Secrets thread, let's get it going

Secrets thread, let's get it going.

I secretly hate these threads

I'm a little bit naive.

I secretly like this post

My name is jeff

I miss the days when I was a teen even though it was garbage.

j secretly don't actually want to kill myself

I do to, there was a lot less for me to worry about.

Jeff kaplan?

Simple Sex, Simple Violence and easy School life, Now it's complicated in all aspects (besides school, which is now a 5-9)

my moms friedn tried to fonger me in the back of my moms car

Recently got passed up for a promotion at $25/hourly. They hired someone else and I now have to take direction from this person. It hurts like fuck. I feel embarrssed and ashamed and demeaned. I worked so fucking hard for almost 2 years and they hired from the outside. It kills me inside, honestly.

I want another job but right now I have no immediete prospects. The worst part is my GF is moving to my city and we're supposed to be looking for an apartment together. There is no way I'm going to be able to afford everything associated with that without this promotion I was counting on.

She knows I didn't get the job but doesn't realize how fucked over our plans are now.

I am so fucking miserable .

I am a black person and secretly hate my body.

I mask my depression with ironic self degradation

Try and find work that will appreciate your work and go from there.

How one fongers?

i just came for a 13yo on omegle

>She knows I didn't get the job but doesn't realize how fucked over our plans are now.
talk to her about it. the sooner she knows, the sooner you can start figuring out what to do together.

She's going to be working too, right? Might take her a while to find a job, but once she does that'll take your plans off hold again. it's a short term setback that you can get past together.

There's more to worry about when you're teen than when you're adult.

Nice

Not a chance.

I steal memes from Sup Forums and upload them to 9gag, and I tell 9gaggers to come here.

I'm plotting to find that femanon who cheats on her military husband and posts in these threads.

My IT skills are a little wonky but I'm close. Once I do find her I'm either going to send the caps to her husband or she'll be getting a little 'visit' from me.

I will never post this in one of these threads again.

Gave this dude I know's gf anal on a night out, she shat on my dick a bit so I made her suck it clean.. Not sure if the guy knows or not..

small penis?

you have a perfect opportunity

start your own company, even in a different field.
start selling stuff, build a market.
tell your gf what happened and tell her you'll not have as much money as you thought

but most importantly stop feeling sorry for yourself and being a beta cuck. especially infront of your gf.

gr8 b8 m8

He knows and he's planning to kill you

you're the fgt who used to say the same thing about QG right?

the 'military husband cheat' isn't a woman and isn't from the south.

Let the poor man roleplay in peace, he's doing no harm.

a couple weeks ago my friend/housemate got dumped by his gf, for good reasons. he was pretty devastated. anyway, me and her fucked just a couple hours after they broke up. Have also fucked her quite a few more times since, he has no idea.

Absolute Judas

Pretty shitty bro, but good job at the same time.

>small penis
Blacks generally don't have small penis. I hate my wide nose

That would be somewhat of an overreaction

Wanna see?

I don't have any secrets. I tell every one every thing and they are mostly disgusted by me

Good way to support your friend while he's devastated

I also enjoy doing this user. Ever visited single digits?

What's your best win?

I want to be a mass murderer but am to stupid to pull out

I bought 3 souls, just in case i want to have a deal with the devil.

Anyone here to sell his/her soul?

Every time I have to go to the bathroom I always squirt warm-hot water up my butt with a syringe. I honestly refuse to go otherwise since I feel like it all doesn't come out. But damn does it feel good.

ive fucked a couple other of his exes, he has fucked one of my exes also. we were all fine with it, only difference with this is the wait time.

When I was 16 I was at a real sweet house party. Kids family had property no direct neighbors we could be loud it was great. I had been drinking all night and needed to pee so I go to the upstairs bathroom in the guest room. When I open the door I can see a naked chick passed out on her stomach. As intriguing as that was I needed to piss real bad so I run into the bathroom. After I was done I go to check the girl out. After staring at her ass/pussy for a sec I walk to the other side of the bed to see her face. It's my cousin. I try to shake her awake but she doesn't even move. I think about leaving but I was still a virgin and was horny so I decided I would just look and jerk off. That turned into jerking off touching her and that lead to me penetrating her. I fucked my cousin and came in her no condom. I wasn't thinking. What's worse is I was so panicked after I thought the best thing to do was tell some guy I didn't know there was a passed out chick upstairs. He went upstairs and came back down and told another guy who did the same and so on. Atleast five dudes went up and fuck her some used condoms some didn't. My cousin got pregnant and we have no idea who fathered it. I'm a terrible person.

Tl;dr

I want to find that psycho from another thread and add her on discord so I can eventually fly out to canada and never leave.

So i work with a woman.
She's not overly attractive.
She's clearly a heavy pot smoker.
She's in her 40's
Shes in a relationship and has multiple kids.

Yet i can't seem to get the thought of railing her out of my head.

And I'm married.

nah, i do what i can as his friend as far as emotional support and such. but what he doesnt know cant hurt him.

>Blacks generally don't have small penis
That's literally not true at all. The average length of a penis when erect is about 5.16, and only 5 out of every 100 men have an erect penis larger than 6.3 inches. Blacks technically do have a slightly higher average penis length, but it's only by about .1 inch.

Source: onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bju.13010/epdf

www.penissizes.org/average-penis-size-ethnicity-race-and-country

That's fucked up, but also pretty hot. Does she know it happened at that party or is she a slut and thinks it one of her fuck buddies kids?

its interesting that you keep this information to hand

What can I say, I'm interested in penises. Totally not gay though.

About 8 or 9 times I've gotten to single didgits, I've got many sensational wins I fap to often.

My acne makes me want to kill myself

I also go on omegle sometimes to masturbate to teens and pre-teens, most of the time I manage to find teens from my own country so it's even better. Recently I masturbated and ejaculated to two girls that were about 13, I already had my cock out and they asked me if I wanted to rate their asses and I gladly obliged, they both showed me their tight asses in jeans and they asked which one I liked more, I told them to show their asses to me again because I wasn't sure and I masturbated so hard, they asked me what I wanted to do with them and if I wanted to cum for them, I gladly did while saying I wanted to fuck them both incredibly hard, only by the end of it they asked me for my age and I told them I was 25, they screamed PEDO PEDO and all that good stuff, but only after having expressed they wanted to get fucked and cum from a total stranger :)

She knows it happened at the party but no one wanted drama so the story everyone told her was she went upstairs kissing a guy no one knew. Everyone told her this even her friends who were there.

>My acne makes me want to kill myself
So fucking what? Stop caring about that shit. Do you have a job? Yes? Good. No? Get one.
Focus on living in the world first before your appearance.

You missed the entire point of the thread

The whole BBC is an exaggerated porn myth

I miss the point of a lot of things user, why do you think I'm here?

Lol your probably right I mean I'm still in high school so I don't work but sometimes it just really fucking sucks

I cheated on my boyfriend. First time I ever cheated, I feel terrible but I wanted to be sure I loved him.

That sucks. What does the rest of your family think about it? Is she planning on getting an abortion? Similarly, how do YOU feel about the fact her child might actually be yours?

A great way to be sure you love him is being loyal and not cheating on him like a skank. So nice job, you don't love him.

i feel you. i try to learn as much as i can, but they always have an angle.):

rofl you can rationalize it in a lot of ways but thats just some fucking excuse for whatever reason you really cheated on him

>I cheated on my boyfriend
>I feel terrible but I wanted to be sure I loved him.
these 2 dont go together, u just fcked up

My friend's older brother used to sexually abuse me.

This was awhile ago. She had my nephew as for his parentage I just try not to think about it. I tell myself odds are its not me.

I'm currently acting as a private investigator for a rich ballerina, and shit is getting heavy. If I wasn't getting the money to skip the country, if required, I'd bail.

When I was 16 through 18, I was fucking this girl that I thought was my own age or older. Her parents knew we were active and were always very nice to me. Hell, her step-dad even gave me money for dinner a few times.
Years later, I found out I was actually fucking her from the time she was 11 through 13.

Damn. Must have been hard on her. Well at least she didnt go suicidal or some shit.

what'd he do? fuck you?

current gf's family died leaving her and her two younger sisters and nobody stepped in to take custody so now I am basically stuck with her raising the kids and I want to bail badly.

I fuck my best friends GF every time they get blackout drunk

I plan to assasinate Trump

How old are her sisters?

I let my ex pee in my mouth when we were drunk. Actually tasted pretty good so we did it again a few times after

And some women deserve to be beaten.

Are her sisters at least alright or do they act like little cunts?

No she actually stepped up and got her life together. That was always a huge relief to me that she didn't go down the shitter.

I enjoy being blackmailed by random internet strangers. It sucks.

I fucked my gf's sister when my gf went to bed early and gf's sis and i started drinking.

There's always an excuse when it comes to cheating, "wanted to be sure I love him" love him my ass.

He didn't try anal sex but he did make me give him and his friends head.

8 and 11

The 8 year old has no hope, she's thick as two short planks, the 11yo has been neglected by their deadbeat family and is fucktrash in the making

it is a brutal situation but I've got a lot invested in the relationship and Im fucking over it and want to leave

I used to have sex with my cousin when we were younger. We were both kind of isolated and only 2 months apart so we just always hung out.

It started innocent. Just stupid kid games playing pretend that we were fighters and heroes and cyborgs and shit. Then we would start using magazine models to base our opponents on (this was pre-internet). Slowly their characteristics go more sexual. The leg razor woman whose legs were actually knives and she'd wrap them around you to cut you, the Booby whose giant sweater rack could grow larger and be used as a club etc.

At some point it switched to masturbating together. Then each other. Then trading time doing oral - also back scratches because those are AMAZING. About 12 by this time. Eventually we started outright having sex in the summer before grade 9.

I switched schools (skipped a year when I was younger, then repeated the grade to be with kids my own age and go to public school) and went to their school.

They blew me off at school though so I started a rumour he was gay. Worked because he was a drama kid. Also he was gay. I felt pretty bad about it when I was older because I feel there should have been a better way to deal with it, shit talking family ain't cool.

Best sex I ever had though, fucking his chubby ass, getting fucked in the park and having my first prostate orgasm all over a big rock. Still jerk off to it.

you again?
just dump a few nudes and a contact point and we'll make it happen

The 8 year old is still young so you might be able to fix her. The 11 year old might actually be a lost cause. If you try hard you might be able to turn her around. Also, if you really do care about this girl then stick around because this is one of the most important times of her life. If you don't care about what happens to her then book it in the middle of the night and throw your phone in the nearest river.

>Also he was gay.
And so are you.

Did you secretly like it?

I like my sister... I want her... Im in love with my sister

I wanna put it in all of her holes.

fuck no. He threatened me. Hit me. Told me not to tell anyone. Why the fuck would I like it. I was like 13. He was 18. He wrecked my childhood

Dude. If you want to leave the relationship then that's fine.

But there's nothing wrong with being a role model for the kids. Even just someone they can talk to if they need to or call in an emergency.

You don't have to be their new dad but that doesn't mean you can't be a friend.

It's not your job to fix them, in fact you probably can't. Doesn't mean you can't give what help you can.

If your GF is bailing on your relationship to prioritize the kids that's shitty but understandable. If you really care about her as a person you can still end it to protect yourself, but also still help out from time to time as a friend.

And occasionally still screw.

Ha ha ha I've had that happen. Although other times the girl has asked my age, then kinda said cool. I like older men. Between 4-6 on the eve and moat the weekends are the best times I find. That and an hour or so around 8 or 9 at night.

I've done single digits quite a few times. Youngest was 8 or 9 actually. She out right asked if I wanted to see her vagina kek

my dick is very veiny and has got a lot of moles

Nah I'm one of those greedy bisexuals. I fuck all the things.

You're all just meat puppets anyways.

Last weekend I got to see my 12 & 9yo nieces nude when they skinny dipped in my hot tub. I didnt molester them or anything, but it's not something id go around telling people about irl. Ive seen them nude before quite a few times but had been about a year since last time and it was only briefly

I agree with the other anons. I mean think about it. She probably didn't want to take up the role of raising two girls, but she is doing it anyways. You don't need to be a father to them, but it cant hurt being there for her because she's probably stressing the fuck out about it.

I chatted with a girl who's face was like 50% disfigured. The left side seemed fine, while the right side was looking like an LOTR orc. Few weeks in, I helped her with some homework and JOKINGLY asked for nudes. She got mad and a friend of hers started to jump in. Blocked both, moved on, had a few good laughs about.

Been having to talk myself out of molesting random women in a store or something. Like grab a handful of tits and take off. Urge is getting stronger especially when I drink. I am also married