Be me want to smoke for the first time

Be me want to smoke for the first time
>get 2gs bc think im gonna smoke with friends
>friend is selling bong so whatever buy it
>silicone so doesnt break
>wait over a month to smoke it with friends
>friends never show
>get impatient and try to smoke it while parents are gone
>do everything even fucking watch multiple tutorials
>get everything ready and try to smoke
>try for an hour
>fucking nothing even happens cant even inhale anything no coughing or anything
why cant I fucking smoke a bong

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Buy one of these

try again, faggot

learn to smoke

Plug the choke you fucking idiot. It's a hole somewhere on the side. Put your finger over it. Remove finger when you have enough smoke. Probably 1-2 seconds max.

did that bb i did fuckn everything

>Cant smoke weed
Are you doing it in a bong? Do you fill the bong with water/milk/juice? Are you pressing the clutch?

post pics

yes filled it w/ water and put the ice in and did fuckin everything

If you are to retarded to smoke weed no matter which way , you should better stop trying it.

POST PICS HOW HARD CAN IT BE

Then you arent pressing the clutch dude (the little hole aside the weedholder or whatever the metal where the weed goes is called)
Yeah post pics, maybe its more complicated than what we thought

jesus christ..., here

its literally just a silicone bong i just didnt get shit out of it

Just press it while you blaze the weed, a the the same time inhale and wait until the smoke gets inside the bong, then just put off your finger from the clutch and you will smoke the smoke automatically
sry im high too, well... im high

Remove water and weed. Suck on the top and put a finger over the bowl. Do you feel suction? Are you handicapped? Are you trolling?

lol at first glance I thought you were a troll and that shit was a dildo kek

thx but i was doing that... whatever ill just try again

Get some better friends to smoke with. Part of the initiation is being with others.
They get to laugh at you being stoned without knowing it, and you get to be really confused as to 'why am I not stoned I feel totally normal' while chink eyed and smiley.

And the only issues I've had with not being able to smoke a bong is if the bowls hole is clogged up by the herb. Toss in a small Nug as a plug in the bottom to act as a screen. In fact you'd only need the small Nug chunk as you're alone and 'snappers' are the best kind of bowls.

Grind up the weed, it will burn better

Make a joint with a bible page and blaze it faggot
>4:20

>Fill water until black line
>Insert weed in green
>Put mouth over red
>Light weed
>Inhale slowly
>Remove glass bowl from green
>Inhale the rest of the smoke that has build up in the chamber

I mean, this is standar procedure. l explained as if you didn't know this at all but I assume you do. I'm also assuming you've grinded the weed before and not just putting a whole nug in there.

Well first of all, you're a faggot, nice revamped dildo bong.

Secondly, if you can't figure it out then you don't deserve to get high.

Finally, seriously?

While you burn the weed and your mouth is on red, your finger has to be in the clutch, the little hole, then you burn the weed and inhale so the smoke form in the inside of the bong, finally you just quit your finger from the clutch and the smoke will go automatically to your lungs

Wtf is that?

Yea bruhh wtf you never mention any clutch or tiny hole, maybe you are not pressing it and thats why there is no suction, you have to press it while you blaze the weed on green and your mouth is on red, then when there is enough smoke from the burning happy weed you just drop the clutch and take a slightly inhale because anyway the smoke goes automatically to your mouth in red

op show us your weed cause you're probably smoking tea leaves or some shit

Shit, does that dildo even have a clutch?

This.
Also what's with all the 'clutches' is that the word for a carb on a fucking bong?

yes
also why are u fucks buying bongs with carbs. SHIT TIER

just hand bong

OP WHAT ARE THE UPDATES

Op is probably 13

loooooool

you suck bref

youtu.be/SwqPHZT2i14

WTF is happening in this thread are you trying to teach someone to smoke wtf is going on ????

yeah bro of course

OP, very simple.
>put weed in bowl, not too much not too little, ensure it is ground and if you want mix it with tobacco, make sure that it is fine enough to pull through well
> fill with water just above where the downstem ends in the chamber
> firmly cover the shotty (hole in side or wherever it is)
> light bowl WITH HAND OVER SHOTTY
> breathe in and you should see the weed light up and if it were transparent then smoke would start to accumulate
> after maybe 4-5 seconds, let go of the shotty (hole on the side of the bong) and breathe in slowly (cause you've never done it before and don't want to be overwhelmed)
> breathe out
> success