Ask a bored medicated schizophrenic anything

ask a bored medicated schizophrenic anything

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Hotdogs or Hamburgers?

Hamburgers, Hotdogs is garbage meat.

This was a fun thread. I'm going back to fapping now.

Did you know I'm watching you right now?

Do you happen to be an inter-dimensional purely mathematical thought-form manipulating causality behind time and space?

dont take your meds and comeback tomorrow

GT O TAG H GF HI GNV NH G HI F BU H TV U

not op, but weird, that's me

But then I'll get my voices again and those forbid me to come to this place, they say it's cancer, and I usually listen to good advice.

Think I may be in the early stages of schizophrenia. My delusions are getting out of control, and I'm making them worse by smoking insane amounts of weed. How much worse does the disease get as it progresses? Are the meds enough to keep you stable?

Little bitch

show us all your drugs

It's just that when I get psychotic I perceive my voices as basically God, although I'm usually not religious, and if God tells you good advice which agrees with your reasoning you tend to listen.

OP, I'm bored..
..and I'm also schizophrenic!
How many years?

What happens when you don't take your medication?

Oh you wanna cry about it?

do you happen to make youtube videos OP

Don't smoke weed then.

As long as I take a high dose of my meds and don't smoke weed or do other hallucinogenic drugs I'm stable.

The disease gets very much worse as it progresses, to the point where I'm batshit insane and loose all control over my actions, and have to be locked up in a isolation cell inside a locked up ward for weeks, and then for months in the locked up ward.

Also I get catatonic when untreated at the end of a months long episode, where I cease to function totally, and can't even move a finger anymore, can't drink and eat and sleep anymore, and would just die in this state if nobody would find me in this state and admit me to the hospital, so yeah.. better get this shit treated asap if you really suffer from it, in my experience.

Don't have any anymore, those fuck me up way too much nowadays.

8 years

Nah, to the contrary, being psychotic is kinda awesome in it's own way. It's dangerous and incredibly exhausting, but it feels like becoming the messiah, like becoming a mythical superhero, the chosen one. It's an incredible spiritual journey through heaven and hell and I'm kinda glad I've experienced it, although I don't want to experience it again.

Shit man, the catatonia scares the hell outta me. I have been hospitalized many times for suicidal thoughts, mostly based around uncontrollable feelings that people are after me or conspiring against me.

>don't smoke weed then
You must be high

7 here. Never been the same, but I've managed to get off the meds.
The trick is to let go of what you can't control. But, everyone's different.
All I know is, medication makes it nearly impossible to function.

Why not if its so great

I'm psychotic too, I once thought I was the chosen one, the son of god, or maybe a mixture of all that. I also believed that my will would influence on the universe directly, like I could change weather instantly.

Favorite videogame?

I tried getting of my meds 2 years ago.. got psychotic again and way worse than the first time. Sadly it's not an option for me. But I can function again with meds, but it took years to get used for it. Now I even can function to the degree where I can work again and have a healthy social life, so I'm pretty happy with life again, despite the meds I have to take.

try to fart while exhaling

Oh, I also met a schizophrenic girl, she had a few voices that told her to do bad stuff, and that always made her feel shitty. question: Can you speak to the voices and do they answer back?

It's too exhausting and it feels like something not meant to be experienced by a mortal. It's too overwhelming and even life threatening. It's a great burden to my loved ones and everyone around me. I make trouble for my family, my friends, strangers, and the police. I wouldn't say I'm a danger to others but certainly a burden. It has it's very high points but also it's very low, as you dance with the gods you ring with the devils, and the latter part isn't that much fun. It's just too much. You could maybe imagine it as a months long acid and shrooms trip with not end in sight. Once or twice is just enough.

What do you like to do for fun? Make any art? If not you should

atm zelda botw
all time favorite probably Baldurs gate 2

same here.

this will blow out my anus or something, right?

yes

no its just difficult

I used to play sax, and tried to get into making electronic music, also bought an ewi (electronic wind instrument) and make some music sometimes using ableton, but it kinda sounds awful.. it's lots of fun but I wouldn't necessarily call it art.

No, I thought about it once, but then again there are enough schizos on youtube that have all the topics covered already. I wouldn't know what to add to the conversation.

Schizophrenic here been that way since I was 12 (I'm 20) had only minor episodes at the time by this time last year I was in a constant episode as I had never been treated for it until I went off the rails and tried to go dark and cut connections from my family while living in a homeless shelter in another city. I was eventually taken to a hospital by police and I've been medicated ever since.

You shouldn't think how your disability effects others if they can't experience it themselves. No point in wanting to fit into a society that has no sympathy for and often ridicules and demonizes people like you.

I know the feeling. I just slowly got used the shit in my head. Medication never worked for me.

i believe god is just a reference to one who is whole girl or dude

First I get thought voices that I perceive as God telling me that I'm the chosen one here on earth to save all of you. Then I go on my mission to make the impossible possible in very abstract ways.. I think I have superpowers and try to get them to work.. I go on wild adventures, lots of strange coincidences happen, I can't write it all of what happened down in just a few sentences, but for example:
I got the keys to a mansion this by sacrificing my old keys to my flat once and spent the night in this great freshly abandoned villa once, just to be arrested by police the next morning. They had to let me go though cause I didn't break in and they couldn't explain how I got the keys.
I perform crazy rituals my voices tell me to do, an aspect is trying to translate their divine symblic language into ours, everything speaks to me or off me, everything starts to have a direct reference to me or my mission, songs on the radio, text in advertising or in books, or graffities on the walls, stones, trees, clouds, everything is placed there for me, exactly there at this moment, to be experienced by me, to guide me on my mission.. or so I perceive it in this state of mind.
This world seems unreal, like a computer game, everyone in it but me seems more like a bot, or like a shadow of a real person, like this is world is just a client in a mmorpg we are all playing, and I just opened the developer console trying to unlock god mode.

Keep at it user, art is a great therapeutic release and reflects the inner psyche. I think schizophrenic people are fascinating, and in primitive cultures where there wasn't psychology and stigmas, they were seen as like important spiritual people or some bullshit like thaT

what's the worst shit you do so far?

Yeah I know, love TerrenceMcKennas and others talks on this topic. In ancient times people like me were shamans, and the leaders of the tribe. Nowadays not so much.

I save this! This is real pure gold!

was it hard masterbating with no meds

Sleep in a abandoned mansion is what got me into trouble with police. From a cringe worthy perspecitve, once a chick from highschool messaged me on fb asking me if I ever was in love, and I wrote back an over 60 page essay on the topic, full of psychotic brabble, from a personal standpoint that was way worse.

But I've never been violent or a danger to others.

youtube.com/watch?v=FVh7jBuxUiQ

you fucked up...

this picture is what i hope the new matrix reboot looks like.. the interrogation scene, where instead of sowing his mouth shut, they do something like that.

The voices are real

To the contrary, I imagined that I could create my own heaven, like a realm where I could teleport to, and I also tried to get there on multiple occasions using some kind of three staged lock, where I had my own sex bots to fully live out even my darkest sexual fantasies to the fullest. I never masturbated more furiously.

What were the earliest and very first symptoms? What did you do when you started to notice?

I had an ex who had schizophrenia. Every now and again she would go off on me for the smallest things and then tell me that it wasn't her talking. Is that really what schizphrenia really like? She was unmedicated because her family was poor.

>But I've never been violent or a danger to others.
you think 2 much about urself... you have no sense for other people, you cant reflekt yourself...
godspeed m8

When I was young I wanted to become a psychiatrist. I even made it into medschool. But then psychosis struck, now I'm a psychiatric patient instead. Fuck.

Hard to tell, the onset was really sudden, I just got psychotic one evening really fast. It wasn't a slow build up but it was more like a huge psychotic boost.

But first slightly odd thing that happend was, despite me being an atheist at this point in my life, whenever I took a hit on a joint alone, I felt the urge to utter the words out loud: I'm immortal, I'm immortal, I'm immortal. That was strange, but I didn't think much off it, and thought it was just me being high.

>you have no sense for other people, you cant reflekt yourself
I think you are confusing schizophrenia with psychopathy or anti social personality disorder here mate. very different disorders.

Oh shit. another immortal? Welcome to the club dude.

Who really knows? I'm pretty much agnostic about it.

told ya, you fucked up... nothing special, you lost urself... its easy...

#1 be productive... always, always, alwayyys!

#2 be yourself... when its time for that!

#3 make it easy to reach your goals, others will follow.

Have you ever done psychedelics? This is similar to the frame of mind I've experienced while on LSD.

how do you know your NOT talking to a god?

this, after all, lsd was just another drug...

Serious question:
do you fantasize a mass shooting or death of people like Mr. Holmes(who was also schizo) did? If yes, what would be your ideal plot?

Ah I know, I'm not saying I'm something special. I'm trying to work hard on myself, I got better after years of not being able to work, I got a job, I work hard every day, I see my friends in the evening, try to lead a normal life like a normal person etc..

Psychosis itself is still something special, but I like the buddhist saying, before enlightenment chop wood, carry water, after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.

(Not saying psychosis=enlightenment, it's something different, but it's also something life altering, that affects you on a profound spiritual level)

its a good boy, he will kill himself...

I don't. As said in a previous post, I'm agnositc about it. Might as well be God, but could also just be my mind, I really can't know for sure.

What I know is that my superpowers don't work, and God never can tell me something I don't know, but he always has good excuses for it and says that's not how it works and it has to do with the design of the universe. But he can't even tell me the correct time unless I know it, so yeah.. I really don't know.

Nah, never. I'm not a violent person at all, and never have violent fantasies. Maybe sometimes when fapping I tend to get a little bit into bdsm with my thoughts, but that's it with my dark fantasies.

Christmas or Easter?

I strongly disagree of suicide (and homicide) and regard life as holy. I'm a good boy.

But it will expand. Your hatred for people. They will tell you to do it man. I swear. It's getting there...

For now...

What I get from trip reports it's indeed similar, but I've never done anything stronger than weed, although I smoked tons of weed when I was younger.

stupid fuck... your live is boring... thats it...
No risk no fun...
do what you want, untill it cost you mo money...

do your work and fuck some bitches...
and after all... think about yourself again

a man is a man, even if he kills himself!

I always have good uplifting voices.. I also read the nature of your voices has something with the culture you live in, I'm not from USA which has quite the violent culture, so maybe that's why.

is this OP in reference to ?

no

OP here, yes

god should have went the whole human sacrifice or the world would end route, the whole superpower thing never works.

what were these powers

true. If you were in the US, you would have shot up a school. The highschools here breed violence to the extreme.

how do you know your typing with your hands and not your feet while your brain perceives it as hands?

fuck this, im out, fcuking my shizo gf...

Thought I could control the weather, make things appear out of nothing, levitate things, make world events happen or change by performing little symbolic things in my life.. stuff like this.

To Gods credit, once while medicated but on a lower dosis, I heard his voice again, I asked him to help me get my shit together and oh boy he did. First he helped me to clean my terrible messy flat, then he helped me getting a job. He just said to me what I had to do, "pick up this, throw it in the trash, you did good, good my son, very good, now pick up this, clan this, very good, you do a great job" etc.. Then, "now go write a resume, go write a job application" etc.

I still have my job I got this way and my flat is still cleaned up.

How's our condition today?

I always wondered if I was schizo because when I hit highschool I was really paranoid thought people were out to get me so I would start fights but I never heard voices tho so maybe not

I'm fine, thanks for asking. I'm here for another half an hour, then I have to get ready for work.

Anything else besides auditory hallucinations? Also what do you mean by psychosis?

see

Have u ever think about an individual concience?