Sup Forums just got out of a long relationship so naturally i turned to tinder for some sweet poon

Sup Forums just got out of a long relationship so naturally i turned to tinder for some sweet poon
most chicks like cheesy pick up lines
itt post cheesy pick up lines and success stories from tinder

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you look like-a you like-a long penis
want number one fuckee?

wat

I have a Google Doc drive of what I believe is about 6 or 7 pages of pick up lines. Dubs determines if I dump

Fuck I got trips. Lemme get out of my cozy bed and I'll post in sets of 5 - 10

"you temind me of my twin. we can be twinders. i puty m penis in you. lets start!"

Can I didgeridoo you? (if australian)

"I'm a 23 yo virgin!"

Kekek

So, I have about a page or two of Generic ones. Lemme get through these

Do you eat a lucky charms? Because you are magically delicious.

We're gonna need to call the fire department, You're just to hot!

Are you Copper and Tellurium? Because you are CuTe!

So last night I was reading the book of numbers. Then I realized I don't have yours.

Do you have a name? Or can I just call you mine‏

If anyone would like to recommend some good music to listen to while I dump, that would be good payment. Some Foolish Jpopish Rap would be nice. Like Hentai Dude, or Shiki

Let me tie your shoes. Cause I don't want you falling for anyone else‏

Are you running a fever? Cause you are hot‏

You can evolve my Ekans‏

Your ass is so big, it's the 7th planet in the solar system‏

Girl, are you Italian, because I'd like to pizza that ass‏

2 gud 4 me

Moe Shop is also pretty good... So any good Future Funk recommendations I would also take.

Sex is a killer... Wanna die Happy?

I don't fancy wines. I prefer Moans‏

Nice legs. Let's eat out‏

So, I'm not great at algebra but I'm pretty sure U+I=69‏

Lets play Titanic. You'll be the ocean and I'll go down on ya‏

dont listen to that music so no recomendations

So, a few years back I played Muggle Quidditch and to pay for World Cup had to pretend to love a person for a day. Next few posts will be Harry Potter Related

If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss.

I know we're not in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.

My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.

I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I think I'm about to get lucky.

Your smile is like Expelliarmus. Simple but disarming.

I should also state I have used some of these. Now I'm not much of a relationship man because I've got some extreme Mother Issues, but if done right, these will at least get you a date.

Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?

Are you a pikachu? Because you are shockingly beautiful.

Are you a Dementor? Because you took my breath away.

Did you survive Avada Kedavra? ‘Cause you’re drop dead gorgeous.

Did you say “Wingardium Leviosa”? Cause you’ve got me rising, baby.

If I were a Seeker and you were a Snitch, would you let me catch you?

Youwant to troll around in my dungeon baby?

Are you a golden snitch? Because I’ve been seeking for something like you my whole life.

I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.

Did you just use the stupify charm or are you a natural stunner?

Do me, I'm Harry Fucking Potter.

>Your smile is simple
>Simple
Insert reaction image of a retarded face that i don't have on phone

This one always worked for me.
>my dick is so big it smashed the Twin Towers

Hi, I'm an fine art appraiser and your ass is priceless!

Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!

You and these Valentine's Day chocolates are going straight to my thighs.

Do you run a farm? Because you sure know how to raise cock.

Baby,I put the std in stud, all I need is u.

My dick is so big, if you laid it on the keyboard, it would go all the way from A to Z.

You know what would look good on you? Me.

Man, only a super bitch would pick up on that. She would be way to focused on the fact she "Disarmed" you

Added to my Collection. Thanks Fam

are you a coal miner?

cuz that ass is dynamite

I one day hope to have one of those stupid corny fun books just full of all these stupid things I've picked up. I've been collecting for... 5 years.

Are you a lava lamp? You're hot and fun to look at

After I'm done with you there will only be 7 planets left because I'm going to destroy Uranus

My name isn't Dwayne Johnson, but they still call me The Rock

I may not be a genie, but I can make all your wishes come true!

Are you a Beaver? Cause DAMN

I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.

I feel like this can be adjusted to be better but added as I dont think I have it

I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, Give me yours and watch what I can do with it.

On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 9. I'm the 1 you need.

I noticed that you’re having a very difficult time confessing your love to me.

I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.

I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.

Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?

You be the wind, I’ll be the sails, and you can blow me all night long.

I’m the flower, you’re the bee. Why don’t you suck the sweet pollen right out of me?

i'm in between success stories right now; having a big failure streak

Match 1
>"i'm from out of town and have to fly back in a few days, want to show me around user?"
>hell yeah! meet up at bar for drinks
>"i think i drank too much without eating today, my stomach hurts"
>ok
>talk a little bit longer
>"it's not getting better, i'm gonna go"
>fuck

Match 2
>meet for dinner, things seem to be going well
>says she already has plans for the night, so we go our separate ways
>text her to meet up the next day
>0 replies

Match 3
>meet for drinks
>she doesn't want to go back to my place but she still seems interested to meet again
>two days later
>"hey user, my ex and I are getting back together!"
>ex?

Match 4
>do video chat, turns out she's hot to trot and into some of the things i'm into, and wants to meet with me two days later
>next day: "sorry user, i have an illness in the family and i can't see you for a while...but i'll definitely get back to you!"
>ok

not doing anything differently than in the past...

Do you have a phone in your back pocket? Cause that ass keeps callin' me.

Baby I’m no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight

I don’t know if you’re beautiful or not, I haven’t gotten past your eyes yet.

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable. Please take them off.

If you were a transformer, you'd be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine.

My doctor said that I’m deficient in vitamin U.

is your booty a planet?
cuz uranus is HUGE

I think I'm about halfway done now. We're going to switch modes soon into needing some set up

I was blinded by your beauty so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

Do you have a sunburn or are you always this hot?

Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

You look so familiar… didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry.

You see that door over there? Let’s go out.

Oh yea, I have some Ice Cream One's because there was this cute girl at an Ice Cream Shop I would go to. Slowly gave these to her then she moved. Was sad that day but such is life.

You must be 9/11, because I could NEVER forget you

I'm no farmer but i know how to plow from dawn till dusk

One scoop of me, plus one scoop of you, equals a big bowl of cute.

You put the 'hot' in hot fudge sundae

If you're Rocky Road, then I would love to pave you

When it comes to building our own sundae, I say we hold the cherry…and each other."

I scream, you scream, we both scream 'cuz we were meant to be together."

So, The last one in this list was the Pick up line that got me started in Collecting.

let's do a swirl, you can be whatever flavor you want but i'm picking vanilla‏

Is your last name Gillete cause your the best a man can get.

they say dogs are a man's best friend and that diamonds are a girl's, but you? you're mine‏

"How can you work at this place? you are so hot the ice cream melts"

dang girl are you my appendix because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out‏

>because I'd like to pizza that ass
I believe you're thinking "I'd like a pizza that ass"

Are you and anti-Gravity machine? Because whenever I'm around you, I feel like I'm floating‏

On a scale of one to cute, you're a ten

Do you like water? *they should say yes*‏ Well, At least I know you like 75% of me‏

hey i bet my tongue is stronger than yours‏, Wanna find out?

Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south‏

I was looking at a light bulb today and it made me think of you and how you light up my world.

That does make a lot more sense. I'll fix that. Thanks user

I also have a lot of these because the female friends I had would try to find some or come up with them to be used back at me. Better Days.

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

Do you have any raisins? How about a date?

Excuse me if I go straight this way will I be able to reach your heart?

Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name

You can fall off a building, you can fall out a tree, but baby, the best way to fall is in love with me.

If beauty were time, you'd be eternity

Alright, So these first two are pretty much the same thing. Lay off!

On a scale of 1-10, you're a 9 and I'm the 1 you need.

On a scale of 1-10, i'm a 9 and you're the 1 I need.

Are you an interior decorator? 'Cause when I saw you, the room became beautiful.

I have a knife and a cock. One of them is going in you.

oh i see you have a tumblr"
"how about we tumble into bed together then?"

I've got three beds. How bout we find out which one is just right

these are so cliche. use some intimidation.
"if you werent a total babe, you'd be my zombie meat shield."

>Are you Copper and Tellurium? Because you are CuTe!
are you fucking serious

Is your dad a thief? Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes‏

Are you Red riding hood? Because I'm a wolf looking you gobble you up.

Are you an archaeologist? Because I have a large bone for you to examine

are you google? Cuz you got what im searchin for.

are you an American? Because I hope you're free tonight!

I'm not photographer but I can picture us togther

You must be the black key on the piano because you're looking pretty sharp

Lol, What the Fuck? I love it. I have a Necrophila related one somewhere in here.

I'm not good at Chem, but this seems to work out. Granted, I never Fact checked that.

These Capcha's are fucking annoying. Better than that timer that used to plague us.

The word of the Day is Legs. Now lets go back to my place and spread the word

Do you have 11 protons? Because you are sodium fine

Are you a 90 degree angle? Because you are looking right

Are you a tower because Eiffel for you

Nice pants baby, Whats the drop rate?

Are you a campfire? Cause you're hot and I want s'more

So I really like the first one here. I dont know why. It's Stupid and hardly makes sense but whatever.

There is no “I” in team, but there are two “I”s in world domintion and these eyes are looking at you

You have to be less than 90 degrees because you are acute

Are you toilet paper? Because I'd let you touch my butt

Are you from Africa? Cause I wanna know Kenya suck this dick

Baby, are you a Bidet? Because I'd let you wash my genitals

You must be a piece of art, because I want to nail you up against a wall

These next few posts are going to be Cringy as fuck. I really shouldnt post them but I've already filled this place with shit.

you must be Ahri because you charmed me over here.

Hey baby is your name Taric because you stunned me from a mile away

I'm gonna need you to solve for X, and X= Your number

Why don’t we go back to my place and find my Dragonballs?

Do you like yoga? If you do, then Yoganna LOVE me!

Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I'm feeling a connection‏

Weak game all around. Just broke up, hopped on tinder. Have a date set tomorrow with former college lacrosse player. She performed a stunt in a restaurant today and sent me a vid because I promised to go down on her with no reciprocation if she did it. Be funny. Don't be desperate. Say what you want without being a perv.

Ok, only one more post after this and I believe that will be all of them.

Knick-knack, Paddy-wack, you just gave this dog a bone.

You're like an internet hotspot. I'd like to connect with you

Roses Are red‏
Foxes are clever
I like your butt
Let me touch it forever

Happiness tends to start with H. Why does mine start with you?

If I had a penny for everytime you were on my mind, I would have one penny. Because you never left.

You just made being an Artist harder, because I'll never create something as beautiful as you

Dubs of Truth

So far I've fucked 12 out 14 girls I met on tinder

First bitch
> meet, she didn't look at all like in the pics, (fuck you filters and photos taken from angles)
>Oh well, tickets for the movie were already payed
>fast foward 20 min into the movie, I was dead asleep. Woke up by the end and she was still there, like, you slept all the movie.
>Yeah, best sleep I've ever had.
>Said bye and delete her

Second bitch
I don't know why I didn't do anything with her. Seriously, bitch was already there and I said well it's freezing so yeah, talk you later. Big big regret

The others were all cute and nice, dated a few 3-5 months, simultaneously, which I tell is a bitch having to lunch/dinner twice a day.
Some I only fucked them once or twice, there was this chick, a kindergarten teacher, best pussy I ever tasted. I think I've licked her twat more than I kissed her the entire time we went out.

Pic related, kindergarten teacher

>knife or cock

FUCKING KEK

give me more stories

No wonder the sky is so grey, all the Blue is in your eyes ( I have REALLY blue eyes and this was given to me by an Ex. I'm sure it can work well on others.)

Are you a Camera? Because I have to smile whenever I see you

Can you stop? Stop being so Damn Pretty.

Are you a Bulls eye, because you're perfect

"I can't find my phone, could you please call it for me?"
>She calls phone
>Pull phone out of your pocket
>Thanks

>I have a knife and a cock. One of them is going in you.

OH MY SIDES

Oh, I dont think I added what is my favorite and is actually my go to. I use this on solo ladies that dont look like they are having fun. Works 99% of the time

Hey you dropped something
>Stoop down and make it look like picking something up
It was your smile
>place NOT GROSS FINGERS near face and spread into a smile

>payment
you rolled the trips faggot, not us
but here
youtube.com/watch?v=pklr0UD9eSo

lol since its not gonna happen if they utter those words say "oh i knew you were bullshitting the whole time" callem out on it

>Near face

Near Her face
And with that Those are all the lines that I can readily post here. I have quite a few more that need serious set ups. Mostly because they use props; since I'm an enormous Faggot who does Card tricks, I'm not going to explain the trick or where to find said trick, along with the set up to retrieve number.

Thanks Man. This is great

>be me not knowing how to greentext cause im a lurker
>tinder profile says open with a bad joke, she works in health and shit
>tell her im deficient in vitamin U
>she doesn't get it
>its not a real vitamin
>she meets me at a coffee shop
>take her virginity and we're still dating to this day

grats user

I've only had one success. Most of my pickups were at the bar.

>match with chick who moved to Canada from England
>Meet up at bar
>shes a solid 6/10 but has huge tits so you know
>just chatting and laughing about shit
>get into staring contest
>I break
>Some nigger goes "AYO WHAT SHE WIN?"
>So I start kissing her
>"WOOO AOOOH SHEET HIT THAT"
>So we leave after being at the bar for an hour
>Finger her in the cab
>get home
>"Oh hey this is blah blah blah. See you later roomates"
>Start smashing her while everyones in the next room.
>Nut on her face
>Filmed me pounding it
>Hit it 4 tims
>Send her ass home and never talk to her agian

Shit was cassh

My name is Dean and I've used this before because I thought it was hilarious:

"Sarah? I'm gonna call you Maybelline because..... maybe you're made for Dean."

She never responded but idgaf cause I've had sex with like 50% of my Tinder dates.

Link, or GTFO