.

seriously?
pigs will eat everything

cut into pinky sized missiles, apply to rectum suppository style over time. shoot for three butt pills an hour for bout 14 weeks

someone just watched hannibal

Bones are gonna be a problem though.

hypothetically? rent a freezer. freeze the body until it's vitrified. then carve off pieces of about one cubic inch and, one at a time, leave them in the parking lot behind mcdonalds, where the seagulls will take care of them.

this can take some time. be patient.

never seen it, I grew on a farm. Pigs will eat anything damn thing.

God dammit, I fucked up. Basil's already in. Is there something we can add to fix it?

Fuck. I thought I hit my low point with my front fender and that pedestrian, but I didn't suspect I could pooch it as badly as blindly putting basil in.

It takes a lot of acid to dissolve a whole body so I think it will be quite expensive. You can use the standard dig deep and let nature take care, but that is usually hard if you live in a major city. Try pretending going to camping and hide the body in a tightly sealed bag and hide below bags with actual camping stuff. Also remember to dig really deep when hiding bodies, like 10-15 meters. Dogs can smell above 10m. Also never open the bag until the hole is digged. Remember to also discart the bag in a place distant from home and the site, like 20km

EVERYTHING

send the brains to Reza Aslan

>sulfirid acid
easy.

Invited. They're coming over in two hours. I think that's enough time to clean up and hide the apparently fake body I posted up above. We will get through the body so much faster with more mouths! This is the sort of advice I needed!

Also, pigs can't get their mouths around the skull or break the femurs. Crack both beforehand

why do people imagine the human body is made entirely of meat that resembles steak?

Penis soup.
testicle soup.
asshole soup.
tooth soup.
contents of the bowels soup - that'll be dark brown, and it ain't gravy, brah.

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see